[Chappo]

Originally Posted by xMenace

I had some free sandies at an event Wednesday evening. I was hungry so I had four halves. The meat was alright, but the bread was simply brutal. It was the first store-bought bread I've had since November except for a hambaurger bun in April. God awful stuff this bread. Once you do homemade, you can't do that stuff again, free or not. Next time it get's passed over. Thanks for making me type that!

And you probably don't have Coeliac's to look after as well!

To the OP: I think it's better to use whatever you're more comfortable with. You shouldn't have to be forced to eat because you don't want to mention either IBS or Diabetes.

In fact, i think it's a pride thing for me when i kindly turn food down - i know i've made the right decision and it takes some guts to do that.

[xMenace]

Originally Posted by Chappo

And you probably don't have Coeliac's to look after as well!

No I don't.

My SIL in waiting does. I'm quite impressed at his ability to say no to food.

[barbarac]

Most of you seem to have understanding friends. Mine don't seem to understand. Like one gave me a big tin of homemade peanut brittle at Christmas (which I love, but could anything be worse for you), another got a big basket at Sam's that had all kinds of chocolates, cookies, and crackers in it. What kind of present is that to give someone you know who is diabetic, trying, but in bad control. Going out to eat they love (and so do I) places I should not be going--like Cracker Barrel, Golden Coral (all you can eat buffet place). I think if they knew how lousy I feel a lot and what my numbers are maybe they would be more understanding, but . . .

[Hammer]

I'm glad everyone is adding to this thread. It lets me know that you have the same problems as I do with food offerings.

mortis505....don't ever hesitate to give an honest opinion....especially to me. I appreciate what you have to say, and no offense would ever be taken.

The thing is, IBS isn't something you can hide. I mean, when you're in the middle of a meal and you have to stop to go to the bathroom (several times), people will begin to ask questions. Add to that the fact that my mother has IBS and it's something we discuss all the time. To be honest I don't think I have IBS. I think my stomach problems were being caused by my high BG levels. Once I got my numbers down to a more normal level, the IBS disappeared. I haven't had any more stomach problems since my numbers reached the normal range.

Also, I'm not embarrassed about my diabetes, I just don't like to tell people my problems. I've always been that way. If a family member somehow found out, I guess I'd have to deal with it. Here in the DB forum, I'm anonymous, so talking about it isn't the same as talking to family. If anyone remembers, I really hadn't planned on talking about it in here either, but the really nice people here kind of opened me up, so I feel comfortable discussing things here.

As I mentioned earlier, I don't tell people because I don't want them to worry about me. My mother had to watch her parents both die from diabetes. She also saw her husband (my stepfather) die from it. Her oldest brother died from it. Her oldest sister is dying from it. Her younger sister was just diagnosed with it. My mom and her youngest brother are the only two in her family that don't have it. In her eyes, diabetes has taken away her family so it scares her. Everyone she has ever known and loved who had it has died from it. Why tell her I have it? It would serve no purpose except to scare her and make her worry. If she were to find out, she wouldn't be mad that I didn't tell her, she'd just go crazy with worry.

I may end up being forced to tell my older brother soon because he's talking about coming home for a visit. When he visits, he usually stays at my place. If that happens, there's no way I can hide 25 Lantus Solostar pens and several Byetta boxes in my refrigerator. He's going to see them and ask about them.....not to mention the boxes of needles and all the bags of cotton balls, bottles of alcohol, boxes of test strips, lancets, etc. I could probably hide the needles and stuff, but the Lantus and Byetta need to be stored in the refrigerator. I'll worry about it when it happens.

One reason I think that people who know a person is diabetic yet still try to get them to eat the wrong foods is because diabetes has no visible signs. We don't look sick. We don't have pale skin, hives, rashes, or anything else that's physically visible. Since they see no visible signs of illness, they figure the disease can't be all that bad, so what's the harm in eating a few sweets? They don't understand that if they were to see visible signs of the disease, it would be too late.

That reminds me of when I used to go to the gym. I was in excellent shape back then....no fat, trim waist, muscular arms. When I wasn't able to go somewhere with friends because I told them I had to go to the gym, they'd respond with, "Why do you need to go to the gym? You're in great shape." Did they think I was born in great shape? Did they think I just sat around and watched TV to stay in shape? If I didn't go to the gym, I wouldn't have been in great shape.

[Chappo]

Originally Posted by xMenace

No I don't.

My SIL in waiting does. I'm quite impressed at his ability to say no to food.

Oh, SIL in waiting! So therefore a big Congratulations to you is due!!!!



Luckily there are 3 Coeliac's at my workplace (insane, really) so we all share tips and have our lunches together. Kind of fun, really

[thelitov]

Hi Hammer, That KFC outlet manager is sure mighty generous giving you that big cake. We don't have these special trwats at our KFC. Maybe he's also diabetic and just giving it away. Hah!
I'd probably have a taste (one thin slice) and bring it to office next day.

