HutchWabbit
01-13-2006, 07:26 AM
A big Hi to everybody for a start ! :shakehand
I have something going on at the moment which is literally tearing me to pieces and I wonder if you could offer some views using your experiences. This would end up being stupidly long so I will condense it as much as I can.
I've just split from my girlfriend of 18 months who is has been T1 since the age of 7 (she's now 21) - reason to follow and it'll all make sense. I'm 35 and don't have diabetes myself. She's had various medical issues of seriousness along the way and some not helped by alcohol and cigarette abuse from about 13-17 (as far as I am told). Since being with me she really really changed for the better and certainly helped me out aswell. However, She's now started smoking a little (first time I've seen her do so and was to help with an attack of anxiety) and wants to go out and party again. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully in support of the partying but being sensible with it.
The key thing is here is that I've only ever seen her test herself 3 times in the 18 months I've known her and basically I'm told "I know my own body and I don't need to". Diet has been ok for a few months but it's now a case of whatever goes. She was the model diabetic until about 13 and then all **** broke loose apparently.
She's now suffering from anxiety and is making rash decisions that are totally out of character (must buy this, buy that, get a dog, etc, etc). It's a level of impatience which extends to new proportions. It's been like this for a while but now has got worst. There's basically no telling her at all with anything and if you do offer advice then you are wrong.
The problem is, is that I absolutely love her so much and more than I can possibly say here and am offering a great life with a stable home environment to help her out in every way that I can. This has been rejected as I apparently didn't ask her to move in to my new house in the timescales that she had set (down to a few months). "I didn't get what I want when I wanted it" was the statement. It was going to be my top of the tree Xmas present too so it's seriously gutting. I bought the house and it's designed by both of us with the full intention of her moving in.
I know what risks I am taking on and have written everything down and accepted them. It's something that I've taken alot of time to understand. My friends tell me to get out of there asap but I've never loved anybody this much before and she really is something incredibly special to me. My dilemma is if I stay around and support her it will kill me not being able to do anything and see this happen. If I disappear out of her life (my choice, as she doesn't want me to) then I won't have to watch this all happening, but it will mean I will miss her terribly. I'm not one to give up on somebody, let alone the person I love. Everything was perfect and going so well I cannot say and all of a sudden this HUGE change. I have my suspicions that these problems may be down to not monitoring as her sugar levels could be whatever\whenever. One of the medical documents I've been reading states that this is most likely the case as snap judgements are made based on short term goals which could be major (plus being very critical of people with no patience). Virtually all of my time is taken up trying to understand this at the moment. Everybody I've spoken to says to run as fast as I can from this as she is playing one incredibly dangerous game thinking "I've gotta do this when I am young. I don't want to get old.". Scarey isn't it. Obviously, there's more than myself worried about this.
I really really don't know what to do and apologies for rambling (it's the minature version aswell) but I'd be glad of any input you could offer. If she sees this (not sure if she is a member) then I'm a dead man for sure, but I'll risk that for the sake of her health and future. Thanks in advance.
I have something going on at the moment which is literally tearing me to pieces and I wonder if you could offer some views using your experiences. This would end up being stupidly long so I will condense it as much as I can.
I've just split from my girlfriend of 18 months who is has been T1 since the age of 7 (she's now 21) - reason to follow and it'll all make sense. I'm 35 and don't have diabetes myself. She's had various medical issues of seriousness along the way and some not helped by alcohol and cigarette abuse from about 13-17 (as far as I am told). Since being with me she really really changed for the better and certainly helped me out aswell. However, She's now started smoking a little (first time I've seen her do so and was to help with an attack of anxiety) and wants to go out and party again. Don't get me wrong, I'm fully in support of the partying but being sensible with it.
The key thing is here is that I've only ever seen her test herself 3 times in the 18 months I've known her and basically I'm told "I know my own body and I don't need to". Diet has been ok for a few months but it's now a case of whatever goes. She was the model diabetic until about 13 and then all **** broke loose apparently.
She's now suffering from anxiety and is making rash decisions that are totally out of character (must buy this, buy that, get a dog, etc, etc). It's a level of impatience which extends to new proportions. It's been like this for a while but now has got worst. There's basically no telling her at all with anything and if you do offer advice then you are wrong.
The problem is, is that I absolutely love her so much and more than I can possibly say here and am offering a great life with a stable home environment to help her out in every way that I can. This has been rejected as I apparently didn't ask her to move in to my new house in the timescales that she had set (down to a few months). "I didn't get what I want when I wanted it" was the statement. It was going to be my top of the tree Xmas present too so it's seriously gutting. I bought the house and it's designed by both of us with the full intention of her moving in.
I know what risks I am taking on and have written everything down and accepted them. It's something that I've taken alot of time to understand. My friends tell me to get out of there asap but I've never loved anybody this much before and she really is something incredibly special to me. My dilemma is if I stay around and support her it will kill me not being able to do anything and see this happen. If I disappear out of her life (my choice, as she doesn't want me to) then I won't have to watch this all happening, but it will mean I will miss her terribly. I'm not one to give up on somebody, let alone the person I love. Everything was perfect and going so well I cannot say and all of a sudden this HUGE change. I have my suspicions that these problems may be down to not monitoring as her sugar levels could be whatever\whenever. One of the medical documents I've been reading states that this is most likely the case as snap judgements are made based on short term goals which could be major (plus being very critical of people with no patience). Virtually all of my time is taken up trying to understand this at the moment. Everybody I've spoken to says to run as fast as I can from this as she is playing one incredibly dangerous game thinking "I've gotta do this when I am young. I don't want to get old.". Scarey isn't it. Obviously, there's more than myself worried about this.
I really really don't know what to do and apologies for rambling (it's the minature version aswell) but I'd be glad of any input you could offer. If she sees this (not sure if she is a member) then I'm a dead man for sure, but I'll risk that for the sake of her health and future. Thanks in advance.