Update:

nicole · #1 (**permalink**) 12-08-2008, 03:06 PM

I went to this place called Akron Pregnancy Services today and talked to a lady about my choice, and they talked to Bobby also.

Bobby and I talked some more about it and we are both 50/50 on it now.

So once again I have changed my mind and now I'm not sure AGAIN.
Bobby has said that he's going to be there no matter what, so its up to me now.

I'll keep you all updated again. SORRY for doing that to everyone.

I don't know.. I'm going to talk to someone about abortion Thursday. Then I'll have both sides and I'll be able to make my for sure decision after that.

My mind right about now is running circles, and its blank at the same time..

lorilei · #2 (**permalink**) 12-08-2008, 03:09 PM

awww nicole! If you can talk to someone who has actually been through the abortion experience, i think that person would have a better handle on it than those of us who are just "observers." Good luck the next few days...

Evermont · #3 (**permalink**) 12-08-2008, 03:10 PM

In a previous life I was a carpenter of sorts.

We have a saying: Measure twice, cut once.

You might make a good carpenter and/or mommy.

Hang in there kiddo - you'll figure this out.

jillrapp · #4 (**permalink**) 12-08-2008, 03:42 PM

Whatever you decide, Nicole. I am on YOUR side.

xo - Jill

Keezheekoni · #5 (**permalink**) 12-08-2008, 05:26 PM

Nicole, I understand the overwhelming decision that you're having to make... I think it'd be a good time to get your parents' imput. Honestly if my daughter were pregnant, I know that I'd be the first person she'd tell (of course, she's on depo and I take her in to get the shot...), but once she's on her own, I do know that she'd tell me first.

If you trust and love your parents, I think that they should be a listening board for you.

Cassini · #6 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 03:22 AM

Nicole, I am so sorry for you going through such a hard time. Making life changing decisions are very hard and all the choices you have must have you going in circles for sure.

Just wanted to let you know that I too am on your side whatever choice you make,

You are in my thoughts and prayers while you go through this all,

Cass

alicat61 · #7 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 03:59 AM

Hi Nicole,
It is good that you are speaking to people about your options.
Also that you and Bobby are doing it together.
I too think you should discuss it with your parents yours and Bobby's before you make a final decision.
As others have said what ever decision you make I too am on your side

lugnut48 · #8 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 07:25 AM

I agree with Rikki - talk to your parents. They may be mad at first (I know I would be), but I'm sure they'll warm up.

Good luck with your decision. Hopefully you'll choose the right one for everyone involved, and not just yourself. Life is so much bigger than just you, your boyfriend or your parents - I can promise you that.

Psycho Penguin · #9 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 09:04 AM

Since you posted this here publically, I would usually criticize you publically, but I'll probably get nasty responses again, so I won't. Just know that not everyone agrees with what you're doing and making daily topics about it isn't convincing anyone who thinks the way I do right now.

hodgsonsurvivor · #10 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 09:20 AM

I want to start by saying "Good luck". You'll need every ounce of strength you can muster no matter what you decide. However, unless you are convinced that carrying this child to term will cause you to physically/emotionally/mentally suffer beyond what can be healed, then maybe you should focus on being healthy and delivering a healthy baby. You do not have to decide who will raise it at this juncture in your life, but if you think you may want to keep him or her, now's a good time to start planning. Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control, but I will not judge you either way. I believe in prevention. But now that you are pregnant, I think you are so for a reason and I'd hate to think of what you could be passing up or what plan you may alter because you decided you weren't ready to give birth.

lugnut48 · #11 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 11:33 AM

Unfortunately Kristina, this is the case. She has said in a previous post, that she doesn't want to bring "a baby into this world when neither" of them "have a job right now." To me, that sounds like a financial decision and makes it sound that the baby would be too much of a burden financially.

When will people learn - you're almost NEVER financially ready to raise a kid? You make things work, regardless of your income level.

And Penguin - I agree. I'd love to unleash a fury of tongue lashings for even the consideration of aborting it because of a financial inconvenience, but I can't and won't.

hodgsonsurvivor · #12 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hodgsonsurvivor

I want to start by saying "Good luck". You'll need every ounce of strength you can muster no matter what you decide. However, unless you are convinced that carrying this child to term will cause you to physically/emotionally/mentally suffer beyond what can be healed, then maybe you should focus on being healthy and delivering a healthy baby. You do not have to decide who will raise it at this juncture in your life, but if you think you may want to keep him or her, now's a good time to start planning. Abortion should not be used as a form of birth control, but I will not judge you either way. I believe in prevention. But now that you are pregnant, I think you are so for a reason and I'd hate to think of what you could be passing up or what plan you may alter because you decided you weren't ready to give birth.

Oh...I wanted to add...you're already a mom, so don't think that anything you do from here on out will change that fact.

mell1682 · #13 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 07:21 PM

I'm so sorry it's such a difficult decision to make. No matter what happens, I honestly just hope you're at peace with it and that you let nobody make you feel bad for your choice cuz til we've walked in your shoes, we cannot possibly know where you are coming from. Sending hugs and positive thoughts your way Nicole! I'm always here for ya!

nicole · #14 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 10:52 PM

If I didn't want to hear what you all have to say I would have never posted this thread!

I posted it to get your advice and thoughts on it.. for example wether some of you would do it or not, or maybe some of you have and I wanted to know how it made you feel afterwards..

Not to be criticized for keeping my options open.

Like I've said before, the decision I make will affect Bobby and I, and only Bobby and I. And for that matter it's really going to affect me more than Bobby anyways.

I appreciate all the advice and criticism I'm receiving, more so the advice than the criticism.. but anyways if you feel the need to lash out at me for keeping my options open, feel free to do so. It won't influence me or make me feel anymore bad than I already do.

But at this time in my life I feel like this is something I can't handle right now.

And you mean to tell me that if you were living with your b/f in your parents house, you didn't have a job, or ANY WAY to even support YOURSELF much less a baby you would STILL have the baby?!?!?

My take on it is if I'm going to carry a baby for NINE MONTHS of my life then I'm sure as heck going to keep it!! Do you men realize how attached women get during that 9 months??!!??

Sure that baby may not be here physically, but it will be soon enough. I'm sorry I'm not going to carry a baby for 9 months of my life then turn around and give it up, no in that case i'm going to keep it if I go nine months carrying it . So no, adoption is not an option.

I'm happy for the people that could have theirs, and keep them. But times are different now and things have changed. You don't think I feel bad enough about it, well news flash.. I DO!

I don't want to abort it, but right now its whats best for me.

I'll continue to hear what you have to say, but I can't promise that it will change my mind.

** And by the way.. I'm going Thursday to an abortion clinic to TALK to someone about it, not actually have it done. I want to hear from both sides what their take on it is before I go and make a final decision.

JediSkipdogg · #15 (**permalink**) 12-09-2008, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole

Like I've said before, the decision I make will affect Bobby and I, and only Bobby and I. And for that matter it's really going to affect me more than Bobby anyways.

Actually, it affects you, bobby, and the life of that child inside of you. So it affects 3 people and you seem to be thinking about yourself more than that of the child. You can find a way to make it work. Get a job now and start saving the money.