[Lulika]

I was at work today, talking to a good friend and colleague about my new diagnosis. I haven't told everyone, as I am still getting used to it myself. I happened to tell her that I have Type 2, and another woman passing by said "Oh diabetes? Type 2? So you're not a real diabetic then!"
I had no clue as to what she meant so I asked her and she said "well, real diabetics are people who are born with, or get it as children. Type 2's are just the ones who let themselves go and overeat,aren't they? You could have avoided that if you hadn't been overweight".

I was stunned and shocked that anyone could be so rude..and as a newly diagnosed diabetic, I didn't know what on earth to say to her. It really upset me...has anyone else been met with such nastiness?
Thr truth is, I still don't know enough about this disease to know if there is even a grain of truth in her words. I mean, I understand that being overweight might be a contributing factor but is it really that simple?

[muse]

This is a classic example of what I call being "blamed but not trained" - it is so unfair and really sets you back. I have been there, and when it happens now, I let people know what an unfair statement it is.

First of all, you can't blame someone for not knowing something. We are all here to learn, it is just that some of us have more experience than others.

Secondly, there are genetic predispositions to diabetes, just like there are genetic predispositions to gallstones. Some will be more prone than others.

But most importantly, we are all in a society that has forgotten how to eat. The daily food for most Americans, is poisoned, because of the food composition - the ratio of fat to protein to carbs. The human body needs a more or less even balance of these three, it is like putting a bad fuel mixture into your car. You would not expect to get efficient mileage from a car that you put the wrong fuel mixture into. We are all surrounded by bad fats that increase insulin resistance, by bad carbs that make you hungrier when you eat them, and by way too many calories in every fast food meal. When we all eat unconsciously, with very little knowledge or support from others, we fall victim to the greater waves of energy that we do not know enough to avoid. That is pretty much the case of every type II in America now.

The task is to become a conscious eater. Actually, I am very glad I went through what I did, because now I can show my two daughters, who are genetically prone to type 2, how to avoid it. They don't listen very well, but at least they have seen the transformation I went through, and as they get older, perhaps they will make it part of their lives, too.

At least they know I don't blame them. I love them. We all need more of that.

Muse

[davef]

Lulika,

I'm sorry to hear you had a negative experience, unfortunately there are rude and ignorant people out there. It would seem that one of the last remaining socially acceptable discrimminations is against overweight people, many people feel it is acceptable to comment on weight but would think twice about commenting on skin colour or religion.

The simple fact of the matter is, you have diabetes, but it is NOT your fault. There are many overwieght people who will never develop diabetes because the do not have the "diabetes gene" necessary.

For me somebody saying you don't have real diabetes is like a woman being a little pregnant, they either or not, they can't be a little bit.

These people need educating, but they don't deserve your energy. At times, when I'm not feeling tolerant, I have been known to respond with, "I may be overweight, but I can lose weight, you can't change you personality and will always be rude"

Don't let these people get to you, you do what you need to look after yourself and control your diabetes. Who you tell is your call and you will know yourself which of your friends and colleagues will be supportive. Be aware that you will encounter the "diabetes police", friends/family who with the best will in the world will be watching what you eat and ask if you can eat something. My standard reply is "I can eat anything, but there are some things I choose not to eat".

Chin up and keep on keeping on.

[Lulika]

Thanks Dave...thats a comforting reply!!

[Olidus]

Wow - ignorance is bliss.

Some people really do have a lot of nerve.
With what your un-educated on diabetes co-worker said it means that I am not a true diabetic.
I was diagnosed 1 week before my 30th Birthday as Type 1.
So I guess I don't really need the insulin every time I eat to stay alive.
Ha!
I wish.

Lulika , the best thing you can do is let these comments bounce right off you. The more and more people I talk to about Diabetes it shocks me about how little the general population really knows about the disease.

Learn as much as you can about it - for myself I learn something new about the D almost every day.

And when you hear another comment like this from someone best to shake you head, laugh at them and suggest that they research a little bit more before they start to preach about it.

[Holly]

You could say..... Yes - but I'm so much sweeter than you!
Jeesh. I too get tired of victim-blaming.

[Stuboy]

arse.

I would have turned around to her and said something like "ok, so when you're an expert in the field of Diabetes and actually know what you're talking about, maybe you can come back and poke your nose in uninvited. until then... HOP IT!"

the general public have no idea.

Just to warn you... you will have comments for the food police as well as some point "you can't eat that, you're diabetic!" "are you allowed that?" "You're not allowed"

those are the comment i particularly hate.

