A little caution...

[hodgsonsurvivor]

I'm rather new to these forums and have read a lot of postings. I have to agree with a few people that some of the postings don't come across very supportive or well-intentioned. I believe there is a time and place for every emotion, including being upset. When I am upset or confused, or just plain annoyed by something and I share it in the forum, I don't want to feel attacked for sharing. I've considered not returning on several occasions because of things posted in my own threads. I can't imagine what other newbies feel from reading the all out fights in various threads. I'm hanging around for the support and for the occasional good idea, but I am not interested in unsolicited advice, name-calling, berating, or public tounge-lashings. Diabetes is a scary thing, even for me (almost 20 years into it) and the stress I feel reading these threads can't be good... I sincerely hope that everyone thinks carefully about what they post when they're posting...and if you're not in it to build up or support, then what are you doing?

[howdysf]

Though some won't admit it, I gotta say, for me at least, there is some entertainment value involved with these crazy posts! (in fact maybe too much.. I gotta get back to work!)... I know I can't be the only one... anyway, you should stick around hodgsonsurvivor...

[Psycho Penguin]

I think if you want to post something online, you should be prepared for the consequences, good and bad. It's fine to get support, but a little debate never hurt anyone. People need to "grow some balls" sometimes and stop overreacting and being drama queens over everything.

[EeyoreButterfly]

I think part of the problem that I have seen recently is people with questionable intentions startign posts on this forum and escalating the arguments. There have also been a couple of posters who appear to be dishonest in their experiences. These are the only times I have seen people be less than welcoming to new people. There are times when I feel that people respond in too strong a member and I wonder if this is the right board for me, so I understand where you are coming from. But then I read other threads and see how normally the people here are very supporting and understanding.

I don't know that there is a perfect message board out there. Please stick around, I have enjoyed your posts.

[howdysf]

I agree that some people do need to "grow some balls" too... I think that was put perfectly and most eloquently.... like I said before, sometimes there is just entertainment value to it.. kind of like watching a car wreck... ha ha ha

[zdooder]

It would be a shame if this forum became the kind of place where you couldn't post an opinion without "growing a pair" and being prepared to formally defend your position in a debate filled with personal attacks.

But thankfully I can post the above opinion without fear of attack or ridicule, because this is a supportive community that is above such things.

Right?

[Psycho Penguin]

There's no law saying you HAVE to defend yourself on anything. There's only debate if there's two people involved.

Right?

[howdysf]

It would be a shame if this forum became the kind of place where you couldn't post an opinion without "growing a pair" and being prepared to formally defend your position in a debate filled with personal attacks.

But thankfully I can post the above opinion without fear of attack or ridicule, because this is a supportive community that is above such things.

Right?

well you are in a sea of estrogen, so yes, you can... sometimes I think it is good to toughen up a bit.. in this world we live in it seems everything has become so...vanilla... once in a while we just gotta be able to deal with it... anyway, I don't even know what I'm saying.. please don't take offense.

[Barberian]

I was under the impression when I joined this forum it was a place to discuss diabetes related issues in a supportive format, of the diabetic, for the diabetic. I read several posts, by several people that had occured over the several previous days. When people are first diagnosed alot of them head streight to the internet and do a crash course on thier condition (regardless of what it is, cancer, herpes, diabetes, etc...). Sometimes a slap in the face is in order. Wake up, you'll live, it's only diabetes. Learn it, live it, love it, it' your condition most likely for life now. With that said, there is no reason to be cruel about it. People come here often in a state of shock, very off balance emotionally, they just learned they have a potentially very serious, life threatening (if they don't manage it properly) condition. A little compasion goes a long way. The person that is offended when they first show up will probably not come back.

What type of community is this site fostering? That is MY question. I've seen some very compasionate responses to my questions. I've had some very insitefull answers to some of my questions. I've also had a snide answer or two to my questions. That's just something a public forum has to put up with. You will probably see who is helpfull, and who is an insensitive *** soon enough if you stick around. My opinion is I will stick around here most likely. I will google more, and read and learn from others here. I will post helpfull stuff when I think i can help others. I can't make the whole world a better place, but I can make my heart and soul a better place, and that's a start.

*warm fuzzies "OFF"

[Jan B]

I agree with Howdy -- there is an entertainment factor. I got caught up reading what nopump4me started. Most of the time, a moderator would have caught that faster.

Kristina - you haven't been around very long. Something I've noticed is how the whole feel of this forum can change pretty dramatically over time. I was away for about 2 months and when I came back, it didn't seem the same thoughtful and helpful place it had been. But I kept watching, instead of just leaving. And I'm still trying to overlook some of the junk.

I hope you stay around, even if you need to take some breaks!

