[Hammer]

Hmmm....well, I'm sure everyone here has faced this before, so I wondered how you handled it. If you're at someone's house or if you're in a restaurant, what do you do when free food is forced on you by unwitting friends, family, whomever. Especially if the food is a big no-no like sweets?

I realize that most people could just say, no I can't have that because of my diabetes, but in my case, no one knows I have diabetes and I want to keep it that way.

Usually I'll just eat it or take it home with me, but I hate to waste food, so if I don't eat it, I'd have to just throw it away.

This happened to me again last night and I thought I'd bring it up here. I went to a KFC for some fried chicken. It's been a long time since I've gone to a KFC, and I wanted to see what eating fried chicken would do to my numbers. I ordered the original and took the breaded skin off, because I wanted to see my numbers with just the chicken.

When I got there, it was 30 minutes before closing and they told me they had no original chicken ready to serve. It would take 20 minutes to make so did I want to wait. Well, yes I would wait, because the whole idea was to see what the original chicken would do to my BG, so it didn't make sense to get anything else.

Well, 20+ minutes later, they brought me out my chicken, but because I had to wait so long, they gave me a free cake. This cake is a chocolate devils food cake with white icing and it serves six. The manager apologized for the wait, handed me the bag with the chicken and the cake in it, and went back inside. I didn't have a chance to say anything, so I just left and went home. Now I have this cake in my refrigerator.

I figure I'll just toss it in the trash and that will be the end of it. It bothers me to have to throw out food though, so I thought I'd ask what others do in situations like this. There isn't anyone I can give it to, since I don't really know my neighbors.

I've had other experiences with friends or family when they want me to stay for dinner, and they have something like spaghetti and meatballs, or pizza....something that a diabetic should stay away from. They know I can eat a lot so if I just eat a little, they'll think I don't like their food, although lately I've been eating less and they know I've cut back a good bit. Do you just eat it and worry about the numbers later?.....maybe exercise when you get home?

[derf]

Considering that fast food cake probably has no food value whatsoever, I wouldn't feel bad about tossing it.

[princesslinda]

Hammer, if you don't want to tell them you have diabetes, tell them you're on a diet...or just trying to be healthier.

If you're out to eat with someone, just order something healthy and diabetic friendly. Almost every place has chicken, grilled veggies and salad...or get a baked potato and eat 1/2....or a sweet potatoe....if they are crude enough to comment, just repeat "i'm trying to eat healthier." Everyone is aware of the low-carb craze...claim you're into that now.

If you're around spaghetti, eat the salad and just a little spaghetti..or salad and one slice of pizza or the top of the pizza...again, use the low-carb claim. After you've done this a time or two, they'll get use to it and stop commenting.

As for the KFC situation, if you don't want the cake to be thrown out, take it to work with you...if its like my office, it will be gone quickly.

[slipperyelm]

That is kind of tough for me. First it seems so wrong to throw away food and there is no one else around to give it to. Second, I am almost powerless over food. The only way for me to stay on track with my eating is not to have the stuff around that would be so wrong for my BG.

But I do have one thing I can do with food that makes me feel better. I can put it in my compost pile. Then it can feed the microbes, feed the earth, make my tomatoes, pumpkins, cabbage, cucumbers, peppers, beans and celery grow. So I do not have to feel that it has been completely wasted.

Some people have pets that they can feed certain excess food to.

[Keezheekoni]

Everyone knows that I'm diabetic. I don't have any problems with telling anyone that I have diabetes.

I guess if I didn't want the freebie, then I'd give it to my kids. If they didn't want it, and if I worked, then I'd bring it to work with me. When I did work outside the home, I knew that the vultures at work would do away with it quickly enough.

[Hammer]

Derf, you're probably right about the fast food cake, although these cakes are apparently baked by Pillsbury and sold to KFC.

Linda, I've used that line about being on a diet before, the thing is, my family is Italian....they don't believe in diets. They usually have the comeback line, "One time isn't going to hurt your diet, and besides, I made this especially for you."

My mom is famous for doing that. When I was dating my girlfriend (who later became my wife), we would eat dinner at my mom's house twice a week at my mother's insistence. My wife gained 10 pounds and said that she wasn't going to eat there anymore, because my mom would "guilt" you into eating more.

