Giving up..

[jackiemariee]

Does anyone else ever feel like giving up? I have to admit, lately I have been feeling that temptation to just give up on everything. I have been a self proclaimed "bad diabetic" for majority of my diabetic life. It has only been recent where I have tried to turn things around and take good control.

I check my blood sugars at least 5 - 7 times a day. I do all of my injections. I avoid unhealthy foods unless unavoidable. However, my poor care has sparked other health complications. For those of you who have read my introduction post, you will find much of this repetitive. Lately, mostly within the past month, I have experience burning in my legs, shooting pains in my feet and toes, cold feet, cold hands, a stretched bladder, and other smaller complications. (I know most of these symptoms spell out diabetic neuropathy) I only really started to feel this way when I started to take better control. I realize its probably because my body is more used to me having a higher blood sugar than not and so the regular blood sugar levels are making my body freak out. At least this is my theory.

I've been to countless doctors and all have told me the same thing, keep your blood sugar control. I'm afraid I've gotten to a point where this constant pain in unbearable and it keeps me up at night. I haven't slept more than 3 hours in a night within the past month. For the past 2 days I have got 0 hours of sleep.

I feel like I am losing all hope. I have emailed and called my endocrinologist in hopes he can perscribe me something to help alleviate my pain. I haven't had a response. I've decided to see another endocrinologist of which I have an appointment tomorrow. I hope that he will be more attentive and can help me.

I'm just so tired of this disease. I know i'll never be rid of it and I was ready for that path to acceptance, but this pain and restlessness is really taking a toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I don't really expect a response. I just wanted to put my feelings out there in hopes that by doing so, I can just move on and do what i have to do to get better.

[princesslinda]

jackiemariee, i'm so sorry you're having such a difficult time right now. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to hurt all the time. I'm T2, not on insulin, so I really can't offer any advice, but I do understand that hopeless feeling. We all get it from time to time, and physical pain/issues make it all worse....but we can NEVER give up!

Hopefully some other T1s can offer you some solutions.

(((Hugs)))

[yannah]

hi there sweetheart! I hear your sadness and frustration.
the good thing about the past is it is gone and we can't control it. the good thing about the future is we can control it.
and don't beat yourself up, diabetes is so hard on people and many are in denial and it so especially difficult for young people. all you can do now is improve. so you have to keep on doing that and your health will improve. i don't know if you will be pain free, but I hope it can get alot better and I may very well be right. You are doing good now. now is all we have.
we are all only doing as well as we are right now. keep your chin up.

[SuzySushi]

Don't give up! Lots of people go through bad spells. Keep good control to prevent further complications!

There are medications that can relieve the pain of neuropathy. Ask your endo or GP about them. (My husband, who was Type 1, took amitriptyline, which is also an antidepressant, but there are newer medications that are specifically for neuropathy.)

Good luck!

[mrhodes]

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. It's hard to keep a positive spin on things when all else seems to be attacking.

We are Diabetic & we can't avoid it. We HAVE to do certain things in order to keep going. For me personally, nothing in this world helps the pain, sugar #'s, etc any more than exercise. A simple 1/2 hour walk at least once a day does wonders! I walk today so that I can see tomorrow.

My Pap used to say, "Old age insn't bad, considering the alternative." I suppose one can say the same about the big D.

[Mich]

Well Jackie,

You're too tired and a bit depressed. It has happened to every single diabetic except the ones who are lying about it.

Your body does get used to being high, by the way and it feels normal. When you get your sugar down a bit, it feels like it's too low. Your pain is directly due to being too high, and will lighten up as soon as you start to level out at a lower plane.

In my opinion, the key to it all is to get into a routine. When I was your age, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, it looked like a boring way to live. Now I know better. By getting into a routine, you don;t have to think so much about your diabetes, things become second nature and you can think about the things in life that really matter.

Here are some suggestions from me to you. They are heartfelt because I know exactly how you feel.

Get the info from your new doc. Know where your A1C is. You have to know where are to figure out how to get to where you want to go.

Take each of your meds at the same exact time every day. Carry extras in your purse in case you forget and are already on your way to work.

Test at the same times. Waking up, going to bed, before eating and two hours after. Aim for a reasonable level of blood sugar and correct each time to get it there. Eventually, aim for 100, but maybe not at first.

Cut your carbs. 100 a day or less if you are active and not overweight. Lower if you are less active. You can adjust them up or down as you go to find the correct number for you.

Carry a tiny test kit and glucose tabs everywhere. Insulin too, if you are away from home during the day. Refill things often and replace your folded kleenex in the kit so you don't gross people out. (Sorry, I always forget to do that. :T )

Don't sweat small ups and downs. Just aim for your target each time. I don't recall if you have a pump. Would it help convenience-wise?