[UpNorth]

Hmmm if it's around family, then you could just say you want to avoid those carbs because they make you feel unwell these days. You don't need to say you're diabetic, but give them a hint sort of. Simply say you feel better on low carb diet, if you have to, then you could say you think you might be diabetic so the low carbs makes you feel better...

Everyone around me knows i'm diabetic, but i've asked them to not change anything when it comes to dinners and things like that. I know myself what i can handle and not and in what amounts. Sure, i'm T1 and on insulin so i have a lot more flexibility that way... I just cover what i eat with insulin...
I even have cake quite often

[volleyball]

Originally Posted by Hammer

I'm glad everyone is adding to this thread. It lets me know that you have the same problems as I do with food offerings.

mortis505....don't ever hesitate to give an honest opinion....especially to me. I appreciate what you have to say, and no offense would ever be taken.

Also, I'm not embarrassed about my diabetes, I just don't like to tell people my problems. I've always been that way. If a family member somehow found out, I guess I'd have to deal with it.
As I mentioned earlier, I don't tell people because I don't want them to worry about me. My mother had to watch her parents both die from diabetes. Everyone she has ever known and loved who had it has died from it. Why tell her I have it? It would serve no purpose except to scare her and make her worry. If she were to find out, she wouldn't be mad that I didn't tell her, she'd just go crazy with worry.

I may end up being forced to tell my older brother soon because he's talking about coming home for a visit. I'll worry about it when it happens.

That reminds me of when I used to go to the gym. I was in excellent shape back then....no fat, trim waist, muscular arms. When I wasn't able to go somewhere with friends because I told them I had to go to the gym, they'd respond with, "Why do you need to go to the gym? You're in great shape." Did they think I was born in great shape? Did they think I just sat around and watched TV to stay in shape? If I didn't go to the gym, I wouldn't have been in great shape.

You're dealing with a lot. I sympathize but also think a lot of it you are doing to yourself. You need support. You need someone to open up to. You keep all this inside you, it's a guy thing. To be strong. Well you are not strong when you are in the hospital getting something removed. Find several people and tell them parts of the story, friends, clergy, strangers even or the pros.
I did not tell my family right away as I'm a guy but when I started seeing things in my own family, I went on a quest. I became adamant in my resolve in dealing with my family. I tell t hem how they should be eating, I took over holidays from my mom and I do them all now, she resisted initially but now she is so glad that burden is of of her, although she is not like you mom who shows love through food. I do the diabetic friendly menu along with some not so friendly and for years, they all insist on coming to my dinners and I have a lot of sisters.
I am not italian but grew up in an italian neighborhood where food was king. And throwing it away was a sin.
Your brother coming to town is a windfall for you, your time to come out of the closet so to speak. Tell him the truth. tell him it will more likely affect him and you want to help him avoid your situation, he may come out too, seems like your family hides stuff like that. But ask him to be your ally when you tell your mom. She most likely will get upset, especially if you do it just before a family feast, do it at a time when there is no pressure. Maybe take her out to a restaurant that isn't the family favorite and order properly. Do NOT order her suggestions or extra because of her. Then tell her this is the way you eat and the only way you will eat.
She may need time to digest your new lifestyle, I assume it would be almost like telling her you were gay, or she might surprise you and be very understanding.
At some point you may want to start changing her idea about food, it may be hard, most likely impossible, but if you tell her that as a good mom, her changing will do more to help her with her children than feeding them, she may make this her new mission in life. What mother would not prefer a happy, healthy thin child than an unhappy, sick, fat one.
As for the food, think of tossing it as the less wasteful thing to do, all that insulin, all those needles you are saving from being used.
walk around your neighborhood, walk your dog or a friends dog, hire yourself out as a dog walker or offer to do it free for a neighbor, you'll soon find someone who could use the extra food and be glad to take it off of your hands and you'll have another friend which we are all have too ew of.

[slipperyelm]

I don't suppose you see signs of diabetes in your Mom. She has all that family history, now including family history she doesn't know about--her own young offspring. Like you, she has IBS. Your IBS is so much better when you get your blood glucose down. Well, maybe her IBS would improve the same way--if she is diabetic and can get the BG down, hmmm? Plus the older one gets, the more likely type 2 is to show up.

I think eventually you are going to want to ask your Mom to have a look at her own health.... Slowly let that thought into your mind....

[David_S]

I say no. NO thank you and I don't take and I don't eat it. I wear a medical ID.. to save my life if I am in an ER, ambulance.. so I won't be given a sugar laden IV. My wife and family know I am diabetic.. I have to test, inject.. pack carb friendly lunches.. they have to know. Initially.. yes there was worry, concern and questions.. now we have a handle on it and the SUPPORT I get is well worth the initial bummer having this disease was for me.
I can't imagine for a minute eating pie at my mums and not just saying.. I can't mom.. it isn't good for me. I lost a job too.. and again.. SUPPORT from my wife made a diff. for me. I can not imagine why anyone would bottle up and deal with any all of lifes issues alone. I think that would be so isolating.
You are not sparing anyone anything.. they care about you.. of course they may worry. But they can be the best support in you managing your health.. instead of your family presenting obstacles for you to figure out a way around without telling them honestly what is happening with you.
I can't imagine trying to figure this all out on my own. I wish you could talk to someone who really knows you instead of just computer support.. don't get me wrong.. this is supportive but so is having a sugar free option at a meal because they know I am coming and love me.

