Blurting out "I'm Diabetic" in Starbucks

[dandy83]

I used to work at Starbucks. Now, I have a normal job, but I am a "regular" at the Starbucks near my work.

This morning, I went in and 'splurged' by adding a Sugar-Free syrup to my coffee. I think the Barista saw me ogling the pastries and drooling, and he asked if I wanted one. When I said no thanks, he chided me: "oh come on, live a little, you're so skinny! and your drink is so healthy!"

This is the kind of friendly teasing I loved to engage in when I was a Barista (that was before I was diagnosed).

I felt something boil up inside of me, and I just barked "I'm diabetic" at the poor boy, and all friendly banter ceased.



Does anyone else have stories like this? Sometimes I feel like I should just be able to say "I'm diabetic" without it being a conversation killer. Other times, I wish I could just bear the friendly temptations better without having to go there... but, man, I REALLY wanted one of those gooey cinnamon rolls today.

Advice? Thoughts? Similar stories?

[Subby]

Hey, I for one can't stand suggestive selling or banter like that. I think if someone starts bantering, they have to have the decency and responsibility to respond to a genuine issue if they set it off. He should have made you feel at ease, with some acceptance of your stress. There are many ways to give someone a friendly smile or mild apology for making you feel uncomfortable, hey, he could even have gotten forthright and practical and said something like "Hey that's cool, it's all your choice anyway, so if there is something you'd like, call out..." which is really what he should have been saying all along. Doesn't sound like any of that happened at all.

I find diabetes interesting, always have. (Yes, I'm a bit weird). So I sometimes mention it in a social situation, and often run into this frozen response situation. No way to say "hey, I wasn't waving a problem around... it's more a question of "isn't it strange?" to me". Nope, people are not geared to dealing with medical issues unless, I suspect from observation, you are advanced in the years and it becomes part of your own banter.

Ok, don't mean to ramble, the upshot is, it was not just you being out of place, it was this guy not responding to you as a human with (surprise) personal considerations. Try not to feel too bad about those situations. Chances are he just felt bad and didn't have the guts or experience to face up to you as a person, and put you both at ease.

[cinharding]

I had the same problem a few months back.

Was at a restaurant and ordered Diet soda. When I received it, it wasn't diet.

I called the waitress back to ask her to replace it and she said in a snotty tone, 'how do you know it's not diet?'...

I responded, loudly, ' because I've been drinking this sh** for the last 21 years!' :eek:

Needless to say, I got my diet soda very quickly.

[foxl]

I had the same problem a few months back.

Was at a restaurant and ordered Diet soda. When I received it, it wasn't diet.

I called the waitress back to ask her to replace it and she said in a snotty tone, 'how do you know it's not diet?'...

I responded, loudly, ' because I've been drinking this sh** for the last 21 years!' :eek:

Needless to say, I got my diet soda very quickly.

EXCELLENT.

I have been blurting recently at office parties. I have a coworker who always asks, now can you eat such and such (carbmonster nummy nums)? Like my answer will magically change ... and a D coworker who brings increasingly decadent goo to work and offers it to me ... and eats it herself.

I think we need to be heard and the little seductive waitperson and their "oh cmon, you know you want it," is not gonna play much longer! I know people who take pride in their ability to get others to "indulge," and NONE OF US, including unidentified or on-the-way-to-D people, needs that!

[dandy83]

Thanks Cindy and Subby.

You know, I like your take on things Subby. But, what honestly shook me about the situation is that I used to BE the Barista enganging in that banter. Granted, I think I could have followed through better than he had, but then again - I don't know.

His intent was friendly, harmless. Mine was out of pure anger (I really did bark it.) So, I imagine I caused my share of the awkardness.

But, I think I learned that I DO want to be able to talk about diabetes in public places and that I'd feel less inclined to snap every now and then if I just offered the information more freely up front. Does that make sense?

It's like I'm coming out of the closet all over again. HA.

[orange81bird]

I had the an incident at a local joint we visit frequently. First I ask for no bun (got it right) and a diet soda. Well needless to say it wasn't diet so I brought it back up to the counter and said that it wasn't diet and the person at the counter said "that's ok, drink it anyway". I responded with I can't and won't drink this because it's not what I asked for and I'm diabetic. The guy just gave me one of those looks and gave me the right soda.

[GeishaGirl]

John -- it sounds like you were more angry at either yourself, for being diabetic, or at the situation (you really couldn't have the pastry) rather than at the guy for bantering with you. No real harm there, honestly, as I agree with Subby about the obnoxious selling tactics.

