Hello!

[knwalter]

Hi!
I just found this forum and joined today. I'm very excited to be here. I've found and joined other threads, that I've enjoyed, but they always seemed to leave something out. This one seems to have everything I need. So, I'll try to tell you a little about myself and why I joined today, without writing a novel!

I'm 37, my husband, Jim, is 35. We got married on September 11, 1999. I've been diabetic for 10+ years and only the last couple, have I been trying to take care of myself. Jim and I have TTC since 2004, the first time we got pregnant (Jan. 2006), I had health insurance through Kaiser Permanente and went to the doctor constantly, which is when I got put on insulin originally. We lost that baby at 22 weeks. The baby never developed kidneys, it's heart and lungs were not developed properly because I had no amniotic fluid. I've done research and think I figured out what was wrong (I can't begin to pronounce, let alone spell what it was called), but we were told by my diabetic OBGYN that it was a one in a million type thing and that it wouldn't happen again. We got pregnant again in January of 2007 and lost that baby at 13 weeks in the bathroom at the OB's office :( I am overweight, a lot overweight, but don't really know why. I don't eat anymore than my husband who is not the least bit overweight. With the first pregnancy, I had lost 60 pounds when we conceived, during the short time I was pregnant, I gained the entire 60 pounds back, after losing that baby, I managed to lose 30 of the 60 pounds I'd put back on and only gained 7 pounds the short time I was pregnant the second time. Since staying on insulin, with the second loss, I've gained all the weight back. I'm now 5'8 and 260 pounds. With the second pregnancy, we didn't have insurance and I'm pretty sure the constant stress and worrying contributed to the loss, along with the diabetes being completely out of control. I've been on my insulin for a year now and got my A1C down from 11, at pregnancy, to 8. I know this is still too high, but I'm trying. I can't seem to lose the weight though.

The reason I joined today is to discuss my current situation. I'll start by saying to everyone, that while I know my situation is not ideal, I want to have a child and at 37, after struggling through miscarriages and getting better control of my diabetes, oh and I quit smoking too (1.1 years now!), I am running out of time to have a baby and still have the patience and piece of mind to raise a family. I've found a fabulous OBGYN who will let us make payments, a hospital who will let us make payments and a diabetic OBGYN who will somewhat work on payments with us. I just don't know what else to do, I can't sit around and wait to get health insurance any longer! So back to my question. We've been using condoms for the last year, faithfully! A couple of weeks ago, my husband got a little frisky and we risked it and "did the deed" sans condom. Now, I'm 3 days late with my period and my breasts are sore, I've been a real nightmare to be around and GASSY!! Whew!! I keep getting negative on the HPT's I've taken and plan on going to the doctor soon, but wanted to wait to see if I was just late. The thing is that I usually get like this about a week before my period and usually get a kind of brownish discharge the day before I start. This time nothing, no discharge, just the "beechies" as I call them and the bloating and gas. I was just wondering if being diabetic or overweight or both could be causing my sore breasts and symptoms or if they could cause me not to ovulate at all, but still show symptoms? I'm just so desperate to have a family. Thanks to all of you for listening and hope to meet some new friends soon.

[adiantum]

My heart goes out to you. I realise your need to have a babay but I believe you should address the diabetes urgently.
I believe an A1c of 8 is too high for your body to cope with pregnancy
Do you count carbs & exercise?

[knwalter]

