Whats going on?

mccord89 · #1 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 04:44 PM

I really hate this..

I feel depressed and why is beyond me.

I shouldn't because everything is going pretty good for me, I am finally taking control of my life and getting everything together, and that feeling is amazing.

So why the depression..
The only reason I can think of.. I have all these blood tests and doctors appointments with my gynecologist to see whats going on and I have to wait a couple days every time before I know whats going on.

I have the results for my first blood test and the numbers were 18,000. I had to go back today and have another test done and won't know the results until tomorrow afternoon. Then after the doctor see's those I'll hopefully know what has to be done next. I'm really nervous about calling tomorrow.

But I can't wait to just get it all done, and know whats happening and such.

ant hill · #2 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 05:02 PM

hello Nicole, I feel for you as this can make us worry and feel scared to what happens next.
You are very much like me as I was diagnosed in 1971 aged 10 and those days diabetes is a misunderstood disease and believe me Nicole I was scared like you. please take the time to yourself and go to the park and feed the ducklings and do the thing that you like as I would like to see ballet as that's my childhood dream.
Hang in there Nicole, We are with you.

mell1682 · #3 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 05:09 PM

In September I had a bunch of stuff go wrong and I miscarried and didn't have any signs...I waited a week to do anything cuz I just shut down and was on autopilot. The whole week of not knowing what was going to happen was hard because I just wanted to be done with it and let my heart heal. I bet when you know all the answers to all your questions and your worries are addressed, it might take a moment but you'll start feeling better because you can move on and focus on other things and not worry about what's going on and calling the doctor. I hope you start feeling better soon.

mccord89 · #4 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 05:21 PM

I just can't wait to find out what it is.
The nurse today said it was way too soon to tell what happened, and that I'd have to wait for the second set of numbers to come back.

She said it very well could have been something else.
AHH.. I need to know like now.

mell1682 · #5 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 05:26 PM

I really hate that kind of panic...it's the worst feeling in the whole world when you JUST WANNA KNOW! I'm waiting on news involving whether I'll be able to move back home to Denver and my appt is tomorrow and I'm nervous...I don't wanna know but I do! I HATE WAITING! LoL.

genie86333 · #6 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 06:23 PM

Hi, Nicole.

Have you been diagnosed with depression or is what you are describing a feeling of sadness (about a bad event happening?) I'm not sure what you are referring to when you're talking about your tests/gynecologist, so I think I may have missed a thread somewhere.

The reason I'm asking is because there is a definite difference between being sad about something bad going on in your life & depression. It's natural to be sad/upset if life isn't going well but you say things are coming together for you (leading me to think it may be actual depression.) Mention to your doc what you're feeling, especially if it's ongoing.

mccord89 · #7 (**permalink**) 01-07-2009, 11:42 PM

I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression for sometime now. I have those phases where I'm fine for a while, then I'm depressed for a while.

The tests are blood tests to see where my Hcg levels are, and to see if what we think happened really happened.

cheric · #8 (**permalink**) 01-08-2009, 07:03 AM

Hey girl! Just hang in there! I went through a lot with my gyno last year. I dealt with all of the unanswered questions and not knowing what was going on with my body. I know how it feels to go through all of the tests and even surgeries. You really just have to take a step and take a deep breath. It will all work out in the end. I myself learned that I could not get pregnant the "conventional" way, but it is something that you just accept and learn to deal with. I am completely sympathetic to what you are feeling. Try to occupy yourself with other things so you can't just sit there and worry yourself to death. All the worrying is going to do is make you sick (literally in our case cuz you know how well our diabetic bodies respond to stress). Be sure to keep us informed as to what is going on with you. Keep your head up!