If dinner would consist of my mom, stepfather, sister, myself and my girlfriend, my mom would make enough food for 20 people, and she made sure that she made a favorite food for everyone there. She'd have at least one, sometimes two different meats, three different vegetables, mashed potatoes, a large tossed salad, fresh baked rolls, and at least two different desserts.

For example, after you ate and were stuffed, she'd offer you some homemade apple pie. If you told her you were stuffed and couldn't eat another bite, she'd guilt you into having some by saying, "But it's your favorite....I made it especially for you, and it's hot. You need to eat it while it's still warm." You'd give in and say, "Okay fine, but just give me a little piece and I'll try to eat it slowly."

She'd go into the kitchen and say, "I'm going to put some vanilla ice cream on it, because I know you like it with vanilla ice cream and I got your favorite brand of vanilla." There was no use in arguing with her, because she'd win anyway.

She'd bring you the pie and it would be 1/4 of the pie with a quart of ice cream on it. It was so much that she had to put in in a bowl to keep it all together. You'd sit there at the table for a long time slowly eating it.

At least now that I'm older, I can use my "I just can't eat that much anymore" line, but that still doesn't stop her (or my sister) from making really good, but really high carbohydrate foods for dinner.

As for the cake....I'll just throw it out. I'm not working now, so there's noplace to take it to, although you're right, if you take food to work, it will rapidly vanish.

I know you're thinking that I should just tell them I'm diabetic, but that's not an ooption for me. I'm a very private person when it comes to my health, and I never tell anyone about any personal problems I might have. I figure they'll worry about me and that's not something I want. Back when I was married and doing construction work, I'd get laid off when the construction job finished up.(usually on a Friday). I'd never tell my wife that I got laid off....there was no point in ruining her weekend. I'd just go down to the union hall on Monday and see if there was another job I could go to. If there was, I'd just go. My wife would never know and would never have to worry.

Heck, I remember many years ago when my stepfather was told he had diabetes. When my mother found out, she started crying and got all stressed out about it. She was constantly worrying about him and fussed over his meals and what he should be doing healthwise for it. I won't let that happen with me. She has enough to worry about without worrying about me. The same goes for my other family members. I don't want anyone worrying about me...that's my job.

[Holly]

My neighbours know our diabetic status and are always willing to take anything from me to support our lifestyle change.

[princesslinda]

I do know where you're coming from as far as family gatherings...I'm from the south...everything we eat is deep fried and has mashed potatoes and cornbread on the side...and let's not forget good old southern sweet tea!

My family knows I have diabetes and I still get the " having one dessert isn't going to kill you." Seems there's no easy answers when it comes to dealing with family.

I can appreciate your not wanting to worry them, but you can't let them unknowingly sabotage your health either....or they'll certainly reason to worry when that happens.

I guess on family dinner days you'll have to plan for your meals, exercising a lot before hand and eating very low carb the rest of that day....then check and see what your blood sugars are after the meal so you will know where you stand. One thing I always try to do is check my blood sugar anytime I "over-do." Otherwise, its too easy for me to be in denial about what different foods may do to my blood sugar.

[MaireC]

It depends on the situation and how close I am to certain people.

For instance, if they were giving out cake in work and it wasn't a special occasion, I'll wrap it in a napkin and go straight to my friends house after work. She could exist on chocolate and have perfect blood sugars (we tested her every fifteen minutes for four hours once just to check her out as she has a very sweet tooth). If it's a birthday cake then I'll take it and eat one or two forkfull's. Then I'll bring the rest back to my desk and hide it in a napkin and from there it goes straight into the bin. Unless I've been good all week, in which case it gets stuffed straight into my mouth with minimal guilt.

If it's free food in a buffet, I just won't go near it, or I will put a few pieces on a plate and might just take one bite to make it look like I'm eating it. Just purely to fit in. If anyone who doesn't know me asks me if I want any more I'd just say that I'm on my second plate and I'm fine. People that know me just smile as they know my secret.

Sometimes, though, it's easier just to say that I don't eat cake. Or biscuits. Or I've just had lunch / a big bar of chocolate. Or I don't like --insert food here--. Or it doesn't agree with me.