You just have to be quick with these people and make them realise they're understanding of diabetes is wrong and take the opertunity to educate them a little... even if yo udo it in the most sarcastic manner you can think of to put them in their place.

[morrisma]

Awful. Just awful.
Take heart and imagine something nice - not her - and understand she will not be the last to spout ignorance.
Sorry.
Mike

[xMenace]

* sigh *

[Schlep]

Originally Posted by Lulika

I was at work today, talking to a good friend and colleague about my new diagnosis. I haven't told everyone, as I am still getting used to it myself. I happened to tell her that I have Type 2, and another woman passing by said "Oh diabetes? Type 2? So you're not a real diabetic then!"
I had no clue as to what she meant so I asked her and she said "well, real diabetics are people who are born with, or get it as children. Type 2's are just the ones who let themselves go and overeat,aren't they? You could have avoided that if you hadn't been overweight".

I was stunned and shocked that anyone could be so rude..and as a newly diagnosed diabetic, I didn't know what on earth to say to her. It really upset me...has anyone else been met with such nastiness?
Thr truth is, I still don't know enough about this disease to know if there is even a grain of truth in her words. I mean, I understand that being overweight might be a contributing factor but is it really that simple?

As with any disease we have to learn to not only cope with the disease but learn tolerance.

Think about how educated you were before you became diabetic, and take the opportunity to teach others about the disease so they will not remain without knowledge.

I know when someone passes out chocolates and bypasses me then says you can't have this it hurts but we must learn to let these things roll off.

Was the person passing out chocolates being rude or just trying to let me know they did not forget about me?

Because of this disease we must learn to practice tolerance and also learn to teach others so the next diabetic will not get their feelings hurt by that person.

[Jan B]

Originally Posted by Schlep

As with any disease we have to learn to not only cope with the disease but learn tolerance.

Think about how educated you were before you became diabetic, and take the opportunity to teach others about the disease so they will not remain without knowledge.

I know when someone passes out chocolates and bypasses me then says you can't have this it hurts but we must learn to let these things roll off.

Was the person passing out chocolates being rude or just trying to let me know they did not forget about me?

Because of this disease we must learn to practice tolerance and also learn to teach others so the next diabetic will not get their feelings hurt by that person.

Very impressive comments Schlep.

[princesslinda]

Lulika, after this, guess you can say you're "offically' a diabetic now...unfortunately it does sometimes come with the territory.

It never ceases to amaze me how people feel they have the right to make ugly and hurtful comments whenever they feel like it.

If you had a co-worker who had smoked for years and developed lung cancer, would you say "well, perhaps if you hadn't smoked all those years this wouldn't be happening?" OF COURSE NOT!!!! but..."you can't fix stupid."

The main thing you have to realize is that diabetes isn't your fault....there are plenty of overweight people who aren't diabetic...and there are plenty of T2s who aren't overweight. Sure our lifestyles may bring on diabetes earlier than if we had been more "proactive" and kept the weight off and always watched our carbs...but maybe not...anyway, there's no point in focusing on the "what if's." We could do that in all parts of our lives....with nothing positive coming from those reflections.

Bottom line...you have diabetes, its not going away, but you have the choice to take the steps you need to take to live a long, healthy and happy life.

Your co-worker is obviously a very unhappy person to say such ugly things...you should pity her.

Next time she says something like that, look at her and say "you know, at some point YOU'RE going to have a disease too, and wouldn't you rather people support you than try to make you feel bad?" If you can't support me, please don't comment at all, as I don't need anymore problems."

You hang in there!

[Jan B]

Lulika,

You are so nice; I really am sorry this horrible/tacky person had to come your way. She'll get hers sometime, someday and in some way. (Now I don't sound nice.)

[Cyborg]

Unfortunately, there is a big misconception and stereotype towards diabetics and diabetes. Much of the lack of knowledge of the disease comes from the media.

Try to brush off the statements and don't let them bother you in anyway. IMO, the best thing to do is to inform them of the facts regarding this disease so they don't continue to make incorrect hurtful statements to other diabetics.

[Schlep]

Originally Posted by Cyborg

Unfortunately, there is a big misconception and stereotype towards diabetics and diabetes. Much of the lack of knowledge of the disease comes from the media.

Try to brush off the statements and don't let them bother you in anyway. IMO, the best thing to do is to inform them of the facts regarding this disease so they don't continue to make incorrect hurtful statements to other diabetics.

Thank You ..........