[orpy]

Recently I attended a conference with a colleague of mine. I know that she is a diabetic and also has had major heart issues (has had angioplasty). I do not know her well...however I have witnessed her several times eating tons of sweets, pasta, etc. She knows that I am diabetic as well. I've seen her eat large pieces of cake, a plate of pasta, and a sweet drink just before the pasta. I am aghast at how she eats; she will even say stuff like, "I forgot my tester." Because I don't truly know her that well, I just totally mind my own business. However, I end up looking like I'm some kind of anal fool. We went out to dinner with folks who know we are both diabetic. It was really weird how I totally watched my intake of food (even excused myself to inject) while this other person completely ignored her diabetes. I feel like suggesting that she join this forum but I will continue to mind my own business.

I'm just interested in whether folks here have similar stories of knowing diabetics who completely ignore it and what drives people to ignore their diabetes. To me it would be like ignoring warning signs of cancer. I guess what gets me is how, instead of people questioning those who eat like a regular person, people will tend to question MY diet instead (as if I'm being overly obsessive and cautious)...

Just emoting here.

[notme]

We can only take responsibility for ourselves and we have to try not to police what other people are doing. I know it is hard sometimes not to watch what others are eating when you feel you are having to deprive yourself to stay healthy.

I think we all place WAY too much value on food. It is the natural thing to do when we are put in a position of having to deny ourselves daily. Your friend will sadly pay the price some day.

I hope you do invite her to the forums. She may just come in, read and realize that she has been neglecting her health. Your invitation might help save her life. I have invited many people to check out the forums and it was not because they were doing things wrong in my eyes, but because it is a great place to learn and give support.

[poodlebone]

My sister's father-in-law has had Type 2 for maybe 8-9 years now. Could be longer, but I think that's about how it's been since he became aware of it. He did well at first and lost a lot of weight but then gave up. At holidays, if we're all at my sister's house, I'll see him eat cheese & crackers, then huge amounts of bread, then pasta, potatoes, cake and tons of other stuff. He then gets annoyed if it looks like the diet soda is running out because "he can't drink the regular kind".

I've heard my sister tell him countless times that it's not sugar he has to avoid/watch but carbs in general. He doesn't listen. I saw him eat about 1/2 loaf of a big, crusty loaf of bread from a bakery. His son (not my sister's husband, his brother) said it was okay because it was "diet" bvread - made without butter or sugar. My sister & I just didn't know what to say. The whole family has no clue. My sister's husband & his brother are both obese and pretty sedentary. The brother recently retired early and now has nothing to do but sit home all day and eat (he lives with his parents still, never married) and every time I see him he's gained more weight. I don't think my brother-in-law has been to a doctor in years. The whole family just ignores everything, takes OTC medication to try to fix things on their own, until it's too late.

My sister's father-in-law ended up in the hospital last year; his BG was sky high. He was put on Lantus, which he won't inject himself. Someone else has to do it. He won't test his BG unless forced. He has bad neuropathy and can barely walk. He's always cold and will sneak into my sister's bedroom to turn the thermostat way up when it's 70 degrees outside.

I wish your co-worker could meet him and maybe see her near future.

[princesslinda]

I work with 6 other diabetes, 5 T2, 1 T1. I'm constantly amazed at how many of the T2s drink "regular" cokes, and pretty much eat anything they want. Once someone asked why didn't I "lighten up" and be more like "Sue." Even some of the other T2s have said "you know it won't hurt you to have the occ. Coke/bread/dessert."

I think a lot of it is because they have never seen any diabetic complications, so their disease isn't "real" to them. They just take a pill(s) and otherwise live a "normal" life.

When you've watched someone go blind from retinopathy, lose a toe, then a leg, then have renal failure because they wouldn't take control of diabetes, it does change your perspective.

I try NEVER to comment on what anyone eats however, and do wish others would afford me the same courtesy. In the end, we are responsible for our choices.....and we then pay the consequences for them, good or bad.

[ShottleBop]

Maybe it would help if everyone newly diagnosed were made to watch a film about the complications of diabetics, done in the style of those driver's education movies we were shown in high school. Perhaps the ADA could sponsor some PDAs showing the complications, the way antismoking ads show people in the late stages of lung cancer/emphysema.

[princesslinda]

Originally Posted by ShottleBop

Maybe it would help if everyone newly diagnosed were made to watch a film about the complications of diabetics, done in the style of those driver's education movies we were shown in high school. Perhaps the ADA could sponsor some PDAs showing the complications, the way antismoking ads show people in the late stages of lung cancer/emphysema.

While I don't agree with the idea of using fear to motivate others, it has helped me stay on track. I also think that most of us look at different situations and think "oh this won't ever happen to me." Otherwise, we'd be afraid of everything.

I'd be afraid that if every newly diagnosed diabetic were show bad complications, they might just throw in the towel and not even try, fearing its all hopeless.

I'm not sure what the solution would be....some people just aren't going to do what needs to be done. We see this all the time at work...patient's with lung problems who won't quit smoking...patient's with BP problems who won't give up salt, some people just refuse to do what's best for them.

[Mich]

Denial is not a river in Africa.

It's amazing how people never think bad things will happen to them. Partly I blame the media and the groups who feed them information. Somehow the population at large has the idea that Type 2 is not as "serious" as any of the other types because it can be handled by taking oral medications.

