[CherylAnne]

Hi Everyone!

I'm new to this site, so allow me to explain why I'm here;

I have been dating a guy (Bill) for 5 months, he is a diabetic. (10 years) Although, I have known him for over 20 years, I have never spent such extended time with him. One thing I've noticed different about him, is his disposition, mood swings!

I know little about diabetes, he is very open about it and tries to explain the details, but there is soooo very much to learn! I get confused at times. One time, he was 'crashing' and (not knowing any better) I tried to convience him to take an insulin shot, to get back up! (something I seen in a movie) Sheesh, I could have killed him! He kept yelling; 'What are you doing?'

The worst thing I have experienced so far, is the 'crash'... He is so helpless, incoherent and defensive! He doesn't know what he's doing or saying. I'm afraid he'll lash out and slug me, to keep me from helping him. He yells at me, usually not making any sense. He's normally laying down, sweating, and very strong, rolling away from me, into a fetal position. I watch the clock... I am so frightened, as I know there isn't much time to get sugar into his system before I have to phone 911. He's resistant to eating or drinking something that will help him back to reality. I feel so alone!

He tries to control his sugar level, but sometimes gets on a rollercoaster, so to speak! He's very concious about his diet and exercise...

The mood swings... They are next to worst! At the drop of a hat, he'll lash out, about seemingly anything, nothing! I'm concerned about my self esteem! Why is he yelling at me, saying this or that?

In public, I'm totally embarassed!

I have compassion and empathy for Bill...I've told him so! I also explain to him that I need respect... Folks, how do you handle this with your mate?

I would like to hear from you;

*Do you realize when you are high or low and becoming irratible?

*How do you explain to your mate, what has just happened?

*How does your mate deal with your attitudes and nastiness?

*How should I deal with the way Bill's attitude makes me feel?

*Can you suggest any books that will help me cope?

I look forward to your response...

CherylAnne

[TAutry]

Hi CherylAnne,

Welcome to the forums!

I am the diabetic in my house. Yes, I have noticed mood swings, at times, over the years. Mine have come at home and at work. Most of the time, I can see them coming and prevent any hurt feelings.

I have never had the severe low blood sugar reaction that you describe. Mine has gone pretty low, but never totally incapacitated me. Either my diabetes is different or it is more controlled. The best way to handle a 'crash' is to prevent it.

It appears to me that Bill needs to have a serious talk with his doctor. Whatever it takes, he needs to get his diabetes under control. That should help both of you in the short term and him for the long term. If he isn't, he needs to get very conscientious about his medication, diet, exercise and monitoring. I currently check my sugar 3-4 times each day. If I don't feel well or think I need to check more often, I do it. How often is Bill checking his? Monitoring is extremely important.

I know there are others here who can and will contribute much more than I have. Maybe you can get Bill to come to the forums too. We are a very open group that is willing to share.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Travis

[Tony]

CherylAnne

Welcome!

I have Diabetes, nine years this month. I have my mood swings too, but nothing like your boyfriend. When my blood is low I get real cranky. I don't yell or nothing like that, I'm a calm person I rather not talk.
My blood sugars been high all day today kind of falling asleep on the job. Left work a little early went to bed when i got home. Just woke a little while ago.

Sounds like he needs to be on the insulin pump. Like travis said, he needs to see the dr. And you should go with him.

When he is having these mood swings you should check his blood. Keep track of what the readings are. After time you will be able to tell if he is crashing or if his blood is going high.
Just by looking at him and seeing how he is acting.
He probably can't tell if his blood is droping. And when he does it is a little late.

They have this shot that is prefilled(forgot the name) you give him the shot when his blood is real low.

I knew this couple his name was bill also and his wife knew when he was crashing. He would put up a big fuss , get mad. would refuse to take anying to bring up his bg's. She was kind of cashing him around the room, he was jumping up and down on the bed. she had to call 911. I guess they had to strap him down and give him a shot to bring his blood back up. This happen a few times.

He was on the pump too! He could not get his bg's under control. That is what he said anyway.

He ended up getting a pancreas transplant. He taking about ten different meds a day.

[CherylAnne]

Thank you both for your replies!

Bill checks his blood a minimum of two times a day, in the morning and the evening, prior to his injections. I always ask what his number is. There are times when he's feeling strange, or has eaten differently than the norm, that he checks his blood in between.

It is frustrating to him, when his sugar level is out of whack, when seemingly he's done all the right things.

I believe he has said, that his doctor suggests he test his blood 4 or 5 times a day. Bill, says that gets expensive, so I believe he more or less self medicates.

