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Some updates

I haven't been around here for a very long time now, and it's been even longer since I last wrote anything in this blog. There's been a lot going on in real life so I just haven't had the time or energy to be on any social media or forum.   Taking care of my own diabetes along with other health issues is for sure a kind of full time job, only it doesn't give a paycheck other than staying healthy (or as healthy as can be) by doing that job well. Lately there's been some stress around in life, so my diabetes is behaving a bit more erratic than I'd like it, but it's still manageable. The stress? Oh, just my husband being in a very unpredictable honeymoon with blood glucose all over the place and we're doing our very best to keep him in range. Both him and I hope that his diabetes honeymoon will come to an end soon, because at least for me, things became more predictable and "easier" to deal with once the honeymoon ended all those years ago. We're hoping that will be the case for him as well. His insulin needs are beginning to increase a bit now so hopefully that means the honeymoon is ending, these past few months have been pretty ugly and both of us have lost a lot of sleep due his fluctuating glucose levels.   He's still on MDI but getting started on the Minimed 640g system in a couple of weeks, something we're very grateful for as it will enable him to match his insulin needs with more precision and both of us can hopefully get better sleep as the CGMS will warn if he goes out of range, and suspend delivery in case he's about to go low, and resume once danger is over. While it's not a guarantee you won't have hypos, at least for me that feature has saved me from some bad ones and I have fewer hypos in general, especially at night when I'm not awake and can actively prevent hypos.   Gee, I can barely even type now, feeling so sleepy. Main reason I'm even awake now is because I'm in too much pain to sleep, but some extra medicine has started to work a little now so hopefully I can fall asleep. At least my husband is sleeping and I just checked is blood glucose and it's at a decent level, tad bit high but better a tad bit high than going low. Just glad I don't have to wake him to have some snack. If he wakes up a bit high later that can be dealt with then. Just can not wait until he's got the pump and CGMS up and running and the basal rates has been figured out.   Ok, can't keep my eyes open any longer, and it's not because of the painkillers...

SweetAndBendy

SweetAndBendy

 

Diabete 2 arm problem

I have diabetes from the past 10 years I try to control my diabete by the low- carbo .. I try to avoid carbo (white sugar,white flavor,soda,fast foods,rice ..) And my fasting glucose reading is 6.2 to 6.3 and in the afternoon basically after my work it goes down to 5.5 5.7 and so far I don't take any kind of medicines. Now I'm having some problems and weakness in my arms and sometimes my muscles are stiffed and it's hard for me to move my arms .. If it's due to diabetes or something else please let me know.

cheema

cheema

 

