Diabetes issues not related to blood glucose

[studentMD]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

[Granny Shanny]

Nope, nope and nope.

[georgepds]

nope nope and nope

--Is this a troll?

[xMenace]

There is much of this in the world of diabetes, but I think most veterans of this community would emphatically say no, no, and no. I certainly do. Life is good when you're filled with knowledge, support, and experience -- empowered!

[yannah]

no. I feel bad for people who are eating super stuffed mashed potatoes actually.

[Granny Shanny]

nope nope and nope

--Is this a troll?

Depends who you ask! :D :D :D

I was just answering his questions:

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Nope Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet? Nope

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes? Nope

[fgummett]

Perhaps the folks here on the DF community are not representative of the wider D population -- I like to think we are special -- you will certainly meet a wide range of individuals from all around the globe here, and I sincerely feel honoured to be among them.

Yes there may be some who are shocked and awed by D, especially when they first come here, but I think that by and large you will find the folks here take a "loud and proud" attitude when it comes to D... and life in general :)

[imac]

No to all questions. It is not our fault that we have diabetes, It could happen to you. You do not know what problems you will have in later life.

[Uelrindru]

I think it's annoying but I'm never ashamed or guilty. Besides you can always visit and not eat. **** if they're your friend when you tell them you diabetic they should understand, all my friends do.

[Josselyn]

No; I don't feel isolated.
No; my friends have a sense of what I can eat, and I also tend to bring food wherever I visit.
No; why would anyone feel guilty or ashamed about having diabetes?

[adiantum]

No.. why should I feel isolated?

No....if the menu isn't compatable I can have a smaller portion & simply go for a walk after dinner

No, I never feel guilty or ashamed I have diabetes. I'm actually concerned you should ask such a question.
Are you suggesting I should have these emotions & if so...

WHY?

[JayDee1950]

I don't care what people think, am not ashamed at all.
Stuff happens, you can't change family history.
The idiots who try and tell me that I have this 'problem' because of a bad lifestye or eating habits can kiss my butt.
I am special, and belong to an elite club - nothing more.
If people can't understand that I need to be cautious about what I eat, how much or when - then too bad.

[Mich]

Dear Student MD: Huh? Isolated? Why?

And what diet? We aren't on diets anymore. Check out this article: Health Discovery: Preventing Diabetes - AARP Bulletin Today (http://bulletin.aarp.org/yourhealth/discoveries/articles/health_discovery_2.html)

Just FYI. In a friendly way.

Mich

[bunbury]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

Of course not! And anyway most good/real food is easily adapted for a diabetic.

I wonder if you are worried about your own diet? Do you eat a lot of junk, because if you do you might not be able to have dinner at my house. Are you feeling guilty or ashamed about it?

[MCS]

Easy to answer that question for you, try it your self, be D, like I suggested earlier in your original post.

You will gain far more knowledge of this condition if you would simply assume you had D, and go from there.

And NO, NO, NO, I guess thats a NO-NO

[foxl]

Isolated? No. Frustrated? Yes.

My Endo does not understand if I eat 40 g car b per meal I would use up my insulin reserve and have a much higher A1c than she would like, and I do not want to compromise my health by PROVING it to her.

She is not giving me insulin (low dose would be appropriate to preserve beta cell mass) despite antibodies and a low-normal C-peptide. I would like to be able to bolus for an OCCASIONAL carb-y meal, but that is not on the books, evidently. So, I do not get to eat out, ever. That is about the only problem though ...

And Frank is right -- we are here because we consider seeking information -- and friendship -- more important than any negative feelings about D, or secrecy.

[jillybean]

I would like to be able to bolus for an OCCASIONAL carb-y meal, but that is not on the books, evidently. So, I do not get to eat out, ever. That is about the only problem though ...
Honey, you can still eat out! I ate out EVERY day while sticking to 15g total carbs per DAY. My favorite indulgence was steak (prime rib especially) with a non-starchy veggie side (broccoli, usually) and a side salad, no croutons, creamy dressing.

[foxl]

Honey, you can still eat out! I ate out EVERY day while sticking to 15g total carbs per DAY. My favorite indulgence was steak (prime rib especially) with a non-starchy veggie side (broccoli, usually) and a side salad, no croutons, creamy dressing.

