[Misty8723]

I'm out of control. I was diagnosed last January, with an a1c of 10. Got it down to 6 by July, went on vaction, did good on vacation, then came back home and just lost all my motivation. I can't get back on track, I can't even think about it. I think, okay I don't like how I feel, then I go eat some candy bars (or whatever). I hardly ever test anymore. When I do, it's usually up around 200+. I'm so disgusted with myself I could cry. Then again, other times I just don't really give a fig.

[Isometric]

I have SO been there, Misty! The numbers keep your feet planted on the ground, so when you don't want to deal with the fact that you've got a disease that needs constant monitoring and managing, you quit looking at the numbers. I got diagnosed and did all the right things - got my A1c down to a 5.8, and then I ignored it. I quit testing, quit taking meds, quit keeping a close eye on what I ate, and I got a pretty loud wake-up call when I finally saw what ignoring diabetes got me: a 12.9 A1c and insulin therapy. Bottom line, if you're like me and tend to go in streaks - really good control for a while, ignore for a while, etc. - there are two things that you can do to get yourself ready to take back control. 1) Test yourself. There is no avoiding that number on the screen. When you are faced with the high numbers every day, you will find yourself wanting to do what it takes to bring them down. 2) Talk to your family, your friends, and your doctors. Educate them if they don't already know. Share the struggle. It is a monumental task to handle by yourself, so there's no sense in trying if you've got people that will listen and encourage you along the way.

Meet this with resolve and not self-disgust - you are not alone, and you are certainly not going to be the last person who lets things slide a little bit. No one here thinks less of you for doing it, because almost all of us here have done something similar before. You can and will feel better when those numbers come down!

Also, when you check back here, let us know what kind of meds you're on (if any). Perhaps we can help you figure out some helpful questions to take to your next doctor's visit if we know what he/she has already tried. Remember - test, test, test. Just knowing what your blood sugar is can be the motivation you need to do something about it. Good luck, and keep us posted!

[volleyball]

Just read through the posts and see everyones ailments and decide if you prefer those or to take care of yourself.
It's never too late to start but the sooner you start and stick with it, you'll be that further ahead

[wiseguy]

Some words that keep me motivated are blindness, heart disease, amputation, kidney failure, dialysis, and other such things that can happen if I don't control my diabetes. What words might motivate you?

[notme]

Hi Misty, we have all been there at one time or another. I don't think there are to many of us that don't think we could do better. I found that coming here and reading and chatting with others motivated me. We have all kinds here. Some people are very detail oriented and some are just plain motivated. A lot of us fall into the middle and then there are the ones that fall off track and are trying to get back on. Bottom line is there is nobody who cares more about your health than you. Don't get me wrong, we really care......but nobody cares MORE than you.

Come and visit often, every day if you can. Chat with people and get ideas and motivation. Report your great days and share your bad ones. Many of us that find that motivation here.

I bet in time, you will be motivating others!

[mg_2204]

We've all been there. Many times! Me the first. I find the longer I have been off track, the harder.

Plan for a week in advance. Plan your menu, buy what you need.

And get rid of whatever isn't good for you. Even if unopened! They say a craving lasts approx 2 to 5 minutes and that's true. If it's not in the house, you won't be able to get your hands on it within the 5 min frame.

If you know what foods work best for you blood glucose wise, load your fridge and pantry with what agrees best with you. Have a healthy snack between meals. Prepare the snacks in advance, have a healthy dip perhaps, the idea is for the snacks (and healthy meals!) to be ready and very easy to get. As easy as getting a candy bar let's say!

Print a list of complications from diabetes and stick it on your fridge, pantry, wherever!

Perhaps sticking the nicest picture you have of yourself, one you find yourself healthy looking, one you really like on your fridge, on a cupboard door, anywhere you're bound to see it often might work better for you?

When you feel down, grab a big glass of water, sit at your computer and visit the forum. Private message someone! Go into the chat room! Post a rant. Post anything! There is always someone around.

Drink lots of water.

Exercise! When out shopping (or off to work) park as far farrrr away as possible. Invite a friend to take a walk. Vacuum like a mad person. Anything!

And don't feel bad. Don't beat yourself up. That stupid disease is disgusting but you certainly are not!

The very best to you!

[Misty8723]

Thank you Isometric, notme, and mg_2204 for the wonderful words of encouragement. I am going to try to start fresh tomorrow morning (Monday), keep track of everything, etc. I'm gradually tapering back down to doing what I know I need to do. Not quite there yet. I'm going to the doctor Tuesday, I'll see what he has to say. He's not always all that helpful, and I have a laundry list of stuff I want to ask him about.

