I hate this disease...

[mattyzx3]

I have had enough.

I thought dealing with the complications of being high or low was enough. Then you start to think about the complications like neuropathy and the like.

My girlfriend broke up with me last night because she says she worries too much about me. That will make the third girlfriend who left me because of my disease. She's the first brave enough to tell it to my face but I found out about the other two reasoning from mutual friends. So since getting T1, all of my girlfriends have broken up with me because of this.

I got T1 at 21. Right in the middle of chasing my career dream of being a police officer. Now I am told I can't do that either because of my disease.

What really do I have to live for? I can't do the things that everyone dreams of doing. Having a great family, a wife, a job I love. Why struggle keeping myself healthy and eating right and doing all this exercise only to live a sad and lonely life?

Ah, well hate to bring down those who are lucky enough to be doing so well... Maybe I'll go low tonight while I sleep and put myself out of my misery.

[duck]

Eeeeeease up. It's manageable.

And I'll be harsh--If your hunnies couldn't put up with your disease, forget them, you are better of without them.

How old are you now? What kind of insulin do you take and what is your current insulin regimen?

[duck]

By the way, for what it is worth, welcome aboard. This is a pretty helpful forum, we can help out.

[Cinnabon]

Unbelievably enough, Im in your same shoes. Its too funny how many things we have in common. I am a criminology major, had great but terminated relationships, and had about enough of this UNFAIR disease. I have been T1 for 22 years. I have been REAL depressed at times, but there are people out there that really do care, not that I have found one, but there are. You cannot look at life the way you are looking at it at this moment. I am still on ANCIENT medication, such as Humulin R & N. I am looking forward to seeing a new Endo tomm to hopefully switch to Lantus and to see how I can go about a pump.
You might wanna rethink that unconscious low you speak of. As bad as it may seem, you could think of the people that worst scenarios, worst diseases. I know that the phrase "cheer up" makes no sense right now, but there are a lot of women and men, that don't hold a disease, such as diabetes against another person. You have to be selfish and think of yourself... Do it for you!
You can actually email me or even talk on here if you would like...

KIT,

Mars

[LauRa Lu]

I got T1 at 21. Right in the middle of chasing my career dream of being a police officer. Now I am told I can't do that either because of my disease.

What really do I have to live for? I can't do the things that everyone dreams of doing. Having a great family, a wife, a job I love. Why struggle keeping myself healthy and eating right and doing all this exercise only to live a sad and lonely life?



How old are you now? and where abouts are you...uk? america?

Sounds like you're pretty down about this, you've got every right to be even if you're just down about your girlfriend finishin with you.

It's a bummer that you can't be in the police because of diabetes, Is there no way around that? One of my dads friends is in the police and he's type2.

I'm 21 and being diabetic seriously can get me down sometimes... but I just think about all the people so much more worse off than me... Thats quite a lot of people with problems that make me feel seriously lucky to 'only' be diabetic!

Why can't you do the things that every one dreams of doing :confused: Those girls that left you did you a favour because they obviously weren't the right ones for you and at least now you can get on with finding the girl that 'can' give you a great familly and a great future.

Wishing you could go so low that you die isn't the answer :eek: Life is a roller coaster for everyone not just us... ours just has bigger dips and we scream a little more :p

.

[DeusXM]

Yeah, break-ups suck, don't they. Been there, done that, got plenty of scars to show for it, and it's never fun.

I also know that everyone else's words always seem pretty hollow when you feel like that too.

I'm not going to start lecturing you on how it doesn't have be all like this or whatever because it won't wash right now but as a bit of advice from someone who's been through something pretty **** similar in the last couple of months - trust me mate, you don't have to be lonely because of diabetes, you don't have to let it hold you back, and any woman who breaks up with you because you have diabetes really isn't worth making the effort for. Sod her. Be miserable for a bit, it's cathartic. Feel sorry for yourself for a while. It's only fair. But don't lose your grip. I know it's a horrible, horrible cliche but you never know what the future might bring.

Whether or not that future is a good or bad one though is pretty much up to you.

Take a few weeks out - you'll need some time to recover. But you CAN recover, if you want to.

Your girlfriends are wrong to have broken up with you because of your diabetes. If you let diabetes destroy you then you'll just prove them right - and I for one am not in the habit of letting my exes ever think they were right. Prove 'em wrong. Find yourself a much better girl, get yourself in the best shape of your life, make a success of yourself. Make those harpies jealous of you - revenge is very, very sweet (no pun intended), and there's no better revenge than showing an ex how they made a massive mistake.

[rzrbks]

duck

Eeeeeease up. It's manageable.

And I'll be harsh--If your hunnies couldn't put up with your disease, forget them, you are better of without them.



LauRa Lu
Those girls that left you did you a favour because they obviously weren't the right ones for you and at least now you can get on with finding the girl that 'can' give you a great familly and a great future.

