Hubby doesn't understand - Page 2

art · #16 (**permalink**) 04-22-2008, 06:09 AM

A little bit of denial and a whole lot of fear?

Sometimes we forget our partners suffer with us and possibly more than we do.

Don't get me wrong. Part of me thinks you should have smacked him with a 2x4. But it just may be all he's thinking is " i want you back like you were".

It can be so hard.

Art

ant hill · #17 (**permalink**) 04-22-2008, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carolyn

We have been married for 31 years and I have been diabetic for 4 years.

Hello Carolyn, We know that to have a good BG is our goal and to achieve that takes some juggling to perfect that harmony and to have someone who don't understand is indeed difficult.

How would he react to if you to fall low? Would he understand to give you something sweet that would get you out of that low in a hurry.

How strong is your love to your husband?

Scrabblechick · #18 (**permalink**) 04-22-2008, 07:21 AM

Hugs, Carolyn. I hope you guys get this worked out.

shades9323 · #19 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008, 11:10 AM

My wife tests my diet drinks for me at restaurants to make sure they are really diet. To her own detriment she tries to take care of me a little too much. She deprives herself of the food she loves becasue she doesn't want to tempt me, no matter how many times I tell her it is ok to have that food in the house.

Penny · #20 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shades9323

My wife tests my diet drinks for me at restaurants to make sure they are really diet. To her own detriment she tries to take care of me a little too much. She deprives herself of the food she loves becasue she doesn't want to tempt me, no matter how many times I tell her it is ok to have that food in the house.

Don't let her go, Shades.......she sounds like a winner to me! My husband loves sweets, but gave them up at home for me. If the wife wants something you can't have she can have it when she is out someplace without you. Give her an extra hug, she deserves it.

Alice · #21 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008, 11:21 AM

Maybe he feels the diabetes is taking a little "attention" away from his side...that's ok...you need to take care of yourself.

Janlaton · #22 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008, 11:38 AM

Sorry he is giving you a fit. DO not assume he will change with time. I've been married 44 years and 40 yrs diabetic. My husband can be asked to hand be a diet soda from the fridge and he will bring me a regular one and not know the differance. He is just out of it. I gave up on educating him years ago. It would be much better if he were understanding he is a nurse so you would think he would. He will bring home gifts of chocolate even now and get upset when it does not get eaten. I just toss it a few pieces at a time so he thinks I eat it.

Take heart that you have support in the forum. Develope friends and family support who can give you strength. If you are in a church develop a support group there. Praying things will look up for you.

GinaLynn · #23 (**permalink**) 05-02-2008, 01:07 PM

Carolyn~
Your story and a few other ones I read bother me

...I not married, but in my defense I have had serious relationships, which if we did fight about my diabetes it was because I wanted to have a regular soda when I shouldn't. I always would hear "you can't have that" or "no she is a diabetic and can't have coke- she needs diet" I know that diabetes affects not only the person who has it ,but the people that love them. It sounds like your husband is either not understanding what diabetes actually is, or the possible side effects of not taking care of yourself could result in- but either way, he needs to realize that when he acts out like that how it must make you feel! (it makes me upset if someone would act like that to me

) but I hope everything works out for you

caswellhb · #24 (**permalink**) 05-03-2008, 02:15 AM

Hi,
was this normal to his general behaviour or a one off?
Would he be willing to come and ask questions and /or vent here with us?
I know there are many articles on the web about diabetes so could you print a few of the "friendlier" sounding ones off and leave them lying around for him to read?
I tend to joke my way through situations like this. I'm offered something I shouldn't have and say "Hmmmmmm this Death by chocolate pudding or keep my toes. ****,do I need toes?" and giggle.
Another thing I did was name my toes and when offered something would say that Edward couldn't have it. This would lead to a light hearted conversation that highlighted the complications of diabetes without being too dramatic.
I hope this works out for you sweetie. Keep posting, stay strong and know that we are here for you.

Heather.

Janlaton · #25 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 12:54 PM

I am sure I came on strong earlier about my husband. Your's may change with time. I pray he will. Sorry if I let my frustrations vent over on you. Try to keep him educated. Hopefully with time he will be looking out for you with TLC,

ant hill · #26 (**permalink**) 05-06-2008, 07:28 PM

That's OK Jan, He just needs some education on this and so some food changes. It's no big deal realy.
So let him have his cake and eat it too as you may have some, but just a small bit.
A little exersise or a lot and better food choises is the go, I think.

Janlaton · #27 (**permalink**) 05-07-2008, 09:53 AM

I am too lazy to cook 2 meals at a time so unless my hubby buys something out, he eats the way I do. I am very careful with my food intake how else could I have been diet controlled for 25 years? The exception is I do buy him regular sodas!

I think he is one of those people who has his mind made up that all this stuff about sugar and carbs is in my head and I use it as an excuse. He has told me I am a drug addict because of my diabetic meds so why should he not be a drunk? We have recently seperated after 44 years.

I still hope yours will be better with education.