[MyDrew]

Hello Everyone:

My name is Ali and I am the wife of a Diabetic. My husband, Andrew was diagnosed 1 year ago with type 1 diabetes. Boy has it been a whirlwind of change in our household within the past year. From changing our diet, to remembering to schedule our insulin shot prior to meals, finger pricking and so much more. We were COMPLETELY shocked that my husband had diabetes, and even the fact that it was diagnosed as type 1.

Over the past year we have eased it to the transition much better. We have learned early warning signs if something is not right with my husband, usually this means he has taken his insulin way to early and has not eaten yet, or if he gets real anxious, usually means that something else is not right as well. My question for you all is what your thoughts are on depression and diabetes? My husband has just not felt right at all since he was diagonosed. He complains of feeling anxious all the time and also that he just does not care about things anymore. I am very worried about him and I believe he is extremely depressed. He agrees that something just is not right, but we have no clue what to do, other than talking to his doctor about it and him diagnosing a pill (I am sure). We were wondering if maybe there was another alternative to the so called "pills" out there that anyone can share. Maybe an herbal remedy to lift your spirits or some type of natural suggestion?

Additionally, First I have read that many of you test at least 2-5 or more times a day. Is this normal? I can tell you my husband never tests unless he is feeling "awkward" almost panicky, sweating and tired. This means a majority of the time he has not eaten and already taken the insulin. My husband is seeing our family physician since the diagnoses. He has not been back to the doctor ever since and I believe we are supposed to go every 3 months or so? For an A1C or possibly other tests? I am just curious to see how many of you see a family doctor or if you go to a specialty doctor? I think he may not be getting the information and care he should be and we need to find someone who specializes in this area.

Lastly, my husband eats out alot since his diagnoses, probably as much as he used to. I assume eating out is not good for your sugar levels...

Alright, I will quit with the questions, I am just really needing assistance to help point my husband in the right direction

Thank you in advance,
Ali

[Evermont]

Hi Ali, welcome to DF! You're in the right place - I'm sure this thread will prompt many useful responses.

I think it's great for your husband that you are so supportive, helping him with food, meds, advice and all. This is a good thing. However, I wonder if he would be less depressed if he "owned" more of this problem set himself and didn't depend so much on you to manage his situation. He might just be a person who needs a pill to overcome depression, a lot of people have that problem. Then again, getting control over the situation could be all he needs.

If I were in his shoes (and I'm not, so take all this with a grain of salt) I would get on top of this thing. YES get A1c every 3 months. YES, test test test! When he can confidently state "I know exactly how to deal with my personal variation of diabetes to maintain good control at all times." then he's on the right path. Don't rely on symptoms to decide when things aren't right, that's what meters, A1c's, labs, GP's and endocrinologists are for. Some here have learned that they can trust some of their symptoms sometimes, many have learned that this is a very bad idea. Don't assume that eating out is bad for blood sugar, TEST and KNOW! It kinda depends on what he eats and how much.

I'll let the others have a turn now. My best to you both. Why not invite Andrew to join us here too, we will welcome him warmly and get him feeling better one way or another.

[HollyB]

Hi Ali,

I just wanted to add it does not sound to me like your husband was given enough training and follow-up support to really manage his diabetes knowledgeably. Compared to what families whose children are diagnosed are given, it seems shocking.

At minimum, people with Type 1 should be testing before every meal and before bed. Then you know whether you need to take more, less, or the usual amount of insulin with your meal, and whether you are safe to sleep through the night without going low. It's also very helpful to learn to adjust your insulin based on the carb counts of what you are eating. This probably seems like more grind and more to learn rather than good news, but the positive aspect is you gain much more freedom in your diet and schedule, and you feel better and more confident because your blood sugars are more stable and you know what to do about it when they're not. Your husband may be depressed, but he may just feel lousy a lot of the time because his sugars are out of whack.

Few GPs, it seems, know enough about Type 1 to offer good treatment support. If your husband can see a (good) endocrinologist with a diabetes clinic on a regular basis, that would be much better. But it doesn't replace learning as much about diabetes and its management as he can himself, because it's a very individual disease and for best results "patients" have to take a lot of initiative in their own treatment. There are some good books out there too -- "Think Like a Pancreas" is a great way to start, not too overwhelming but really helps you understand the difference between mediocre and good diabetes treatment.

I hope your husband will come and hang out here -- he'll get a lot of help and support. But as another "significant other," I wanted to welcome you too. It's not an easy role, supporting someone you love through this kind of challenge.

[mortis505]

Hi Ali and welcome to DF!!

First off, get him to see an endocrinologist. Endo's specialize in the pancreas and the endocrine system. This plays a big part in a diabetics health regimen and can make all the difference in the world.

Secondly, testing blood sugar is not something to be taken lightly or done infrequently as a T1. He should be testing at the minimum of 4 times per day as Holly said above. Once prior to each meal and once before bed. And thats just for starters. Anytime he feels "off" it might not be a bad idea to test as well. Getting those blood sugars under control can make a person feel worlds better both physically AND emotionally.