14 months after DX

14 months after DX   I missed my 1 year lab appointment so I went in early this Sunday morning and got my results back this afternoon.   In short: Passed my urine test (Microalbumin/Creat Ratio) - which was borderline before and now well below the threshold. Will keep an eye on this.
A1c is now 5.7. Ironic how I thought my previous 5.5 was too high and how I’m thankful it’s “only" 5.7 this time around. I had concerns tied to my significant FBG rise over the last 1-2 months. More on that below.
Triglycerides/HDL ratio still below 2.0 - I don’t care much about the rest.
My glucose meter comparison with lab number on FBG - more or less the same.
My big homework assignment this time around was tied to the sudden, clear rise in FBG. I created a journal entry for it a few weeks or so ago:   There has been a rather sudden and sharp rise in my FBG numbers (10-15 point rise - see graph). While many variables are in play, the main difference I’ve noticed which correlates with the sudden rise, has been a change in my daily activity. I now try to jog between 3-4 miles about 5 or 6 times a week, first thing in the morning. This started out without paying much attention to intensity, but after a scare, I started to pay more attention to intensity, at least in terms of how I feel and what my fitbit is telling me my HR is.   So more recently, this is a very slow jog, almost a walking pace, and I’ve been extremely mindful of keeping the pace around 13 minutes a mile, which is not easy to do. A part of this motivation to go extremely slow is tied to a concern around over-training, cortisol, stress, etc. At this slow pace, I feel great and it seems to be okay in terms of stress (fitbit heart rate monitor, while not that accurate, shows my HR as in a safe zone).   The other variables off the top of my head: Working out first thing in the morning vs. late at night. I’m a night person and used to do any sort of workout after work and in the evenings. This shift to doing a 5k jog every morning, first thing after getting up and taking an FBG reading, is different.
Not eating anything before the jog. I’m actually not hungry then. At all. But perhaps I should be eating something. I’ve been experimenting with taking a single serving of a Vega One All-in-One Nutritional Shake (which I’ve used many times over the past year for other reasons) - we’ll see if that makes any difference. Still feels odd to eat when not hungry. But perhaps it is “messing with my metabolism” - though it would be good to actually measure my metabolism to confirm.
Still doing a lot of restaurant eating and that involves new places. And even with repeat visits, there is quite a bit of exposure with regard to hidden sugars and such.
Perhaps the running is increasing my appetite? I don’t feel that it does, but perhaps that’s causing me to eat far more than I realize.
No more gym - I didn’t do much there other than walk on the treadmill for 60 minutes, but perhaps the strength training I did do - no matter how little - helped.
Eating less vegetables.
No more tennis on Friday with ex-NCAA tennis buddy #7.
The earlier trend was there around the time A and B returned and I got back on their diet and eating habits. (Skipping sugar and grains and staying more on the lower carb side, which they are pretty good about respecting.)
Increase in weight. Increase in abdominal fat. First notch on belt vs second notch. Maybe 10 pounds?
In any case, I have tried to back down on intensity in terms of per mile pace and not working out every morning or every day/evening. We’ll see. Figure this out and dialing it in is fun in a twisted way. =)

Bishop

Bishop

 

Low belly ache

Of and on I get this belly ache all the way to the pelvis and bloat. I am seeing all this under slow stomach emptying. I get it every few months and it's miserable to say the least. Trying less protein for supper and mushy veggies with a couple bottles of water. We shall see.

kooka

kooka

 

Carbs versus feet

Yesterday I ate under 10 carbs and also more fat. I actually had almost a pain free night and only woke up twice. Ankles feel tight today but not very painful. Dr. Jacoby says you can reduce the pain and I am hopeful now. My fasting was 134 this mourning and has leveled out all day at 110 and for me that is great. My friend thinks I am taking it too far with such low carbs but she can walk and go to Zumba class among other things. I will just keep it to myself and maybe one day I can do Zumba myself. I am also hoping to get these last few pounds off as I am thick in the middle and Dr. Bernstein says this can cause high fasting bg's. Where there is breath there is hope they say and I'm still breathin.'

kooka

kooka

 

So much pain

I remember when I had more good days than bad. Then more bad than good and now no good days. I read that when you stay strict to lc under 40 your nerves can regenerate some and be more painful than before so I am trying to embrace the pain and see it as a good thing. Some days I think back and wish I'd taken better care of myself soon but looking back never changes a thing. The quality of my life sucks right now so I have to remember I still have feet and legs to feel pain in. Could be no hope at all and I do have some. Onward to another sleepless night despite sleeping pills and meditation. I am so hoping for a break in a few weeks.   "I complained about my shoes til I met a man with no feet."

kooka

kooka

 

Continuing the fast...

Fasting today, after a weekend of so-so eating. I have decided I really need to double down on the LC thing and get back to how I was right after dx. I've had too many slip-ups.   Today I'm fasting until dinner (from dinner last night), and I'm planning on making a big ol' pile of eggs and bacon. I'm pretty hungry today. Not starving, but you know, I'm feeling it. I've had tea and water and coffee so far, and about to get more water!   Being hungry during the day will certainly make the eggs and bacon taste better.   Also, I spent my lunch hour at Starbucks (for the tea), and now I smell like Starbucks.

Vilya

Vilya

 

I'm trying Dr. Fung's fasting protocol

I know I've been away for a little bit, but I'm back, and I've started Dr. Fung's fasting protocol to see if it will help my BG and insulin resistance.   I'm doing my first 24-hour fast right now! Started at 6:00 last night, and now on hour 19. It's been pretty easy so far. I haven't been starving, which is nice.   Have to run, I'll come back and post more later...