Jilly, I am a VEGETARIAN of 37 years' standing ... add low-carbing onto that, and what can I get ... a cheese omelet. Which I love ... but 3 per day is not sooo tasty, even with side veg, you know? :D

[georgepds]

Depends who you ask! :D :D :D

I was just answering his questions:

Sorry, I did not mean to suggest you were trolling, I agree with you ( nope nope and nope)

The question is "is the original post a troll"

--G

[Granny Shanny]

Thanks, George . . . my fuzzy brain at work again!

[jenb]

I'm in agreement with those who say No, No and No.

As for food, I've never been anywhere where I could not join in the festivities - there's always something I can eat. AND, all my friends are aware of my diabetes; they've been great about trying to make low carb and protein foods available at social functions.

Jen

[rak1978]

Isolated? No. Frustrated? Yes.

My Endo does not understand if I eat 40 g car b per meal I would use up my insulin reserve and have a much higher A1c than she would like, and I do not want to compromise my health by PROVING it to her.

She is not giving me insulin (low dose would be appropriate to preserve beta cell mass) despite antibodies and a low-normal C-peptide. I would like to be able to bolus for an OCCASIONAL carb-y meal, but that is not on the books, evidently. So, I do not get to eat out, ever. That is about the only problem though ...

.

Linda,
I know that all endo's are different, but mine prescribed insulin for me to use on an as needed basis (before I was on basal) when he thought I was a type 2. I was pretty uneducated and resistant to taking it (my denial period!). He actually had to persuade me to start taking it. I would only start taking it if he did an antibody test to confirm type 1, so he did and sure enough I was type 1...so I started taking it (how's that for a run-on sentence?). Now I'm on close to 40 units a day. Anyway, I think if you really feel that it's the right time for you to start, you can find an endo who would agree.

Rachel

[JerriAnn]

No. Just eat. Less of what they have. Take a dish to share that you can eat and enjoy. Do exercise after you get home. I am sure not going to sit home and miss out being with friends.

I always take something to drink as well for me and any
one else that would like a diet drink. No one ever
questions why.

Jerri


There is much of this in the world of diabetes, but I think most veterans of this community would emphatically say no, no, and no. I certainly do. Life is good when you're filled with knowledge, support, and experience -- empowered!

[jillybean]

Jilly, I am a VEGETARIAN...
Okay, well, that DOES throw a wrench in the works!

[Is2sew]

I have done well in the social element of my diabetes and will adapt to the food choices when offered. If needed, I will adjust my carb intake to help with BG readings. It's a challenge at times, but I feel I have done pretty well.

Ok, what is a troll?

[Moonglo]

No, no, and no.

In fact, on some small level, my diagnosis has helped me with one of my friends. She loves to have dh and I over for dinner, and most of her cooking includes many ingredients that I don't like, that also happen to be just a little too starcy. So I now have a good reason to bring my own food, and she understands that it's more about my dietary needs than about whether or not I like her cooking :)

[Granny Shanny]

No, no, and no.

In fact, on some small level, my diagnosis has helped me with one of my friends. She loves to have dh and I over for dinner, and most of her cooking includes many ingredients that I don't like, that also happen to be just a little too starcy. So I now have a good reason to bring my own food, and she understands that it's more about my dietary needs than about whether or not I like her cooking :)

You rascal you! hee hee hee . . . :D :D :D

[EeyoreButterfly]

When I am a at a friend's house, I find something I can eat. I either take smaller helpings of the carbs, or stick with whatever proteins are provided.

As far as the rest of it... Yes I do feel ashamed and guilty. When I quit performing, I let myself get fat. Intellectually I know that there is more to it than that, but emotionally I feel worthless. I gave it to myself and now I am living with the consquences. It doesn't help that it feels like no doctor will take you seriously because you are young (I am 25) and "only" have prediabetes.