Third, Eating out can be fine depending on the portions and types of foods. Watch the carbs. Potatoes, rice, pasta, etc can all play differing roles on a persons Blood Glucose and should be monitored to see how it either spikes or doesn't. Too see what it does, do a test about 2 hours after the first bite of food.

I would like to recommend that you try these steps in conjunction with advice from the family doc however, it was my experience(luck) that my GP owned up and said that he didnt know much about this disease and got me in to see an Endo right away.

Additional tests - HbA1C every 3 months
Opthomology exam - once a year
cholesterol - ask the endo

The 2 biggest things to remember in my opinion, are that 1. This disease "can" be managed and 2. no matter what advice you recieve, Your Mileage May Vary aka YMMV

Good luck to you and your husband and welcome to DF. The most Comprehensive Diabetes forum on the 'net

[DanG]

Originally Posted by MyDrew

Alright, I will quit with the questions, I am just really needing assistance to help point my husband in the right direction

I might offer a different point of view.
Maybe your husband needs to "own" this diabetes thing for himself without all the loving assistance. My wife does not do much for me in terms of testing or knowledge of what to eat and when. I own this diabetes and work to keep it in control because I have a nice woman for a wife, plus children at home. That is part of the hunter/gather male thing, perhaps (whatever hunter/gather is, I dunno but I have heard people use the term). Some guys like the support you are so lovingly providing - some of us rather hands-off - it is my diabetes, let me figure it out. Fine, if I am convulsing under low blood sugar, my wife knows OJ should be administered.

Just my thoughts - I hope my thoughts are not mistaken as harsh or not understanding.

[xMenace]

Take it from those of us that have traveled that path: he will certainly run into problems.

I know first hand that it's easy to ignore this burden and assume you have it under control. I now set goals for myself and constantly try to achieve them. I want all my fasting numbers below 6 and I want all my 2hr post-prandial numbers below 8. I want my A1C's under 6. Multiply those by 18 for American numbers.

I also make myself come here every day. The people here help me with every post they make. You are helping me. By telling someone what they should do, you examine your own behaviors.

This disease will hurt him badly if he doesn't take charge. Shrugging that off won't save him.

BTW I eat fast foods too. I don't do it often, but I do treat myself once in awhile. We're not machines.

[MyDrew]

Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I have really tried to find a good forum where I feel welcomed and where I can give and seek advice from others about my husbands disease.

I believe someone mentioned that I may be giving my husband too much advice or support and that is what could be frustrating him.... I really wish that is all it was, but unfortunately it is the opposite, I feel as though I have not taken enough of a role in his disease and this is why I have now decided to try and be active in understanding what he is going through. Me not having the disease, it is hard for me to understand what exactly he is going through, all I know is that he is not the same person he was before he was diagnosed. Not meaning this is bad in anyway, just that he is struggling with something inside of him that we both don't seem to understand and would like to gain more wisdom and control so he is not hurting himself physically or emotionally.

Andy does not talk much about his disease, he just takes his shots as he was instructed to do in the beginning and continues to do everything he used to do, acting as though everything is normal. However, I notice a difference in him, he is much more anxious, stressed, tired and frustrated with life in general. He mentioned to me the other day that he just feels as though something is not right in his body. That was his exact words. When your husband mentions this to you, and you love your significant other as much as I love mine, you want to do everything and anything to help that person not feel bad anymore and figuare out what is wrong. I honestly wish I had the answers but I don't! I am just hoping through time and good knowledge WE can own this disease together and come out stronger than ever.

Thank you all for your support, this disease is as much a part of my life as it is my husbands, we being the one's that don't have the disease, need as much support as those that have the disease I think. It is nice to know that I will have that support if I need it.

Thank you,
Ali

PS... Hubby just took his BS before dinner and it was 110, is that good?

[Evermont]

Originally Posted by MyDrew

...you want to do everything and anything to help that person not feel bad anymore and figure out what is wrong. I honestly wish I had the answers but I don't! I am just hoping through time and good knowledge WE can own this disease together and come out stronger than ever...

This is just about the best argument I've heard yet for regular frequent testing, regular A1c's and getting to an endocrinologist as needed.

I'm a big fan of the kind of help you offer your husband. Like I said before, it's a good thing. I also think Andrew should behave as if that help wasn't there. I hope you understand. You are both in this together but the benefit of personal responsibility cannot be overstated.

[nono87]

Originally Posted by MyDrew

I really wish that is all it was, but unfortunately it is the opposite, I feel as though I have not taken enough of a role in his disease and this is why I have now decided to try and be active in understanding what he is going through. Me not having the disease, it is hard for me to understand what exactly he is going through

that i can understand because thats EXACTLY how my aunt felt when i was diagnosed (my parents where living out of the country) so she read all possible literature even called GP surgery to see if anyone could give her info but no matter how much she read and got to know the final choice of how to go forward was with me not her!!

so you might find that you will get a better understanding and yes you will be able to support your husband but for him to get any better or feel any better he has to acknowledge the issue and face it head on.

