| Stress eating and food demons
I’ve been slightly overweight since about age 20, but really packed on the pounds during my first pregnancy which of course I never lost. Then, 6 years ago my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Stress eating became an everyday thing. Grazing over the sink because he could not stand the smell or sight of food and I didn’t want to eat in front of him. He’d say “Boy, pasta sure sounds good” and off I would go making a high calorie, high fat, high carb meal because HE was withering away in front of me and needed those calories. Of course, he would eat one bite and it wouldn’t taste good. Guess who ate the leftovers?? One year later he lost his battle with cancer and I packed on even more weight as I slid into a 3 year battle of my own-the dark world of depression.
So here I am with about 120 pounds to lose.
Until this diabetes “thing” slapped me in the face I honestly did not realize that I had a relationship with food. As I am becoming more aware of my bodies signals (along with my trusty meter) (headache and hungry=BS low, headache and tired=BS high) and looking at food as FUEL I am realizing how often and easy it was for me to reach for food for comfort.
So, as with many other relationships, this one is changing.
It’s funny. 2 years ago in the depth of despair and murky depression I wanted nothing more than for my life to end, and end it I tried to do. At my lowest point, I almost did. Now, today, 2 years later facing my food demons I am ready to fight for my life.
I still feel like I don’t quite know what I am doing with the dietary changes I am making. I’m sure I am making some mistakes. But I’ll tell you what, what is going in my mouth is very different than what I was shoveling in 2 months ago.  | 
Linear Mode