Take a walk--even around the block--once a day. Go farther if you have ime. Heck, two blocks or even more. It clears your head and makes your insulin work better.

Does an over the counter analgesic help with the pain at night? If so, take it before bed. If not, ask your doc what will help if you have signs of nerve damage. You can reverse it by being in control, but it may take a while. If you have alcohol at dinner time, try being all finished with it a few hours before going to bed, it may help you to get to sleep and stay that way.

Post often here. Let us know of your progress. PM me if you have any questions you'd rather not post.

Giving up is not an option. Get in control and you will feel soooo much better. It's worth the effort. You've got a lot of amazing times ahead of you.

Here's a hug,

Mich

[GeishaGirl]

My husband, who was Type 1, took amitriptyline, which is also an antidepressant, but there are newer medications that are specifically for neuropathy.)

Good luck!

I'm currently on that for, shall we say, "other" nerve pain not from diabetes (let's just say that nerves that were SUPPOSED to be pleasure-center nerves assigned themselves as pain nerves. Hubby was NOT happy!). It works pretty well -- didn't fix the whole issue, but it helped me sleep at night, and it helped (or the full nights of sleep helped!) a mild depression I didn't even know I had. It's worth a call.

[Cesca]

Well Jackie,

You're too tired and a bit depressed. It has happened to every single diabetic except the ones who are lying about it.

Your body does get used to being high, by the way and it feels normal. When you get your sugar down a bit, it feels like it's too low. Your pain is directly due to being too high, and will lighten up as soon as you start to level out at a lower plane.

In my opinion, the key to it all is to get into a routine. When I was your age, it was the LAST thing I wanted to do, it looked like a boring way to live. Now I know better. By getting into a routine, you don;t have to think so much about your diabetes, things become second nature and you can think about the things in life that really matter.

Here are some suggestions from me to you. They are heartfelt because I know exactly how you feel.

Get the info from your new doc. Know where your A1C is. You have to know where are to figure out how to get to where you want to go.

Take each of your meds at the same exact time every day. Carry extras in your purse in case you forget and are already on your way to work.

Test at the same times. Waking up, going to bed, before eating and two hours after. Aim for a reasonable level of blood sugar and correct each time to get it there. Eventually, aim for 100, but maybe not at first.

Cut your carbs. 100 a day or less if you are active and not overweight. Lower if you are less active. You can adjust them up or down as you go to find the correct number for you.

Carry a tiny test kit and glucose tabs everywhere. Insulin too, if you are away from home during the day. Refill things often and replace your folded kleenex in the kit so you don't gross people out. (Sorry, I always forget to do that. :T )

Don't sweat small ups and downs. Just aim for your target each time. I don't recall if you have a pump. Would it help convenience-wise?

Take a walk--even around the block--once a day. Go farther if you have ime. Heck, two blocks or even more. It clears your head and makes your insulin work better.

Does an over the counter analgesic help with the pain at night? If so, take it before bed. If not, ask your doc what will help if you have signs of nerve damage. You can reverse it by being in control, but it may take a while. If you have alcohol at dinner time, try being all finished with it a few hours before going to bed, it may help you to get to sleep and stay that way.

Post often here. Let us know of your progress. PM me if you have any questions you'd rather not post.

Giving up is not an option. Get in control and you will feel soooo much better. It's worth the effort. You've got a lot of amazing times ahead of you.

Here's a hug,

Mich

ita!!! wow thats awesome advice! but to the o.p I feel the same way, for about a couple of weeks I started checking my blood sugar to try to get it back on track, because yes, I am a fellow bad diabetic (in fact I think I'm a horrible diabetic, but I'm trying to change that) and today I get a call from the doc telling me my A1C is the highest its ever been! Thats why I joined this forum, and am starting to take this disease seriously. Just hang in there your def not alone, it will get better!

[rzrbks]

First, I'm gonna say "Please get off your back and quit picking on yourself."

Next, carefully read what Cesca says again and let it slide into your brain.

Then, realize that the past is truly that "Past" and that you're going to allow you to become better.

Pick o-n-e small thing to change and be comforted in changing that one small thing. Then, after a day or two when you see that changing that one small thing didn't hurt, change one more small thing.

This is going to be a process that takes time but if you believe you can change the small things, the bigger changes will come easier.

Take pride in each new and better thing you allow yourself to do.

[Gordonm]

35 years ago I was 11 also and got this terrible news of diabetes. There was not much in the way of testing or keeping it in control. I did not really have it under control until my late 20s. I have to say since then I have been very hard at work with it and it works. Giving up was not an option. As they say I want to dance at my daughters wedding and maybe even my grandaughter. Persistance pays off. You can't go back and fix wha thas already happened. Tomorrow is a new day and a fresh start. Look forward not backwards to wha tyou can do to help yourself and don't beat yourself up on what has been done. Nothing you can do about it. Keep at it.