Vilya

Vilya

 

I hate this disease.

I can tell my BG has been high, because I just felt like it was low, and I checked and it was 114. Getting false hypos, lovely.   Still waiting on the results of my lab work from March 3. If my A1C has dropped at all, it's probably not much. I wish it didn't take so long to get the results back...   I haven't eaten a vegetable in probably 6 weeks, and I can feel my body starting to rebel and ask for some! I hate vegetables, no matter how they're prepared. Yes, even roasted. I mean, I CAN eat them, but I'd rather not, and it's like taking medicine. Yuck.   Can't wait for my birthday weekend away tomorrow. I'm going to hang out with my dogs, and probably look for a steakhouse nearby for my birthday dinner. I'll be alone, but that's fine.

Vilya

Vilya

 

Carbohydrates - Nutrition or Poison???

I thought this might be an interesting opener....   A quote I often come across in my Google travels in the realm of diabetes is, "Carbs are poison for diabetics". I would say that I am onboard with this. I can only really write from the perspective of a newly diagnosed T2 that APPEARS to still make insulin so please forgive me if I make statements that are incorrect. One goal I am looking into is helping people that are newly diagnosed. I can't save the world but if I can get information to people and it helps them then it is worth it.   So I was thinking random thoughts while puttering around the store and one thought that popped up was wondering if carbohydrates are poison in general? Before you laugh my thought is that alcohol is also a poison. We can metabolize alcohol, small amounts of it seem to be beneficial, we can live without alcohol but it can make life more pleasurable when used carefully.   I was wondering if the same might be true with simple carbohydrates like sugars? Never in history has there been such an abundance of convenient food (much of it loaded with simple carbohydrate) and there has also been an explosion in diabetes. So my thought is could carbohydrates be to the pancreas as alcohol is to the liver?   Just today's random thought.   Mike

meyery2k

meyery2k

 

My first blog ever in my life...