[Moonglo]

You rascal you! hee hee hee . . . :D :D :D

Granny, I knew you'd appreciate that! :D

Seriously, though, I think I may have gone through a brief period where I felt bad about being diabetic... and if I'm in a depressive funk, which happens a few times a year, I imagine that'll be one more issue that I become temporarily bitter about. But in general, I have come to see diabetes as more of a wakeup call than a death sentence. I will not die thirty minutes later if I eat a piece of pizza, for example. But if I do eat that pizza, and don't limit my portions and exercise after the fact, it will hurt my morning numbers, and then I just have to remind myself that I made the choice to accept a higher reading this morning and promise to do better.

I think many would agree with me in saying that, if we're choosing to take care of ourselves, then there's nothing to feel bitter about, because we're making choices that allow us to live longer and happier lives.

And all of my friends know I'm diabetic, and they know how little variety of foods I like, so there's absolutely zero awkwardness about my eating in front of them, because they all know me well enough to know how I am; and if they insist on judging me for my eating habits, how great of a friend are they anyways?

[Moonglo]

When I am a at a friend's house, I find something I can eat. I either take smaller helpings of the carbs, or stick with whatever proteins are provided.

As far as the rest of it... Yes I do feel ashamed and guilty. When I quit performing, I let myself get fat. Intellectually I know that there is more to it than that, but emotionally I feel worthless. I gave it to myself and now I am living with the consquences. It doesn't help that it feels like no doctor will take you seriously because you are young (I am 25) and "only" have prediabetes.

I do know what you mean here. I am 26, and one of the doctors in the practice I go to (my normal gp was on maternity leave) told me that a fbg of 140 was "not bad." I was floored. I guess that in a doctor's eyes, anyone who is making any efforts to take care of themselves is ahead of the game, because they probably see so many people daily who expect the doctor to do all the work while the patient sits back and benefits from it... and diabetes is just not a disease that works that way. I can only imagine what a breath of fresh air it must be to see a patient who is actually trying, and how easy it must be to subconsciously worry less for them than for the others.

It's kinda like how, in education, the gifted kids often times are not served as well as the special education kids, because the mentality is, "they're smart, so they'll be okay no matter where we put them." This way of thinking is not right, but it's easy to fall into that trap when one has so many other issues to worry about on a daily basis that have more immediate consequences if they are not dealt with.

Doesn't make it right, but I think that's the basic thought process.

[Subby]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

I certainly felt quite profoundly isolated for a lot of my diabetic life, because I was experiencing significant issues on a daily basis with control, that I couldn't find the solution to, that the docs couldn't find a solution to (or would not take seriously). It was extremely frustrating to me to have highs and lows a permanent fixture of the day - and the resulting fatigue, weakness, mental fragility, being washed out, each and every day for year after year. It was obviously frustrating for me, but I was only too aware how friends, even decent ones, would find it frustrating or annoying for me to have this issue constantly in the way - if not after coming up against it a few times, or lots of times, then after seeing it time, after time, after time. And inevitably, I did lose a lot of friends, because I simply couldn't keep up with keeping in social contact for long stretches - I could not trust my energy levels or ability to function, and so many times when it was time to go out or go catch up, I was simply not up to it.

At the same time those who were involved, were when push comes to shove, often a quick and ready armchair expert on telling me or thinking they knew what I was REALLY doing wrong - or it seems, thinking it - seeing the symptoms of me being tired, sick, fatigued as the causes - while I knew it was primarily BG issues, and that all approaches to fix THAT did not work (for a reason, it turned out years later). In some ways I felt like I was in solitary isolation for a long time, in that way - it felt like a form of madness, a puzzle with no resolution and no one in my life to even stop and look properly at it, and constant pressure brought to bear that there should be an easy solution, if I just did the right thing (whatever that was for the moment).

Guilty or ashamed - no, not for a second. Disappointed and defeated at times for the kinds of reasons above (which was just a layer on top of the fact of how I actually felt - something like having the worst case of the flu insofar as physically and mentally knocked around to the point of non-functioning, close to every single day of my twenties...)... yes.

[dbaratta]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

There is nothing to be ashamed of!

[mho357]

It is not our fault that we have diabetes, It could happen to you. You do not know what problems you will have in later life.

I can't help but think that my lifestyle contributed (if not caused) my T2.

Feel guilty? No but I made plenty of choices that weren't healthy. No way to know for sure.

