Fml.

[zelack]

I'm in recovery from an ED. My parents withdrew me from my dream school because I couldn't get adequate help for my diabetes up there. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year. I feel guilty and responsible for everything wrong, mostly because my issues put him through a lot of worrying. My blood sugars, formerly very well-controlled, are now swinging between 80 and 250 so I feel even worse than I need to. I'm taking way more Humalog than I'm comfortable with and subsequently am restricting all my carbs, which will probably trigger a relapse into anorexia. I am so stressed and fed up with my life that I'm about to just give up; I'm in therapy but nothing tells me anything besides that I'm a failure. This year, I've just kept falling lower and lower; I barely get a break before something else happens. By the time I finish this post, my parents will probably be dead for no apparent reason.

I want my blood sugars to at least be good but I can't get them under control because I cry all the time. I just don't know what to do.

[xMenace]

Getting BGs under control is very tough for most but especially for teenagers. Most of us that went through the teens had awful BGs. It's not you!

Perhaps a good exercise is to pick a standard set of meals and stick with them for a few weeks. Slowly adjust your basals and boluses until your numbers start working out better. Also you should work with your doctor on this, preferrably an endocrinologist.

Many here are more than willing to help you.

[howdysf]

80-250 doesn't really seem that extreme... are you type one? Daily I swing between 55 and 270... I definitely feel exercise to be really key in keeping sugar down and insulin requirements...good luck

[zoelula]

Hi Zelack

I definitely know where you're coming from. I had 13 years of recovery when I was diagnosed with diabetes and I was grateful for every day of it because controlling diabetes brings up a lot of issues I thought I'd resolved. I was very comfortable with both my weight and my food and suddenly I have to "obsess" about food again? It's a hard balance to find.

It sounds like you have a lot of things going on in your life and they all impact each other. Being a teenager is hard without all the rest. Looks like you have some good advice on this thread. The thing I want to say most to you is: You are NOT a failure!Diabetes is not your fault. Having an ED is not your fault. There are no grades to a life and you are not failing!

Diabetes can be tough to get under control. Take it slow. Don't panic. My suggestion (I know there are some people on this board that disagree) is NOT to totally restrict carbs; it's too extreme and especially for someone with an ED. Inch away at your numbers and work closely with your endo.

One last comment. Do you feel good about the therapist you are working with? Therapy does take time but little by little it should help you feel better about yourself. If you don't feel you are getting the support you need, perhaps you should consider a new therapist.

Hang in there. If you want to talk more about the ED/diabetes thing, don't hesitate to PM me.
Zoe

[howdysf]

what is ED?.......

[zoelula]

Eating Disorder.

[jshuffle]

Zelack, everything will be alright, and we will be honored to help with anything you need.

Can we get some basic info from you:
What insulin(s) are you on, and what doses?
Do you have a pump?
How many times do you test per day?

[zelack]

I'm on a pump, take Humalog and 10 units of Symlin/3x per day; I have 21 units in basals for the Humalog and generally use another seven or eight to cover meals and snacks. My I:C ratio is 1:17 (random but it works well).

The stress is just throwing me off completely--high one minute at the drop of a hat, and requiring sometimes way more insulin to bring it back down and other times less than I'd normally anticipcate. I'm still doing exercise and eating much lower carb (around 100 a day, which my ED doctor was very against but I'm scared of taking more insulin and gaining weight), so I'm just so confused.

It's bad enough dealing with break-ups without the diabetes--I can't even cry without it being 10 times worse on me physically. I hate this.

[jshuffle]

I don't know if this will help any, but you are taking less than half the amount of insulin that I am taking.

I have 49 u in basals, and my bolus rates are 1:5 in the morning and 1:8 in the afternoons and evenings.