another one bites the dust

[yannah]

just got back from my eye exam....I have mild diabetic retnopathy both eyes and a cataract in my left eye.

as you know, since diagnosis last august, I have done everything humanly possible for this not to happen. There is nothing more I could have done.

I am so depressed right now as I sit here typing in sunglasses.
I am so bumbed out. I feel completly wiped out. I feel completlely depressed. I feel like I have lost. defeated. scared

I feel so depressed. beaten. and hopeless.

[foxl]

Oh, Yannah, I am so sorrry. (((HUGS)))

That just sucks.

I just was telling my Dentist my next big thing is my ophtho appt.

My brother just had sudden-onset cataracts -- bilateral -- at 56. He had the surgeries and said they really were not bad, at least. And his vision was almsot instantly better.

Hopefully the retinopathy will stabilize, it CAN.

Hang in there and I hope you feel better soon.

[yannah]

thanks, could have been worse I guess. Things could be worse.

[Mom22weewuns]

I'm new here to the board. I have no words of wisdom, just a huge (((hug))).

Ellie

[yannah]

welcome to DF. it is a great place. all my friends are here.

and thanks for the hug.

[Delphinus]

just got back from my eye exam....I have mild diabetic retnopathy both eyes and a cataract in my left eye.

as you know, since diagnosis last august, I have done everything humanly possible for this not to happen. There is nothing more I could have done.

I am so depressed right now as I sit here typing in sunglasses.
I am so bumbed out. I feel completly wiped out. I feel completlely depressed. I feel like I have lost. defeated. scared

I feel so depressed. beaten. and hopeless.


Eek.

Don't be defeatist. :(

I know I have felt that way many times about certain things...

Is it progressing? How fast if so?

[lorilei]

yannah I totally get u..my journey has also met a bump in the road this week...good thing we are stong ppl with fabulous support...let me know if you need a good cry

[Annabell1959]

Yannah you've been nothing but supportive to all of us here....especially us newbies. Another BIG hug headed your way!

[yannah]

okay, well there is a bright side. the retinopathy apparently can be controlled or improved and apparently isn't alarming or bad.
I don't know, I was in some kind coma/stuper. all i really know is I have to go back in 3 months and that the cateract was the big deal - why is that? I know nothing about retnopathy. am i going blind from that? do I need surgery for that? the cataract he said I will need surgery for eventually but that it isn't that 'cloudy" or something, and isn't interfering with vision right now. so what we do nothing right now? he said the catarct won't improve with glucose control. but may not get worse for a long time with glucose control?

so what does this mean? am i to do nothing right now?

I didn't ask one question. just said okay.

[yannah]

my poor PCP, i am just going to call him in the morning. he the only one of all my health team that I listen to or trust.

[jps]

Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight Yannah. You've done so much in a short time, don't let this get you down too much. It's just another challenge along the way that you must face. Don't let it weaken you, get stronger and fight even harder.

[yannah]

yannah I totally get u..my journey has also met a bump in the road this week...good thing we are stong ppl with fabulous support...let me know if you need a good cry

whats wrong???? I am a whiney baby right now, I can see, i am fine. i hope you are okay. what happened? I will be fine.

[yannah]

Yannah you've been nothing but supportive to all of us here....especially us newbies. Another BIG hug headed your way!

awweeee.. thank you honey bunny! don't let this story scare you. I will be fine.

[yannah]

Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight Yannah. You've done so much in a short time, don't let this get you down too much. It's just another challenge along the way that you must face. Don't let it weaken you, get stronger and fight even harder.

yeah, as I am typing out loud, I am realizing it is fine. i don't even know whats up. I listened to nothing. just sat there freaking out after the word cataract surgery. yeap don't know anything after that.

cataract surgery, big deal. happens everyday.

I will keep fighting the good fight!!!

[Kanga]

Good to read through this thread and see you are being positive. Diabetes is so full of challenges and to be honest I never thought I had the inner strength to fight this like I do..... keep fighting and stay positive it is the only way :)

[adiantum]

Yannah you are a survivor.
It can be a rough journey at times but even these have positives hidden amongst them.
Just think of all the Df family with so many hugs & best wishes, all just for you.

[mrhodes]

I'm so sorry...but it's not the end. I was reading up on the treatment, etc. You can overcome this as well!!! I have to go to the optho on May 1 and I'm scared $Hi%less.

