When The Honeymoon Is Over?

gettingby · #1 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:03 AM

Ok people, need some advice here. How do you help someone who goes into denial once the honeymoon is over? I've never had this problem as I was treated with oral medications that quickly stopped any insulin production I had in the beginning. What do you say to help someone in this situation?
Thanks.

corwin · #2 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:10 AM

When you said "denial" you mean not taking insulin at all or not taking and testing enough? If T1 isn't taking insulin at all then they'll come out of denial soon enough when they are hospitalized with DKA. If they just don't take enough insulin or don't test enough I would give them few articles and personal stories of what happens to people who have a1c as bad as theirs for a while.

gettingby · #3 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:17 AM

I don't think this person is taking their insulin. I'm actually asking this question to help out a friend. It is a friend of hers and she's at her wits end on how to help so any suggestions are appreciated.

DeusXM · #4 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:30 AM

Here's how I've suggested dealing with denial before on this forum. Be careful, it's a bit brutal! Incidentally, this is copied and pasted and is addressing directly a poster facing the same problem, so obviously change the pronouns as necessary:

It's a question of motivation. Sure, I know what it's like. Treating diabetes is **** hard work and in all honesty it always seems like there's very little reward, right? There's no immediate 'well done' when you do something right, and there's no immediate punishment when you do something wrong.

But my god, is there a long-term punishment.

Get yourself to a diabetes clinic and sit in the waiting room for an hour. Look at the people who come in. See the ones missing a leg, the ones who've gone blind. See the ones who need to be wired up to an oxygen tank just so that they can breathe, and see the panic that sets in when their tube falls out.

These are people who didn't treat their diabetes properly

I've seen all these people whilst waiting to see my diabetes team, and there is no greater encouragement to acheive good control than the terrifying fear of what will happen if you don't. The lady in the wheelchair on the oxygen frightened me so much that I lived in state of near permanent hypo for the next 3 weeks.

I know it's a really nasty tactic, but shock tactics really work. The problem with diabetes is that it's very hard to acknowledge the damage it can do in the long-term because no-one's got that ability of foresight. However, seeing the problems firsthand, combined with the knowledge that every single one of them can be avoided, is an excellent carrot and stick combination for motivation.

I promise that there is no greater motivation than seeing the fallout of ignoring diabetes. If you don't treat your diabetes, you WILL lose a leg. You WILL lose your sight.

And that's if you're lucky.

Now, I know that you know you have to treat your diabetes. But it's all very well 'knowing' that, and seeing the results of what happens if you don't right in front of you. Having some tangible result in front of you will help provide you with the motivation. You say you need someone on your back to make you take care of yourself. There's only one person who can do that for you, and that's you. Make sure that you can trust yourself.

E-NICE · #5 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:39 AM

When I was diagnosed there was not any denial. There was fear and anger, but after seeing my mother as well both grandmothers die from diabetes. I got with the program real quick.

gettingby · #6 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 08:42 AM

E-Nice, I am so sorry for your losses.
Deus, I knew I could count on you.

dkev · #7 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 07:06 PM

I always knew I was going to get diabetes, both parents are type 2, and I have many other relatives that have it. So it was of no great shock. My attitude is this, there is no point getting depressed, frustrated or ticked off. Because when your all done going through these emotions and feeling sorry for yourself, you still have diabetes and you still have to take your insulin. Oh, and as far as motivation? My uncle was a type 1 also. He didn't take care of it and it took his leg, then his kidneys, then his life. All the motivation I need. As harsh as it sounds, and I apologize, when your a diabetic denial is suicide the hard way.

gettingby · #8 (**permalink**) 10-09-2006, 07:09 PM

I agree with you completely dkev. My hubby's mother lost both of her feet and then her eye sight before diabetes finally took her life. She just wouldn't do what they told her needed to be done. I'm just glad that we didn't have to watch her slowly killing herself (his parents divorced about 16 years before she died).

2high · #9 (**permalink**) 10-10-2006, 03:22 AM

Cin thanks for doing this. Ur beautiful and I love you. -xx-

Guys, thanks for all your suggestions... but he's somewhere... God knows I hope its hospital... extremely ill with full-blown DKA.

So for now, until I know more and can let you know, can u pray for my friend James??

Stuboy · #10 (**permalink**) 10-10-2006, 04:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dkev

I always knew I was going to get diabetes, both parents are type 2, and I have many other relatives that have it. So it was of no great shock. My attitude is this, there is no point getting depressed, frustrated or ticked off. Because when your all done going through these emotions and feeling sorry for yourself, you still have diabetes and you still have to take your insulin. Oh, and as far as motivation? My uncle was a type 1 also. He didn't take care of it and it took his leg, then his kidneys, then his life. All the motivation I need. As harsh as it sounds, and I apologize, when your a diabetic denial is suicide the hard way.

Agreed! Some people didn't understand why i wasn't depressed and were "shocked" that i was taking it "so well" when i was diagnosed. But what's the point? Moping around and feeling sorry for yourself isn't going to change the fact that you have diabetes. Best to deal with it now and live a better life later!! My granded was type 1 and he had both legs amputated from knees down. At the time i didn't know why he had no legs (i was very young), but now i do know why, or atleast know that it's a pretty good chance it was related to his diabetes. I always remember him piling the teaspoons of sugar into his tea...

gettingby · #11 (**permalink**) 10-10-2006, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2high

Cin thanks for doing this. Ur beautiful and I love you. -xx-

Guys, thanks for all your suggestions... but he's somewhere... God knows I hope its hospital... extremely ill with full-blown DKA.

So for now, until I know more and can let you know, can u pray for my friend James??

Love you too.
Please keep us updated on his situation. I do hope he's getting the help he needs. Anytime you need a friend, I'm here. Just PM or email me and I'll do what I can.