Mark

[rotcoddam]

I think not a troll. More likely a student writing a paper or just interested in diabetes.

As a doc with over 20 years experience working with diabetics, I would say that the folks here are in the top 2% of diabetics as far as how well they handle the disease.

Contrary to the responders here, probably somewhere near half of the diabetics I see in my office feel isolated, in the sense that they are dealing with a problem that their friends and families are not. It is worse for the few teenage type 1s I have treated; teenagers for the most part don't want to stick out from the crowd, and diabetes can really make them stick out. Fortunately, the "information age" and easy global travel has changed people's attitudes towards a lot of things, and so being "different" is less of a problem than it was even 20 years ago.

Many also feel guilty or ashamed, in the sense that overeating is contributing to the problem. Regardless of whether that is good or bad, useful or useless, it is the way they feel.

maddoctor/rotcoddam




nope nope and nope

--Is this a troll?

[jillybean]

I've felt embarassed occasionally about having been diagnosed at only 25. I've also felt vergy angry and resentful about having been brought up on unhealthy foods and having been overweight since I was only 4 or 5 years old - I had no control over those things at the time, yet I strongly believe they contributed to my young diagnosis. And I've felt stupid for not having done more research when I was told at 16 that I was pre-diabetic because there was glucose in my urine - no one seemed to make a very big deal about it, just told me to stop drinking sugary sodas, which I did, and when there was no glucose in my urine the next time, it was like the problem was solved as easily and completely as if a cold has run its course and goes away.

But, all of that is stuff I think about when I'm alone and, well, overthinking life. It doesn't hold me back, it doesn't keep me from doing things I want to do, and, quite frankly, it's made me much more likely to do a ton of research and take control over my own health, which is great. I would be LESS healthy today if I hadn't been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a little over 2 years ago.

[davef]

When I was DX'ed first I felt guilt and isolation but to me that's part and parcel of receiving the diagnosis. That passed when I found these forums, since then my answers would be no, no and no.

[genie86333]

No, no & no.

If I'm isolated, it's because I'm a loner (some say a hermit!) by nature. :) I'm my own favorite company.

I usually only ever eat over at 2 friend's houses anyway. One is hypoglycemic & eats low carb herself so there's always good low-carb stuff for dinner there. The other is my best friend who knows how I eat & goes out of his way to make sure I get a larger portion of the non-carby part of the meal & a smaller portion of any carbs.

I'm never ashamed of having diabetes. I inherited it from my mother. Everyone's always said I'm so much like her...just one more similarity. :)

[Vicki NC]

Triple no's here. BUT I was prepared for those feeling by COPD, as it's also a disease many think people bring on themselves.

My feelings in all situations are, and always will be, there but for the grace of God go I. There are worse things than having had cancer, COPD, or Diabetes...though I have to admit it was more difficult to find my sense of humor after the D diagnosis.

[Linda27406]

I never felt any diffent then usual...actually the DX gave me a good excuse for my more then excentric dietary habits...am a protien junkie...:T

[foxl]

Okay I am feeling better this week, have had coffee and got the time .... I had an interesting psychological dilemma. I was hypothyroid 15 yrs ago, and was only diagnosed diabetic when I went DKA.

I had to read, research and push and push on getting antibody testing from my PCP. I think he was really uncertain which antibodies to look for and did not want to order all of them due to costs, or how to interpret results. I narrowed it down to GAD-65 and kept asking ... and sure enough there they were.

I felt it was important because I was a middle aged (51) woman with recent central obesity. So clinically, it was obvious to PCP and on-call Endo, "Oh, well you are a type 2!" I needed to know if the oral meds, low-carb diet, and exercise did not work forever, it was not my failing.

So PCP on seeing the antibodies refers me to an Endo ... she says, "Oh, you are a type 2 with antibodies." Kept me on oral meds ... GREAAAAT. But, the thing is, I now have access to her CDE to learn to use insulin when I am ready ... and I am psychologically far better prepared to accept (he77 would prefer to try basal injection now actually!) that I need insulin.

I feel PCP and Endo are responding to patient and physician attitudes against the early use of insulin, an attitude I believe needs to be re-thought. Particularly with all the recent research on LADA and beta cell mass preservation.

