Dating and the D

thomasb · #1 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 11:18 AM

So i've been dating this woman for a while now. Or well, up to our third or so date tomorrow. Now, i have yet to tell her about my diabetes. I'd say i have kept from mentioning it on purpose for one reason: the infusion site. Many people seem to think the idea of having something going into your body is eh, not so nice. Gross even. That is the the reaction i've gotten before atleast. And i've just not wanted to mention this to her, first cos i thought it was no use, diabetes is a part of my life, but not sucha big part. But now, well you know, it might get serious. And eh, situations might eh appear where i find myself less, ah less dressed. And she'll know then anyway.

Anyway, of course i will tell her and i would not want to be with her if she could not handle it. But i find it a bit interesting what new difficulties pop up sometimes. Anyone else had a similar experience?

xMenace · #2 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 11:36 AM

No. Been married for a long time.

Just a couple of hints. Unhook if possible since doing it in the heat of the moment, in the dark can throw a kink in things (sorry for the bad pun). But if you don't want to remove it and the set is on the opposite side, let the pump slide over your back as you roll over.

thomasb · #3 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 12:58 PM

oh i'm removing the pump for sure. I'm more thinking of the infusion site. I'm thinking there will be enough eh exercise to keep the sugars down.

xMenace · #4 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thomasb

oh i'm removing the pump for sure. I'm more thinking of the infusion site. I'm thinking there will be enough eh exercise to keep the sugars down.

When you get old like me you both tend to forget things and have less time to spare

I suggest bringing it up next date, the pump that is

I find it generally a very good conversation topic.

Kristinabalina · #5 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 07:46 PM

You need to bring it up the next time you meet. Not trying to be a negative nelly here, but you don't want to invest a bunch of time into something that she will have a issue with. It's not really fair to her not to lay it on the table. It's such a part of our lives that we don't think twice about pumps and blood checks, etc. I sometimes forget that doing a blood check in the middle of a sushi resturant probably isn't very considerate of the others around me.

I was just married in May, and my husband said something to me that I won't forget. He said that you reach a point that if you date, or marry for that matter, someone with a chronic disease, like us, it's something you have to think long and hard about. What if something happens? Are they prepared to deal with any of the side effects. Ugh! Sorry, kind of derailed! It's a part of who we are, and most people find the concept of the pump "cool".

And we both know, chicks dig cool!

Dawn · #6 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 08:07 PM

I am type 2 and not on insulin so the circumstances are a bit different but I wanted to tell you that I felt cautious in telling dates. I didn't want to tell them if it wasn't going anywhere and it felt risky to me after a few dates to tell them and feel judgment. I just wanted to share that I know it is not easy with D and dating. I will never forget however telling one date...it was the 3rd or 4th date and I told him...he took my hand and said...'be who you are'. I thought it was very sweet. It did not seem to be an issue for most of my dates and often they would then share that so and so in their family was diabetic and it did not become an issue. I wish you luck.
Dawn

tanyatype1 · #7 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 09:35 PM

Don't roll over and fall asleep, and forget to reconnect your pump! I forgot to reconnect once and when I woke up in the morning my bg was 17! I was surprised that it wasn't a lot higher actually.

glashalful · #8 (**permalink**) 11-24-2007, 09:41 PM

It doesn't sound as if you're trying to decide whether or not to even tell her (which is good -- you definitely need to tell her!) And if she's a decent catch, it shouldn't be a problem -- she'll be cool with it.

One thing to think about for, ah...... later is where your infusion site is located on that particular, ah...... date. My site, when unhooked, is kind of sharp, and you could, ah......., scrape her with it! That could throw things off a bit!

Good luck!

Elizabeth

thomasb · #9 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 01:57 AM

aah good advice there! thank you! I usually put the site on my back/side.
Im meeting her tonight, and am going to tell her. it will be interesting to see how it goes...

TenderVittleS · #10 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 02:22 AM

If you get kind of on the cranky side when your BS isn't stable I would tell her too. Sometimes I act very cold and want to be alone sometimes. Its not really who I am but its how I cope with diabetes sometimes. Hope all goes well.

shabbie6247 · #11 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 04:04 AM

thomas i would set an alarm on my pump to go off during your date, before you get too cozy. it will help to bring it up (er..the D that is!). then if she gets too freaked it hasnt damaged your male pride where it hurts most...in the bedroom

good luck

JediSurfer · #12 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 07:12 AM

I never really had to tell a girl about my D. Most of the chicks I've dated I met at work or college and were already aware of my D after seeing me test and inject.
A couple of girls I have had to tell but there has never been a problem and never had a bad response.
Best just to get it out of the way and get on with enjoying your new relationship and having some good old fashioned fun.

Hope things work out well for you.

Dan Gato · #13 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 07:45 AM

Thomas,

You already made the decision.

But what I was thinking is get her to get hook-on-you first,
then when you know that she cares about you, tell her, she'll be more understandable.
There's a lot of misunderstanding and misinformation about D,
Dating is one thing, being married is different.

Good luck.

Olidus · #14 (**permalink**) 11-25-2007, 07:57 AM

Whatever happens now you have to keep us in the loop.
I need to know how this goes.
I must know.

Now I know how my wife feels when she watches her stories on the tele tube.

Good luck.

thomasb · #15 (**permalink**) 11-26-2007, 12:35 AM

aand the results are in! I told her yesterday, and as always it is a good story to tell, how i got sick while abroad and all that. She had a friend with it, and had met people with diabetes in her work(physical therapist). So she did not seem to shocked or suprised or bothered. it seemed all cool. She's is a nice person

thanks for the good advice though! we'll see what happens in the future...