[Scratch]

Today at work I was given a birthday card. Attached to the envelope was a sugar free Russell Stover dark chocolate wafer which I suppose serves as a reminder to the past and March 1985 when I began getting extremely thirsty, urinating frequently, feeling awful and having dreams of beautifully cold juices and water that could never satisfy the thirst.

Oh that terrible thirst.

I can't say I remember exactly for sure, but I was admitted into a hospital intensive care on March 17th, a little over 3 weeks after what would seem to be my last piece of birthday cake. A few days getting rehydrated and stabilized, moved over to the pediatric wing I think, learned to roll NPH vials and give myself a shot, learn about the exchange diet plans and off I went into my new exciting life as a type 1 diabetic.

Then it was urine testing and the color changing test strips 4 times a day for blood. I ended up with my diabetic stall space or something on the bathroom countertop. Lifesaver candies were frequently carried in my pockets for the hypos.

I can't say that I'm ever entirely comfortable or accepting of this. I don't know why that is except for what sometimes feels like the constant mental toll of it, even in the periods of denial it was still stuck in my thoughts from the moment I woke up until I would go to sleep, then I'm sure even in my sleep being a diabetic was never forgotten.

It's easier to manage in some ways now. I can test my blood and get a result in less than a minute of fuss. I can eat like a regular person except for having to remove gluten from my diet.

I still can't decide whether or not I want to eat the sugar free chocolate candy I was given for my birthday.

[princesslinda]

I'm sure that your journey has been, at times, quite difficult. I can't imagine being diagnosed as a child and all that would have entailed. Actually, I can't imagine being diagnosed as an adult...there's just not "good" time to have diabetes.

However, as someone on the outside looking at your many posts you've shared with us, it seems that not only have you made peace with diabetes, you're sharing the knowledge you've gained, helping others have an easier journey. It certainly doesn't look as though diabetes has kept you from "living" your life to the fullest....you seem to be more fit and active than most "non-diabetics" that I know. I'm always amazed at your determination and ability when I read your posts.

So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY...Here's to many more years of "taming the beast."

And no, don't eat the sugar-free chocolate....have a nice piece of Dove Dark or Godiva....you've earned it!

[xMenace]

Originally Posted by Scratch

I still can't decide whether or not I want to eat the sugar free chocolate candy I was given for my birthday.

I would, but I'd refuse to enjoy it

[KCP]

Happy birthday!!!!! 23 years is wicked!
IM only at 16 so still a teenager!! lol

I was just saying last night to someone how much easier it is these days to control and regulate the blood sugars with little fuss. Yea, we all get difficult patched, mine are due to doing silly things like eating cake or forgetting to bolus. But back int he days where you had to pee on stick, and that horrible insulin we were on? these days makes those days look like the dark ages!

[lgvincent]

Friday will mark the 40th anniversary of me starting insulin injections.

[Jan B]

Scratch,

Until I found DF, I never dreamed of celebrating the occasion of beginning insulin! I get mad at that sugar free stuff -- what, about 2 carbs less than the other?! Saying sugar free is so deceptive IMO.

Congratulations on becoming a good role model and fighting the fight in order to have abundance in your life. I love the things Linda said . . . and I believe them about you. I'm coming up on 29 years. Do you remember those AWFUL glucose tablets then? The squares in foil that were supposed to be flavorless, but were horrible and gagged most people!

I remember insulin at $4 a bottle! That was a little before your time though. Things have improved a lot actually. I usually think I've accepted it all. But you are right . . . . it is always, always on our minds in some way. That's part of who we are though -- keep up the good work and keep running!

[Alice]

Happy Birthday! Personally, I hate that sugar-free candy marketing rip-off...but I'm sure your co-workers were being "thoughtful". Be thankful you work with nice people.

I used to work with people who would sarcastically ask if my blood sugar was "low" whenever I picked up my purse to head for lunch. They weren't being nice.

[Scratch]

Oh, I'm very lucky to get to work with a nice group of people. It's just funny sometimes with the identity issues both self-examined as a diabetic and as how the general population sees us.

Somehow when I saw that chocolate attached to the card, I got one of those wry smiles to myself and then got drawn back to thinking of what it was like nearly 23 years ago when my life changed.

[gettingby]

Scratch, I'm right there with ya, buddy. I'm coming up on 24 years in September. Ah, that wonderful NPH (NOT !!!!!).