Hi Lee!
I somewhat count carbs. Without an actual Endocrinologist to see, I do my best. I try to keep around 60 per meal. I have the exact same breakfast every single morning. Oatmeal (flavored, instant) and two pieces of whole wheat toast with about 1/2 Tbs. butter, also around 3 cups of coffee with sugar free French vanilla creamer (coffee-mate, only 1 carb per serving!). So, I'm usually at about 55-60 for breakfast. Sometimes I don't eat lunch, but when I do, it's usually a sandwich, chips and 2 cookies, I do try to stay at one serving, but tend to overdo it sometimes. Dinner is a whole different story, my husband NEVER gets home at the same time or on time for that matter, so sometimes I don't eat until 8:00 or 8:30. I do pretty good for dinner, except for the time, it's lunch that I seem to have a problem with controlling. For instance, yesterday, I tested as soon as I got up and I was at 163. I took my insulin at 7:30, didn't eat until 9:30, took my blood sugar again at 11:30 and it was 239???!!!??? I go from good numbers to really bad numbers to sometimes crazy low numbers. I actually had a 93 a couple of times this week and a real low 70 once. Sometimes my meter says Ketones? and I don't know what this means. When I had insurance through Kaiser, I tried to get a referral to see an Endocrinologist, on my diabetic mother's advice and they refused to give me one, stating that I didn't need one. My mom was FURIOUS! After the second loss last year, I kind of cracked up, I'm not saying that I'm special, I know that a lot of women have gone through far worse, but I can't continue to make excuses to people for how I feel either. I got extremely depressed and got put on Paxil and was coming out of pocket $100/week to see a "shrink", which I stopped because after 2 months, we were still using half of my hour to discuss payments and such, it was b***s***! I've tried to work since then, but I get so upset at the slightest things anymore, well at least until the Paxil started working. Now, my husband just wants me to stay stress free and take care of myself, so we can try to have a family. As far as exercise, not really, I walk our puppy twice a day and when I was pregnant the last time, I used my "Tony Little" machine, like a cross-country ski type machine, but it got too loud and squeaky. I know I need to get more, but sometimes you have to start slow and that's what I've been doing. I had my kidneys checked at my last doctor's appointment and, to my surprise, they were fine, "great" is actually what my doctor said! I know everyone is going to tell me the same thing, to lose weight first, yada, yada, but some people are just what they are. I'm doing the best I can, and even though I still need to improve, why should I give up the precious few years I still have to have a baby. Aren't there worse people out there, who already have kids? This isn't a personal attack on you, I just get tired of hearing everyone tell me to wait on this, that and the other. I know I put myself in the place where I am and that I alone can get me where I need to be, but the fact remains that I'm not 25 anymore and don't have 10 years ahead of me to accomplish these things, so I'll never have my numbers, weight, etc. perfect to where it should be, but at least finally waking up to my disease and making forward steps should count for something, don't you think? Thank you for your kind words and well meaning, I do need to be smacked down a peg or two sometimes......I hope you can sincerely understand where I'm coming from.

[adiantum]

[QUOTE=knwalter;411947] I do need to be smacked down a peg or two sometimes...... QUOTE]

Oooooh I hope you didn't feel as if I was trying to smack you .
Sometimes the written word can be misinterpreted & all my caring tones were lost in print.
I used to feel wretched when I had high bg & it wasnt until I started to reduce carbs that I had the energy to exercise.
I've not seen an endo yet either but get more information here on this forum then I could get from any source.

[genie86333]

Hi Lee!
I somewhat count carbs. Without an actual Endocrinologist to see, I do my best. I try to keep around 60 per meal.

Hi! Welcome to the forum!

You mention that you & your husband eat the same things & you're overweight & he's not - you didn't mention if he's diabetic or not, but if he's not, that explains the difference & even if he is, it explains the difference too as the only consistant thing about diabetes is it's inconsistancy.

Perhaps this is too many carbs for *you* but an OK amount for him. I know if I ate as many carbs as you mentioned, my bs would be sky high. (just the 2 pieces of wheat toast would throw me up over 225 guaranteed, not to mention the oatmeal!) Also, you didn't mention if your coffee has caffeine, as that raises *some* people's blood sugars.

One thing to note about insulin - it allows your body to process the carbs you take in & stores extra - hence the weight gain - if you cut carbs, there won't be as much to store. :)

Best thing to try is "eating to your meter." Test, eat, test 2 hours later - if your blood sugar goes up (especially if it's over 140) know that next time you have the same food, you need to eat less of it (or substitute it with something else entirely!)

Also, as Lee said, I haven't seen an endo either - haven't seen the need to do so because this forum has given me all the info I need & my doc hasn't seen the need to send me to one either.

Please don't take any of this as a "smack." None of it is meant that way. As a mom of 3, I know how important children are to us & I feel so badly for you about your two lost loved ones. This is just meant as advice to hopefully help (a little bit) lead to a happy outcome!

And yes, the fact that you're taking steps forward counts for something! In fact, it counts for A LOT! You can't get control without those first steps!