[gettingby]

I have been a member of this site for 4 years now. Throughout that time, there have been a lot of "trolls" and quite a few who played on everyone's emotions. Not too long ago, we had a well liked and very respected member become sick and die suddenly.:( At the same time, while we were trying to mourn his death and make sense of what happened, another "member" tried to play on our emotions. She/he(whichever this person was) proved to be a troll. A lying troll at that. It's just made us all a little leery and cautious of who we believe.
With that being said, I still believe this is a caring community.:) I chose to ignore those who try to rile me.

[GeishaGirl]

To be honest, I have to kind of agree with the OP. There are some things I've wanted to ask or talk about or vent about, but shy away from because it opens me up to the "you're a bad diabetic" thing b/c I don't low-carb. When I first joined this board, I was.... not offended, but put-off, I guess, by the militant nature of some of the low-carbers here. I wasn't allowed to complain unless I was low-carbing and STILL not getting results -- that's the impression I was left with.

[EeyoreButterfly]

To be honest, I have to kind of agree with the OP. There are some things I've wanted to ask or talk about or vent about, but shy away from because it opens me up to the "you're a bad diabetic" thing b/c I don't low-carb. When I first joined this board, I was.... not offended, but put-off, I guess, by the militant nature of some of the low-carbers here. I wasn't allowed to complain unless I was low-carbing and STILL not getting results -- that's the impression I was left with.

I've been left with the same impression as well! It seems that if you follow the ADA guidelines as outlined by the CDE and eat carbs (even if your blood sugar does not spike) that you are stupid. This isn't explicitly stated, but it is implied whether people mean to or not. It is definitely intimidating sometimes, and there are certain questions that I hesitate to post here.

[matingara]

wow! i have obviously missed something (again!!!).

:)

[soso]

I can't speak for others but I certainly hope people don't get the impression from my posts that I think people are stupid or bad if they don't low carb.

I am a committed low carber, but not because I really want to be, I just know it works in regards to my diabetes and I guess any advice I have to give reflects my experience.
I have read other forums where people feel intimidated by the low numbers some achieve and feel that they cannot post in certain threads.
So just to set the record straight, here and now, if I could find a way (on a regular basis) or could get a pump..I would be eating way more carbs than I am now—and enjoying them too!
If you do not post your questions, we don't get a chance to answer them.
If we do answer in a way that implies carb cutting is necessary, that may be because that is the only way we personally have found to deal with our problem.
Remember that you may be asking a question that will help countless people who are in read only mode...

And darn it! I missed the fun too! Work! always getting in the way of my real life.....

[TenderVittleS]

Just like diabetes, no place is perfect, including the forums. Every diabetic is different from their schedules to how different foods affect them as well as metabolism, etc. Nobody here is "perfect" and I know I have come on strong a few times, but that's what makes this place. Like others have said it can be quite amusing as long as noboby intentionally puts others down. I know when I'm having a hard time I need to vent because in real life I hardly meet type 1 diabetics.

[ant hill]

I guess that people get themselves in a knot when their BG is off or often low (And this is why I am not popular with my sister) as I am in the icecream bucket to rid of a low and complains of me being a bad diabetic. :( and so I can get very moody as my dear sis dosen't know what it's like to have a low. :mad: And now Dad has this stupid disease now she's quiet. :rolleyes: and now I fear for my own sister that she will suffer.

Folks, We are in a disease that is chronic and can plague our minds with many emotions and I see that in this forum where many people come to vent their experiences. It's the same for the medical community too as we do get cranky over this that they seem to think "Yeah So?" and think nothing of it. We are in this mess that we have to put up with it and feel alone, But with this forum we not alone thanks to Tony and this fabulous website.

There is an up side though as wonderful people who make us more together. And I think that David (Davef) has us in a wonderful spin on cards and with Christmas on our doorstep is a great gesture to do.
We all need a hug and hold hands as this disease can be rough and the key is understanding that this can be controlled. ;)

[alicat61]

[QUOTE=ant hill;397322]I guess that people get themselves in a knot when their BG is off or often low (And this is why I am not popular with my sister) as I am in the icecream bucket to rid of a low and complains of me being a bad diabetic. :( and so I can get very moody as my dear sis dosen't know what it's like to have a low. :mad: And now Dad has this stupid disease now she's quiet. :rolleyes: and now I fear for my own sister that she will suffer.

Folks, We are in a disease that is chronic and can plague our minds with many emotions and I see that in this forum where many people come to vent their experiences. It's the same for the medical community too as we do get cranky over this that they seem to think "Yeah So?" and think nothing of it. We are in this mess that we have to put up with it and feel alone, But with this forum we not alone thanks to Tony and this fabulous website.