[lorilei]

Hi JM...sorry your feeling the blast from the D...hang in there, i truley hope you feel better mentally and physically soon..


everyone above who has mentioned the importance of walking/exercise is absolutely right when it comes to our nerves...( i recall this from a course we took on neorpathy in older diabetics....er, um ppl with D)

also, if your doc won't prescribe some type of neurontin, i think cvs might sell something over the counter...mind you i have NO personal experience with how good it works, but i bet others do...might want to do a search on this forum, or post a new thread specifically identifying your issue of nerve pain..

[InCogNeato]

We all feel like giving up at times -- even people who don't have a disease! But, we gotta hang in..... we gotta keep a postive attitude and we MUST live healthy.

I just got word this week my cousin's kidneys are failing and he will undergo dialisis and be put on a list for a transplant. He didnt' take care of himself. He's paying the price now.

We have alternatives. And, I'd rather be alive dealing with everyday woes than practice unhealthy routines and suffer.

Keep your chin up! Don't give up!

You are NOT alone!

[marianne c]

jackimariee, Hi, I know you are in the right place. I've found so much help and support here in just a couple of weeks.
My Podiatrist gives me a prescription called METANX (pronounced met'- a-nex) It is a high complex of B vitamins and folates. THIS WORKS for my neuropathy. My hair also came back in after taking it for awhile.
I've been on it for at least a year, so I know it's out there!
It is OK to be down sometimes; and, it feels so good when you come back up!

[dotheirish55]

ita!!! wow thats awesome advice! but to the o.p I feel the same way, for about a couple of weeks I started checking my blood sugar to try to get it back on track, because yes, I am a fellow bad diabetic (in fact I think I'm a horrible diabetic, but I'm trying to change that) and today I get a call from the doc telling me my A1C is the highest its ever been! Thats why I joined this forum, and am starting to take this disease seriously. Just hang in there your def not alone, it will get better!

back to back to back 8.3+ A1Cs and a hospital visit. I think im president of the bad diabetes club. Diabetes blows and Ive felt the way you have for 2 years... I'm 15 and have had the disease for 10 years.

[dr.sweet]

im really sorry for what u r feeling but guess what , everybody feels this feeling in any situation and the best one who never gives up so don't give up !! its ur health and u need ur health 2 do many things . So i would suggest u to start having some faith in ur self and remember this " U CAN DO IT " i think that the pain is coming from less exercising or the type of food ur eating .

[1st_rate_mate]

We are much the same and your feelings are quite normal.

Keep in mind that the pathophysiology left untreated is death. If you suffer as do I from severe neuripathy then you realize this is an agonizing path.

I am reminded that Christ suffered; died and was buried in one day. There is no way he understood THIS human condition.

I understand Switzerland offers euthinasia for about $5000. PN is reprtedly a qualifying condition. This is my plan prior to amputations and or renal failure.

jb

[tk4454]

being diabetic sucks, im takeing a different aproach to it, recently i was prescribed kidney medice and blood pressure medicine, im not in denile about takeing it, but im trying other aproaches like excercise, stopping smokeing, no more diet soda, if the tests dont have better results in a few months i guess ill take the meds im prescribed, but i fugre ive been takeing 4 shots a day for 15 years so i deffenately havent given up. and i think alot of the complications i have comeing i did to myself by drinking alchahol and 12 packs of diet soda and not excercing in addition to smoking, kick the bad habbits!

[Mkay0626]

I know exactly where you are.... DONT GIVE UP...
GOD NEVER GIVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE!!!
i know its hard you feel like its never gonna get better..
but it will.:D

[karen maguire]

aw hon, my heart goes out to you, i was going to give advice but after reading all your replies i dont need to, i only joined this forum 3 days ago and im overwhelmed at how nice and helpful everyone is, everyone here more or less went through what u are going through now including me, im 25, and diabetic 4 years and i am brutal at looking after it, 4 episodes of ketoacidosis, in intensive care and a broken hip still hadn't helped me accept my diabetes..now reading everyones story here and realising im not alone makes me determined to look after myself through other peoples experiences and advice here, i tried to do it alone from day one, trying to be miss tough and independent...suppose there is no shame in asking for help and guidance..please try and be positive and i promise i will try too xxx;)

[PrettynPurple]

does giving up only pertain to food? cause i feel like giving up a lot of things right now, I am at this moment contemplating calling in sick tomorrow cause all i want to do in stay in bed and cry

[CountYourselfIn]

I gotta agree, quit being hard on yourself. What you've done doesn't matter now... what you're doing and going todo counts. = )

I get the same cold toes, and have had some of those legs pains too when I started to really tightly control my BG. It goes away. But, you def need to see your doc about.

Exercise might help, by getting the blood flowing to your feetsies and improved circulation might just be all it takes. It'll def help w/ the cold toes.