To open, a little about myself.   I have never written a blog. I would consider myself tech competent if not particularly tech savvy. I have had a computer since they were widely comercially available since the mid 1980's. I own a smart phone and a tablet and, again, would classify myself as proficient in their use while not an expert.   I am 49 years old. I was born in Tucson, AZ, grew up and graduated High School in San Diego, CA. Moved to Hawaii in 1989 to be closer to family that had moved here earlier, fell in love with it, and just plug along here the best I can. I now live in Hilo, HI which has the distinction of having the 2nd rainiest city in the US with an average of 120" (yes, 120") of rain a year. It is considered tropical rainforest. The rainiest city is actually somewhere in Alaska.   I have 3 children Tim at 35 who lives nearby in Hilo, Amber at 29 who lives in Elm City, NC. and Kala at 20 who is going to school at Sy. John's University in Queens, NYC and figuring out what she wants to do. She is majoring in education and is interested in pursuing a career in Special Needs Education. I have a great relationship with all my children. They have turned out to be good humans. Tim works the night shift at Target and Amber is a stay at home Mom in addition to being a small business owner in which she sells her crochet work.   I have 3 grandchildren, Tyler at 14 who is being a bit of a rebellious teen but I believe he will finds his path, Hailey who is 7 and on a cheerleading team which recently won First Place at a state tournament in NC, and Damien who is 4 and loves dinosaurs.   Now that all my children are out of the house I have 2 cats, Tigger and Bella, to occupy my time and make me get up in the morning. There are some interesting stories behind them which I will share in future blogs.   I have been in the telecommunications industry since 1985 in some way, shape, or form, until the present. It is an industry that has seen many changes as computers and the Internet have become a larger part of our lives. In some ways, I think I am like a steamship engineer from the 19th century that has seen internal combustion engines, the changes they brought to that industry, and the eventual decline and demise of that industry. My hope is that I can work in this industry until retirement. To do this, I have had to learn other disciplines in IT since telecommunications is now considered just another application in the office. In the not too distant past, voice was a stand alone discipline and the "computer guy" and the "phone guy" rarely interfaced with one another. Now the "computer guy" and the "phone guy" are often the "same guy". I love my job because it varies. I sometimes manage and then install large cabling jobs, manage and plan networks and VoIP designs, help my customers with their communications and data needs and, once in a while, roll the truck and change a handset cord on a phone. I have learned about how many other trades in the construction industry work since I have to interact with them and play nicely with them to get my job done.   I was diagnosed with diabetes T2 in January 2016. When diagnosed, I was obese at 5'11" and 313#. My A1C was 7.5. My first morning FG test was 291. My blood pressure was 160/110. At the writing of this blog I am now the same height, 288#, my BP averages 133/75, my A1C was measured at the doctor's office at 5.5 and my FG for the past week has been 89-96. I have changed my diet, exercise, and take Metformin. I also take thyroid hormone replacement medicine. I have posted in the forums all the details of what I do so, other than this cursory information, I will move on...   I would like to start a blog because I believe I have joined a wonderfully positive community in which members genuinely care and show compassion for one another. When I was first diagnosed, it was pretty much, "Mr. Meyer, you have diabetes. Fill these prescriptions, test your blood sugar every morning before breakfast, keep track of the numbers, and I will see you in 2 weeks to see how things are going."   My hope would be to offer advice and encouragement based upon my experiences and to document my thoughts and feelings as newly diagnosed while I can still easily remember them. I imagine I will look back at these 5 years, or 10, or even 20 and think, "How naïve..." and shake my head but such is life.   I had no clue how to proceed until finding these forums and corresponding with people who have been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I didn't have to reinvent the wheel. Good common sense advice was given. Everyone stressed that every person is different and no one had the magic cure all or process for BG control. They would share what worked for them and that would help me find my way.   My intended writing would be positive things in my life from the past and present as well as anecdotes relating to just about anything. I hope these are well received. I will always welcome commentary and constructive criticism since steel is stronger when forged with fire. I would also welcome and encouraged reasoned debate as appropriate.   In other words, I really have no idea where this will go and I will take this first step by posting this.   If there are any topics anyone would be interested in, I would also be open to ideas!   I have called this ClubD! with the intent of it being a sort of "hang out" where we can share whatever. I have never been into "clubbing" so here we are...   I thank you for reading this and look forward to this journey.   Mike

meyery2k

meyery2k

 

MS or RA

That my dear me is the question. Multiple Sclerosis or Rheumatoid Arthritis. Had some blood tests. Waiting now. Meanwhile the pain is pretty bad, the fatigue is pretty badder and the brain fog is the baddest of all. I guess the neuropathy wanted company. Meanwhile I am pretty much to tired to care if I'm to tired. Was quite embarrassing today though when I could not for the life of me understand why I could not find the Big Boys on the Frishes menu. Maybe it was because I was at LaRossa's. Oh and I had to ask twice for a Frishes fish sandwich. Oh duh. Just sit on a box and laugh. Some train cars always come back empty down the clicking cracking track.

kooka

kooka

 

Let's talk about liver dumps.

I am having the worst time with DP and liver dumps. I can't seem to get a handle on it, which is annoying.   So far, the best results I've gotten are when I eat very little protein at dinner. I haven't tried having a snack right before bed, though, so I should probably try that. Maybe 4 or 5 almonds?

Vilya

Vilya

 

I could kill for a....

Bowl of ice cream. A brownie with nuts and icing. A house sized slice of chocolate fudge cake. A malt. A key lime pie...from Florida....on the beach....with a beer. Okay so no beer. Going on 12 years not eating this stuff and sugar free just does not cut it sometimes. Unlike my late, beautiful brother, I do not want it enough to give up my legs and then my heart and then my life. Love and miss you my precious person. It was an honor.

kooka

kooka

 

One foot in front of the other, I guess...

