desperately need help here!

[blazingsirens06]

i have been dieting for almost two years now (well, really, ever since i was first diagnosed 8 years ago, but for the past two years especially), and even though i had some good success when i first set out in spring of '04 to lose the weight i'd gained since i was first diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, it's like i have completely LOST whatever it was that first "clicked" that made me lose over 40lbs a year ago. since early 2005, i have stopped steadily losing like i first was, and have instead been simply "maintaining" my weight by forcing myself to lose 5-10lbs through crash dieting and excessive exercise for a few weeks at a time, to gaining those 5-10lbs right back from bingeing (or even just eating "normally") for a few weeks to follow. and now it's like even THAT yo-yo dieting technique has lost its effectiveness, as i've now finally gained back a good sum of the weight i originally lost (i don't know how much, cause i'm too terrified to weigh myself... but i've already had to graduate my clothes up a size larger).

i'm honestly at my wit's end here! even as i write this, i'm crying out of massive frustration. i don't know what else to do! i have the motivation and the drive to exercise and eat healthy; i can go for days at a time with eating as clean and healthy a diet as even the most trained and knowledgable doctor, nutritionist, and personal trainer could prescribe; i do an 1.5-2 hours of cardio and weight training 4-5 times a week (sometimes 6 or 7 days a week when i'm going through another "manic dieting" episode); i'm fanatical about watching my GI and fat intake; i've religiously followed step-by-step instructions from tons of different real and effective diets; i've done HOURS upon HOURS of reading from health and nutrition texts, educating myself as much as possible (without actually taking an entire health course in a classroom), but no matter WHAT i do... NOTHING IS WORKING!!!!!! the pattern seems to be, i do really well for anywhere from 6-15 days at a time... but then, i ALWAYS lose my momentum and progress when my BG drops for whatever reason, and that always, always, ALWAYS triggers my next binge... and then the horrible cycle starts alllll over again!!!

PLEASE HELP ME!!! if ANYONE can relate to what i'm describing here... if anyone has ANY suggestions or advice (particularly on how to handle and manage low BG episodes so i can finally BREAK this awful pattern)... pleeeeeeeaaasssee post it!!!!

thanks!

[travis]

Welcome to the forums, sorry your first post here is one of distress, but you'll find support here from some great peoples. Don't know that I can help but I can relate. I lost a good amount, and do struggle to keep it from slipping back.

One medical question -- have you had a thyroid panel run? I know a guy who had similar issues, and turnes out a daily pill to tweak his thyroid put him right back on track.

[blazingsirens06]

no i haven't had a thyroid run at all, travis. what kind of medication does that involve?

[Harold]

no i haven't had a thyroid run at all, travis. what kind of medication does that involve?Reading your first post I had the same thought as travis. What med you would take would depend on the thyroid results if positive.

[am1977]

OMG! I can SO relate and I completely understand your frustration :mad:. Managing Diabetes is hard and then when you add in trying to manage your weight, it's not impossible, but it sometimes feels that way :banghead:.

Just to clear things up a bit, you don't want to return to that stage where you were losing weight so rapidly before diagnosis. I'm sure you know this, but just in case, the reason why you were losing was b/c the food you were eating wasn't being let into the cells. You were basically getting no nutrition from the food you ate...b/c the insulin wasn't there. In other words your body was starving. Now, yes, it's nice that the weight came off so easily, but I'm sure you felt pretty crappy during that time in your life...and I don't think it's worth it. Being healthy is SO much more important.

A couple questions: Have you met with a registered Dietician? Have you been put on a meal plan? How about exercise? These things are important in managing your diet and are things to consider. Have you also considered keeping a food journal? You might be surprised at how much you eat. Oops, i just read that you exercise a lot- is it possible that you aren't eating enough? If you eat under 1200 calories a day, your body goes into starvation mode and clings to each calorie you take in- so watch that as well.

I know it's frustrating...espeicially those binges triggered by lows. How often do you go low? Is it possible for you to test yourself more often as to prevent yourself from getting to that point? I know sometimes it's just going to happen, but if you can prevent in some way that may help...

