Hello, I need your help!

EmilyW · #1 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 09:43 AM

Good morning everyone,

I am new here, and I don't have diabetes. However, my husband does & it is rampant on his side of the family.

The problem right now is with my mother in law. She got an infection in her toenail and has been hospitalized for three days because of it. Yesterday, she had surgery to cut it open & drain it.

Now it won't stop bleeding. The doctor said if it doesn't stop in the next day or two they might have to take it off (amputate!)

Can some of you experts tell me what to do or how I can be an advocate for her? I feel like she needs someone between her & the doctor's decision, but I don't have enough knowledge to help.

Any suggestions you can give me will be appeciated! Thank you!

Emily

notme · #2 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 10:13 AM

Without knowing all of your mother in law,and her medical history, it would be difficult for anyone to advise you. However, being an advocate for your mother-in-law only requires you to ask all of the questions that she would ask if she was able to do so. Is she unable to correspond with the doctors?? Is she too medicated?

Tell her doctor that you want to know what the result would be if he did not amputate. Ask him how amputating will stop the bleeding? Read on the internet and ask for a second opinion from another specialist.

End of the day, she may lose her toe. If it saves her life, then it is a far better alternative to losing her life.

You are a great daughter-in-law for caring. Talk to your husband and make sure he feels included in any decisions.

Good luck Emily and keep us posted.

EmilyW · #3 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 10:31 AM

Thank you Nancy, I will get busy reading.

She is medicated to the point that she forgets to ask questions, and forgets what he tells her. It seems like we wait & wait for the doctor to come, and the invariably he comes as soon as we leave. Not today though, I'm going to plant my butt there until we get some answers. So I better get going.

Thanks for your help, I will be back home tonight and will keep you posted.
Love your quote by the way!
Emily

shockme · #4 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 10:36 AM

hi emily!you're a great daughter-in-law!i'd like to know why they would amputate to stop the bleeding?!keep us posted,please!take care,trish

andypoo · #5 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 01:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shockme

hi emily!you're a great daughter-in-law!i'd like to know why they would amputate to stop the bleeding?!keep us posted,please!take care,trish

Exactly, Wouldn't that make it continue to bleed? that doesn't make sense to me. Definetly may need someone who deals in healing diabetic wounds,where they deal with that kind of stuff. Please let us know how she gets. I'll have her in my thoughts and prayers. You,too,you're a very good daughter-in-law.

EmilyW · #6 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 04:56 PM

Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for your replies. I have more information now, and there was a communication breakdown. Like I said above, she forgets what he tells her.

He said that actually the bleeding, while excessive, is not a bad thing because it shows that there is still circulation in the toe. They are going to continue the IV antibiotics (and are sending her home with an IV!?) for the next two weeks to give the toe time to heal. If it does NOT begin to heal and just keeps on bleeding, THEN they will have to make a decision about amputation.

She is the sweetest lady in the world. I am going to try to get her old computer going so she can get on here & talk to you all herself. It would do her so much good.

Thanks & I'm sorry I mis-represented the situation this morning. I was alarmed at the thought of her losing a body part. She may still, but as she said, "Keep your fingers crossed!"

Emily

shockme · #7 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 05:16 PM

hi emily!i'm glad that got all sorted out!is she going to have private duty nurses to give her the iv meds and manage the iv?it would be great if she would join us,too!take care,trish

EmilyW · #8 (**permalink**) 06-16-2007, 07:34 PM

Trish,

She will have a home health nurse coming in to do the iv thing & change the dressing. I wasn't able to pin down how often they will come.

Good night & take care!

Emily

babs2000 · #9 (**permalink**) 06-17-2007, 09:24 AM

If she has and infection in the toe make sure she doesn't have osteomylits(infection in the bone). It seems like to me that would be the only reason for her to need the amputation. That's my opinion. Beth

Dan Gato · #10 (**permalink**) 06-17-2007, 09:46 AM

Emily,
Get her glucose meter & keep testing her.
See how high or low the glucose is, so she takes her meds or insulin timely. also watch her diet.

EmilyW · #11 (**permalink**) 06-17-2007, 11:43 AM

Thanks everyone. I will check on that bone infection.

She is notorious in our family for not taking care of herself, eating too much of the wrong things, not exersizing, ect. (but doesn't smoke or drink) to the point that some family members have kind of "given up" on her. But she says she has been "scared straight" this time and is willing to work hard to get herself healthy again. She's only 54. It is going to take a big effort on her part to turn her life around. Hopefully, this is the wake up call that will do it.

Emily

andypoo · #12 (**permalink**) 06-17-2007, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmilyW

Thanks everyone. I will check on that bone infection.

She is notorious in our family for not taking care of herself, eating too much of the wrong things, not exersizing, ect. (but doesn't smoke or drink) to the point that some family members have kind of "given up" on her. But she says she has been "scared straight" this time and is willing to work hard to get herself healthy again. She's only 54. It is going to take a big effort on her part to turn her life around. Hopefully, this is the wake up call that will do it.

Emily

That's kind of like my wake up call when I was 46 in 98' I had a heart attack. I am now 54,and want to continue as long as God will let me.

EmilyW · #13 (**permalink**) 07-14-2007, 05:56 PM

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to update you on my mother in law because you guys were so helpful to me before.

This little toe infection has turned into our worst nightmare. Last time I told you guys that they were sending her home with the IV. Well, that lasted about 12 hours and she got delirious and uncoordinated and was rushed back to the hospital. She had developed a bad infection, which raised her potassium to a dangerous level. They gave her some medicine for that (not sure what it was) but it caused her to have really uncontrollable diarrhea. This condition apparenty led to a tear in her colon, which they tried unsuccessfully to repair with a colonoscopy, so she had to have surgery. Her lungs began filling up with fluid after the surgery, so they had to put her back on the ventilator. Then her kidneys started shutting down, so they put her on a CRRT machine (a slow dialysis.)
The ventilator she was on was not sustaining her saturation level, so she was put on a high-power vent that sounds like a train, and had to be put in a paralytic (sp?) state. Also, she is on medication to keep her blood pressure stable. Has been in the ICU since shortly after I wrote to you all the last time.

And that is where we stand. The doctors have given us very little hope of recovery.

I'm sorry for the long & sad story, but there is a point to it, if I can help someone else by telling it:

Please, please take care of yourselves. Take your blood sugar like you are supposed to. Eat right & lose weight. Go to the podiatrist to have your toenails cut if you have advanced diabetes. My sweet mother in law said she would be "scared straight" after this incident, but now it looks like she won't get that chance.

I know I am preaching to the choir, and all of you know more about diabetes than I do. Please don't take offense.

Take care,

(Brokenhearted) Emily

Dan Gato · #14 (**permalink**) 07-14-2007, 07:25 PM

Hi Emily.
Thanks for your post.

Don't give up yet. all of you keep trying, be positive.

How are you holding up? how is your husband's diabetes?

EmilyW · #15 (**permalink**) 07-14-2007, 08:29 PM

Thanks for your kind words, Dan.

My husband is alternately in denial or a total wreck. But, his diabetes is under control, except that he still needs to lose a few pounds.

We are trying hard to stay positive. This post is as honest as I have been about it, I guess even to myself. It helps a lot to write it down like this, makes it more real & more of a practical situation that has to be faced up to.

Thanks,
Emily