I read somewhere that low blood sugar can cause a release of endorphins (I think this is right), that make you 'happy'... In regard to the mood swings, I'm now wondering if low causes happy attitude, and high causes irritable attitude. Possibly, everyone is affected differently?

I couldn't help but notice, the number of hits on this thread vs. the replies... I encourage your feedback, as I am new to this disease and any input would be greatly appreciated...

Thanks again,
CherylAnne

[TAutry]

Hi CherylAnne,

I am curious. How old is Bill? The reason I ask is so I can tailor/modify/tone down my response to the 'too expensive' argument on the monitoring. Some insurance plans cover part or all of the cost of diabetic testing supplies. If you can get him on here, I will be happy to address my reply/rant directly to him. I am reluctant to unleash on you. You are an innocent bystander and my sense of justice prevents me from shooting messengers.

The likelihood is that a regimen of testing more often for a period of time would assist him in getting his diabetes under control. It is conceivable that after that was accomplished, he could reduce the number of times he tested per day.

As for expense, has he checked the price of amputations? It is my understanding that losing a limb because of uncontrolled diabetes can really cramp your style. I know a woman who is in her mid-40's and just lost a foot because she didn't look after her diabetes. Her family is seeking financial help to purchase a prosthesis for her. Apparently, those things are darned expensive too.

This post may seem rather negative and unfriendly, but it is merely factual. Again, any harshness isn't directed at you.

Travis

[CherylAnne]

Travis,

I certainly appreciate your diplomacy. You have made your point quite well and I'm positive, Bill could use a scolding or two about the cost to live a healthy life!

Bill is 42.

He realizes the importance of a health care plan that will help support the financial requirements for diabetes supplies.

Up until a couple of months ago, he worked for himself and couldn't afford health insurance. He is currently employed with a company that offers a health plan and will be elegible in another month. He claims, he will not be so money conscious about testing himself, once the insurance kicks in.

When I want him to test himself, sometimes I'll say; 'here's a dollar, test yourself'...lol

I doubt he will visit this site with eagerness. He knows I visit a couple of forums for business and special interests and he's not up on trusting cyber friends yet. Maybe a reference to liturature or a book will help get the importance of these issues, across to him.

My purpose in visiting this forum, is to gain knowledge, insight and advise on how to cope. I promise you, I will not be offended if your tone is off or even if you rant. Possibly, someone can learn from it or there is someone else out there lurking who is going through the same thing as Bill and I, and arn't willing to speak up!

I have read many of the posts on this forum. It appears you are a kind and loving bunch, with something in common to discuss among yourselves. I know personalities flare up from time to time, nothing's perfect! I will monitor this site and hope to become involved, with a 'mates' point of view.

I am fond of your tackfulness and sense of humor...

CherylAnne

[hels]

There are times when I am so glad that i live in the Uk and don't have to woory about what can or can't be paid for. I guess working in the NHS makes me a bit biased, but it really does provide a good free service for all, although sometimes we have to wait a bit )

I hope you can sort things out CherylAnne

[Tony]

Maybe try this book Beating the Blood Sugar Blues

There was one another book but i forgot the name. I do some searching to see if I can find it.

[mweber]

CherylAnne

I've had three of the lows(crash's),that you talked about since I"ve been with my wife.It freeks her out,to but she"s gotten to be an expert at giving me a glucagon shots(It's an injection to be used when your out or in convolsion's).My advice would be go to his doctor with him,ask your questions,It helped with my wife alot,and ask for glucagon emergancy kit every type 1 diabetic should have them,If not for my wife and the kits iI would not be able to post this reply lows or crashing as you call it are serious.

[TAutry]

CherylAnne,

Me tactful? That would surprise people that know me!!!:p

Let's see, Bill is 42. He thinks monitoring his blood sugar costs too much. He 'probably' wouldn't be eager to join our forum where he could get advice and encouragement from other diabetics.

Let me guess here, I bet he won't be too eager to go to the doctor. He will be even less eager to have you go with him and talk to the doctor. Unless I am badly mistaken, your Bill is a stereotypical, hardheaded male of the genus homo and species sapiens.

If all the above is true or close to true, you can give it the college try, but he won't get with the program until HE decides it is time.(I hope that it doesn't take an extreme circumstance to wake him up.) Until then it will be moods and excuses and other assorted bull feces.

For you, that will lead to much biting of your tongue, clenching of your jaw and probably the occasional tension headache. To combat these symptoms, I prescribe much patience, rest, laughter, regular exercise, play and regular visits to www.diabetesforums.com).;

Travis

P.S. Contrary to popular belief, anyone who enjoys my sense of humor is not insane.