[princesslinda]

Welcome Ali! I'm so glad you found the forum, as there are so many great people here willing to share advice and offer support.

As a T2 I have no personal experiences with T1 diabetse. My situation is different from that of your husband, but similar in that we all share a disease that we either control, or suffer the longterm consequences as it controls us. I can certainly understand and appreciate your concerns. It may be HIS disease, but family support is so important, esp. while he is learning how to deal with his diabetes.

He's probably feeling very overwhelmed and scared right now. It would be great if you could get him to take a look at the forum....he'd see he's not alone in what he's going through....and i'm betting he feels alone right now, I know I did before I found this great group of people.

I agree with the others that he should seek the advice of an endocrinologist. Also, frequent testing is very important....how else can he see how different factors affect his blood sugars and know how to keep them in good control to avoid problems?

Again, welcome to the family....get Andrew on board as well!

[Alice]

I probably test about 10 times a day. I can test less, but why? I need to know fasting number in morning. Pre-meal and after meal (after meal...did I take enough fast-acting...did I take too little?)...I check late afternoons. I eat most of my carbs at dinner and they tend to be slower-acting carbs that can play havoc with my glucose til late at night...so after those dinners (Pasta, Pizza, Thai food, etc.) I keep checking for split bolus doses.

Meters are the best things that have come along...along with fast-acting insulin. But the two have to go hand-in-hand, in my opinion.

Good luck...he will feel better when his blood sugar is in a good range. Does he know how to adjust his own insulin...or he he just taking what was prescribed in the beginning?

[TenderVittleS]

I test 10 times or more a day, depends how I feel. The reason we test so much is to prevent feeling like ****. You really can lead a pretty much normal life as long as you test and adjust your insulin accordingly. It will take a little time to know which foods affect you most but in the end its worth it. Also if your husband doesn't test he is only setting himself up for many complications as well as feeling like **** many times a day. To me its a no brainer and testing takes less than 5 seconds!! Cmon!!

[mortis505]

PS... Hubby just took his BS before dinner and it was 110, is that good?

A good range (for me) is 80-140 pre-meal, but insulin doses may need to be adjusted depending on carbs, if he has taken insulin in the previous 2-3 hours, Glucose being higher or lower.

If you need a good reference for calories and carbs check out the calorie king book It was recomended to me by my educator and pump trainer.

What types of insulin is he taking? Brand names if possible.

And by all means, get him in here. he needs this info too.

[Funnygrl]

I test around 10 times a day.

He needs to be seeing the doctor regularly so they can monitor his a1c, his blood pressure, his thyroid, cholesterol, and weight. All important things for a diabetic to stay on top of.

Ideally, if he's not overweight he shouldn't have to change his diet too much, but he should be basing insulin doses on the amount of carbs he's eating. You wouldn't expect a car to get 50 miles to a gallon one day and 10 to a gallon another- so it is with insulin.

I'd also recommend an endocrinologist and some visits with an endocrinologist. Further, I'd like to know what insulins he's on as well.

GPs tend to do a crappy job managing type 1.

[MyDrew]

Thank you all for your comments. The good news is that I had a long talk with my hubby last night and he is in total agreement with me about getting him back on track, making sure to at least test 3 times or more a day (even if he is not feeling bad) to additionally be careful of what he is eating, being moderate with his food portions and watching the carbs. He also agrees with me that he should start seeing an Endo in our area instead of our GP. He said the reason why he did not want to see an Endo is because he did not want to many different doctors involved in his treatment. One might say one thing and the other something different. However after I spoke to him and said our GP is probably not as educated in this area and seeing how hard it is to make an appt with him that maybe we should consider someone else. He completely AGREED

Andy also mentioned that he would like to start being more consistent with eating at reguarl intervals. We are an extremely busy couple, we have 3 kids, a retail store, 4 online stores and my husband works full time....we have crazy hours and sometimes are not able to eat at the same time everyday. Their is times we maybe eat at 8 instead of 10 or later. He believes that starting a schedule where he is eating consistently at the same time each day may help, and not waiting to eat dinner that late. I agreed!

Now as far as the medicane he is on, don't quote me on this, but I know he does take a short acting as well as a long lasting insulin. I believe he is on Levimier (sp?) and Novolin? I know when he takes his insulin it is in a pen type shot, this way he does not see the needles when they come out.

Speaking of seeing needles, I have to tell you, my husbands biggest fear in the world has always been needles. He has a condition where when he sees a needle, he passes out, he has been this way for many many years and until he was diagnosed he had not been to a doctor in almost 20 years because of his fear. We always joke around about this now, because for someone who was so afraid of needles ending up having to inject himself so many times a day is crazy!

Ali
PS...I will be sure to let him know about this forum and pray that he will want to be a part of it as well