DeusXM

Your girlfriends are wrong to have broken up with you because of your diabetes. If you let diabetes destroy you then you'll just prove them right - and I for one am not in the habit of letting my exes ever think they were right. Prove 'em wrong. Find yourself a much better girl, get yourself in the best shape of your life, make a success of yourself. Make those harpies jealous of you - revenge is very, very sweet (no pun intended), and there's no better revenge than showing an ex how they made a massive mistake.

Here are people that know whereof they speak.

You have a right to feel that way, even if you weren't someone with Diabetes.
But, You heart heals, eventually and you will find the right one who cares abouot you and will help you take care of yourself, Diabetes included.

[mg_2204]

... There is no such thing as 'worrying too much' when you love and care for someone. Love is unconditional. One day you will meet a woman who will love you for who you are. Diabetes is just one aspect of your life after all, there is a lot more to you than that, don't you agree? :) Not every girl is good wife material you know. My 22 y/o son has just been dumped by his fiancée (they were supposed to marry in Aug) and boy...! Are we all glad he discovered in time :whistling

You're going through a rough time right now but wait and see. Things will improve. Trust they will. In the mean time, take good care of yourself. It's worth it. YOU ARE worth it!

The very best to you,

[lgvincent]

I believe it's possible for a diabetic to be a police officer. I remember seeing an article several years ago about a diabetic policeman. I don't know if I can find it but I'll look and see if it has any useful information.

[Lee73]

Hi Matty,

I am going to have to agree with everyone else...love ought to be unconditional and your diabetes should not have a bearing on anyone's ability to love you. My mother and father have been married forty years. My father has been a type 1 diabetic for as long. My sister became diabetic (type 1) at age 9 and she is in her late twenties now and has found a very understanding partner. Love is possible and don't settle for anything less than unconditional love for all that you are, diabetes and all. Being concerned about the health and well being of the person you love is a normal and natural part of any relationship.

As for being a police officer....I was not aware that people with diabetes are prevented from being police officers. Were you told this by the police academy or did you decide not to become a police officer because of your diabetes?

You seem to be going through a rough time. It is always difficult when relationships end. Hang in there and keep us posted on your life.

Take care,

Lee

[HeatherP]

Hi Matty, I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time of it and I understand your fustration. I think everyone before me has given you good advice. I hate this disease too, and I enjoy an occasional pity party over it. I'm not even somebody people would consider a "fighter", but God**** it, I'm not going to let Diabetes get the best of me. Don't let it take the things you want away from you. Maybe you can't be a police officer, but I'm sure there are other things you can do in law enforcement. I believe that there's one person for everybody; you just haven't met her yet. I've had depression since I was quite young, and I've had some pretty bad bouts of it. Being dx'd with Diabetes certainly didn't help any. Things really will look different if you give it some time. Hang in there, keep trying. You'll find there are some pretty wonderful experiences to have out there waiting for you.

Nice to meet you,
HeatherP
(T1, dx'd @ 24)

[ed2065]

I am new to this forum like you. I don't usually post ,rather read and learn from others. Your post sounded desperate and hit close to home. I was starting college in 1990 and wanted to be a police officer. I was told I could not apply. That changed with the ADA law that came later that year. I applied and was hired by a major midwest city and have worked on the department for 10 years. I have been a type 1 diabetic for 23 years but few people on my department know I have the disease. I did not conceal it and was given an A1c test by the pension board and accepted. If you can perform the job...and trust me you can...you cannot be denied employment based solely on your diabetes. If you have been denied the opportunity to apply you have a great lawsuit. I have been blessed with great success and have promoted to Captain in that 10 years. You need to demonstrate you have control...so get control and make it happen.

As for the girl...I know it hurts now but if she left for that reason she was not a keeper. I found a great girl who is now a devoted wife and mother of our five children. This disease scares me too...but it is a life challenge that you can overcome. You control it...it does not control you! Keeping on even though you are scared is called bravery, something incidentally you will need plenty of to do your future job. You are in my prayers..It can be done.- Eric

[zookeeper671]

I believe it's possible for a diabetic to be a police officer. I remember seeing an article several years ago about a diabetic policeman. I don't know if I can find it but I'll look and see if it has any useful information.
You're right, LG. A major requirement is having extremely great control over your numbers, especially a lack of lows. Just an example, I know of a paramedic who's on the pump. No need to give up your dream.

[am1977]

I have had enough.

I thought dealing with the complications of being high or low was enough. Then you start to think about the complications like neuropathy and the like.

My girlfriend broke up with me last night because she says she worries too much about me. That will make the third girlfriend who left me because of my disease. She's the first brave enough to tell it to my face but I found out about the other two reasoning from mutual friends. So since getting T1, all of my girlfriends have broken up with me because of this.

I got T1 at 21. Right in the middle of chasing my career dream of being a police officer. Now I am told I can't do that either because of my disease.

What really do I have to live for? I can't do the things that everyone dreams of doing. Having a great family, a wife, a job I love. Why struggle keeping myself healthy and eating right and doing all this exercise only to live a sad and lonely life?