[statdeac]

P.S. Contrary to popular belief, anyone who enjoys my sense of humor is not insane.

Thank God, I was getting a bit worried about that!

[CherylAnne]

Haha, Travis!

You've hit the proverbial, nail on the head! My Bill, indeed sounds like a

hardheaded male of the genus homo and species sapiens

lol

In all fairness to Bill, this is my side of the story. The way I see it. I am the one seeking insight and advise! He is living the frustrating life of a diabetic and through my involvement with him, I am now living it too. He is very knowledgible about diabetes, way far ahead of me. I'm here, looking for another means to learn more about it...

So far, I have come to understand that the fluxuations in blood sugar a diabetic may experience, can cause a certain level of frustration and irritibility, which may explain the mood swings I have inquired about. It appears that not everyone is affected in the same way, by the same blood sugar levels.

In my haste to express myself, I may have misled you, Bill does not walk like a zombie or tear up a town like godzilla. In fact, he is a very gentle, sensative, mild mannered guy. (King Kong?)His mood swings are out of the ordinary, unlike him.

From all indications, 'hard headed' Bill, is aware of the program, but 'yo-yo's' sometimes. Seriously, is this unusual?

He tries to control his sugar level, but sometimes gets on a rollercoaster, so to speak! He's very concious about his diet and exercise...

I believe he has said, that his doctor suggests he test his blood 4 or 5 times a day. Bill, says that gets expensive, so I believe he more or less self medicates.

When I said 'self medicates', I meant, if his sugar level is too high, he injects more insulin. Is this unusual?

Since Bill isn't checking his blood as often as his doctor suggests, only time will tell if HE is going to 'get with the program' once he's elegible for insurance and see's his doctor again.

TONY, thanks for the link, I've added it to my list to check out at the book store.

MWEBER, thanks for relating your story. I haven't seen Bill go into convulsions or comotose. Although, he says he's been there once. Your wife is an angle, I trust that you tell her how much you appreceiate her. I will inquire about the glucagon emergancy kit... Thanks!

CherylAnne

[Harold]

Hi CherylAnne,

Starting with the LOWS. Anyone taking insulin needs an emergency kit! Lows will happen and eventually an extreme low will happen and you need to know when/how to use it. When the insurence kicks in see if the insurance will cover diabetes classes given by a CDE and if it does make sure you go with him. It should cover both of you, you as a caregiver. Back to the lows. A low is typically defined as a reading below 60 and how it feels at 55 and 45 may be completely different. He may euphoric at 55 and have the shakes at 45 or he may have the shakes first. This is because there are different stages as ones bg's are dropping through the floor. Oh yes let me explain that frequent lows will desensetize him from noticing going low. Now HIGHS feel just like lows and every symptom for lows show up for highs including the eventual coma. This means before doing anything when you suspect a low use the meter and get a reading. A low means he need sugar and a high he needs a fast acting insulin but not too much of either. The reason they both feel the same is because in both cases the cells are starving for energy.

Here's a couple of links, one with online classes and the other has some usefull links to info and books.

http://www.joslin.harvard.edu/educat...nerguide.shtml

http://www.mendosa.com/advice.htm

Check out the directory!

[CherylAnne]

HAROLD,

Thank you so much for the links, precisely what I've been searching for, to gain a better understanding of a diabetic!

To you all and this forum, your input and understanding has been most helpful.

Bill and I, had a few good talks this past weekend.

He appreciates the fact that I want to learn about diabetes and encourages me to join him on his doctor visits!

I also paid close attention to his moods and blood tests. Going low made him 'testy' and I encouraged him to check his blood sugar level, after eating or drinking something, he was back on track. The understanding of this, has allowed me to be more patient and persistant to get him to test.

Each time he tested, we discussed the numbers and the cause and effects for each result. We laughed over the variables, there are so many! Sorta like a game of 'what if'... It helped me to understand more about the diabetic lifestyle.

He explained, that when he was diagnosed with diabetes, he tested his blood all of the time, before and after eating, exercising, sleeping, etc. to find out how his body was affected. He said that he is sometimes unable to tell when he is high or low and needs me to speak up, he will also test more often.

I told him, that I don't want to be a nag, but to work with him to maintain a healthy lifestyle, for the BOTH OF US.

Thanks to those who replied, for getting involved!

CherylAnne

[TAutry]

CherylAnne,

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!

It appears that you two have made significant progress. Bill apparently understands what a valuable asset you can be in helping with his diabetes.

Good Luck to you both!

Travis

P.S. Who knows, he might even deign to join us soon!