I don't think I blurt, really. Most everyone around me knows I'm a diabetic, and I've never had a problem eating out

[e||ement]

i had a situation last weekend where i was at my mom's for dinner. my brother in law's sister was visiting, and she brought all of these wonderfully sinful baked goods (for instance, caramel pecan cheesecake squares...drool...:eek:).

i was feeling a little sorry for myself because i *really* wanted to have one...or two...or three. so instead i got up and made coffee and tea for everyone, and started to do the dishes.

my mom, being a mom, kept urging me to "relax" and "come and join us". at first, i just kept saying, "sure, i'll be there in a minute."

the urging became excessive though, and finally i snapped and said "there's just too much temptation at the table right now". i felt really bad...but i think my poor mom felt worse because she didn't realize i didn't really WANT to do the dishes, but would rather do that than be faced with trays full of goodies i shouldn't eat.

we all have our moments...!

[cyberus]

Just a point to ponder in regards to restaurant servers pushing stuff ("oh cmon, you know you want it")

Its their job, and in corporate (IE chains) environment they are REQUIRED to push certain things (appetizers and desserts are common because of the profit margin) and if their end of day sales report shows a low % of app and dessert sales (for instance) they get "talked to" about working harder to do so.

Now I'm not saying some aren't *too* pushy, some are, I've found myself a bit irritated on occasion when I go to another restaurant and I know whats going on :(

[yannah]

yeah, got a regular coke once and kinda flipped out for a minute.

poor server...

[Supermario]

Just a point to ponder in regards to restaurant servers pushing stuff ("oh cmon, you know you want it")

Its their job, and in corporate (IE chains) environment they are REQUIRED to push certain things (appetizers and desserts are common because of the profit margin) and if their end of day sales report shows a low % of app and dessert sales (for instance) they get "talked to" about working harder to do so.

Now I'm not saying some aren't *too* pushy, some are, I've found myself a bit irritated on occasion when I go to another restaurant and I know whats going on :(

Dead on, pal! I've worked in a number of food service establishments over the years and I've seen places that actually keep stats on the servers' ability to up-sell things like cheese on a pasta or chicken on a salad. The servers with the best numbers get the most profitable shifts and best sections (i.e. the bar on a Saturday night).To a point, we do have to chalk up their aggressiveness to them just trying to appease the boss and make a buck.

On the diet pop mix ups, I believe a few may be honest mistakes, but I've seen countless servers who just do what's easiest. If another server is using the diet pop fountain, they'll just go for regular because it's quicker. I've also seen them push the regular and diet Coke at the same time to fill a pitcher in half the time.

To the OP, I hear you on the mood killer that occurs when you announce your disease. I find people are more understanding and jovial when I just pat my belly and say I'm trying to watch my weight. I think I've had the D for too much of my life to understand how "regular" society perceives the disease so it's easier not to mention it. Plus, too often I've run into people who become judgmental and they figure I was just a sugar-sow as a kid and I gave myself my problems as much as a smoker who developed cancer.

[notme]

I guess I will add my pet peeve to this thread.

I have gone to many stores, restaurants and fast food places, just to get something to drink. I stand in the cafe looking into the drink cooler and I see, Pepsi, Sprite, Snapple, Energy drinks, Arizona tea, and the list goes on and on. Usually, the only choice I have is diet Pepsi or water. I wish sometimes I had a choice and not just one selection. I have said things in the past in frustration.

I go to parties or baby showers or wedding showers and many times there is nothing to drink without sugar. I usually will walk around with a glass of water. I refrain when I am in the company of friends. But........ I do feel like shouting a bit.

[EeyoreButterfly]

I hear you Nancy! I like having some kind of taste to my beverage, but point blank refuse to do diet sodas. They are nasty, play with my IBS, and I'm not convinced they are safe. These days I am drinking lots of iced tea. My work does not serve it backstage and after all day of drinking water sometines I want something else. I have made the mistake once or twice of reverting to old ways, but thankfully I just don't feel good when I drink regular soda so now I just drink water even though I want something more.

As for the "pushy servers": I have waitressed at three separate restaurants and all of them required suggestive selling. I sold a lot of desserts at my last restaurant because I would bring our dessert menu (with really great pics) and suggest my two favorites. I actually had other servers asking me how I was selling so many desserts because many weren't doing the suggestive selling we were required to. That being said, if they said no I never pushed the issue and I don't think people should, that's bad customer service. You have to respect the customers.

