[tiffanyfaith86]

Everyday is a struggle for me to get my family i live with to know how important my numbers are. For over 2 years now since i was diagnosed i have tried taking them to education classes, watching dLife, showing them print outs from web-sites that ive researched on, about how insulin needs are for type 1, 2s and 1.5s. And how you need to monitor to keep your blood sugars level, with minimal peeks.. and so on. But the more i tell them i feel they shut me out and they treat me as if im crazy for thinking i could be a 1.5. And everyone from my mom to coworkers tell me, "maybe just dont test, dont inject and eat like a rabbit, and youll be fine, maybe your just to paranoid and that makes them rise" or ill test and be 383, take 8 units of insulin, i had a very bad pain my feet, felt like a toe was broken and was thinking hospital even, so i tested again an hour after and i was 250 and my mom said see its going down, dont need insulin. All i could think was, thats why i do need it, thats the only reason i went down, and still not enough. The next day i just didnt test, then the next and next. Now today i tested in the morning was 230, then 382 before lunch. so i did my humalog the way i HAVE to.

Everytime my family belittles my disease, i tend to do the same and fail with my treatment. But when they show they want me to do good or they ask, whats your numbers. Its like i get so excited and wanna do super good for them.

Am i the only one? or do others feel this way too?

[sugardumplin]

i think that you need to want to do good for yourself. forget what they think. because obviously they dont understand it and arent directly affected by it, so they dont really care about it.

maybe cuz it is so life changing for you that they are afraid of it and the way they deal with it is to shut it out or pretend it isnt there.

but i am telling ya, you dont take care of that now, and they will see how important it WAS for you to take care of it when you start having complications.

give them time, they will come around.

until then, you take care of you girl.

[sarahspins]

Honestly.. and this will go against 99% of what people tell you, DO NOT reach out to your family or friends for support. Unless they are managing this disease and are in tight control, they just don't "get it". Even if they are Dx with the disease themselves, a lot of them live in denial for YEARS before taking it seriously - and it usually takes the onset of some form of complications for them to finally realize that yeah, good control does matter. Their denial is NOT helpful for you at all.

You have to internalize your motivations... you want to have good #'s because you FEEL better when you're in range. You want to have a decent A1C because it validates your hard work every day. You want to STAY healthy so you can live a long productive life... not suffer later for not taking care of yourself now. That's the problem with this disease, when the damage is occuring you're blissfully unaware of it... so most people do have a hard time making the connection between what you do now having a direct impact on your future, becuase the effect is not immediate.

There are far too many people out there who don't take any form of diabetes seriously... and yeah, sure it's easier to ignore it if you're not testing, or testing occationally and not taking that information seriously..but if you want to have your feet and eyesight instact by the time you're 30 (or 40, or 50 and beyond), you wouldn't want to follow their example, KWIM?

I honestly find that my best support comes from online... it seems like those of us who really do have a genuine interest in being in good control, and staying healthy, are unfortunately in the minority...

[foxl]

Most wisdom I have read in a month of Sundays! Excellent post, Sarahspins.

[Ohana]

Perfect example of why we should rely on DF...


Husband:
buys me a snicker's bar while I am painting "because I might NEED it". Not hypo need it really. we got runts and other candies around here for that. nope, I just might WANT it and he thinks he is being sweet. Or when he brings home Mexican food with beans and rice and chips... again, as a "pick me up".... sigh. He always asks what my numbers are and how many units I took, but is SUCH an enabler it's not even funny. I will at least give him the credit of trying to be supportive.

Dad (who has type 2) on a recent trip home:
asking if I want an orange float.. I say something to the effect of "I still have 7/8 of my blizzard that I got last night" He says "boy, you are taking this blood sugar thing seriously. I eat something and my blood sugar goes up to 400 and I am like, Oh well."
I was SPEECHLESS.

He also about fell out of his chair when he asked how many times a day I tested. I think he tests Maybe once or twice a day unless he feels funny.

so yeah, I hear you. These are just the two most recent examples. and every time I slip, I feel like I am reinforcing their notion that what they are saying/doing is okay. I would need to wind up in the hospital for anyone to take me seriously on how important number control is.

[sumi]

Tiffany, It's probably not what you want to hear, but I agree with Sarah. My husband is only polite, not really remotely interested in my numbers. My neighbour and good friend has been my 'reporting post' but lately has intimated that she's getting tired of it. No one that I know is serious about their D. Even my doctor isn't terribly interested. I feel really lucky to have this forum, to check in each day and relate, I can't imagine the loneliness of pre-internet diagnosis. You probably still would have no one to talk to even if the person closest to you is diagnosed. Be strong in yourself.

[foxl]

Yep. Let's face it -- our numbers are BOOOORRRRING to most sane people!

[It Ain't Over]

Originally Posted by sarahspins

There are far too many people out there who don't take any form of diabetes seriously... and yeah, sure it's easier to ignore it if you're not testing, or testing occationally and not taking that information seriously..but if you want to have your feet and eyesight instact by the time you're 30 (or 40, or 50 and beyond), you wouldn't want to follow their example, KWIM?

I honestly find that my best support comes from online... it seems like those of us who really do have a genuine interest in being in good control, and staying healthy, are unfortunately in the minority...

Interesting observation. My daughter works as a nurse at at cardiology clinic. She sees the worst cases,transplant patients and terminal cases. She said the older patients there will do what it takes to survive and live many years.The younger heart failure patients more often than not do not live past a year of treatment. They do not do what is required. They will not accept the limits. They won't do cooperate with the doctors and will not change thier diets, not take the medicines.
Same as we see with so many type 1's and 2's. Seems there are too many that are just traveling down a dark road to their own end. The only answer is to work hard to keep ourselves as healthy as we are able to do. That means accepting the limits the disease puts on us. It may is easier to just let it go for a season, but what about the future?