Hope this helps inform your practice ...

[Jan B]

I never felt embarrased about having diabetes, BUT, I always take it as a personal failure if my A1c is too high, or if my readings are high. In my head, I'm always blaming myself for not being "perfect".

When I was a little girl, my mom would always tell me how "good" I was after a doctor's appointment when the doctor said I was healthy. So after being diagnosed w/D, I was no longer "good". I know intellectually, that makes no sense, but it still haunts me in a way.

[foxl]

Jan your thoughts reinforce mine.

I would add, from my experience, and having two developmentally-delayed and one gifted kid, we now praise HARD WORK, not performance! Of course, MDs do not see our hard work to care for ourselves ...

[Jan B]

Jan your thoughts reinforce mine.

I would add, from my experience, and having two developmentally-delayed and one gifted kid, we now praise HARD WORK, not performance! Of course, MDs do not see our hard work to care for ourselves ...

Thank you Linda. I greatly admire you as a person and mom.

[Granny Shanny]

Jan your thoughts reinforce mine.

I would add, from my experience, and having two developmentally-delayed and one gifted kid, we now praise HARD WORK, not performance! Of course, MDs do not see our hard work to care for ourselves ...

Would that every parent instilled this ethic! And you're so right about what the docs "see".

[foxl]

Aw, thanks, Jan!

And Granny ... I once had an Ob act quite accusatory when she removed my breast biopsy stitches, and the incision "dehisced!" Yikes. Claimed I had not kept it clean enough, etc etc. I was presumed remiss in my care! I never returned to her.

Two yrs later I was dx'd hypothyroid. And read up on collagen synthesis and would healing in hypothyroidism ... :mad: What a bunch of BS!

[Granny Shanny]

I once had an Ob act quite accusatory when she removed my breast biopsy stitches, and the incision "dehisced!" Yikes. Claimed I had not kept it clean enough, etc etc. I was presumed remiss in my care! I never returned to her.

Two yrs later I was dx'd hypothyroid. And read up on collagen synthesis and would healing in hypothyroidism ... :mad: What a bunch of BS!

And I hope you told her WHY! That's the arrogance that gives them all a bad name. Patients need to know - whenever you leave a doc, be sure they know why you're leaving! If even one would amend his/her ways, it might be worth it! :D :D :D

[Richard157]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

Yes, Yes and No!

I was diagnosed when I was 6. We did not have any other diabetics in our family. We did not know of any other diabetics, anywhere, so I felt isolated. I felt like I was the only kid in the world who had to take shots with those very long, wide needles. Everyone but me could have treats. There were no artificial sweeteners then, that we knew about.
Isolation was very much part of my life for many years. Growing up and maturing solved all that and I have not felt that way since.

I never felt guilty or ashamed, even when I was a kid.

[foxl]

And I hope you told her WHY! That's the arrogance that gives them all a bad name. Patients need to know - whenever you leave a doc, be sure they know why you're leaving! If even one would amend his/her ways, it might be worth it! :D :D :D

This was ages ago so no, I did not -- but I sure would NOW! I suspect it was defensive on her part. Studies since have shown that is a behavior that gets MDs SUED.

[Caravaggio]

Does anyone ever feel isolated because of their diabetes? Like when you can't have dinner at a friend's house because their food isn't on your diet?

Ever feel guilty or ashamed you have diabetes?

No.

No. I eat what my friends serve, although if it's something that drives my blood sugar up, I either don't eat it or eat less of it. Anyway, I realized that I do not know anyone who serves only pasta, bread, cake or cookies (and the like) on their dinner tables. Meat, fish and veggies are almost always available. Actually, nobody notices that I don't touch the bread basket or take only a small forkful of dessert. :D

Yes (both guilty and ashamed) for a while - a short while. Sometimes, I still experience fleeting moments of guilt only when I look back to my lifestyle years ago. But those moments quickly fade when I see myself now. I'm proud to say that, other than my diabetes, I'm healthier, have little medical problems, more active and far slimmer than most of my friends and relatives who do not have diabetes. :proud: Plus, I've been lucky that nobody who knows of my diabetes has ever given me reason to be ashamed. :)