[David_S]

I say no. NO thank you and I don't take and I don't eat it. I wear a medical ID.. to save my life if I am in an ER, ambulance.. so I won't be given a sugar laden IV. My wife and family know I am diabetic.. I have to test, inject.. pack carb friendly lunches.. they have to know. Initially.. yes there was worry, concern and questions.. now we have a handle on it and the SUPPORT I get is well worth the initial bummer having this disease was for me.
I can't imagine for a minute eating pie at my mums and not just saying.. I can't mom.. it isn't good for me. I lost a job too.. and again.. SUPPORT from my wife made a diff. for me. I can not imagine why anyone would bottle up and deal with any all of lifes issues alone. I think that would be so isolating.
You are not sparing anyone anything.. they care about you.. of course they may worry. But they can be the best support in you managing your health.. instead of your family presenting obstacles for you to figure out a way around without telling them honestly what is happening with you.
I can't imagine trying to figure this all out on my own. I wish you could talk to someone who really knows you instead of just computer support.. don't get me wrong.. this is supportive but so is having a sugar free option at a meal because they know I am coming and love me.

[Chappo]

David, i really enjoyed reading your post and you're spot on

[Hammer]

Well my mom is a health nut. She always eats healthy...she's always seeing the doctor at the first sign of any health issues....she's been tested for just about everything under the sun....just to ease her mind.(they never find anything). Her IBS was a real problem for her for many years, then about a year ago, it just went away. She didn't do anything any different, she didn't change her diet or change any medications, it just went away.

These days when I visit her,(once or twice a month....she lives in a neighboring state, so it's a long drive), she'll make dinner for me, but she makes a different dinner for herself. What she eats is low-fat, health food. She is slender, never eats much, and always eats healthy. For everyone else, she makes "normal" food, even though I tell her to just make more of whatever she's having and I'll eat that.(sometimes she will do that.)

I guess noone else here can understand my feelings toward my diabetes. First, it's not a burden to me. If it weren't for the meds, I'd never think about it at all. I only think about it for the two minutes it takes to take the insulin and Byetta. Once the shot is over, it's no longer an issue with me.

To try and put it in perspective so others get a feel for how I view it, I'll try to relate it to something that most people can relate to. Let's see....okay, do any of you wear glasses? If your glasses are dirty and they need to be cleaned, if you went to bed and forgot to clean them, but once you were in bed you remembered, would you get out of bed to clean them? Would it bother you all night knowing that they were still dirty? I would guess that most people wouldn't think twice about the fact that they were dirty. Okay, that's how much concern I have for my diabetes. I have it...it's there....what's on TV?

That's how little I'm concerned about having it....and it isn't just because it's diabetes. If it were any disease, I'd feel the same way. As I said in another post, I don't get excited, I don't worry about anything. I use logic to survive and worrying isn't logical, so I don't do it.

I'm not trying to trivialize other people's diabetes, it's just that for me, my diabetes is a non-issue....as is my high blood pressure.....my bad back....my arthritic elbows...my sleep apnea. I have these things....I can't change that, so worrying about them isn't going to be productive so I don't bother worrying.

As for being alone....I've been alone all my life. Even when I was married I felt alone. I was married for 15 years and my wife never really knew me. She never knew what I was thinking or how I really felt about anything. Like Volleyball said, it's partly a man thing. Men just don't tell people what's going on inside of them because that's not how we are. I deal with whatever life throws at me, and I don't involve other people. Whatever problem arises, I just look at it logically, arrive at a solution, and implement the solution. I don't worry about it, I don't get excited about it, I just do it and it's over.

I'm so private about my health that I'll never wear an ID bracelet that indicates that I'm diabetic. If I'd ever have to be rushed to the hospital unconscious, I'd rather die than have them know I'm diabetic.(if I'm unconscious, then obviously I'm in pretty bad shape anyway, so it's probably a moot point.)

Oh, about the cake....I went to throw it out....hated to throw out good food, so I ate the whole thing. It's been a long time since I've eaten that much sugar, so I checked my BG to see what that much sugar would do. My numbers shot up to 270 stayed there for about an hour, then it dropped to 119 and slowly decreased after that. I'll never do that again, but it was interesting to see the effect it had. Next time I'll just refuse the cake.

[Alice]

I simply say "no thank you". And then say no more.

I don't do this because I certain foods are "no no's"...I just don't see why I need to accept food someone is trying to push my way. Diabetes has nothing to do with the food pushers.

[Staceyy]

You could always take the free food into work and leave it in the kitchen for whoever wants it.

Stacey
The Diabetic Pastry Chef