People are clueless as to the real nature of ALL diabetes. They are unaware that Type 2 can and will progress to something like type 1. (Not meaning to oversimplify here--I know there are many in-betweens.)

Since diabetes is becoming more prevalent and showing up in younger people,we need an education campaign that is like the one started years ago for heart disease.

And we need to keep spreading the word. Keeping this board top-notch is one positive move we all can make. Orpy, do give this website to your acquaintance. Perhaps she will visit and it may help to change her understanding.

Mich

[orpy]

I guess I'm not interested in "policing" people but more in the psychological aspects of ignoring a very serious disease (especially if one has had heart surgery; I must admit to wishing I knew what her A1C is). What I can't fathom is how doctors continue to act so complacent about diabetes which translates down to the patient that there is no immediate worry or consequence. I must admit to feeling really fortunate to have found this forum but also there was something inside of me that made me seek out knowledge instead of denying my condition. (I'm not trying to be holier-than-though but probably I come across like that).

[notme]

Originally Posted by orpy

(I'm not trying to be holier-than-though but probably I come across like that).

Actually, you don't. You come across as a person who has taken control of diabetes. You should be proud of yourself.

I was pretty non compliant for years. Some of it was me and some of it was frustration from being given bad advice in the 80's.

Invite your acquaintance to the boards. It can be done in a friendly manner that would not appear to be "preaching". This site has helped me so much to understand diabetes and take control of my life. I love sharing it with others in hopes they will do the same thing.

[Signmom99]

I work with someone who has T2 and is completely uncontrolled. He watches me and how strict I try to be with my diet and sees what my numbers look like cause my log sits right on my desk. His philosophy is "I'll just enjoy eating and life and one day I'll be dead". His doc wants him injecting insulin, but he's fighting it tooth & nail. Currently all he does is take is metformin and actos. His numbers are in the 200's, sometimes higher. He's proud when he wakes up at 180! I'm upset if I wake up at 100 or over. I work hard for those low numbers and does everyone else here. None of us are perfect but a little effort goes a long ways.

[xMenace]

Originally Posted by orpy

To me it would be like ignoring warning signs of cancer.

To me it's like drivng 1970 Ford pickup with bald tires at 70 mph on the interstate down a mountain at night with no lights in a blizzard.

I see it and hear about it all the time. I'm runnng a local suport group and some of the ladies live in this retirement building of about 150. About half are diabetic, but these three so far are the only ones thinking of looking after themselves. Their stories sound like a death lottery: " They called Joe's number today. The ambulance came and got him. We heard he lost his left leg. We think it's Betty's turn next. She's always sucking on Pepsis." Even the good ones have little understanding of how to live best with it.

[xMenace]

Originally Posted by Signmom99

I work with someone who has T2 and is completely uncontrolled. He watches me and how strict I try to be with my diet and sees what my numbers look like cause my log sits right on my desk. His philosophy is "I'll just enjoy eating and life and one day I'll be dead". His doc wants him injecting insulin, but he's fighting it tooth & nail. Currently all he does is take is metformin and actos. His numbers are in the 200's, sometimes higher. He's proud when he wakes up at 180! I'm upset if I wake up at 100 or over. I work hard for those low numbers and does everyone else here. None of us are perfect but a little effort goes a long ways.

The crazy part is that the more you work at it, the better you feel physically, mentally, and spiritually.

[DeusXM]

In some ways it's sort of a side-effect of coming here. My A1C is not the best by any means, but I've lost track of the amount of times I've been told it's better than most of people who go to the same clinic. Maybe it's something the doctors say to make me feel better, maybe not. But I think we'd all agree that us on the forum probably take having diabetes a lot more seriously than most other people with diabetes, and that'll be reflected in the difference we see when we meet them. It must be particularly jarring for T2s because diet plays such a greater role in treatment than it does in T1.

[LarryTango]

Originally Posted by poodlebone

that it's not sugar he has to avoid/watch but carbs in general.

I was diagnosed September 2007 and its fair to be said i have been told incorrect infomation many times by various doctors all doctors have told me its the sugar to watch not the carbs ... is this another thing i am doing wrong lol.

My last A1C (and to be fair the only one i have had since diagnosis) was 5.2 so surely i cant be doing it completly wrong?

If at all possible could someone give me a link or somthing to what type of foods im not supposed to eat , because i was under the impression that everyone (including diabetics) should have a ballanced diet which includes starchy foods such as bread and potatoes (both of which i have on a daily basis).

i really am perplexed about the watch the carbs not the sugar statement, the way i work it (which i guess as it turns out is wrong) is look on the package and it says somthing like

carbohydrates per 100g = 27
of which sugars = 1.2

if there was no 'of which sugars' on the label i assume that most of the cabs turn to sugar and thus mentally note that as 27g of sugar (To simplify) , not that i have eating anything with 27g per 100g (and thus hate my sad excuse for a life .. i so miss sugar lol)

please dont all scream at me

[MJB]

I work with a T2 that pretty much ignores the ramifications of what he puts in his pie hole.

He's only 44 and quite obese. He's told me he doesn't think he could ever inject insulin.

I think he's got tough times ahead.