I wish you luck! :)

[Linn]

I can relate to this. When they found out I was diabetic I was put in the hospital and my weight at that time was a whopping 110 lbs. That was almost 3 years ago and a few days ago at the doctor, my weight was 148!!
My doctor seems VERY pleased at my current weight but I have told him that I need to LOSE weight and I am not happy like he is over the issue. I ran upon an article the other day that said IF the diabetes is controlled well, the patient will GAIN weight.. We that 's sure what happened with me. But I cannot fit into any of my jeans and had to buy new ones this past year. I don't overeat either... I know its tough I would be glad to lose only 10 lbs.

[rzrbks]

blazingsirens06,

IF the diabetes is controlled well, the patient will GAIN weight..

Unfortunately, what Linn says is correct for many of us. I have steadily gained weight since dx'd. Nothing massive, but none-the-less a steady gain. I can, for a while bring it back down by a few pounds, but then it slowly returns (in the night while I'm not looking, I'm sure).

[Georgia]

When I look in the mirror my face is either a thin face or a fat face! Yesterday it was a thin face but today it is a fat face, all puffy & swollen eyes. I've put it down to fluid retention as it happens during the build up to that horrible time of the month :(

[jen_slc]

I also gained a good chunk of weight for several years after diagnosis, my doc at the time told me the insulin was making me hungry but that I didn't need to eat anymore than I was. When people saw a photo of me and found out I was diabetic, they automatically assumed I was type 2, which was moronic, seeing as how being overweight isn't always a necessary factor for T2 development.

Since getting out of my teenage years, I made a huge effort to lose that weight, get in shape, eat healthier and exercise. I always knew I'd never ever see 120 lbs on the scale again, but that's something I've accepted. Despite all my work, the numbers on the scale haven't really changed much, but I know I'm the healthiest I've ever been right now, as I can see and feel the difference. I've lost a lot of fat and gained some muscle, and we all know muscle weighs more than fat, so I try not to think about the scales so much anymore. :wink:

Though, I am always looking to shed a few more fat pounds while keeping my muscle, and lately, something that's really helped me was a food diary, like Andrea suggested, and I found a decent free one online at nutridiary.com. You can look up most foods and it will give you detailed nutritional values. It'll also help you log everything - weight, weight goals, exercise, caloric intake, etc, plus ideally what you should be doing based on your current status, lifestyle (sedentary, active, etc) and basic metabolic needs. It helped me realize that my portion sizes were a bit out of control and since paying attention to those, I've dropped 4 pounds in 2 months, which is absolutely unheard of for me.

It is a constant uphill battle but I just wanted to let you know that it's not impossible, maybe just a bit slow in the making! And don't totally deny yourself lip-smacking bad-for-you foods! From my experience, a little bit in moderation definitely works better than total denial, because as you know, those binging periods can be dangerous.

Good luck and I hope you feel better!

[blazingsirens06]

thanks so much for the responses, guys. just reading some of them was like looking in a mirror and hearing my own thoughts completely echoed (cheesy as that may sound lol).

i'm still getting used to this forum (not quite sure how it works in quoting and responding to multiple responses all in the same reply), but i'll do my best to get get back to everyone...

anyway, firstly, over the years, i have met with several different dieticians and nutritionists, and went over various meal plans; but not recently (as in, not since i first started seriously dieting spring of '04). i think this was mainly because i just didn't want to feel like i had someone "watching" what i was doing, and possibly telling me to do it differently than how *i* was doing it (with this premise being based on the success i was having when i first started; i guess i was just scared i would be told i wasn't doing something the "right" way and would be given grief for it). not only that, but after having met with so many different experts over the years, i was finding that i was no longer really learning anything that i didn't already know (in terms of the GI of different foods and their impact on BG, and adjusting insulin based on this). my doctor could see i was losing weight, and asked what i was doing differently, but all i would really tell her was i was exercising more, eating healthier, and adjusting my insulin accordingly on the sliding scale i use. as long as i don't show any negative effects in my tests, my doctor doesn't tend to question me, so she just left it at that.

