[Girlrilla]

I've had type 2 for 3 years now and make no attempts to control it. I never test and I eat what I want, including sugar every day. My a1c has pretty much been around 7. I weight 246 and I am 52. I don't know why I do not deal with this. It seems like it's too hard. I'm worried that I am really harming myself but I can't get going. Any help/thoughts would be appreciated.

[Penny]

Originally Posted by Girlrilla

I've had type 2 for 3 years now and make no attempts to control it. I never test and I eat what I want, including sugar every day. My a1c has pretty much been around 7. I weight 246 and I am 52. I don't know why I do not deal with this. It seems like it's too hard. I'm worried that I am really harming myself but I can't get going. Any help/thoughts would be appreciated.

I was about your age when I decided I better do something...it was just after I had my first heart attack. That was all the motivation I needed. I was lucky to survive that one, and I was told it might never have happened if I was taking care of the Diabetes. I don't like to scare someone into taking care of things, but I hate the thought of someone going through what I did. If I can help in any way, let me know.

[Scrabblechick]

You sound just like my sister. I worry about her. Getting a handle on this thing now can help forestall or prevent complications down the road.

It isn't easy. It is hard work. However, when you start seeing results and feeling better, you'll know you're doing the right thing.

Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing. We care!

[Evermont]

Hi there, welcome to DF!

You say that it seems too hard, but you also said that you haven't even tried. You're right of course. It is hard. I think the consequences of not controlling diabetes maybe much harder.

Well, you can pat yourself on the back now, posting here on DF is a great first step. Stay with us and keep posting.

Here's my tip for you on getting started. Set a goal. Make it a reasonable goal. Something measurable and achievable.

[princesslinda]

Welcome Girilla! Obviously, you recognize you have a problem, or you wouldn't be here. I have to say that there are many T2s out there just like yourself...though you won't find many here on the forum.

The thing about T2 diabetes is that you can basically do what you're doing and ignore it and do fine...for awhile, but rest assured, it will catch up with you.

My mom had T2 diabetes found at age 28 after the birth of my sister. She pretty much lived her life as if she were a non-diabetic. She ate what she wanted, had candy bars, bread, sweet tea, continued to be overweight. She said she'd rather have "quality of life over quantity," but in fact, she got neither. When she was 46, someone at work stepped on her toe and the nail became infected and didn't heal. She had to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics, but her circulation was compromised and she lost her toes, then her foot, and finally her leg to above the knee. She was fitted with a prosthesis, but never got used to it, spending most of her time in a wheelchair. At 48 she had a heart attack. By 50, she was legally blind from diabetic retinopathy, and at age 54, she died from renal failure, leaving behind a husband, 2 daughters and 2 lovely grandchildren.

I was diagnosed T2 at age 42. I knew I had to make sure I didn't follow in her footsteps.

Yes, its hard to constantly think about what you can eat, test your blood sugar several times a day, keep up with doctor's appointments.....but it's also hard to lose your leg, hard to give up driving because you can't see, and i'm sure it must be hard to leave those you love.

You have a choice. You deserve a long and happy life, and you can have this, just by making a few lifestyle changes. Living in denial is not going to keep the effects of diabetes away. You have it...its here to stay but you can work hard and minimize your risks of complications. Sure it's a struggle sometimes, what illness isn't?

I'm sorry if this sounds overly harsh..i'm not trying to be mean, but i've seen how your story can end..and it doesn't have to be that way.

You'll feel better than you ever thought you would once you get things under control. High blood sugar can negatively effect just about every system in your body. You can learn to adjust your diet, you can even get in the habit of exercise. I've lost around 80 lbs since diagnosis (still have a ways to go), and many here have lost even more. Take the support you can find here and change your life for the better, one day at a time.

[harryjacobs]

It is unfortunate that we can’t eat what we want, when we want and how much. First off, to take control you have to make a choice. Life is about choices, we have free will, and this is nature of being a person. Some people would argue that it is the ultimate gift G-d has bestowed upon us.

Be that as it may, you are at a cross roads, you know there is something wrong; you know that it can cause horrible sided effects and amputations. Not to mention Stroke and heart attacks, yet like many other persist in resisting change. Change is not easy; it can be overwhelming and can be **** scary.

At this cross roads, you have two roads. The first road leads to a healthy lifestyle filled with Great healthy foods some moderate exercise and a reduced risk of all the nasty potential harmful things that can happen, this road is slightly uphill and the route twists and turns and we don’t know for sure what is at the top of the hill or around the next bend forcing you to go a bit slower, but it scenic and sunny and the road conditions are great.

The second road is straight, it goes downhill, you can go flat out, but the scenery is a blur because we are forced to travel this road faster. There are dangerous potholes that only get worse as we travel faster and faster due to momentum as we build speed. There is a risk that while the road is straight we will hit a patch of black ice and spin out of control. Until you final hit the final pot hole in which you can’t recover from.

You know the risk of travelling the second road, we know its nicer to travel the first road, but yet we choose to travel the second road. Every day you come to that fork on the road and every day the second road is the one picked.