If they are any way sane they will leave it at that. Though there is one girl in work that continued to press food on me and look at me strangely when I would say no thank you, or leave half the food behind. All because she has another diabetic friend who eats whatever he wants when he wants. She knows I'm not on much medication for it and am trying to regulate it mostly by diet and kept saying 'You can't live like that all the time / One slice of cake won't kill you!'
I think she's just one of those people who don't get that it won't kill you now. It will kill you later. I lectured her once on why I am the way I am, including the 'I don't want to lose -insert limb here-' talk and the 'my uncle was a diabetic for most of his life and he died aged 60 from various diabeties related ailments and my other uncle is now legally blind and can't feel anything in his fingertips' talk. I think she finally got the message, especially when the other two diabetics in work gave me a round of applause. She now no longer bugs me.

But back on topic, like I said it all depends on what's going on and who I am with. If it is a situation like you described, I'd just take the cake and dump it the minute I got outside. It wouldn't even make it inside the house.

[Hammer]

It's hard when you're a physically big person and you've always eaten large quantities of food with no problem. My brother, who is 1½ years older than me and 1 inch taller has always been able to out eat me. As teenagers my mom would take us to Burger King once in a while, and he'd get three Whoppers, two large orders of french fries, and two large milkshakes to start. I could only handle two Whoppers and two large french fries and one large milkshake. He'd always get at least another large order of french fries and another large milkshake to go.

As I've aged, my appetite has changed. Now I can go to Burger King and just get a garden salad and that's enough for me. Of course, I can still eat those two Whoppers and fries, but I find that I don't need to stuff myself to avoid the hunger pangs, so I eat a lot more sensibly now.

It just occurred to me that when people force food on me, I could always refuse it with the excuse, "It'll bother my IBS and I don't want to aggravate that." They all know how bad IBS can be, so that would probably stop them from forcing any more food on me.

[shutterbug]

I'd usually toss it in the trash. Because, if I give myself a minute to think, my instincts would make me eat at least 1 serving if not more. But, once you throw it in the trash, you wouldn't pick it up again!

[mortis505]

Hammer, please don't take offense at this but I'm not sure which is worse. Saying that it would irritate your IBS or simply stating that you have D. I can understand the need for privacy in some situations, but IMHO stating that It will elevate your BS levels is probably less embarrassing than discussing IBS.

Or more to the point as Nancy Reagan used to say, "Just say NO!" as in no thanks. Or "Sorry, I just cant have that." No explanation should be required.

Family is, of course, an entirely different situation. (Italian families doubly so[my previous step mother is Italian])The above ideas concerning exercise are good. But I would like to add that drinking water may help as well. It's filling and depending on your geographic location, will keep you hydrated during those annoyingly hot days.

My only concern at this point would be that (please forbid) something happens and your mother find out another way that you have D. I've seen an Italian mother when cross. I would not want to be the target of that one.

As with anything I say. No offense is meant. These are just my ramblings. Ignore them if you prefer.

[bryan42]

Sounds like a good chance to meet your neighbors They maybe great people, and SOMEONE has to break the ice

[judi t]

Originally Posted by Hammer

Heck, I remember many years ago when my stepfather was told he had diabetes. When my mother found out, she started crying and got all stressed out about it. She was constantly worrying about him and fussed over his meals and what he should be doing healthwise for it. I won't let that happen with me. She has enough to worry about without worrying about me. The same goes for my other family members. I don't want anyone worrying about me...that's my job.

So you're prepared to martyr yourself so you don't cause any upset for your mother? She's an adult; yes, perhaps a particularly sensitive, loving and emotional parent, but she can only develop as a person and understand things if you allow her the opportunity. My own mother - and I know they're all different - would be devastated if I didn't share such important information about myself with her.

It's good that you're so caring but imagine how upset she'd be if you continued being 'guilted' into eating inappropriately and consequently developed a complication from the diabetes that you didn't tell her about.

Anyway, good luck with it. Why not **** the torpedoes and just come clean with everyone about having diabetes. Yes, you'll get annoyed and patronised and have to put up with all sorts of stupid remarks from the ignorant, but at least you can knock back the occasional cake for six.

[xMenace]

I had some free sandies at an event Wednesday evening. I was hungry so I had four halves. The meat was alright, but the bread was simply brutal. It was the first store-bought bread I've had since November except for a hambaurger bun in April. God awful stuff this bread. Once you do homemade, you can't do that stuff again, free or not. Next time it get's passed over. Thanks for making me type that!