that's another thing- in regard to the comment about if the disease *is* under good control, then the person *will* gain weight... that theory is just something i don't fully understand. i know that all type 1 diabetics do gain weight after being diagnosed (the amount varying from person to person), but in the 8 years i've been living with this disease, i've only drastically (and healthily) lost weight twice- the first time being within the first year after i was first diagnosed (and pretty much knew nothing about diabetes and how insulin affects the body other than just stabilizing BG), when i gained over 20lbs in just a few months after being released from the hospital. i was beyond floored. at the time, i had NO IDEA that injecting myself with insulin everyday just so i could remain alive and healthy would make me gain weight like that. i was also kinda pissed at my doctor and dietician for having not warned me that's what would happen, especially with the amount of carbs i was eating at the time (really, at that time, i was totally clueless). but after my first weight gain, i began my first quest to lose that weight the only way i knew how at the time (which was just simply eating less, and walking for 30-45 min a day). but this wasn't me dieting with the true understanding that i was doing so as a diabetic; i was just doing so the way any other normal, non-diabetic would have. at the time, i didn't even realize that in doing what i was doing, i was also administering a lot LESS insulin than what i had been first giving myself (which i know now is the key to weight loss), and that my insulin-sensitivity was at the best i would probably ever see it at. during that time my BG was the most stable i think its ever been in the whole 8 years i've had diabetes. my endo at the time was extremely impressed at my test results, and how i not only lost all the weight i'd gained, but i even lost more than what i had started at when i first entered the hospital (i started at 130, shot up to 152, then got myself down to 117 in about 6 months).

the only other time i've lost a significant amount of weight is what i described here in my original post. only this time, this was after i had gone through a REALLY bad period with my health and diabetes management. in '01 and part of '02, i started having severe hypo attacks, and had to be rushed to hospital a bunch of times when my family started finding me unconscious around the house. during that time i was put on a different insulin (switched from Novolin Toronto to NovoRapid), which helped a lot in managing my BG; but not with my weight. ALL the weight i'd lost in that first year (and more) had come back up until, and after, i was put on NovoRapid (i think the highest i got up to was around 185). but since my BG was doing so much better on NovoRapid, my doctor never said anything about my weight (even though i was totally devastated by it).

but then, after more than 6 years since i'd first lost weight, i decided to set out to do the same thing once again (only this time i knew it would be a much harder and longer battle, since i had a lot more to lose this time). so around early spring of 2004 i once again started cutting back on my caloric intake (and being much more knowledgable this time, also started cutting back and closely monitoring my carb and GI intake as well). i also started exercising again, starting out with just light walking around the neighbourhood, gradually increasing it from 30 minutes to 2 hours a day, before i finally just joined a gym. it worked. by the end of the summer (right before i was about to enter my final year of college) i had lost about 35lbs, and continued to lose another 10lbs between september and december (this time, the lowest i got down to was just under 140). not only that, but during this whole time, my BG had also been at the best i could remember it being since the first time i had lost weight.

but after the new year, that's when (like i mentioned before) whatever it was that had "clicked" up until then, had suddenly "unclicked". i just suddenly wasn't steadily and coninually losing anymore, and it freaked me out. from then on, that's pretty much when i started the awful cycle i'm still struggling with now. it worked in maintaining my current weight at the time for awhile too; but like i said, even that's waning now, as i'm slowing gaining back what i lost. just judging by the way my clothes are fitting right now, i think i'm somewhere between 155-160, which upsets me soooo much!!!:bawling:

but yeah, my point being it was during these two times that it seemed my BG and overall health were at its best, which is why i guess i don't really understand the reasoning behind the idea that weight gain means the disease is under good control. i'm not saying diabetics who've gained weight *aren't* healthy (cause i know many, if not most, are); but this is just something that kinda puzzles me based on my own experiences.

and jen_slc, another thing i can relate very much to is what you mentioned about having lost fat, but also gained muscle from weight lifting. that's also the same with me; in addition to walking, i've also been doing moderate to intense weight lifting for over a year now, so i know that even though i lost a lot of weight, i've also gained some muscle mass (which i'm still maintaining at the gym). but that doesn't concern me as much as that i just can't seem to get back into my "fat burning" mode that i was in over a year ago. i know that it just comes down to being able to break out of this cycle and manage my BG lows without starting another binge... but i just haven't been able to do that yet (and it's totally crushing me):bawling:

but any further comments and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! just these first responses have helped a lot!

p.s. btw, if you guys are still reading this, thank you! i apologize for making it so long lol!