FWIW, I never purposely served regular instead of diet (actually can't recall a single time a guest said I got their drink wrong) or mixed it in pitchers just so it was easier. I have also never witnessed this behavior in any of the restaurants I have worked at. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I have never seen it myself.

[yannah]

oh I realize it was just a mistake the poor server made with the Coke.

but it had been a bad diabetes day.

[Supermario]

FWIW, I never purposely served regular instead of diet (actually can't recall a single time a guest said I got their drink wrong) or mixed it in pitchers just so it was easier. I have also never witnessed this behavior in any of the restaurants I have worked at. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I have never seen it myself.

I guess I sort of vilified servers with my comments. For sure, the majority of servers wouldn't intentionally make mistakes, but I have witnessed deliberate offenders. Most recently, my current place of employment has run out of the syrup mix for diet and simply connected a regular Pepsi to the Diet Pepsi line. This was a decision made by management... most servers didn't have even know they were serving the wrong pop! This was over the line in my books, so I played a silent battle with them, sneaking into the back to disconnect the "Diet Pepsi" every time they tried to pawn off the regular as Diet.

I also ran into this trick in a Mexican resort. The fountain dispenser said diet, but my BS said it wasn't. It was tough to tell because I was mixing with keylimes and rum, but when I tested it was obvious what the issue was.

I just read the OP's posting again... I think we got of topic a little:D Sorry OP!

[xMenace]

Does anyone else have stories like this?

Yes, but they didn't live to tell about it.

[genie86333]

I've found it's just easiest if they start getting pushy (even if it's the playful banter) to just say that I'm diabetic. Shuts 'em up every time, even though I'm nice about it. They're just doing their job, but usually know better than pushing when the person has given a valid medical reason for them to stop.

As for soda choices in restaurants (or even cold bottled drinks in convenience stores) I'm constantly annoyed by the fact that usually the only diet choice is a cola. Sometimes, I'll find a 20 oz caffeine free diet soda in a convenience store refrigerated section, but no 1 Liters. I usually carry around a 2 liter of caffeine free diet soda in the trunk of my car & just drink it warm rather than get something with caffeine.

[Maying]

Haha, I still work at Starbucks. :cool:

This is kind of the same experience in reverse; we have some baristas that really just don't give a poo about the customers. One who I know is a diabetic (and a professor of mine) came in and ordered a soy sugar free hazelnut latte. You know how it is, the bottle's empty, and there's the regular syrup sitting right there. I was the shift today and had to make the barista make the drink again because I know he didn't use SF.

Being dx'd makes you a lot more aware of these things. haha.

[dbaratta]

I used to work at Starbucks. Now, I have a normal job, but I am a "regular" at the Starbucks near my work.

This morning, I went in and 'splurged' by adding a Sugar-Free syrup to my coffee. I think the Barista saw me ogling the pastries and drooling, and he asked if I wanted one. When I said no thanks, he chided me: "oh come on, live a little, you're so skinny! and your drink is so healthy!"

This is the kind of friendly teasing I loved to engage in when I was a Barista (that was before I was diagnosed).

I felt something boil up inside of me, and I just barked "I'm diabetic" at the poor boy, and all friendly banter ceased.



Does anyone else have stories like this? Sometimes I feel like I should just be able to say "I'm diabetic" without it being a conversation killer. Other times, I wish I could just bear the friendly temptations better without having to go there... but, man, I REALLY wanted one of those gooey cinnamon rolls today.

Advice? Thoughts? Similar stories?
Happens all the time. Even with my family, STILL! They just don't get it. No mom, I can't eat that cake. So she trys to give me pie, or she brings out a big container of mints. In public or work when people keep bugging me a lot of times I just say I am dieting. I get tired of talking about diabetes with people who really don't understand.

[Mich]

Hi John,

I blurt out things like: "I have diabetes, so I have to figure things pretty closely." or (among people I know) "Geez, that woud cost me a half bottle of insulin."

I try to mention diabetes as just another fact of life as often as I can. I think that's the only way we'll ever change attitudes. Diabetes is nothing to be ashamed of and the general public needs to know that too.

You hear people say "I'm trying to lower my triglycerides." or "Chocolate makes me sneeze." Why not "I'm trying to lay off the carbs." as a valid comment. You'd only need to mention the diabetes if someone seems to be interested in the WHY of your choice.
It's not us. It's THEM that need the attitude change.;)

Mich

[art]

Most of the time I enjoy the banter.
It's fun and good natured.
If the counter commando gets pushy, especially about replacing a real coke with diet, I just tell them to call 911 now so I don't have to wait later.

