Ugh...

[peaceANDhope]

okay, so, my parents always like to go on to tell me how they understand its not fair whenever i tell them i dont want to get tested every hour and call them when im out with friends. they go on about how im going to ruin my body and i have to be careful. they say they understand, but they dont. am i the only one with parents like this? i just want to feel normal when im out, you know? how do i get my parents to understand this, when ive tried to explain b4......?

[xMenace]

Well if your A1C was 6.9 instead of 9.6, they might trust you more. ;) Eh?

Welcome to the forum.

[Ohana]

I am NOT going to say you are only 14... okay?... age plays a part, but I am going to assume you are a mature young teen who is complaining because they feel ready to manage their diabetes on their own.. Not because you are just whining about your parents' control over you and what you should be doing...

With that out of the way... Why do you check every hour, how is your control regardless of your A1c? Do you fluctuate a lot?

Do you know why your parents make you call them? Is it to tell them test results? or is it to make sure you are still alive?

If they want to know the test results, can you work a deal where you will only call them if your blood sugar gets out of a certain range, and they can see the meter results when you get home? (to verify your testing and reporting skills)

I am sure they don't understand. NO parent of a 14yr old understands... at least FULLY understands. It isn't their job to understand, it is their job to keep you alive, healthy and turn you into a respectable adult.

You need to understand that, and then show them that you are maturing and ready for this responsibility. That may mean really taking control of your blood sugar. Keeping fastidious logging and letting your parents verify by looking at your meter readings.

Please understand me when I say this isn't going to be easy even if you had the coolest most "understanding" parents ever. Being a teen is tough, being a teen with diabetes must be even more tough I would assume.

Treat your diabetic care like you would any other responsibility you assume with age. Your parents are used to controlling your diabetes for you. It must be scary for them to realize you are old enough to take the reigns yourself. Make it easier on you and them by SHOWING them openly that you can and will properly manage and they will start to see that they can trust you.

:)

[GeishaGirl]

Kinda have to agree with XMenace -- your a1c shows that you're not in control of your condition at all, which means that help is required. I know that, at your age, control is VERY difficult -- insulin is just a hormone, and the shifting hormones are screwing everything up for you right now.

Are you on a pump or MDI? Being on a pump might make your parents -- and you -- feel better. If puts you more in control of your insulin input, which makes the glucose output easier to deal with. You can correct without an additional shot.

We all understand, at least a little, around here. Frankly, I get annoyed when my husband tells me to test or asks me what my sugar is. I teach high school, and have had several diabetic students, and I can tell you that NO ONE saw them as abnormal. ALL parents are checking up on their kids for one reason or another. Think of it this way: Your parents have a LEGIT reason to want to check up on you, as opposed to just a nervous one :)

[patricia52]

As a parent and a grandparent, I can tell you that it is difficult to let go of a responsibility. I suggest that you try to demonstrate responsibility more often. Keep a log book of your BG and what you eat and exercise or other stress that affected the BG. Use that info to show them that you are actively controlling your BG by lowering that A1C. If you do a better job than they did, then they will gladly let you take over that responsiblilty. It is a great responsiblility to take care of someone, but parents eventually let their children leave the nest by themselves. Try to be understanding of their feelings and work with them so they know you are growing into a responsible person. They will appreciate this and recognize it as maturity.

[foxl]

As a parent and a grandparent, I can tell you that it is difficult to let go of a responsibility. I suggest that you try to demonstrate responsibility more often. Keep a log book of your BG and what you eat and exercise or other stress that affected the BG. Use that info to show them that you are actively controlling your BG by lowering that A1C. If you do a better job than they did, then they will gladly let you take over that responsiblilty. It is a great responsiblility to take care of someone, but parents eventually let their children leave the nest by themselves. Try to be understanding of their feelings and work with them so they know you are growing into a responsible person. They will appreciate this and recognize it as maturity.

Great post, bears repeating!

