[notme]

Pie crust is easy.

For a double pie crust use
2 cups flour,
1 cup of Crisco,
pinch of salt and
6TBS of ICE water (not tap temp).

Use two knifes and cut through the dough (or use a pie crust tool) don't handle the dough with your hands or it will get tough. When dough is cut up to the size of peas, add 6 tbls of ICE water and cut it in (still no hands on dough). Push all the dough together with your hands until it just forms a ball. Don't handle dough to much. Form one big ball and then split in half for top and bottom crust. Roll out dough on wax paper. Make sure to put flour on wax paper bottom and top of dough ball before rolling out. If you put water on the counter and then wax paper on the top, it will stop the paper and dough from sliding around. Place in your pie dish and poke holes in the bottom of the dough for vents. Put in filling and then top with your other flattened half of pie dough. VOILA.....very light and flakey dough.

[xMenace]

The first and only time I tried to make a chocolate cake from scratch was a total disaster. I can't remember exactly what I did, but it was a metric mixup. It called for something like two cups of flour and I put in two litres or kg. I ended up with one huge hockey puck!

[Peggy]

Dar, the shrimp pizza was with regular tomato based sauce and mozzarella cheese. In the years since I've thought that maybe an alfredo type, or even cocktail sauce rather than the regular pizza sauce with a different kind of cheese might work. But after that first disaster I don't even want to try it!

[srpkinja]

here it goes:
frozen pollock, 2 lbs (one that releases a lot of liquid when it melts)
salt, pepper
1/2 cup of water (very BAD idea)
oil
few slices of lemon
bread crumbs all over
------
bake for 30 mins

you'll get mashed something with bitter/fishy taste!
not even my cats wanted to try it, let alone my family

[dar917]

Originally Posted by Peggy

Dar, the shrimp pizza was with regular tomato based sauce and mozzarella cheese. In the years since I've thought that maybe an alfredo type, or even cocktail sauce rather than the regular pizza sauce with a different kind of cheese might work. But after that first disaster I don't even want to try it!

Hmmm, perhaps I shall have to make one and tell you if it's any good.

Oh, now I remember another epic cooking failure. I once tried to make an 8x8 in. cake using Equal instead of sugar. I think that was a square hockey puck.

[Peggy]

I think we've all had failures when first experimenting with substituting equal or splenda in baking! My first attempt was a banana bread that was good for nothing but a doorstop!

[dar917]

I tried making cherry truffles for Christmas. Didn't use enough powdered sugar though so they get too soft too fast. The recipe I was going off of just said "enough powdered sugar to make it a thick consistency".

I think I'll use the goo to frost chocolate cookies and cupcakes instead.

[Old man]

Salmon ring. The recipe called for rice. I swear it never said cooked rice. My wife said I was supposed to know. It looked somewhat like a porcupine and even I couldn't eat it with the uncooked rice. Also any recipe that calls for sugar or syrup to be cooked to the softball stage. It is always either like glass or adhesive. Many years ago before I had aspired to my current comfortable level of poverty I bought several old hens, molting and too old to lay, er... the hens that is. I guess you would call them menopausal. My first wife simply fried one. I'll bet some future archeologist will find that tough old bird someday. Pardon me for being so bold as to offer culinary advice but think twice before using any recipe calling for vienna sausage, sardines, or potted meat. That's my tip for the day.