Gotta have a little fun now and then.

Art

[Granny Shanny]

Most of the time I enjoy the banter.
It's fun and good natured.
If the counter commando gets pushy, especially about replacing a real coke with diet, I just tell them to call 911 now so I don't have to wait later.

Gotta have a little fun now and then.

Art

Now THAT is a good comeback! :D :D :D

[KimberlyType1]

I have had so many people offer things to me that I can't eat. I never "bark" at anyone. It is fine to say no thank you, if they persist just say I have Diabetes, why yell it at someone? They have no idea.

[Tattoo azz]

I've had the occasional 'blurt' too, never in Starbucks tho as i've never been in one:D I prefer smaller individual coffee shops. There's one in my local shopping centre (mall), where sometimes i have to blurt out "i'm diabetic" when i'm served, just so that the poor girl doesn't offer me thousands and thousands of cakes and stuff. The manager told her off in front of me once for not offering the options, so i went off on one to him. He appologised to her and me and i got a free voucher for a regular latte! :D

[reefedjib]

I was in Starbucks not an hour ago for my afternoon fix. I have reduced it's size to a Double Short Skim No Whip Mocha. It's still to rich. Anyway I mentioned that I was changing my "regular" drink because I am diabetic. It turns out the barrista's family has all kinds of Type 2s and he totally understood. Then the customer behind me told me her husband was type 1. We all started talking about BG levels and a1c and dieting.

It was cool!

[foxl]

I have had so many people offer things to me that I can't eat. I never "bark" at anyone. It is fine to say no thank you, if they persist just say I have Diabetes, why yell it at someone? They have no idea.

Probably because you are frustrated with their pushy attitude? ;)

[UpNorth]

If i want something sweet i'll just have it and take insulin to cover. I almost always have some cookie or pastry in Starbucks, but i don't go to Starbucks much... There's only one Starbucks in the nordic countries:eek: I'm not far from it, but still don't go there often. If the staff in a café ask me if i want to have something to go with my drink i'll either just say no thanks or just mention briefly i'm diabetic so i'd like to know about how much carbs there is in a certain pastry before i decide what to have. Usually that is met with understanding and i guess it makes people realise we CAN eat what we want as long as we can figure out how much insulin to take :)

[foxl]

Usually that is met with understanding and i guess it makes people realise we CAN eat what we want as long as we can figure out how much insulin to take :)

IF we are on insulin ... ;)

[MaireC]

I have had a 'discussion' with a waitress in a resturaunt when she brought me real coke, not diet. But it was more because of the principal of the thing. She didn't bring me what I wanted, and swore blind that I was wrong and she was right. My sister got embarassed and tried to persuade me that I was wrong too. Up until the point I got out my meter and took a drop and put it on the strip.
At that point my sister (god bless her heart) began to back me and when I explained why the meter had shown so high to the woman, she sneered at me (I've never really been sneered at before...it was quite an experience:) ) flounced off and brought me back another drink. A full-fat coke yet again!
Then I got annoyed. I quite calmly pointed out that as I had drank real coke for x amount of years and had always refused point blank to drink diet because I hated the taste, I bloody well know what diet coke tastes like. Then I got to meet the manager and have a happy little discuission with her. Then my sister dragged me out of the place.
I never did get my diet coke that day.:D

[UpNorth]

IF we are on insulin ... ;)


Insulin is great stuff :D Couldn't live without it (pun intended) LOL It's such a freedom to just need to guesstimate or calculate and be able to eat basically whatever :)

[lorilei]

Hi Dandy, I get what you are saying about being on both sides of the counter...so you blew it...you are human..diabetes can be quite tedious and very pervasive (!)...i'll be if you go back nd just lightly apologize to the barrista for losing your cool you will feel much better..

as for those with the lack of choices..i now carry around the SF singles in lemonade and iced tea so I can add some kick to the water if that is all i have to chose from ( and those here who know me, know i love to put that stuff in a wine glass so i feel like i am participating at full force)...

i won't drink sugar loaded sodas/beverages but i also won't touch any beer less than a quality one :)

[EeyoreButterfly]

I thought of this thread tonight. I was in Wal Mart getting some groceries at an unGodly hour. On my list was Activia. I have posted here about my problems that are either IBS or Celiac (we think). It's been a lot wrose this week and I am getting desperate so I thought I would try it. Today was an especially bad day, made worse by the fact I was spending it with my boyfriend, his sister, and her boyfriend. We went to see Harry Potter at the drive in. So it was four of us in one pick up bed and my stomach was really acting up. I was trying to hide it as it's very embarassing to me.

