[norcal89]

On May 18 i will have had Diabetes for 5 years....5 years of constantly high blood sugar, medical problems, many trips to the hospital, and many many rough days. Im only 18 years old and i know that if i don't start taking care of it now i am going to have major regrets later, but for some reason i just can't get my head around the idea of having diabetes. Sure i can say that im a diabetic but it doesn't sink in. When i think about my future i don't picture the diabetes. It seems like it would be easy.....check, take insulin. But there is something that i just can't seem to grasp. It seems like a like to pretend its not there, which isn't working for me. Does anyone else know what im talking about or have any advice on how to get thru this. It would be nice to hear stories from other people on how they live their lives with this disease without letting it take over.

Time is never time at all and you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of you- Smashing Pumpkins

[xMenace]

Originally Posted by norcal89

On May 18 i will have had Diabetes for 5 years....5 years of constantly high blood sugar, medical problems, many trips to the hospital, and many many rough days. Im only 18 years old and i know that if i don't start taking care of it now i am going to have major regrets later, but for some reason i just can't get my head around the idea of having diabetes. Sure i can say that im a diabetic but it doesn't sink in. When i think about my future i don't picture the diabetes. It seems like it would be easy.....check, take insulin. But there is something that i just can't seem to grasp. It seems like a like to pretend its not there, which isn't working for me. Does anyone else know what im talking about or have any advice on how to get thru this. It would be nice to hear stories from other people on how they live their lives with this disease without letting it take over.

Time is never time at all and you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of you- Smashing Pumpkins

Dude(tte),

You're not alone in your boat. Yes I and many others have been down that path.

I'm glad you found this place. We are more than happy to hold your hand and help you. That's frankly why we're all here: to get help and help others. I speak from experience when I say this place can do wonders.

You know you have to take control. That means YOU have to take control. You need to learn about your body's behavior and your meds. We can give you advice, point you in various directions, even give you a hard time if you want, but YOU have to make your own decisions. All our regimens are unique. They are like fingerprints. No two are exactly the same.

When you do finally get control, and you will,
and you start to see the results, well it's almost better than sex!

Try these out for starters.

It all starts with basal control.
Getting Down to Basals :: Diabetes Self-Management

Almost all of us experience the DPs.
dawn phenomenon - Google Search

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by norcal89

.... Sure i can say that im a diabetic but it doesn't sink in. When i think about my future i don't picture the diabetes. It seems like it would be easy.....check, take insulin. But there is something that i just can't seem to grasp. It seems like a like to pretend its not there, ...

I think we all go through the stage you describe in some way or another. It is part of a grieving process - you are grieving the loss of your health. The main stages of the grieving process are :

- Denial
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance and hope

It sounds like you are still in the Denial stage. This is a particularly difficult stage for young people, as teenagers believe that nothing bad will ever happen to them. It is a well known part of the developmental process. I was diagnosed T1 at the age of 21 and I remember getting stuck in the Bargaining phase. I used to tell myself "I want to have fun now, and (in exchange) I will start looking after the diabetes next year". I was essentially bargaining with this thing I didn't want to deal with. The problem is that "next year" never comes. People trying to give up smoking do the same thing.

Depression isn't really a stage, as it comes and goes during the whole process. Ultimately, we need to get to the Acceptance phase, where we accept that life will never be the same again but find ways to make the most of it.

We all go through this process, so you are not alone in it. While hearing that may be re-assuring to you, moving through the process is something you need to drive yourself. Coming to a forum like this should help. And I suggest you find a counselor to help with it. Having someone that asks the right questions and then listens to the answers you provide can be an enormous help, in terms of clarifying your thinking and making the progress you are looking for.

[TenderVittleS]

I was feeling the same when I was 18 also. The main thing right now is your young age and all the hormones are all mixed up. Just try your best, even at 31 I still have those days, but the better you take care of yourself those other feelings seem to magically disappear. What kind of insulin are you on? You may need to check your thyroid also. When's the last time you went to the doctor or endocrinologist?