Tomorrow get up, decide I am going to drive the nice road. Make the choices that allow you to slow down and live just a little bit longer. Focus on today, where you can. What am I going to do today? Do not worry about tomorrow. Diabetes is a selfish disease it’s all about you.

Your friends, family and medical care folks can care all they want, but you have to take control. You have to wake up, look in the mirror and say. Today I choose to like myself and I am going to choose to eat right, test myself and take my meds. When I am unsure, I will share my fears with my Friends, Family and medical care folks. I will not put myself in toxic situations that can be people or places.

I read this board fairly often I read about folks like myself who control themselves through Diet, Exercise and/or meds as needed. But ultimately it’s the YOU FACTOR that makes the difference. Do it for you!

[xMenace]

Pick one of diet or exercise to improve on. Make the choice easy by flipping a coin. If heads, start eating better now. If Tails, go for a walk now. Then start the other one tomorrow

Seriously, watch this video CBC News - The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos Start a new positive relationship with food.

Come here daily. It's the best forumal for success out there!

[enigmalady777]

So far there have been great posts in response to the OP.

I have been a type 2 diabetic for some 15 years now. I went through a period of "not caring" also.

I ate whatever I wanted. When I wanted. Didn't test.

You know what happened?

My toes went numb on my left foot.

"Okay. I can deal with the numbness" I told myself.

Then the toes on my right foot went numb.

"So what" I told myself. "Who wants to live forever anyway?" I reasoned.

Then the pain came. In both feet. All the time. Especially at night. I couldn't sleep because of the pain. Then the fatigue hit during the day. And the depression.

My doctor nagged me. My family nagged me. My latest A1C shot up to over 8.1 (average blood sugar of 200). I wanted to just curl up and DIE. Why bother at all, I reasoned. I'm too busy, too this, too that.

Then suddenly, something in me SNAPPED. I came out of the "coma of not caring" and decided that I had the ability to change all of this.

What made me change? I couldn't tell you.

Maybe it was looking at my darling baby granddaughter and realizing that I wouldn't be around to see her grow up if I continued to be careless.

Maybe it was the realization that I wouldn't be well enough to travel, something I enjoy immensely.

Maybe it was my doctor's phone call telling me I was "maxed out" on my oral meds and I needed to go on insulin.

Maybe it was my mother, who died from complications from diabetes at only age 60, sending me a message of the other side.

Whatever it was, I am thankful for it. "WAKE UP WOMAN!!!" was the message I heard and I heard it loud and clear!

I started reading everything I could get my hands on that was available on the internet about diabetes, insulin therapy and low carb diets. I Joined this board and a couple others.

I started taking insulin along with a low carb lifestyle. I went back to diligently taking my BG levels 6-8 times a day. I saw trends, I tested, I adjusted my diet. I even went back to my doctor after a month of using just a long acting insulin and asked to have a mealtime insulin added to my therapy to gain better control. I learned how to manage this beast.

Yes it was difficult. Yes it was a pain in the rear. Yes it requires LOTS OF WORK. Is it worth it???

YOU BET!!

And guess what? The pain has gone away. No more sleepless nights due to burning feet and shooting pains. No more lethargy during the day from too high blood sugars.

My biggest fear was that I had let this monster get so out of hand that I had damage to my vision. I had avoided having a retinal scan each time the doctor suggested it. I just DID NOT WANT TO KNOW if there was damage. I was in true denial.

I finally got the courage to have the scan done this time.

I have no diabetic retinopathy (loss of vision) as of my last retinal screening a few weeks ago. I dodged a bullet. My late mother was not so lucky.

People can nag you. Your doctors can chide you. But until YOU decide to take care of yourself, nothing is going to help you.

Do not wait until complications set in. They WILL set in. Maybe not today, not tomorrow or next week. But rest assured, this disease is a monster. It is progressive. It will damage your organs and like humpty dumpty, some of that damage is very difficult to "put back together".

Don't wait.

[buddy7]

Hi Girlrilla! Hello, good evening and welcome to the forum, I'm so pleased you've join us, you have chosen a great site, warm and friendly people here.

I can understand the denial, also being unmotivated to keep up your diabetes self-management, I can only suggest you must come to terms with this condition, be positive and realistic, above all you're not alone, there's so much you can learn from just logging on to this site.

I can only endorse all Princesslinda said, my echoed thoughts! an addition to this, ignoring this increasingly common condition can have dangerous consequences, and other serious complications.

Take heed, my fellow poster, the information and support offered in these posts is to help you manage your diabetes, and live a more balance and healthy life.

[Scrabblechick]

Gosh, what GREAT posts! Very, very good stuff here.

Please allow me to add a dollar or so to my above 2 cents.

My dad died at 61 from diabetes-related renal failure, essentially. He also had gastroparesis, which is nerve damage in the digestive system. His stomach did not empty properly. He couldn't have a bowel movement without pharmaceutical or mechanical assistance. When he got relief, he would often get diarrhea and have to take immodium. This was a constant cycle the last 18 months or so of his life. In the end, it really killed him.