So after all of this I decide to get some of this yogurt with my shopping. Like I said, it's very embarassing to have these problems and I was somewhat embarassed to have it in my cart. She starts asking me if it does what it said in the commercial and I truthfully told her I don't know. If she had read my body language at all she should have realized that it was not a topic for conversation, but she did not.

She kept trying to talk about it, and I finally snapped that I didn't want to. I know a lot of it is I'm tired and at that point I was feeling very sick to my stomach, but my goodness, I do not want to talk about my bowel habits with the Wal Mart cashier! Who would want to do that? Honestly, if I decide to keep buying this stuff, I'm not going there again. I will go to one of the other million grocery stores in my area where maybe they have a modicum of common sense.

[soso]

Jessi
I think I have maybe mentioned before that I have had a world of hurt with my gut problems over the years... Recently i have been doing much better, by SERIOUSLY cutting down on fiber. This might seem counter intuitive, but I already knew it was a factor and I read an article the struck a few chords so I gave it a try. I still eat some fruit and all my greens etc, but I have stopped eating seedy breads, anything with flax or nuts etc.. He said to take some kind of heavy duty probiotic (doubt activia would have enough in,, but don't know) he was making the claim that gut flora is an organ in it's own right and these problems occur when it gets seriously whacked. He mentioned fecal implantation as well, a client told me they had a case at her hospital and the woman was almost dying so they did it and she recovered completely.. not for the squeamish though...

[CarlyD]

This thread is near and dear to my heart. I've been on and seen both sides of the story.

I used to work at a restaraunt and hated it when people would use their diabetes as an excuse to get things. I had one regular customer who would come in and demand her food within 5 mins or her son would have, "a diabetes attack." I had a talk with the other servers about how if a diabetic is trying to demand someone else's food just offer a sugary drink. Either you're going low and should have juice rather than pizza or you're using it as an excuse and should wait 10 mins like everyone else.

I have also gotten mad at people when they messed up my drink repeatedly. I was at one place and the waitress didn't remember what I was drinking, so she filled it half and half. If you don't remember just ask!

Some people take, "blurts" too far. I was in a McDonalds and a lady came in yelling that she went through the drive through and was given regular instead of diet. She dumped her drink on the floor and cussed out everyone for about 10 mins. She then gave them a lecture on diabetes. Yes, I was standing there the entire time trying to calm her down like everyone else (20 mins for a McBurger?). After she left they checked the lines and it turns out she was given coke zero. Incidents like those give diabetics a bad name.

[yannah]

This thread is near and dear to my heart. I've been on and seen both sides of the story.

I used to work at a restaraunt and hated it when people would use their diabetes as an excuse to get things. I had one regular customer who would come in and demand her food within 5 mins or her son would have, "a diabetes attack." I had a talk with the other servers about how if a diabetic is trying to demand someone else's food just offer a sugary drink. Either you're going low and should have juice rather than pizza or you're using it as an excuse and should wait 10 mins like everyone else.

I have also gotten mad at people when they messed up my drink repeatedly. I was at one place and the waitress didn't remember what I was drinking, so she filled it half and half. If you don't remember just ask!

Some people take, "blurts" too far. I was in a McDonalds and a lady came in yelling that she went through the drive through and was given regular instead of diet. She dumped her drink on the floor and cussed out everyone for about 10 mins. She then gave them a lecture on diabetes. Yes, I was standing there the entire time trying to calm her down like everyone else (20 mins for a McBurger?). After she left they checked the lines and it turns out she was given coke zero. Incidents like those give diabetics a bad name.

well, this lady is my hero.

I would love to stand in the middle of the mall and just freak out for about 20 minutes yelling about diabetes. I did it at the pharmasist once. they said it was too early to give me strips.
I was having tons of BS issues at the time and I went a little nuts. and the lady just said "I understand" and showed me her pump, and somehow, i left with strips.

I thanked her at Christmas with a ltttle gift and she cried.

yeap, diabetes moments.

[CarlyD]

That would make sense. I would probably freak out about that too, except I am super paranoid so I keep a 3 mo supply of 2 diff types of strips for 4 diff meters ;) Paranoia pays again!