[AngelKitty]

Hi Yannah,
Poor luv, you're having a rough time of it lately, wasn't it just the other week you had your surgery? It never rains it pours! Glad to hear you're staying strong - and fighting on! :fight:

[Delphinus]

To add.

If ya ever need an eye, shout.

Take your pick of color to.

My right eye is blue, and my left eye is brown. :D

[AngelKitty]

To add.

If ya ever need an eye, shout.

Take your pick of color to.

My right eye is blue, and my left eye is brown. :D

Cool! :cool: You've got the David Bowie thing going on ;)

There you go Yannah, that's a very generous offer from Jason, you can pick whichever eye goes best with your outfit! :laugh:

[Ategeler]

So sorry to hear about your eyes. It can be so scary to find out something is wrong with one of your senses! Hang in there!

[Psycho Penguin]

yannah I just got back from the eye doctor, it turns out my left eye is nearly blind from big cataracts.. so I know what you're going through.. but it can be fixed via a simple surgery so things will be okay =)

[Patient254]

Hugs and prayers for you

[Mich]

Hey Yanna, Penguin, Jason who is a funny guy and all of you worrying about your sight/eyes.

Take it from someone with experience, they are pretty good at averting disaster these days. My GGMother was nearly blind, saw only shadowns. Now they have treatments, experimental and otherwise to fix many eye problems. I've had three virectomies and still drive, read and paint pictures. I had a lens replaced in my right eye. The beautiful colors that had become dulled over the years were back!

My friend Shirley has wet macular degeneration. A treatment every three months has allowed her to continue seeing.
And well, too.

It's not the end. It's the beginning of the next successful part of your life. Be brave, they know how to make it painless, quick and efficient these days.

Get treated. Move on. Hugs to all of you who are worrying. You're worrying is too much for the problem at hand. Find a good opthomologist or retinologist and build a relationship

Mich

[mraymond]

Yannah,

The cataracts are very likely slow growing. It took several years for mine to get to the point I needed to get them removed. The surgery was simple, quick and painless. As for the retinopathy, my eye doctor said that if I kept my sugar levels under tight control for 2.5 years, chances are it would go away. I hope your prognosis is this good. Anyway, good luck with it.

mary

[Delphinus]

I hope me injecting some light hearted humor was ok.

I mean what else can ya do?

I hope, Yannah, you cracked a smile, or at least think me a loon. :T

Take care...

[Mich]

I think it was perfect, Jason. A little humor always helps.

Ol' brown eyes

[mzteacher]

yannah,
i am so very sorry to hear of your news....this can all be so very scary...i am sending good thoughts your way...the woman who gave me my eye test suggested eye vitamins with luetin...you may want to check with your dr.....
mich...thanks for your positive input...i know i appreciated it!!
good luck yannah...
susan

[yannah]

To add.

If ya ever need an eye, shout.

Take your pick of color to.

My right eye is blue, and my left eye is brown. :D

thanks, I am looking for a green one.;)

[yannah]

So sorry to hear about your eyes. It can be so scary to find out something is wrong with one of your senses! Hang in there!

yeap, it is. I went in and out of major panic all night last night.
poop.

[yannah]

Hi Yannah,
Poor luv, you're having a rough time of it lately, wasn't it just the other week you had your surgery? It never rains it pours! Glad to hear you're staying strong - and fighting on! :fight:

yeah, wounds on my toes, sinus infection ear infection and eye damage, and of course the yeast infection that goes with my antibiotic.

[Jan B]

Sweetheart -- you are a GOOD woman and so REAL. One day soon I hope, you won't have all that mess to deal with.

I had an eye appt a couple days ago. The news isn't bad, but I have 3 little places in my left eye that need to be watched closely. (They have grown a bit in the last year.) The pictures are so incredible these days -- damage can be seen a lot sooner than in years past. I have a little zapping to look forward to in my future. But, primarily because of my friends on DF, I won't feel alone at all in that "challenge".

Sending you kind and happy thoughts . . .

