Dealing with misbehaviour in Diabetic children.

aussie mum · #1 (**permalink**) 12-13-2005, 06:41 PM

Hi everyone,

I just want your advice about dealing with misbehaviour. I just need to explain a few things to you to show where I am coming from.

I have 7 chiildren. My eldest three are picked on a lot at school and bullied. It isn't really anything serious just name calling and trying to push buttons to get a reaction and have a laugh. Last week my eldest child stood up to one of the bullies and ended up having a fight with him.

The child called my son a faggot. Daniel went over to him and said what did you call me and the kid said I called you a faggot so Daniel pushed him. The child was a bit anoyed at this and went to push him back but Daniel moved out of the way so this kid ended up falling over and embarrasing himself. This only enraged him more so he really started laying into Daniel but because Daniel was the bigger kid, the other child ended up more hurt.

One of the children that is bullying is a diabetic and I am friendly with his mother. She is really lovely and her daughter is too but this kid sounds like he is always in trouble. He has a reputation and because of this reputation many kids rang up on Friday night saying to Daniel hey that is so great that you stood up to him and really encouraged him in his behaviour. While I am glad that Daniel did stand up to him I also don't want to encourage him to fight other children. I don't want him to be proud of his behaviour.

Anyway, I am getting away from the topic a bit here but I am thinking that the reason the child is like he is is because of lack of consequences being dealt out when he does something wrong. I know that Tom's behaviour is harder for us to manage because when he has a tantrum about something we really don't know if he is being off because his sugars are off or if he is being obnoxious. I am scared though that if I don't deal with him being obnoxious that he will become like this other child. I really don't want to have a bully for a child. But I also don't want to go diciplining Tom for a tantrum when it is happening because his sugars are out. KWIM?

So any advise would be appreciated.

God bless
Therese

discordia · #2 (**permalink**) 12-13-2005, 06:49 PM

The mother may use the low BG excuse, but I wouldn't fall for it. He is still responsible for himself. If it were my son I wouldn't do a thing about it. I know it sounds wrong, but your boy IMO didn't do anything wrong. A kid can only take so much, especially if he's seen his siblings subjected to ridicule. I wouldn't worry too much about him turning into a bully either, if anything it'll give him some confidence he may not have had before. I think most bullies are taught that at home, your's are probably fine children I'm sure. Just the fact that you are talking about it and seeking opinions shows you care.

Cinnabon · #3 (**permalink**) 12-13-2005, 08:10 PM

your kid was simply defending himself. Being a diabetic and an adolescent, having uncontrolled BS levels cause all kinds of mood swings, especially at this kids age. Its really hard to deal with, but just simply being this age is hard as well. I think bringing it to the mother's attention is going to be a bit tough, but she must understand. I would bring it to her attention as a cause for concern. I would also mention this website, she might want to join in and we can be able to help as well. Good luck!

rzrbks · #4 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 08:24 AM

You didn't mention the age of the Juvenile Delinquent or of your son.

I taught school for nearly 20 years, if this type of behavior is happening at the lower levels (12--15 yrs old) then, while it's normal, it's wrong and must be corrected.

If at the higher levels, it needs to be stopped Soonest----these aged children are close to being out on their own and the type of bullying portrayed is a sure road to non-success in life.

What your son did was commendable, he did what was needed with the minimum of force and that is always a good thing.

Also, simply because the Juvenile Delinquent is with Diabetes is no excuse for that behavior---the sooner that child learns that he is responsible for much of his action, the sooner he will begin to learn to grow up.

He may not be responsible for how he feels but he is For Certain responsible for how he acts.

An Extreme example would be; is it OK to sexuallly hassle girls because he "feels 'That Way' " ?

Of course not, so why should any other reprehensible behavior be acceptable?

gettingby · #5 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rzrbks

You didn't mention the age of the Juvenile Delinquent or of your son.

I taught school for nearly 20 years, if this type of behavior is happening at the lower levels (12--15 yrs old) then, while it's normal, it's wrong and must be corrected.

If at the higher levels, it needs to be stopped Soonest----these aged children are close to being out on their own and the type of bullying portrayed is a sure road to non-success in life.

What your son did was commendable, he did what was needed with the minimum of force and that is always a good thing.

Also, simply because the Juvenile Delinquent is with Diabetes is no excuse for that behavior---the sooner that child learns that he is responsible for much of his action, the sooner he will begin to learn to grow up.

He may not be responsible for how he feels but he is For Certain responsible for how he acts.