He had a heart attack a year before he died. No surgery required, and we thought we were out of the woods--until he had an allergic reaction to the dye used in the heart catheterization and it caused irreperable damage to his kidneys. They were already in trouble, but this completed the job. He had to go on dialysis. He was on home dialysis for a while, but had to go on the machine because the home version wasn't doing what it needed to do. He was in and out of the hospital the last nine months he lived, for various problems.

He also had a heart arrythmia. This was corrected with cardio-conversion and he was moved to ICU overnight, because that's how they handle this. While in ICU, he suffered projectile vomiting and aspirated part of it, causing chemical and then bacterial pneumonia. When he aspirated the first time, his heart stopped, but they got it restarted and put him on a ventilator, and in restraints to keep him from pulling the tube out. That was Friday night. He died the following Sunday morning when his heart just finally gave out. That was in 1995.

Daddy had been T2 diabetic since 1966. He wasn't obese, was physically active (a basketball coach), but pretty much refused to watch what he ate. Granted, the first home BG meters were not available and affordable until about 1992, but if he had taken better care of himself as far as just diet goes, he might still be living, or at least would have felt better. But he would not do it. He did indeed get by with it for the better part of 20 years. But then the diabetic retinopathy set in, then the circulatory problems. It's the same old story, and nothing we could say, nothing my mother or his doctors could say, would convince him he needed to do better.

For some reason, one of the nurses made a picture of him at the dialysis clinic. If you compared it with a school picture made just 10 years earlier, you would wonder if it was the same person. In the '85 photo, he had a sort of sneaky half-smile (didn't like having his pic made), he was a healthy weight, with salt and pepper hair and a glint of humor in his eyes. In the '95 photo? He was skin and bones, his skin color was awful, he had the most pathetic look of defeat in his eyes. I choke up just thinking about it.

That's the photo that keeps me in the fight, though. That's why I do this every day. I don't want to end up like that, true, but more, I want to honor what he suffered by being healthy and being a credit to him, as well as to myself. My Daddy was a wonderful, wise, and Godly man. He was a beloved teacher and coach. I am profoundly thankful to be his daughter.

At the same time, I shake my head because it didn't have to end like it did. It doesn't have to end like that for you, or for anyone else, either.

Please, for everyone you love, for everyone who loves you, and for yourself, change the ending of this story.

And we still care about what happens to you.

[soso]

you already did get going.. you made that post.. you know what to do,, you want to do it, you are asking for help... you are on the road to recovery.. you've taken the first step, now take a lot more steps and repeat every day.. success breeds success, give yourself a chance to succeed. Every meal where I don't over eat or eat well, I say 'another one under my belt' it is that easy most of the time... be present when you choose what to eat, enjoy it as you eat it ..you are worth it.

[barko]

Yep - I think we all go through a period of not caring. Its natural because this disease takes alot of focus and hard work. There are no short-cuts for that.

But what finally motivates each of us to get off our tail and make a change may be different. For me it was an A1c of over 11 and A-fib sessions that made me feel like I was going to die all the time. That just helped me face the real reasons for change...

My family and all the people who love me. I want to be around to spend time with them. Life is a gift and we are all gifts, given to those we love.

So... its ok to be honest - its more than ok, its allowed ;-)
And..its ok to be tired too.

Its not ok to throw away the precious gift of you ;-)

You made a first step - all journeys start that way and we are all on the same journey here. Welcome

[ErikaA]

Originally Posted by Girlrilla

I've had type 2 for 3 years now and make no attempts to control it. I never test and I eat what I want, including sugar every day. My a1c has pretty much been around 7. I weight 246 and I am 52. I don't know why I do not deal with this. It seems like it's too hard. I'm worried that I am really harming myself but I can't get going. Any help/thoughts would be appreciated.

Well anyone who says it's easy is both right and totally wrong.

It really is just a matter of making the decision. But if it was so simple everyone would do it.

Maybe set little goals and work your way up?

Like:

- if you add sugar to anything, halve the amount or
- 5 minutes on an exercise bike every day or
- give up bread or pasta or potatoes

And when you achieve that goal, set a new one. You'll gain more motivation with each little success and you can aim for bigger goals as you get used to it. Report back here and tell us of your successes. Every little bit counts!

People often feel unmotivated because they are looking at the big picture and it all seems like too much. But it's amazing how much easier it is if you break it down into parts!

And if it helps, do it with a friend.

[Kanga]

Oh WoW some of these stories have me in tears.... But, they act as good warnings thats for sure. Albeit scary Particularly to me a newbie on this journey who up until a couple of weeks ago was convinced my life was over and I was going to die any minute of a heart attack In fact the opposite has happened. 8 weeks down the track and I cannot recall every feeling this well......

You have been given some excellent advice and I am so happy for you that you are planning to take back control of this beast before it is too late. I wish you nothing but goodluck as you begin to take on this beast one meal at a time, one day at a time.

[JennyLynn]

Read about complications and even Google some images. That's how I started to deal with it.