worried about dating?

[cwathne]

Might sound strange, but I just want to know if I'm the only one with these thoughts or not.

I'm 22 and in College. Until recently I've been dating a wonderful girl that I met in high school, but as we have been growing up we have also been growing apart.

Now that I'm single I'm a little bit worried about dating. I know that I shouldn't be embarrassed about having diabetes, but I am. How do you get over this when beginning to date? Do you tell the person quickly after meeting them about having diabetes?

thanks for any advice/stories :o

[mike-munich]

Not a strange question at all. :cool:

My g/f is 19, I took her out for dinner one night (like the 2nd date or so) and played around with my insulin pump to bolus. She asked me what I'm doing there and I just explained it to her. Not a problem at all, she was really cool about it and wanted to know everything about it. Turned out that her aunt is a type 2, so she knew a few things about diabetes. We are together for 6 month now and she really watches my food and makes me check my BG more often. If I'm in the 90-150 range I get a "reward"...:love: That's what I call "motivation"... hehe

Don't worry about it man, I bet it's no big deal. Just bring it up. Diabetes is a part of you, and always will be. It's nothing that keeps you from doing fun stuff, and she will find out. :D

[Tattoo azz]

Just tell her, it's a part of who you are and won't go away if you ignore it, if she's as great as you say she is then it won't be a problem. But tell her face to face don't tell her over the phone.

[lorilei]

i think, especially if you meet the "right" person (even if for only a short time), you will know when to tell them....guess most ppl tell around a meal anyway...i'd also say, no later than the third date!!

we had one story where the guys had d and was on a pump....wasn't sure when to tell his new girlfriend...turned out she was on a pump too...

[sugarspunZ]

when i was younger (i am 33) i was really insecure about telling girls i was diabetic so i totally understand where you are coming from.
the bottom line is if a girl has a problem with it then she is not worth dating.
i will usually tell someone i am diabetic in our 2nd or 3rd date. in the past i had a few uncomfortable experiences from not telling the girl i was dating. i had 2 girls in the past find broken syringes in my trash can and they asked if i was a junky. hahhahaaa i after that i am pretty up front about it.

[angelsbridges]

I agree, you should let it out. I think people are right, if you can't tell them, they aren't worth dating. I couldn't even imagine being scared to tell someone something about my life. I think I realized a couple years ago it's the way to tell the keepers from the non-keepers.

[CaitE]

It's good to know that the person you're dating has the "up-to-date" facts rather than misconceptions based on stats from 50 years ago. Then they'll be able to see that we can live long and healthy lives if we take care. A healthier lifestyle can rub off on those around you.

Good luck.

[lorilei]

k...kind of funny but also a warning embedded...my friend told me that she once ended up meeting a guy at a party that she would see around campus...they were whooping it up and he came back to her room...she woke up to him passed out and profusely sweating...she knew his roommate and called for help to get him home...the roommate told her to call 911 b/c the guy passed out was a diabetic (i'm guessing insulin shock? as she mentioned the medics pumping him with fluids...but what do i know)...she tells me "this is my "favorite diabetic" then she looks at me and says.."oh" haha

morale of the story: if you plan on sleeping over, better let the bedmate know!

[cwathne]

^as terrible as that would be, it made me lol

thanks for the comments!

[Mick]

I didn't date much in HS or college. In HS, I figured everyone who I'd grown up with there just already knew about my diabetes, because most of them were classmates of mine when I was initially diagnosed in 8th grade--I ended up in a coma and missed a month of school! In college, I never really told many people, but especially a potential girlfriend, because I didn't want her to jump ship. My eventual wife was an old friend from high school, so when we hooked back up in college, she already "knew", but not really--and what she DIDN'T know was how much her parents would freak out about me. Anyway, we eloped, she learned everything there was to know about T1 Diabetes, and took good care of me for nearly 35 years, but died 2 years ago from cancer. Okay, phase II of my dating career, I join the newly single ranks at age 55! Things are very different--insulin pens, glucose meters, all stuff we never had my first time around. I went on a few dates but never told any of the women. But when you go home with one and sleep together, it's a really good idea to let her in on the entire thing. My new wife (I remarried 8 months ago) knew I was diabetic, and thought she knew what that menat, as her dad was T2, but really she hadn't a clue. One of our first sleepovers, I got up the next morning okay, tested and took my morning insulin, ready to go eat breakfast, but she had other ideas, and rolled me back to bed for some morning fun. I obliged her, soon forgetting I'd taken my insulin and needed to eat soon. I had a big, scary (for her) insulin reaction, and she nearly freaked out. Lesson learned, she knows now most of the in's and out's of my treatment, and asks me after I test what my number was--something my first wife never did! If you are going to be sleeping with a girl, tell her right away. Otherwise, see how you feel before sprining it on her.
Michael

[Jan B]

There was only one guy I went on one date with, who wouldn't have married me because of the D. He would have dated me, but I didn't want a second date! He was a beautiful, muscle bound speciman of a man, but after spending a couple hours with him, I was horribly turned off. (That was before I knew about his "ideal" mate.) He needed a mate who could bear perfect children without any known risks. It's funny thinking about that guy . . . I'll admit he was a great lesson on how the outside of a person can be the polar opposite of the inside.