Isometric - I'm on 5 mg of glipizide for the diabetes. I know it works when I do what I'm supposed to do. For a while I had to cut the pills in half and take half in the morning and half in the evening because my numbers were going down too low around 10:00 AM. I'm also on 150 mg of Wellbutrin for depression. I'm trying to taper off that and taking only one every other day. I don't like the side effects. I probably need to take more not less, but it won't help me if I lose my job due to short term memory loss.

wiseguy - apparently those words don't motivate me enough. You'd think they would, wouldn't you?

volleyball - I have read the posts. I've heard the stories. I've been to the classes. I see what my sister is going through. I don't want to have any of those problems, I just can't get myself together enough to do what I need to do to prevent it.

I'm still not sure how I'm going to manage, but I have to try. I have enough free meters (thanks to this site), and a huge backlog of strips from the insurance company - no excuses for not testing!

Thank you all again, for taking the time to talk to me

[Old man]

I just think of the last few years of my father's life, stroke, heart attack, dialysis, 80% vision loss, and lower leg amputation. His sugar was just a little high.
Every week or two I visit my uncle, daddy's brother, in the nursing home. He lost his right leg above the knee last September to gangrene and for Christmas they took his left below the knee. He has a weak heart and his sugar is alittle high.
My sister half-heartedly controls her BG. She seems determined to die first and hang me with the funeral bill, lol!
Just focussing of the negative helps me. But all of us are human and just get tired from time to time.
Actually good or improveing numbers encourages me even more and I bet that will work for you too. Earlier post in this thread seem to have great positive ideas. You'll get your motivation back because you want to or you would not have posted. Good luck.

[Alice]

This is a little off-beat...but has worked for me:

I joined Weight Watchers...more for the motivation of exercise than anything. Some WW groups are more into exercise than others, so find a group that suits you.

A word of caution...you will hear a lot of old wives tales in WW about diabetes. They don't seem to understand the carb counting concept at all...so I learned not to even bring up D in my new groups. (They do a good job of including what is important in a diet...a point system including calories, fat & fiber)...but they don't count carbs, so you still have to do that on your own. Which we do anyway, right?

I just found that the whole WW base is built on the ADA recommendations anyway. Just don't turn it into a diabetes support group...you won't find the support there...or it will be out-of-date info from well-meaning people.

Just join like anyone else...people are there to be motivated to take care of themselves. You will see people of all shapes and sizes. Most lost more weight than I...seems it took me a year to lose my 10 lbs...some lost that in 3 weeks! Still, it got me back on track about concentrating on ME instead of just my diabetes.

Many attend to simply maintain a healthy lifestyle...not for weight loss necessarily.

Just a thought. There are other similar groups, I'm sure. I'm not affiliated with WW, but it's a good group of people and easy to find a location almost anywhere.

[Misty8723]

Originally Posted by Alice

This is a little off-beat...but has worked for me:

I joined Weight Watchers...more for the motivation of exercise than anything. Some WW groups are more into exercise than others, so find a group that suits you.

A word of caution...you will hear a lot of old wives tales in WW about diabetes. They don't seem to understand the carb counting concept at all...so I learned not to even bring up D in my new groups. (They do a good job of including what is important in a diet...a point system including calories, fat & fiber)...but they don't count carbs, so you still have to do that on your own. Which we do anyway, right?

I just found that the whole WW base is built on the ADA recommendations anyway. Just don't turn it into a diabetes support group...you won't find the support there...or it will be out-of-date info from well-meaning people.

Just join like anyone else...people are there to be motivated to take care of themselves. You will see people of all shapes and sizes. Most lost more weight than I...seems it took me a year to lose my 10 lbs...some lost that in 3 weeks! Still, it got me back on track about concentrating on ME instead of just my diabetes.

Many attend to simply maintain a healthy lifestyle...not for weight loss necessarily.

Just a thought. There are other similar groups, I'm sure. I'm not affiliated with WW, but it's a good group of people and easy to find a location almost anywhere.

I have joined weight watchers in the past, and found the meetings extremely unhelpful for any reason. Definitely didn't motivate me to do anything. I'm sure the idea is to find the right group of people, but the ones here just pretty much sit in their chairs and listen to a speaker telling us what we should be doing.

But it does give me an idea that maybe I should look into overeaters anonymous or TOPS. I think they have groups in the area.

I had wanted to find a diabetes support group, but the only one in the area is located in a place that I'm not willing to drive to, and at a bad time for me as well.

