[ramon]

Hows this for a suggestion to make you feel better? Go to the I-MAX and see A Christmas Carol in 3D. Most stories have a happy ending. Take some one special with you and tell me you wont be smiling at the end of the day.

[skinny 'betic]

Keep your head up even when your numbers are up and live every day to the fullest because none of us knows when our number is gonna be up!

[lorilei]

Hi Jenb..so sorry you are in the pits... you have always been a calm and supportive rolemodel for me and i know you know that beating yourself up over the numbers, especially when you are already trying your hardest, is only going to work against you by making stress keep your numbers up as well. Sometimes, and we all know this, the body likes to throw us some curve balls....maybe your body is gearing up for the fight...please continue to remain the positive person you are and give yourself a good dose of love. I'll be thinking of you!

[Subby]

Originally Posted by jenb

Subby - I don't seem to be having much choice but to ease them . I've even increased my basal about 15% and am still running well over my target of 70 to 90 premeal and 110 to 140 PP.

This is so vexing!!! Definitely some little bug that won't quite become full fledged. I will be seeing my doctor on Monday, but of course by then it will have resolved. The only remaining evidence will be my possibly-elevated A1C. Wish I could convince myself that this is just another interesting challenge in the diabetes continuum, but right now it seems to be getting the better of me. I know you've been here too. YIKES!!!!

Jen

Been there indeed. Not unsympathetic at all, I hope it improves, and I reckon, it will. I know these times of increased hassle and difficulty, tend to magnify the little buzzing bees that can be in the background, courtesy of needing to keep an eye on this the whole time normally (or suffer multiple costs). I can see that in you at the moment, and completely understand. But, I can only offer a pragmatic approach of easing off (and reduce tests, challenge yourself to just not care a few times over the next few days....). To relax that iron grip properly, accept a loss of control. That's because this is the best gift I can give myself at those times - to truly shrug and relax the reigns, in the knowledge I need to do so in order to come back mentally refreshed for the time where what I do has a chance in actually resulting in good results, not just frustration.

That said I know that might be very good advice for you right now, I feel like I'm being antagonistic to your current mindstate. If so, I hope you put my input well to the side. I really hope the situation improves soon.

[jenb]

Originally Posted by Subby

But, I can only offer a pragmatic approach of easing off (and reduce tests, challenge yourself to just not care a few times over the next few days....). To relax that iron grip properly, accept a loss of control. That's because this is the best gift I can give myself at those times - to truly shrug and relax the reigns, in the knowledge I need to do so in order to come back mentally refreshed for the time where what I do has a chance in actually resulting in good results, not just frustration.

Wow Subby...you have nailed it. Everyone here really does spend a massive amount of energy being "in control" and it is exhausting. Thank you for this. While my conscious brain knows that I will not die if I relax control for a few days, I can hear that small voice in the background encouraging fear and uncertainty. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your counsel.

Jen

[jenb]

Lori - your good wishes will really help me through today. I think I'm going to head out to do some garden work...that almost always takes the edge off!

By the way, I just hosted my book group. My selection was "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. Surprisingly, everyone in the group really enjoyed it (they're quite a jaded bunch!). If you haven't read it yet, I can recommend it. You have to wade through a little melodrama, but the core story of the occupation of Guernsey during WWII is wonderful.

Best,
Jen

[jenb]

Thanks s'b. You're right...it's quite a ride!

Jen

[Mich]

Jen, all of those feelings are pretty normal with us kinda folks.
The feelings will pass. The dang diabetes won't. But you will prevail.

Read Diabetes Burnout by William Polonsky. It might help you feel better.

Mich

[jenb]

Thanks for the recommendation Mich. Funny - months ago I thought of getting that book but said to myself "Burnout? I won't get no stinkin' burnout." Ha, ha! ' guess I'm a mere mortal after all.

Jen

[Jan B]

Originally Posted by jenb

Wow Subby...you have nailed it. Everyone here really does spend a massive amount of energy being "in control" and it is exhausting. Thank you for this. While my conscious brain knows that I will not die if I relax control for a few days, I can hear that small voice in the background encouraging fear and uncertainty. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your counsel.

Jen

Jen,

I have so many thoughts that I can't express well (or don't put the time and patience into it), and there have been several instances of Subby drawing my thoughts right out of my brain and putting them in his words.

I can get very stuck going in the route of perfection at times. The rest of the story is that I can also get stuck straying way away from even trying to be "perfect" as far as good bgs go. Balance for me, and lot's of us, is a huge challenge. You really do have it together ... don't be so hard on yourself

[jenb]

Thanks for your encouragement Jan. I'm in awe of you and Subby and others who have persevered with the ups and downs of diabetes for many years. I'm pretty new at it (diagnosed in December 2007) and know I have many years to go. You all really do inspire me to muddle through the down times. Truly, I am blessed.

Jen

[lorilei]

No problem..you have been there for me..through new highs and experiements with eating out. we are both newer 1's and newer to this thinking. i get you and i am so sorry that things are beyond your control..i just want you to stop beating yourself up. xoxo

[soso]

Hi Jen
Of course I know how you feel..the daily grind..then it just won't blinkingwell behave and you just feel you don't have any reserves left to fight... rellies don't take it all that seriously cos they see you coping and doing so well the rest of the time...
You will get on top of it again and your sister does care and love you...she is just a bit preoccupied with her own challenges right now prolly..also, I have noticed it has taken some of my nearest and dearest a while to feel comfortable taking it as seriously as we have to..and I think that is due to the fear they feel for us, it's their period of denial.
I will toast you with a rum and coke and it will have to be a virtual one as I am on the wagon! (tee hee...think you've got problems...)

Hope you feel much better very very soon....

[dbaratta]

Originally Posted by Bountyman

Maybe what you need to put some filler in between the injecting and the testing. Like:

Inject
then a shot of Tequila
then a good movie
two cookies with the movie
cup of coffee
sex
a little mischief
vent on the internet
then another test
Inject
then another shot of Tequila

ROTFLMAO.........................I like the way you think partner! LOL

[shiftzor]

My advise is to not use your fist or head to hit the wall, a better option would be a sledge hammer or a jackhammer.

I have had a stressful couple of weeks and am glad to be on the other side. Bgs can mess up sleeping so badly, its a nightmare to get out of, you feel tired and then you don't want to wake at 2am to test. Sleeping in isn't always an option . The cycle continues until the thing that caused the stress goes and the erratic bgs begin to normalise. Getting out on my bike has really helped me relax today .