Ah, well hate to bring down those who are lucky enough to be doing so well... Maybe I'll go low tonight while I sleep and put myself out of my misery.

Hey,

Life isn't fair :( . It can quite frankly suck at times. We've all had those times where we feel sorry for ourselves and feel like giving up. Although some might say grow up and get over it, I think we are entitled to those days. Dealing with this disease every day, 24/7, is a real PITA and is no easy task. It really can be draining. However, saying that, if you are dealing with serious depression (something us diabetics are more at risk for) you need to find help. I don't know if that's your situation or not, only you can make that judgement, but if so please find someone asap. Depression can really bring you down and affect all aspects of your life. Hopefully, that's not your case.

As far as job and finding a girl...those things will happen. I like to believe that things happen for a reason. Maybe this relationship with your girlfriend wasn't meant to be, maybe there is someone out there more suited for you...you just need to keep looking. As far as jobs go, I think if being a policeman is wht you really want...don't give up. Where there's a will, there's a way. I think Ed is a good example of that.

Hang in there, this too shall pass ;)

[Eri's mom]

So sorry you're going through this.
Everyone here has given you great advice...
Go for your dream, and along the way I am sure you will meet that girl of your dreams.
Also, as mentioned, go ahead, go through the down time, but remember, the upside is so much better :)

Life is definitely not fair, and sometimes it just deals you a really bad hand.

I hate this disease as well(I don't have it, my 11yo daughter does, has had it for 5 yrs and we just almost lost her Monday to severe DKA..and believe me, you don't want to put your family through that)...
Like advice given on a previous post in this thread...diabetes doesn't have you, you have it, and YOU can control it and can succeed in anything you want.

Oh yeah, btw, welcome to this forum, it's awesome :)
God bless...

[Mick]

Matty,

Welcome! I empathize--this disease can get you down at times I know. No one on this board has had it longer than me, I believe I'm the longest-term survivor here, so let me give you a bit of a reality-check. I was diagnosed in 1965, when I was 12 years old. At the time, treatment of childhood-onset diabetics was effective but primitive, and offered hope only for "survival until a cure." They put that at maybe 20 years--and said IF I took really good care of myself, and IF a cure was found within 20 years and IF I was very lucky, I might make it. Otherwise, I could expect to live into my mid-30's then die of kidney failure. They told me all of this after I came out of a 3-day coma... I WAS lucky, I DID work really hard, but no cure has yet been found... Still, I have doubled my life expectancy at diagnosis, and have maintained my health almost 100%. The unfair thing I regretted the most at the time of my diagnosis was the loss of my career dream as well--I was going to be an Astronaut. NO diabetics need apply, so I put that one away... As far as girlfriends, I went out with a few girls very informally in high school and college, but never seriously--and I suspected maybe that was because of the diabetes. Then I ran into a good friend from my childhood, a girl I had always known, during our junior year of college. We moved in together quickly, and assumed almost immediately we would get married and spend the rest of our lives together. Her mother put the brakes on that one--she said I was a "bad risk" and that her daughter should under no circumstances marry me. After graduation, we ignored her and the entire family, drove across the country until we ran out of money, and eloped--just got married then and there. Didn't tell anyone. Used a ring from Woolworth's--or was it a Crackerjacks box...? Although we both always knew there might be troubles and problems for us down the road due to my disease, we decided against good judgment to make a leap of faith and just live life as it came.

That was 31 years ago. We're still married. I'm NOT an astronaut, but I've been a Special Education teacher for the past 29 years--a career I adore and am ****ed good at. I've outlived her doubting mother, both my parents, and at this point, I will likely outlive my child bride, as she is fighting a difficult battle with cancer. We adopted 2 wonderful children--my oldest graduates from college next week. Life is not easy for anyone--the difficulties are there for you to overcome, allowing you to become the person you are meant to be. Leaping these difficult hurdles will make you a champion--the effort is well worth the rewards. My life, although not easy, has been rewarding, joyous and fulfilling. My wife and children, my career and community have managed to occupy me, and while my diabetes has always lurked in the background, it has never taken over. Sometimes it is an annoyance, sometimes a real danger, a few times it has threatened to take my life. I fight, I smile, and I keep on keeping on.

Your pessimism is a shame. It will sap your energy and empty your spirit. You must believe in yourself, have faith in your future, and then act as if you WILL have one. Your cup is only half-empty if you continue with your pessimism, Matty. My cup, while it contains the same amount, has always been half-full--that is called optimism. Optimism is the light that brightens one's life. live in the light, not the darkness. Hope is fragile, but it is not just an empty promise or a shadowy illusion. Hope is a life-raft, and our journey down this river of life is so much easier if we can manage to cling to that hope, no mater how fragile it seems at times. Stay afloat Matty. Cling to Hope. Swim against that current of pessimism to the fertile banks of happiness.

Namaste, my young friend
Michael