[MCS]

Hang in there, I am in the same boat. Monster-in-Law's husband had D, now deceased. She tells my wife all the wrong things. End up arguing with my wife about things we really should not argue over, how many times are you going to test today, your becoming obessed with this, you can eat that my D book says you can, one little candy bar wouldn't hurt you, should I go on!

[Marcia K in Fl]

I do not think anyone else gets it because it is not them.

When it is you that has it you have to make the changes. You have to count on only you.

I don't share my numbers unless I am asked and my daughter asks me. Sometimes the hubby does.

Overall though we have cut back on carbs as a family but that is hard with a marathon runner husband. If he is training we go our ways with food.

It is hard to ignore the carbs when they are there and you want them, for sure.

You have you and that is good enough. Oh yes you have all of us at df too!

[tiffanyfaith86]

Originally Posted by It Ain't Over

Interesting observation. My daughter works as a nurse at at cardiology clinic. She sees the worst cases,transplant patients and terminal cases. She said the older patients there will do what it takes to survive and live many years.The younger heart failure patients more often than not do not live past a year of treatment. They do not do what is required. They will not accept the limits. They won't do cooperate with the doctors and will not change thier diets, not take the medicines.
Same as we see with so many type 1's and 2's. Seems there are too many that are just traveling down a dark road to their own end. The only answer is to work hard to keep ourselves as healthy as we are able to do. That means accepting the limits the disease puts on us. It may is easier to just let it go for a season, but what about the future?

I think you have the wrong idea.. I am young but i take darn good care of myself i do all the right things, test 6-8 times a day
take 4 - 6 shots a day, eat to good for everyones liking, they all call me healthy girl. You have to force me to eat a candy bar or have a shake or chips even. Its just my family that will not realize some days i need their help not to go off the deep end and go cry in my bed. Instead when i lash out at them for not helping me by hurrying to go eat dinner early instead of watching my sister sit at the computer, so i could workout early that night and get more the 5 hours sleep. They will just take longer. They end up telling me geez is food that important to you, i wanna yell its not about i need food, its just i wanna get stuff done early so i can workout and do better for my self and my numbers. But they wont comprehend that, until i am in the hospital.

Sometimes i wanna just say forget insulin and let myself go so darn high that i do have to go to the hospital and see what they do. Knowing them they will just tell me, you see, your not taking care of yourself. But when i go low to 40 - 60 and im trying to get an OJ or force myself to eat a candy bar, my mom tells me, you see you dont need insulin. How can i make her understand that i cant live without it?

[tiffanyfaith86]

Originally Posted by MCS

Hang in there, I am in the same boat. Monster-in-Law's husband had D, now deceased. She tells my wife all the wrong things. End up arguing with my wife about things we really should not argue over, how many times are you going to test today, your becoming obessed with this, you can eat that my D book says you can, one little candy bar wouldn't hurt you, should I go on!

no need to go on, i just recently had to up my strip prescription and my mom was just going on and on about you should just not test so much, and you wouldnt need them. My godmother and some aunts of mine, always tells me "i've heard you can drink this tea or this juice and it helps lower your blood sugar and you can get off the meds" and then i ask them the people you know were they on insulin and they say "no" its like i wanna say, well hello! i am and there is no cure for type 1 yet!

[sarahspins]

Originally Posted by tiffanyfaith86

I think you have the wrong idea.. I am young but i take darn good care of myself i do all the right things, test 6-8 times a day
take 4 - 6 shots a day, eat to good for everyones liking, they all call me healthy girl.

I don't think she was trying to call you out or suggest anything about you... but simply making a generalization about a lot of diabetics in general.

I run into it all the time myself.. most medpro's that are not that intimately involved with your D care automatically assume you're not in good control as soon as they find out you're diabetic - because the vast majority of diabetics out there just aren't. It's frustrating because they try to automatically link ANYTHING that may be wrong with you to being diabetic, because with most patients they see, that is typically the case. It's important to note that if it isn't true for you, you will need to be VERY vocal about advocating that your D is not responsible for anything and everything that can be wrong with you. 5 years ago I went to the ER with a spinal injury and they tried to tell me it was "just neuropathy"... as if!

[soso]

Tiff, it just takes time for them to accept it.. it seems so OTT to some people to see what we do, they seem to have to make it smaller so they can deal with it.. I went through it a lot with some of my family at first—it's like they were in denial. I know you prolly want to scream when you are having a low and sort of getting told off at the same time.. but learn to laugh it off and live well. Eventually they might catch on. Most of my nearest and dearest have (not all) but hey, I've got my life to live. (GOT my life)

[EeyoreButterfly]

Tiff, maybe it is a difference in philosophy, but I have no desire to share my numbers. My coworkers are my coworkers. I do not expect them to be supportive. ****, they don't even know I have diabetes and I don't plan on disclosing it unless absolutely necessary. Even if they knew, I would never talk about it with them. They don't care, and nor should they.

As for my loved ones. I still don't share my numbers unless they ask. I always get a kick out of it when they do because the next question is always, "is that good?" My mom is the only one who has a remote understanding- because she works in a hospital and she agrees that my body is doing weird things.

I am the one fighting this battle. Not my family, not my coworkers. There is absolutely no reason to share my numbers with them unless I am low, at which point I just tell them I am low. No other info required. I do not share my treatment with them because it is none of their business and I don't expect them to understand. Honestly, nobody likes the coworker who only talks about their health issues.

As for the situation when you are low, just ignore your mom. Nothing is going to make her understand unless she wants to or battles it herself.