[Tattoo azz]

I understand completely how you feel (as much as a bloke can understand how a girl feels lol), i was the same when i was a teen in the late eighties, i rebelled by not testing, not injecting how i should and not recording any results. My control went from very good between ages 7-12 to VERY bad between 13-20, and i'm still trying to get myself under control now and i'm nearly 35. You can still enjoy all the things your friends enjoy AND have control, all it takes is patience and a bit of honesty on your part to admit to your parents and Dr and yourself that you may need a little help. You don't need to test every hour, every 2-3 is more than enough. Get a meter that you can download the results to your pc, i know that recording every test result and every meal and injection is very very very very boring, but honestly it DOES help you your Dr and anyone else to know how evrything is going and how/where to correct or change doses. Have you been on any courses? have you any books? Lastly ask as many questions you like here, we all know what it's like. Good luck.
Azz

[peaceANDhope]

They dont care as much that my a1c is wacked out, but its also not that they dont trust me or something. They know ill check myself and everything after 10 years of it. And they definately know im trying to get my a1c wayyyy down. i think they just are in denial about my growing up. but i appreciate all the posts and hav taken what everyones said into consideration. Thankss.

[foxl]

So they are just expressing their worry ... ?

[xMenace]

They dont care as much that my a1c is wacked out, but its also not that they dont trust me or something. They know ill check myself and everything after 10 years of it. And they definately know im trying to get my a1c wayyyy down. i think they just are in denial about my growing up. but i appreciate all the posts and hav taken what everyones said into consideration. Thankss.

Being a parent is similar to the boiling frog syndrome (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boiling_frog). Your kids growing up really sneaks up on you. Your parents need reminding that you are a young adult and needed to be treated as such; likewise you probably need some reminding yourself of the same.

Communication! Tell your parents how you feel. They are adults. They can take it, or should be able to. Expect a bit of negotiation, and prepare to compromise. Prepare to draw some lines in the sand too. They will really respect you for it, or should. Going the common negative, rebellious route doesn't work well.

However you choose to handle this, we're with you ;)

[art]

You're 14. That's great and I mean that. It also sucks big time. As you're finding out.
It's not all about you being a diabetic you know. It's more about you starting to become independent. Breaking away in any form scares the **** out of Mom and Dad. Really
.
OK, so your A1c isn't the greatest. Part of it comes from trying to fit in with your friends. It's sure not cool to stick your finger and bleed while they watch.

When my daughter had her girl she asked me what it meant to be a parent. I told her it was being afraid all the time. Nothing scares a parent like the very thought of something bad happening to their child. And it's hard to realize a child is growing out of that need for protection.

So that's where they're coming from. Call it pure paronia.

How to get them off your back. Get your numbers under control. That's all. Once that's done you can tell them to slack off.

I'm a Gramps. I'm on your side. Really.

Art

[peaceANDhope]

My friends actually love learning about my diabetes. and im glad i posted this,cuz now i also c it from my parents perspective. thnxs so much.i just needed to vent a little.

[genie86333]

They know ill check myself and everything after 10 years of it.

They may *not* know that. I'm glad you feel that way, but there are kids your age who DON'T...even after 10 years of it. :) They just want to make sure you're not one of them.

Just remember that no matter what they're doing, it's because they love you, even if it doesn't always feel like it!

Glad to see you're feeling a bit better with some perspective & some venting. Sometimes that's what we all need.

[GeishaGirl]

My friends actually love learning about my diabetes. and im glad i posted this,cuz now i also c it from my parents perspective. thnxs so much.i just needed to vent a little.

You sound really mature for your age -- and from someone who teaches 9th-10th grade, that should actually count for something :)

It's no surprise that your friends are interested -- my students are always fascinated by my insulin pump and tester. By the end of a school year, they start to learn what the numbers mean :) And I never knew how prevalent diabetes was until I started sharing with my students -- 2 diabetic students of my own, 1 hypoglycemic student, and 3 students with diabetic siblings.

Come here to vent whenever you want :) And be sure to have a real, honest, sit-down talk with your parents. Maybe outline a few major points you want to discuss on an index card so you remember them all, and can bring them across intelligently. DO NOT get upset, no matter what they say -- nothing ruins "I'm maturing, and I want to take control of my condition" by losing your cool. If they won't budge, offer up a compromise -- continue "as is" for 3 months, maybe, and revisit the situation.

[Robanny]

I have to say you're definately not alone on that front. Parents worry so much about us, mostly because they can never fully understand themselves as they've never experienced what we're going through - so they nag and poke and prod and get on our nerves because they're desperate for us to take care of ourselves before it's too late. My parents are exactly the same, I got a lecture this evening as it happens.

I think the only way to get them off your back is to take action and get control of your diabetes. Once they see you're handling it on your own they'll definately lay off and stop worrying as much. I made that decision tonight, and came here, joined, and have started asking for help on how to control my blood sugars, etc.

I wish you the best of luck my dear (:

P.s
This was my first reply post! Feel honoured! :D

Robyn x