There is an up side though as wonderful people who make us more together. And I think that David (Davef) has us in a wonderful spin on cards and with Christmas on our doorstep is a great gesture to do.
We all need a hug and hold hands as this disease can be rough and the key is understanding that this can be controlled. ;)

:) Hi
Peter I agree with you !00% We should not be bickering amoungst ourselves. We should be supportive of each other.
Not Everyone is going to get on with all the members of this forum. Nobody gets on with everyone at work/in your street etc. Thats life but making a mountain out of a mole hill is not going to help.
I have read issues new members have about not feeling welcome. Reading threads such as this would certainly send people running.
Just a sugestion if some one upsets you or you are unclear of there intentions could you not P.M them instead of bringing the forum undone

[Caravaggio]

If I may add my 2 cents worth ...

We should all remember that written language is very different from spoken language. What may sound logical, reasonable, witty or anything else positive when spoken can sound very harsh, cold, even painful when read, even when that wasn't the intention of the writer. The reader does not have the benefit of facial expression, intonation, vocal hints, hand gestures, eye contact.

There is no perfect forum, anywhere. At least here, I've not had occasion to encounter an absolutely bitter, condescending, negative member who obviously thinks he or she knows best and that other members' opinions are not worth the webpage they're typed on - or perhaps I've not been here long enough. ;)

[Subby]

I'm rather new to these forums and have read a lot of postings. I have to agree with a few people that some of the postings don't come across very supportive or well-intentioned. I believe there is a time and place for every emotion, including being upset. When I am upset or confused, or just plain annoyed by something and I share it in the forum, I don't want to feel attacked for sharing. I've considered not returning on several occasions because of things posted in my own threads.

hodgsonsurvivor, you've started 5 threads.

They can be accessed through your profile.

Each time you've received nothing but firm emotional support and advice ranging from immediately useful to potentially worth considering. So there are some different ways of delivery (um, it's a forum?) but absolutely nothing nasty held within. Anyone can verify this by having a quick glance over them.

If you are happy to post loud and clear the statement that you would not return her because of things posted in your own threads - these useful, supportive, friendly threads - I for one wouldn't mind if you didn't - because I consider these kind of dramatic and unfounded accusations the sort of thing that starts trouble in the first place.

Sorry if that sounds harsh. Note I didn't tell you you were an idiot or attack you. I'm personally happy for you to stick around especially if you follow your own advice or at least seem to be trying to. But I think you're crying over phantasms in the case of anything directed at you.

[mell1682]

I'm rather new to these forums and have read a lot of postings. I have to agree with a few people that some of the postings don't come across very supportive or well-intentioned. I believe there is a time and place for every emotion, including being upset. When I am upset or confused, or just plain annoyed by something and I share it in the forum, I don't want to feel attacked for sharing. I've considered not returning on several occasions because of things posted in my own threads. I can't imagine what other newbies feel from reading the all out fights in various threads. I'm hanging around for the support and for the occasional good idea, but I am not interested in unsolicited advice, name-calling, berating, or public tounge-lashings. Diabetes is a scary thing, even for me (almost 20 years into it) and the stress I feel reading these threads can't be good... I sincerely hope that everyone thinks carefully about what they post when they're posting...and if you're not in it to build up or support, then what are you doing?

I hate to say it but I agree with you. This is a support forum and I personally have gotten tons of support but know of others who came here for support and have received a lot of criticism. I've never felt like that but I gotta admit I don't post much here because of what I've seen others do to people who were just looking for some support. Having this disease is bad enough but when you come to a place where it's supposed to be a connecting factor it can be really disheartening to see some of these threads where innocent questions turn into accusations and name-calling. It gets me all worked up and I have to walk away because that is NOT the purpose of this forum and I refuse to engage in that kind of behavior. I enjoy the advice and experience others have to offer with this beast called diabetes but I don't like the criticism and negativity that occurs here sometimes. Public forums aren't all like this, I know cuz I'm part of a few. Just my opinion.

[Jan B]

In past similar cases . . . a moderator has come in sooner.

The two instances you mentioned are not at all the same. That poor girl -- a tragic story.

Yesterday, a man (I assume) showed up and came on very strong about his opinion of the pump, and started trashing some members. He was supposedly a long time diabetic who was very agitated that in a world as advanced as ours, the treatment of type 1s hasn't gotten any better than it has. He trashed type 2s later on in the thread. He was name calling and being a total A__. HE was not a victim!! He had no respect for anyone who wasn't a professional debater.

I was shocked at how some of our members kept trying to have a real conversation -- I wouldn't give that sucker any positive attention! I wanted to say what I really thought . . . but I never got involved.

Picture a ____ crashing your party. You let him in your house. Then he starts wrecking things and causing a lot of trouble. Are you seriously concerned he might go off and commit suicide because most didn't approve of his style?