| Update..... So, I want to thank everyone for there time given to me and the support. This is not goodbye for I will keep reading and keeping up with all the current events with diabetes. Ive invested so much time I can't turn my back. Im thinking of doing fundraisers and such as well. Maybe staying involved will help me say good bye to Paul. We have broken up. I left him. As sad as it is, I just can't do it anymore. I love paul wiht all my heart. I would throw myself down to carry him any time and I have. It cokes me up to think of all we've been through. But like you have all said, I need to take care of myself. Im too young and too tired to keep up taking care of both of us. I need to be taken care of now. Even if im just focusing all on me.
Hes trying now and its some what sad to watch, the only time he will change is when im gone. Sadly this is a pattern I tell him not to have hope; but hes presistant.
Now i have a few choices.
A) stay here and keep going to school, and struggle to make end meet, cause I can't live my parents as I have rudely crashed here.
B) If I get the Assistant Manager job that Im interviewing for this is the foot in the door i have been itching for, for awhile. But id be in a small small town, by myself and paul will continue to try and win me back.
C) go to AZ and travel for a living training secret shoppers for safeway. Id see the world, sort of and Id be on my own taking care of myself. Paul could still try but it would be harder for him.
I just want to crawl in a hole and dissappear. and resurface when Im not so tired. |