I just can't seem to string the good days together anymore. It's a constant one good, one bad, or one good, TWO bad.   My sleep has always been terrible. This isn't new for me; it's been a lifelong battle to get any amount of decent sleep. But as I get older, it's getting worse. I don't function very well on 5-6 hours of sleep anyway, but when you're young you can kind of shrug it off and keep going. Not so much anymore!   On the weekends, I usually go to bed around 11:00 or 12:00, and sleep until 7:00, and then take a nap in the afternoon. This actually works pretty well for me, but of course I can't do this during the work week, so by the time Friday rolls around I'm exhausted and don't feel like doing anything on the weekends except sleep.   The year that I was off and only working part-time in the afternoons was the most rested I'd ever been. I'd go to bed around 1:00 a.m. and sleep until 8:30 or 9:00, then most days also take a short nap. It's the getting up at 5:30 every day that kills me. And going to bed earlier doesn't seem to work as well for me as going to bed later and getting up later. I wonder why that is?   Anyway, I'm sure my sleep issues are not helping my BG any. I mean, of course my diet isn't stellar, but the lack of sleep doesn't help, either. I'm just a mess.

Vilya

Vilya

 

Living the royal life

Well I went to the grocery. Barely made it back to the car since many ankles went completely stiff on me. Now I know why I gave up driving. Came home, put the stuff away, seared some beef, cut up a few veggies, dumped them in the slow cooker then put on my robe and now I am in bed. Of course we are having a balmy, warm winter day. In the 60's and back to snow next week. I, however, am in bed like a royal. Needed a more royal ibuprofen but you do what you can. Time to read a book. Time for some JD and a Bud. Ain't that a hoot. Now that would kill what ails me for sure. Taking my leave as my fingers are stiff. Kudos and blessings

kooka

kooka

 

The never-ending story

My feet, legs and knees and hands have been crushed for two weeks everyday all day. Add that to the arthritis in the ankles and hands it's no wonder I have extreme fatigue. Now today the bottom of my feet are on fire. I can barely walk these days. I know I am getting depressed and the more fatigue and pain is sucking me down in a pit. I have a doc apt. next week so I know he is going to talk Lyrica again. I would rather take Zoloft again. Took it years ago before the back surgery and had no withdrawals when I stopped. Oh well this is my life though I often wonder if it is a life. It's not a productive one that's for sure. Blah blah blah

kooka

kooka

 

Nine months after DX....