[yannah]

Yannah you are a survivor.
It can be a rough journey at times but even these have positives hidden amongst them.
Just think of all the Df family with so many hugs & best wishes, all just for you.

well, you see, about 1 year ago at this time I was a suicidal mess, such a mess that in 06 the state of Maine blue papered me, which means the state forced me into a phychiatric hospital against my will. I couldn't work or function. tons of fun. I od'd twice between 05 and 08. So my husband left me in 08 and I had no money and no job, so I had to leave my home and move to Ohio to live with a friend. away from my husband of 23 years, and my 2 kids. I took one of the dogs with me and he died a horrible death 3 months after I got here.
I went on disability. and the is the short version of that story.

so it is easy for me to remember I am lucky right now. Although my friend dragged mu butt to the doctor a few months after I got here (I had major health **** going on that had been going on for months) my toenails were wicked ingrown on three toes, for months, didn't go to the doctor although it hurt to walk, chronic diarhea I couldn't even control with ammodium, slept non stop, had gained 70 lbs in a short time, eye sight was for ****, etc... so she went to my doctor and she listed her concerns and her just looked at me, took some blood and told me my blood sugar was like 360 something. I went to the hospital with an abnormal EKG spent 3 days there. my liver enzymes were high, fatty liver disease,
my gall baldder a freakin wreck, etc... and so I figured -here I am a crazy enemployed disaster who was now dying. which was okay with me at the time.

but last august I began smiling sometimes and feeling happy at times. mainly because of my friend. she worked so hard at making me smile. She basically saved my life. and I had been in love with her for about 17 years, so I suddenly realized, despite the disaster I had become that she loved me. love is a transforming thing that was without for a long time. I mean really my x never took me to the doctor or went to a doctor with me or even ever called my shrink. I was alone and felt totally worthless. ( I love to tell different versions of this story!) anyway, my friend kissed me and wanted me despite all that. so one day I logged into DF and I found all these kick a ss people who were trying to take care of their health. within two months I knew all about diabetes and how to control it, so I did. (specail thanks to Frank) and here I am 9 months later and all I have is some minor fixable eye damage.
If I had stayed in Maine, one way or another, i would be dead by now. So like I tell my daughter, "you did not loose me when i left, you got me back". and I work part time now. and I lost 79 lbs. on fridays I get all dressed up and go out with my now girlfriend. I sit at a table in a resteraunt and gaze at her all night. just sit and stare at her. just stare struck and amazed at how lucky i am. (it is Friday today). So the first thing I thought at the idea of eye damage is I won't be able to do that. she said it won't matter because it will just give me more reasons to feel her up. and she says she will have to oblige because I can't see. So i will get some whenever I want! cool!!

so I am lucky, my son was just here and he was accepted to the university of northern Illinois for graduate school, he will live 5 hours from me next year! hurray!

and after all I am not one of those people with diabetes that just go blind. I went to the opthamologist not because it was time, not because I couldn't see. I went because I kept feeling the need to rub my left eye, on on a couple of occasions it looked like I was looking through a drip on my left eye. if I rubbed it it would go back to normal. but I went to the doctor, cuz I am informed. I caught everything early, and at worst i will need cataract surgery. So all my hard work at keeping one step ahead of D is not lost. I personally know someone who is blind from D. and I am lucky.

so I am lucky.


The END.

[mrhodes]

Yannah,

What a Triumphant story!!! Thanks for sharing it.

It reminds me of a song where the singer says...

"If you're going through ****, keep on going. Don't slow down, keep on rolling. You might get out before the devil even knows your there."

Congrats on the new life & you WILL beat this eye problem as well.

[yannah]

yeah, the whole story is a book and even better. I love this story. anyway. yeap, life is funny. I would have never guessed my life would be happy again. that I would function ever again. and I am both those things. and a little eye **** is nothing in the big picture. it just took me a couple hours after the eye exam to remember that.

[xMenace]

Yanna and everyone else: this kind of news is to be expected at some point even with ideal control, but it's NOT a sudden deterioration. It's alot like type 2 diabetes, it progresses over many years [at unpredicatable rates of course].


Hey Yanna, Penguin, Jason who is a funny guy and all of you worrying about your sight/eyes.

Take it from someone with experience, they are pretty good at averting disaster these days. My GGMother was nearly blind, saw only shadowns. Now they have treatments, experimental and otherwise to fix many eye problems. I've had three virectomies and still drive, read and paint pictures. I had a lens replaced in my right eye. The beautiful colors that had become dulled over the years were back!

My friend Shirley has wet macular degeneration. A treatment every three months has allowed her to continue seeing.
And well, too.