An Extreme example would be; is it OK to sexuallly hassle girls because he "feels 'That Way' " ?

Of course not, so why should any other reprehensible behavior be acceptable?

RZR, my man, WELL SAID !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rzrbks · #6 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 10:25 AM

Merci beaucoup, mon frère diabétique.

gettingby · #7 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rzrbks

Merci beaucoup, mon frère diabétique.

Now, Merci beaucoup I remember from my high school days. What's the last part. I know it's something diabetic.

aussie mum · #8 (**permalink**) 12-14-2005, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rzrbks

You didn't mention the age of the Juvenile Delinquent or of your son.

I taught school for nearly 20 years, if this type of behavior is happening at the lower levels (12--15 yrs old) then, while it's normal, it's wrong and must be corrected.

If at the higher levels, it needs to be stopped Soonest----these aged children are close to being out on their own and the type of bullying portrayed is a sure road to non-success in life.

What your son did was commendable, he did what was needed with the minimum of force and that is always a good thing.

Also, simply because the Juvenile Delinquent is with Diabetes is no excuse for that behavior---the sooner that child learns that he is responsible for much of his action, the sooner he will begin to learn to grow up.

He may not be responsible for how he feels but he is For Certain responsible for how he acts.

An Extreme example would be; is it OK to sexuallly hassle girls because he "feels 'That Way' " ?

Of course not, so why should any other reprehensible behavior be acceptable?

The child that is picking on my children is 12 and my son that stood up to him is nearly 14.

Thanks for your reply. It has made me realize the difference between my son and this other child with diabetes.

My diabetic child is 5 and while we haven't had any trouble with him at school picking on or fighting with others, we have had a few instances that he has hit his siblings. The difference between Tom and this other child is that even though his sugars are out, we still give him a consequence. He still has to go to time out and apologise to the child he has hit after.

I haven't spoken with the mother about this but I am aware of another parent that has. I will speak with her next time I see her and say something along the lines that I would like to know if my children are picking on someone so just wanted to let you know also.

God bless
Therese

Erin · #9 (**permalink**) 12-15-2005, 08:25 PM

I'm not a parent but as far as the, how do you discipline a child who you're not sure is acting off b/c their bg is off vs they're just being obnoxious? question is concerned, my mother had it quite well. (This is when I was an older kid, middle school and up... I was a really quiet child... never really had an issue with discipline when I was younger)

"Go get your blood sugar monitor RIGHT NOW! If your blood sugar is above 70, GO TO YOUR ROOM! If it is below 70, go get some orange juice, sit quietly, and drink it."

I used to PRAY for low blood sugars at those times, but usually I was just being obnoxious.

Funny tho, if I WAS low I'd start screaming at her that I wasn't low I was just pissed off at her. She learned to take that as a clear indication that I needed food more than punishment.

-Erin

Belinda · #10 (**permalink**) 12-22-2005, 06:45 AM

Bullies are just that...BULLIES. If your son stood up to the bully then chances are that kid won't bother yours again but find someone else to torment. I see this often in the middle school and usually a office referal or a call home solves the problem....as for the diabetic 5 year old....hitting siblings...I think that is sibling rivalry (been a while since my sisters and I got into a hit/slap/yelling match...LOL). Just because the child is diabetic does not excuse their behavior. If anything you are teaching them to rely on the diabetes to excuse the behavior. Deal with the behavior just like you would a non diabetic child. I teach special ed and sometimes the autistic or down's syndrome child we correct understand completely. The other students around us are like ......why did you do that you know they don't understand......it takes us explaining to them the method and then they realize more and more they are more normal than they realize. It is really good for peer bonding.

archimeech · #11 (**permalink**) 12-22-2005, 08:42 AM

My dear mother of 7! You know my wife is the youngest of 7. Her mother didn't put up with any **** from her kids. they are all respectful and honest individuals. Diabetes is not an excuse, but it is a worry to any parent that has to deal with it. I was diagnosed at 13 so I didn't have the younger years to contend with. Razer is right, there is no excuse for bad behavior and your older son did what I would have done at his age. It is commendable to stand up for yourself, however, he may be going through more issues that need your attention than the 5 year old. My 7 year old daughter still tries our patience and at that tender age, they are more emotional and less rational. The 14 year old on the other hand is a different issue. Your 5 year old will learn by his big brother's example. As long as they both understand the simple phrase my father taught to me as a child they will be all right. He would say, "Son, Only a true man can keep himself from starting a fight, but he should also be the one to end any fight brought upon him."