[colleen]

I'm starting the pump (Cozmore) next week and up until last night have been very excited about the pump and lack of shots.
I've just finished a week with a practice pump w/ saline solution to learn to work everything and all of the alarms, and absolutely loved it and got really excited about life post MDI and was even planning my first shot-free meal.
But last night I just wanted it off and ever since have been left with kind of a depressed feeling about starting next week rather the excitement I was feeling. Did anyone else go through some swinging emotions before starting or when they started? I registered ont his sight b/c I thought it might help to talk with others oing through the same experience...

[notme]

The pump was first suggested to me by my doctor in 1998 and I really was not interested. I said all of the same things that I hear from other people who were conflicted about pumping. "I don't want the constant reminder, I don't want to be connected to something 24/7, I worry about sleeping with a pump on". I said them all. Finally, in 2001 my doctor went out of her way to get me connected with a doctor who would get me on the pump. I did it more to shut her up than anything. I still wasn't really excited about it. I started on the pump (with insulin) on Christmas day in 2001. Since that day, I have never looked back. My control was much better and it was easier to figure out how to not stack insulin and go low. (I still do that sometimes). Once I got going on the pump, I never looked back.

I say continue on your journey. It is only another insulin delivery method. It makes things easier and in time you won't even notice you are wearing it. It just becomes part of you. Don't over think it colleen. Just keep moving forward.

[fgummett]

Hey Collen and Welcome to DF! I don't recall feeling that way prior to pumping but I am a techno-geek so couldn't wait to get started With that said I think what you are feeling is perfectly natural and I will admit there are days (not too often) that I do feel like throwing the darn thing at a wall... it seems to be a permanent fixture and can sometimes serve as a constant reminder that D is going to be with me probably for the rest of my life Then I usually shrug and just get on with it and before I know it something else has come along to make my day that much better... often seeing my 17 year old son is all that it takes

[Subby]

I can understand the idea of a "dummy run" but until you actually are reaping the benefit and "in the thick of things" it's highly doubtful anyone would actually enjoy something stuck to them 24 hours... Imagine taking injections without insulin for days on end, after a while you'd excessively worry about and focus on the annoyance of it, yes? While not reaping the huge saving grace... some semblance of normal BG, and, well, life.

I think your reaction sounds completely natural and is an indication you might be just getting ahead of yourself a bit. You just can't experience or start to judge the pump until it's doing it's thing. For many like me the pump becomes a great companion and any inconvenience is far outstripped by all sorts of freedom it gives. The great majority of pumpers really don't seem that worried by its constant presence, I really think that was probably caused by jitters and pressure.

To feel trepidation, swinging emotions, perfectly understandable... it's a big move. It's an emotional time, stranger still because you might find not many people quite understand fully what the change means to you.

Best to relax and stop thinking about it too much... at this stage it's just "going to happen" and if it really is that bad (which I very much doubt) you have every option as before. Enjoy the anticipation as well as the rest of it...

[colleen]

Imagine taking injections without insulin for days on end, after a while you'd excessively worry about and focus on the annoyance of it, yes?"

yes, thats a really good point, I've learned how to operate the pump but haven't experienced it in full yet.

thanks for the quick replies- I was feeling kind of overwhelemed. I'll try and remind myself of all of your sucess stories between now and next week when i start.

[Gordonm]

It is normal to be a little worried about change. I never thought aout it and never looked back. I do not mind being hooked up and never even think about it. There are a few times where it is a little inconvient but you learn to overcome all of that real quickly. You would have to pry it out of my hands now to get me off this. For me it was and is way better than shots. You will learn to love it. I feel strange when it is not on me now.

[judi t]

Just started pumoing a week ago today. Even though my BGs have been far from ideal, the pump is great. I feel liberated, despite the infusion set and the little pump nestling in its special place. I'm still sorting out my basals, but already I have noticed how wonderful the pump is. Glad I didn't have to do the saline dummy run though. It was better to just take the plunge. And what have you got to lose? If it doesn't work for you you can always return to MDI.

[fgummett]

I am happy for you Judi... sounds like you are off to a great start! Once you get the basals sorted it all starts to fall into a much better place

[mortis505]

Apprehension is normal. I was a bit apprehensive myself before starting but once I did I couldn't believe the control. You can hide the ting completely from anyone else if you want and, its easier to find a discreet place to bolus with compared to using syringes.

[judi t]

Originally Posted by mortis505

You can hide the ting completely from anyone else if you want and, its easier to find a discreet place to bolus with compared to using syringes.

Absolutely! I was supervising a year 8 exam today and the pump buzzed so I checked my BG. I needed a correction bolus. No problem. I just turned away from the class briefly and pressed the required buttons. All sorted. I could never have managed that on MDI.

[Subby]

It's funny to hear someone being the "exam supervisor" talk about diabetes management and convenience, I've only ever thought about it from the "exam sufferer" point of view I used to love going through all the jumps and hoops of "yes, I am allowed some juice, no the BG tester is not a cheating computer..." etc etc...

[VinceF]

I was exicted to start but soon found I missed shots. I know it sounds crazy but after 38 years of shots. I missed them. I don't miss them at all now as a matter of fact I wish I had a pump long ago.

-Dave

[Leadfoone]

I was pretty excited from the time the doctor first recommended it. I do feel a little weird sometimes... I have long tubing because I like to put the pump in my pocket and I cut holes in my pants pockets to stick the tubing through. A few times I have been caught going into the bathroom in the middle of the night and getting the tubing looped on the doorknob. Almost killed myself a couple of times doing that... the infusion sets are very strong. Other than that i love it and I hate to be without it.

[Eddy]

Originally Posted by Subby

I can understand the idea of a "dummy run" but until you actually are reaping the benefit and "in the thick of things" it's highly doubtful anyone would actually enjoy something stuck to them 24 hours...

Excellent point. She currently has the drawbacks of both MDI and pumping, without the benefits of pumping.

[SGT Shoutmore]

Yes, I went through a wide range of emotions. What to expect was the biggest, I had had crappy success with MDI, was on way more insulin than I had actually needed, felt sick all the time, however, I had high hopes for what the pump would do for me, the weeks that followed my having gone "live" with it, fortunately, proved the pump to be everything that I had hoped for.

If you think you're stressed now, wait until the BIG BOX with a bunch of smaller boxes inside arrive, you will have mroe to mess with, read, etc that you will know what to do with at first. On the other hand, it is kind of like christmas as well, so, it evens it out.