[Mich]

Hello Norcal,

I'm glad you found this group. You belong here. We all have felt exactly like you at one time or another, mostly at the beginning. You brought back some stong feelings in me. I had just turned 13 when I was diagnosed. At that time, not much was known about diabetes and my mom was in charge of my care because the doctors set it up that way. It was a tough time for my parents to have MORE power over me, just when I was wanting less. Much less.

I went through the next five years doing what I had to to stay alive, but not really accepting that I was a diabetic. Just like Blue Sky and John have both said, I didn't think anything would happen to me. At that age, the diabetes was easy on me. You've had a harder time than I did. I was only hospitalized for my appendix. My closest friends knew that I was diabetic because it was a small community and our parents all knew each other, but I pretty much kept it to myself otherwise.

Well, your quote is telling.

"Time is never time at all and you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of YOUTH"

And I did. Finally I realized I had missed that whole part of my growing up that I wanted to be all carefree. (My daughter introduced me to that song.) Any person who faces a serious health problem does grow up much sooner, whether they want to or not.So, I did finally have to face that my youth would never be what it was before.

So here's the part you'll be glad to hear: While diabetes was and sometimes still is a PIA, I decided early on that it was not going to stop me, or even slow me down. I was determined to find what worked for me so that I felt good and could do anything I wanted. And I did. You can click my forum name and read my bio.

Now that we have tools like insulin pens, pumps and glucose meters, We don't have to guess anymore and it doesn't really take very long to do the things we have to do. To have the very best health would take you approximately ten minutes a day. Two basal injections, three to five bolus injections--with a test before each one. You can do ten minutes. If you are down on going to the doctor, get yourself a book. Gary Scheiner's THINK LIKE A PANCREAS is a good one. If you want to know good doctors in your area, post it and we will send personal messages if you like.

We're here because we care and we all wish we'd had a place like this much sooner.

Please get to know us and let us get to know you. There is an amazing amount of combined knowledge here precisely because we wake up every morning with diabetes just like you.

Here's a hug from a fellow diabetic.

Mich

[RobiJo]

Norcal89 I do know what you mean. I suppose you go through moments where you're very motivated and other when your not as well. It crushes you when you feel you've been working hard and then the results are not there. (Actually I just got a call from my doc about my latest A1c...I've been working hard about lowering it...still far out of range.) Reading your post just reminded me of everything I've been through the last year and a half. I wish I knew when I was 18 what I know now. Here is a top 10 list of those things:

10. You NEED your family and friends to support you. (My husband constantly asks what my bg is--I hate it, but I NEED him to do this)
9. Don't beat yourself up over the bad numbers...work to figure why and how to prevent it from happening again.
8. Stay active. (My hardest one yet!)
7. Go to your doctor appointments and do your lab work. (Lying to the doc or putting things off does not make it better....I was famous for saying 2 more weeks of bgs will help get all my averages lower and then it would turn into months)
6. Read the forums in the Eye section on laser and vitrectomies. (Haunting stuff, I wish I would have just read about and not gone through)
5. Ask questions.
4. TEST TEST TEST (easier said than done, I understand. I've only done 2 today...not good)
3. know your A1c
2. Take your insulin on time and the right amount.
1. TEST TEST TEST (its worth repeating)

[Evil Tramp]

Hey Norcal89, I don't really have any good advice, but I'll post you my story and hope ity'll help you mate.
I'm 19 and had Type-1 diabetes like you for now almost three years since August 2005.
I remember being in the denial stage for quite some time, and my asshole father's bull**** didn't help either. After I went thorugh the depression stage after a couple weeks bargaining, and learnt to accept it. Though everyone's different and goes through different stages, I think that is actually quite an accurate and true outline.

I think the biggest thing that helped me is in realising that the actual changes I have to make aren't that big - luckily for me though, recently a sweet shop opened in my town, which has sugar-free varieties of every sugar-containing sweet they sell, which I think is pretty awsome, I'm sure there will be some close by, and even if there aren't there are loads of sugar-free varieties of most foods. Also the injections for me aren't abig problem anymore, and I'm living pretty much the same life as I was before, while still constrolling my bloood sugar quite well.
Just thought I'd let you know there's a diabetic out there who still manages to enjoy life and do things just like before.
Hope you all the best luck in the future.