Just got my numbers back from the lab and hit a 5.5 for my A1C - still much higher than I thought, but given what I have been doing (or not doing), combined with a huge wake up call on my DXA scan in terms of my visceral fat situation, I cannot say I'm surprised. Lipid and metabolic panels all still good thankfully.   Will think through how best to incrementally address the visceral fat situation. Deep down inside, I think I've always known the answer, but need to take care around how I go about addressing it. Ugh. Such drama.   Anyhow....   Things which have changed since the last A1c reading about 3 months ago: I’ve known it for months now - in terms of not eating when not hungry - but have stuck to this a bit more noticeably, at least in my mind. I caught myself eating full meals when not hungry because it was time for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack/party/break/meeting, and everyone around me was eating, and so on. Taking me time to get used to but is becoming far easier and I don’t think I’m hurting anyone’s feelings after I explain why. (There are a few in my friends and family circle who cook exceptionally well and are initially depressed when I’m not chowing down on their greatness.)
I don’t use it often, but bought a blood ketone meter instead of guessing or assuming, look at it from time to time, though nowhere near as often as my BG checks. Think about GKI too as another framework of reference.
Dabbled in nutritional ketosis with great results and working on understanding my body better to see if I can sustainably integrate more and more of that into my lifestyle vs. merely keeping it in my toolbox.
Also dabbled with some IF (intermittent fasting), but in the most mild manner (16:8) and extremely infrequently. Seems to work quite well for me in terms of zero hunger - quite the opposite actually and it freaked me out a bit when I was also able to do moderate level activity while in that state with no problems whatsoever - and low BG values. But the more I study up on this, the more I believe IF can be abused horribly via business and personal temptation, and overextended to the point where the short term benefits are not worth the long term damage.
Using the DXA scan vs. the scale and my body weight to measure changes in overall body fat percentages as well as visceral body fat percentages. DXA is infinitely better than the old school methods. I should have been paying attention when these services first came out. The results have been extremely eye opening for me personally. I only have two data points so far, but my visceral fat percentage has actually gone up while my weight has remained mostly flat and I have actually gained some muscle mass in my legs. This is not good and is the single biggest red flag for me.
Getting back on to the VersaClimber (extremely light use) but not as a substitute for my walking routines and not in large chunks. There are a number of other motivations I can’t get into here, but has always been an efficient tool in terms of floor space, convenience, and of course, cardio-efficiency per unit time here is superior to any other cardio I currently do.
Huge wake up call on my protein consumption and the fact that it can easily knock me out of nutritional ketosis - especially during this early phase where I haven’t developed a great, experienced feel for it. So still doing a lot of protein and steaks, but mindful of nutritional ketosis impact. Which is not to say that my current goal is to be in NK all the time. I should simply no longer be surprised if I’m knocked out of NK after eating a monster steak and taking a nap.
Big increase in amount of cheese and macadamia nuts eaten on an almost daily basis. This may be a problem.
Figured out how to use the “ignore this user” functionality in the forum. It’s totally not a problem in any case, and I only have a tiny, tiny number of folks on there, but it works so well and seamlessly!
No new insights on sustainability from my own data points (still way too early), but I pick up some anecdotes here and there from the collective wisdom of this forum tied to sustainability relative to the progression vs. non-progression of this disease, reversible vs. irreversible complications, and the fact that “getting older” happens to most of us. =)   Live life to the fullest, maintain perspective and balance. And in The Big D context for myself - measurement, nutrition, activity, sleep, stress - the usual, though some are much easier than others.         May 28, 2015 to Present   My history to date of A1C and fasting blood glucose (FBG) from labs, except where noted (i.e. from my own blood glucose meter) - DX here means diagnosis.   2015.05.28 DX'd A1C at 13.2, FBG at 194 - The Wake Up Call !!   2015.06.08 [11 days after DX] FBG mostly in 80s, all below 100   2015.06.27 [~1 months after DX] A1C at 9.8 & FBG at 88 2015.08.28 [~3 months after DX] A1C at 6.0 & FBG at 87 2015.09.28 [~4 months after DX] A1C at 5.7 & FBG at 95 2015.11.21 [~6 months after DX] A1C at 5.6 & FBG at 83 2016.02.16 [~9 months after DX] A1C at 5.5 & FBG at 84     Medication: I have never taken any medication for diabetes or non-diabetes; I realize this may change significantly over time.   Diet: I’ve adopted a low-to-moderate carbs lifestyle and aspire to become more fat adapted and in various levels of nutritional ketosis (including NOT being in nutritional ketosis), keeping in mind that low carb is not the same as a ketogenic diet which is not the same as actually being in nutritional ketosis. I’ve reversed my position on fats and eat a ton of fats, cheese, butter, meats, nuts, though I also try to eat a lot of vegetables, especially cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, collard greens, brussel sprouts, spinach, and kale. I am not strictly following any given LCHF, Paleo, Atkins, or Diet X, but learning from all of them and trying to figure out what works best for me over time. My biggest revelation to date has been that for me, protein consumption in terms of the absolute amount DOES matter.   Exercise: I try to perform daily, mild, but deliberate walking, or 80-100,000 steps per week on average, extremely light and infrequent strength training, and occasional but well beyond recreational intensity tennis. I am intimately familiar with HIIT and various exercise vs. training routines, but will NOT go down that path for now. That said, I actually own a VersaClimber - a time tested system that I’m very familiar with and I’ve always thought represented the best bang for the buck - but only use it a few times a week, if at all, at this point in time. Depending on my progression, as with medication, this may change significantly over time.   Weight: I’ve been holding reasonably steady, but am now going to track here based off a DXA scan vs. just the scale.

Bishop

Bishop

 

Very frustrating...

Even though I am still eating much lower-carb than the usual Standard American Diet, I still can't keep my BG down to where I want it. I know intellectually that that's how it is, and that my body does not handle carbs well at all, but it still annoys me!   I feel like I'm going to have to keep carbs down forever to 15-20 per day, if I don't want to go on insulin soon. I don't know if that's possible, though. Staying that low is not something I think I can do forever.   The obvious solution is to start exercising and lose some weight, which in some ways is a less-attractive option than insulin. That's how much I hate to exercise. How pathetic is that?? I'm the stereotype that everyone quotes when they talk about diabetics: fat and lazy.

