Diabetics AS parents

June91 · #1 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 03:36 PM

I don't know about you, but I have issues now that I never thought I'd have to deal with during the first 12 years of "diabetic internship". I was told that having a baby within the next few years after I was dx'd (I was 19) would probably be the only chance I get! And it was fine with me, because I never wanted kids, not even much later in life.

I admit I never thought seriously enough about the added responsibility of raising a child, when keeping myself healthy was and still is a full-time job. And then SHE happened out of the blue when I was 31, and miracle of miracles, everything went fine even though I spent the nine months of pregnancy and gave birth in a country with no trained endocrinologist. (You heard right, an entire country!)

No regrets, don't get me wrong, it's just that I guess that we tend to be more realistic about our own mortality (or anyway the fact that the body is a fragile piece of equipment). I now keep thinking things like will I eventually become a burden to her, will I get to see her get married, will I get to be a grandma...

So does anybody else feel even more overwhelmed as a diabetic as opposed to a "regular" parent? I forgot to mention I'm also divorced and have no moral, financial or any kind of support from my ex.

Keezheekoni · #2 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 04:42 PM

I'm a mom of five and actually never really thought about my kids' futures in having to care for me. I guess because I've seen most of my family members who were/are diabetics be just fine when they got older...

I really believe that if I keep myself healthy and do the "right" thing for me, then I will be around for my kids for a long time. I do have a supportive family structure though, and I don't know how I'd be feeling if my husband decided to leave.

Cinnabon · #3 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 04:52 PM

I am right where U are right now and Im enjoying my daughter to the fullest. had her at 19 and would have loved to have had 1 more, but I have a lot more than Diabetes now. I do feel exactly like u at times, but she always tells me that My strength and courage makes me , her "HERO"!
Look up my latest posts about my recent problem with my sight.
Enjoy your child...
I feel like Diabetes will not stop me, on its own, yet my retinopathy, might. Other things that have occured, might also.

Lex4153 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 05:44 PM

My doc told me to have kids no later than my early twenties . . . I think that's complete ****. I'm 22 and I'm nowhere near ready.

Infosec · #5 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 05:51 PM

June91 - You mentioned mortality. I never gave that much thought until I was diagnosed a few weeks ago, it hit me very hard!!!!!! I am not a parent, my wife and I do however have two dogs that are so spoiled they think they are kids. As of now, we don't plan to have kids...

I have a lot of respect for you single parents! I have a lot of days I feel overwhelmed and I am not even a parent!

Cinnabon - it is very clear that your daughter loves you very much, and by the way, you are a hero to a lot of people here!

gettingby · #6 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 07:53 PM

June91, I had my daughter at the age of 19. It was about 6 years after being diagnosed.
We all worry and fear our own mortality. Just take care of yourself and you can live almost as long as a non diabetic (if not longer). Don't worry about whether you will some day be a burden on her. Enjoy the time you have together and let what happens in the future, happen.

am1977 · #7 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 08:03 PM

I am having a hard time with what your doctor told you

. I think that plenty of Diabetics have children past their twenties and, ultimately, are okay in the long run... I am 28 and would like to have a child one day, but I know that right now would not be the right time for me. I think not only do you have to be physically ready to have and bring up a child, but I think you also have to reach a mental readiness as well. Otherwise, I think it's not the best situation on you or the child.

It's true that no one really knows what is in store for them in the future, but that's what makes enjoying and living each day fully so important. I know it sounds corny, but we really do need to make the most of each day we are given. Those fears you have seem pretty normal, but don't let them interfere with the time you do have with your daughter and loved ones. And, don't forget, with technology and new treatments and medical care becoming available every day, I think we will be seeing diabetics live longer, healthier, and happier lives... It's extremely possible that you will see your daughter go through all those life moments that you want to be there for if you continue to take care of yourself as best as possible.

Take care

Cinnabon · #8 (**permalink**) 07-31-2006, 08:31 PM

I forgot to mention, I was told I was sterile by an Endo!!!!
13 years later, I DONT THINK SO!!!! LOL

Fred&CharlesFan · #9 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 03:16 AM

Worry not about tomorrow; today has enough challenges of it's own.
I am a father of two. I do not know if I will be hit by a car on my commute to work in 2 hrs, or if my end will come due to a failing heart after holding my daughter's son's son. I am OK with that; it is not in my hands.
What is in my hands is: -looking after my health; can't be a good parent and be hypoglycemic all the time!!
And teaching them to be excellent citizens in the world. Teach them about this condition, and they will delight to be able to help you; my son is the family's official pump extra-supplies bag carrier!
The added responsibilities of being a "diabetic" parent, I think, is not in the equation. The only thing I don't do with my children is participate WITH THEM in the ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT-PANCAKES-AND-MAPLE-SYRUP Fireman's fundraiser.
Love your children; they are blessings.

June91 · #10 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 06:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lex4153

My doc told me to have kids no later than my early twenties . . . I think that's complete ****. I'm 22 and I'm nowhere near ready.

Here's one reason why I know that is utter **** - she was born 12 years after I was dx'd and I wasn't even on the pump...

Attachment 1583

Cinnabon · #11 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 06:45 AM

Beautiful !!!! You added just the right amount of Sugar!! LOL
She truly is beautiful....

I have a few "teen headaches" on my hands..

June91 · #12 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 07:06 AM

Hey Cinnabon, you sneaky thing... You did your homework

on time and now you've got yourself a friend that you can send to her room if she's too cheeky - how clever is that

Georgia · #13 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 09:33 AM

Awww, they are both beautiful girls

Keezheekoni · #14 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 09:38 AM

So, we all had a daughter when we were 19? My first daughter is now 14, I guess you can tell how old I am now. LOL Here's my teen headache!
Tani.jpg

Mich · #15 (**permalink**) 08-01-2006, 10:19 AM

I was 28 and 33 when my daughters were born. The first pregnancy was before I had a blood sugar meter, I had to go on guesswork. I had been diabetic for 16 years at that time. For the second daughter, I had a meter. Both pregnancies were surprises but went well--about the same as my friends who were non-diabetic and pregnant at the time. I kept my sugar as level and normal as possible. I took vitamins and avoided caffeine, catboxes and solvents...bla bla bla. Both girls were big babies, but are normal sized adults. Neither has diabetes.

After my second daughter, I had a big dose of worry about how long I would last--would I get to see her graduate, get married, etc. Just for reference, my non-diabetic friend was going through the same fears about her new baby. It all settled down when my hormones became normal. She's 25 now and my older daughter is 30. (I'm laughing at the "teenager"comments--thank goodness I'm past THAT!)

With today's methods of controlling diabetes, there is no reason to not expect a healthy pregnancy and long life. I encourage all of you who are hesitant to get that sugar leveled out and go for it unless there are other compelling reasons why you should not.

Mich