It's not the end. It's the beginning of the next successful part of your life. Be brave, they know how to make it painless, quick and efficient these days.

Get treated. Move on. Hugs to all of you who are worrying. You're worrying is too much for the problem at hand. Find a good opthomologist or retinologist and build a relationship

Mich

I suppose you could put things on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being perfect, undamaged retinas and 10 being eyeless [that's eyeless, not blind]. There has been a 10 participating on DF. I'll call 9 legally blind and 8 severly impared.

Mich, I and at least a few others on here are 6's, 7's, & even 8's. We're on the cusp of becoming severely impaired or even legally blind. One more bleed ... maybe 6 or 7?

I've had an estimated 13 laser sessions with well over 3,000 zaps and a vitrectomy. My left eye's peripheral vision is reduced about 33%, my right about 10%. My activities are not restricted by this, except I can't catch a baseball safely anymore. Definately not a high fly. And most certainly not at night. I was diagnosed with proliferative retinopathy 15 years ago.

I'll put mild retinopathy at a 3 or 4 and diagnosis of proliferative retinopathy at a 5 or 6.

A low A1C is definately a must but so are [IMO] a few other things: low BP, high Omega 3's and low Omega 6's, weight control, regular physical activity, and most importantly NO SMOKING!.

[yannah]

I didn't really get that post, being simple minded as I am.

except i get the part where this is a slow progression with even good control, this will probably happen. I got those 2 things.

and I am sorry to hear about your eyes, although happy to hear you are able to stay on top of it, it sounds.

no matter how optimistic I feel right now, I still know diabetes sucks.

[Jan B]

I love John's post.

Yannah - even if you are simple-minded (which you are not), you are just fine the way you are. Your honesty warms my heart. I know I'm pretty simple-minded too and starting to feel stupid because I am so tired!

[yannah]

maybe i get the post, ...i am not at all saying you can't take perfect control and go blind. i know that. just trying not to think of that right now.

but the person i know that is blind, did not take care of D, she did not go to her regular appts, until it was just all too late.
and that is not my plan.

[ant hill]

Hello yannah, This is indeed sad and there is some good news too. Gee it must be scary as I try to keep my sanity together. I have also have a bad eyes too as my right eye is like looking at a glass onion as I can see in good light but no detail in it.
My heart goes to you and hope that you feel better in the near future. :):o

http://www.global-b2b-network.com/direct/dbimage/50322257/Sun_Flowers.jpg
I hope you can see this as I hold your heart with love.
Please have a smile, You should be OK. :D

[lorilei]

yannah, your story made me weep...john, yours did too, but for different reasons...wish i had read them in reverse...

[ant hill]

Hello yannah, This is indeed sad and there is some good news too. Gee it must be scary as I try to keep my sanity together. I have also have a bad eyes too as my right eye is like looking at a glass onion as I can see in good light but no detail in it.
My heart goes to you and hope that you feel better in the near future. :):o

http://www.global-b2b-network.com/direct/dbimage/50322257/Sun_Flowers.jpg
I hope you can see this as I hold your heart with love.
Please have a smile, You should be OK. :D

[yannah]

Jan- Your real too!!!! I love you! lets go to Vegas...:)

anthill- did I make you nuts in this thread? Yeah, i am good at that. ((((kiss on your eyelid))))

[dotheirish55]

Hey... I'm kind of where you were right now. I've been sick since october... my diabetes has been ****ed up for 3 years i just dont know. But reading your story has helped alot even though losing my eyes is one of my biggest fears. People say im a strong person but diabetes feel like a losing battle. I always try to remember however, "Don't pray for an easier life, pray to be a stronger man."

Please stay strong and hold on... For all of us

[techgirl2000]

Hi Yannah, pls stay strong.

I was diagnosed yesterday with Proliferative Retinopathy on both eyes and have scheduled for laser treatment on 1 eye next Tuesday. I will arrange for another laser treatment on the other eye soon.

I'm seriously freaking out now.

[yannah]

Hi hon,

I am not freaking out anymore. Can't control it. Can only do what I can do. Diabetes sucks ***.

Please Pm me anytime you want. let me know how it goes. keep me posted.

xoxoxoxoxo.

-Kelli

[Jacque]

Bonjour Yannah, just dropping by to send smiles and loves.

... and words of support and encouragement.