But thanks for that suggestion, I'm off to look into OEA and TOPS.

[RLK]

Misty, I think we're all been there at one time or another. You're certainly not alone! Geez, just look at all of the people here on DF, and figure that each of us has felt that way at least once. You've got plenty of company!

Coming here to DF on a regular basis has done so much for my care and control and motivation. I've "met" all of these people who understand diabetes, and they're here any time that I need help, or just someone to listen while I vent, and that is such an uplifting feeling. Keep coming back to see us, and I know that you'll feel better.

Y'know what motivates me most, day to day? Knowing how much better I feel physically when my BGs are in check. When I'm running high, I feel tired, grouchy and miserable. And knowing that I'll feel better today (not 50 years from now) and be able to enjoy the people and activities that are important to me helps me focus my efforts.

*Hugs* Hang in there- you can do this!

[princesslinda]

I think we all go through times when its harder to stay motivated than others times. The holidays are particularly hard for me...as there is so much focus of food.

Right now its the New year, time for a new beginning. Just resolve that starting this year, you will be more diligent about doing all that you know you need to do to keep your diabetes in check. YOU are worth it, you deservce to have a long and happy, complication-free life.

If your #s are up, you're not feeling as good as you could feel. I remember that after getting my numbers under control, I had much more energy and felt so much better....I didn't realize how bad I felt until I felt better. If you've gotten off track, you've probably forgotten how good "on-track" feels.

No one here can motivate you...that has to come from within. Whether your motivation is fear, health, family, etc...YOU need to find what motivates you, and take it one day at a time. Looking at things long-term can become discouraging, but tell yourself "Today i'll do EVERYTHING i'm supposed to do." Then tomorrow, try saying it again. We all have good days and bad days, just don't let your bad days become bad WEEKS or bad MONTHS. Pick yourself up, be positive and take control of this.

Whether you control your diabetes or not, its not going away, so why not try really hard to control it?

For me, I have a few pictures in my mind that motivate me. The most prominent one is a picture of my mother, age 54, one leg amputated, legally blind from retinopathy, dying from renal failure secondary to many years of uncontrolled diabetes. Fear is a powerful motivator for me.

Secondly, I look at my husband and think of our dreams for the future, the places we want to see when we retire. I want to grow old with him and do all we've planned to do.

Thirdly, I look in the mirror and see someone who deserves to feel good, look good and be healthy. I am the ONLY one who can make this happen.

You hang in there! We're here to help.

[Alice]

I was just thinking about "motivation"...which I rarely think about...so you brought up a good subject with your original topic.

I have found that you will get very little "support, recognition & congrats" when you are in your "top form" as a diabetic. (Except on this forum!)...you have to be the one to pat yourself on the back...don't look for anyone to do that for you. If anything, we are most upset by comments made by people who don't realize how hard we are working to be "normal".

Therefore, you must give yourself permission to "toot your own horn". Just walk around your house one day and smile at yourself when you are having a "good day with the numbers". Those days make up for the bad days.

[Jan B]

Misty,

My motivation is seeing good numbers on my meter. I am not motivated at all by fear. I've been on this forum for about 4 months now, and it took me about 2 months before I began doing exactly what I needed to do -- CARE MORE about myself.

I'm much better now; I check more often, and haven't even seen over 200+ on my meter in quite a while!!!! For several months, I considered that number ok.

I can't praise this forum enough for getting me back on track. I'm so happy I'm not nearly as alone as I used to feel. I even quit smoking --

Just last week, I gave three Type 2s and one Type 1 the name of this forum.

[davef]

Originally Posted by Jan B

I'm much better now; I check more often, and haven't even seen over 200+ on my meter in quite a while!!!! For several months, I considered that number ok.

I can't praise this forum enough for getting me back on track. I'm so happy I'm not nearly as alone as I used to feel. I even quit smoking --

Just last week, I gave three Type 2s and one Type 1 the name of this forum.

Jan B,

I agree with you, I'm motivated by my "battle" with my meter, when I was diagnosed first I had readings between 260-320 and have worked over the past 6-8 weeks to get this down. I'm now managing to keep my numbers down around 100 (sometimes a little lower), on one occasion over the holidays I spiked to 180 and boy was I p***ed with myself, when I started out I would have been thrilled with 180, not anymore though.

The complications are something I think about sometimes, but feel if I can deal with something real. that's here now, my numbers then it will reduce the risks of complications. Kind of along the lines of watch the pennies and the dollars will look after themselves.