[AngelKitty]

There was only one guy I went on one date with, who wouldn't have married me because of the D. He would have dated me, but I didn't want a second date! He was a beautiful, muscle bound speciman of a man, but after spending a couple hours with him, I was horribly turned off. (That was before I knew about his "ideal" mate.) He needed a mate who could bear perfect children without any known risks. It's funny thinking about that guy . . . I'll admit he was a great lesson on how the outside of a person can be the polar opposite of the inside.

Jan you are lovely - this guy was clearly a loser (with a capital L)! :D

[AngelKitty]

Now that I'm single I'm a little bit worried about dating. I know that I shouldn't be embarrassed about having diabetes, but I am. How do you get over this when beginning to date? Do you tell the person quickly after meeting them about having diabetes?

thanks for any advice/stories :o

Hi there,
What you are feeling is perfectly normal, and please don't be embarrassed that you have diabetes, this is nothing to be emabrrassed or feel ashamed of. You are still the same wonderful person, just have some special dietary and medicinal needs ;)

I think as in any relationship (friendship included) you need to be completely honest with each other - you can't have a good, strong relationship without honesty, (no honesty, no trust).

When people love us, they love us unconditionally - warts and all - that's the beauty about finding the right person.
Guess this may be a good 'key indicator' going forward on the 'dating circuit'.

Remember, confidence is crucial - love yourself unconditionally - and other people will as well.

[alexalisbeth]

This is a really good topic, but I think its even more widespread than for dating new people. I was actually really excited about my diagnosis because it meant I wasn't falling apart and feeling like **** for no good reason so I was thrilled to share this discovery with my friends. One particular dinner where I had a double date with two old friends I hadn't seen in a long time and my new boyfriend I just spilled my whole story over dinner, thinking they'd love to hear it just like my other close friends had, but they didn't. They were just kind of shocked and didn't have anything to ask or say.

So its a question of when do you bring it up, how, and how much information is worth sharing? And I clearly don't have a good answer for that. Its obviously important for people to know if they spend a good amount of time around you, but everyone will react to it differently. And if it bothers them, it bothers them. Nothing you can do about that.

I can definitely remember sitting at a community picnic a few years ago where a stranger pulled out his glucose meter, tested himself, and insulinated himself right there at the table and I got jittery. I didn't know whether to ask about it, ignore it, or how to feel about the injection, so I just shut up for the whole meal and let everyone around me converse... Now? I want to tell people everything I know about diabetes!

[Beckernj]

I wouldnt worry too much about it. I have been with my gf for almost 2 years now. I was with her for a year and a half before and then got diagnosed. She took it with no issues and continues to support me.

Dont just blurt it out, discretly do something a diabetic would do and then explain if they ask. Dont see it as something that is to be worried about. If you dont show too worried about it they wont!

[katecpell]

if you arent careful, you should be worried. no joke. I joined this forum because, and i mean BECAUSE my boyfriuend is a diabetic.

if you dink, especially. please be careful.

i didnt understand everything at first. wed fight, and now i realize it got so bad because his sugars were probably around the 20s.

listen. its a big responsibility. if you have someone else in your life, you have to care veen more about yourself than any other time. this goes for everyone.

[UltiMica06]

Kinda late to respond since Everyone else did!

BUT...I didint care...I just basically told people I was Diabetic etc....I was kinda "shy" injecting in front of my friends etc.....Now I just dont care!...hahaha...I'll just whip it out & do it.

[katecpell]

Yea no one even thinks about it, especially if they already know your diabetic. Ive seen people do the "Huh?" face and then they figure it out. People know diabetes in america.


... :( unfortunately

[Shubert]

Kinda late to respond since Everyone else did!

BUT...I didint care...I just basically told people I was Diabetic etc....I was kinda "shy" injecting in front of my friends etc.....Now I just dont care!...hahaha...I'll just whip it out & do it.

Yeah, it eventually came to that point with me. A lot of people I work with and hang out with have realized that it is just something that I do. When someone sits there and stares at me while I'm testing my BS or taking a shot, I actually just stare back at them. I even ended up asking one guy "Is there something wrong dude?"

He simply said "No" and turned his head back to what he was doing. It may be a douchebag move, but I just got tired of it.

[jeffturner]

Hey buddy you need not to worry for this thing, just explain her the situation and i don't think there will be any problem.