Vilya

Vilya

 

Why I Relapsed

I remember so clearly the time right after I was dx'd. I was scared out of my mind, like many of us were. The sheer terror of having such a high BG gave me the motivation to cut the carbs out of my life completely. I was eating under 20 carbs per day, effortlessly. I had no cravings, no temptations. And my BG responded quickly and dramatically.   Going back through my logs from that time, I had morning BG's in the 80's and 90's every day, and I rarely went over 105 or so after meals. The weight dropped off without even trying hard. It was a magical time.   And then I quit my corporate job, which I did to pursue a dream of taking my dog training side business into full time. I knew that I'd always regret not trying it if I didn't do it. Things went OK, but not great, and I ended up getting a part-time job in a daycare. That was the beginning of my relapse. The parents brought me treats constantly, and I ate them. I had been really good about not buying that stuff on my own, but when faced with free goodies every week, I crumbled. Still, I managed to keep my BG mostly in check, though I gained about 10 lbs.   And then my friend made me an offer that seemed like all my dreams come true. She is a well-established dog trainer, and she wanted me to come work with her. I went to stay with her for 6 weeks, as a trial period, and after 2 weeks I realized I didn't actually WANT to be a trainer in that particular way, meaning on-call 24/7, no scheduled work hours, basically having the job become your life. I hadn't known it before, but I realized quickly that I'm a person who needs a set work schedule, and predictable time off. It was this realization that sent me spiraling out of control.   I came home defeated, feeling like an utter failure. Here I had been handed my dream job on a silver platter, and it turned out it wasn't what I thought. Not to mention that my training skills were not at the level I thought they were (I'm a good trainer, but I had overestimated myself), so that made me feel like more of a failure. I have terrible anxiety and have suffered from depression all my life, so this incident sparked a massive clinical depression.   I could barely function. I came home and had no job and almost no money. I struggled to get out of bed. Thank god for my own dogs, who needed me to take care of them, because I'm not sure I would have made it otherwise. I completely stopped caring about food and my health. I just ate junk and more junk, all the things I hadn't eaten in 2 years - pizza, bread, rice, chips, sweets. Everything; I didn't care.   A few months into this, I saw an ad from the place where I buy my dog food. They needed someone to manage their office. I would be in a warehouse, mostly alone, or with just the owner. It didn't really pay enough to meet my bills, but it was a literal lifesaver. Being able to work in an environment where I could wear whatever I wanted and not worry about interacting with people - that was perfect. I took the job and slowly started dragging myself out of the depression. I went back to counseling. I stayed in that job for 8 months, until it became impossible to support myself anymore. I needed more money, and once again, a job landed in my lap.   I am now back in the industry I left, earning good money and back in a mental place that allows me to work on my diabetes again. It's still a work in progress, but I'm getting there. I'm so incredibly grateful for whatever force in my life continued to present me with jobs exactly when I needed them. I don't take that for granted, or lightly. Somebody or something wants me to go on, and I'm not going to dishonor that. I'm so happy to be back here with you guys, too. I missed this place.

Vilya

Vilya

 

Spastic fantastic

I haven't slept much nor well overnight, been having a fair bit of leg spasticity and I can't really pinpoint as to why. Now I do have spasms in my legs from time to time, but for the most part it doesn't wake me up or keep me awake. Most of the time I just get some spasms after a transfer or going over a bump or something. Maybe I need to increase my muscle relaxant a bit, I'll talk with my doctor about it if my legs keep being this annoying at night tomorrow and over the weekend. It doesn't just disturb my sleep but also my husband's sleep as we sleep next to each other. When one or both of my legs spasms it can make the entire bed shake some. It's really quite annoying, I'd have to say it's the most annoying part about being paralyzed from a spinal cord injury. I can live with not being able to walk, but the spasms can be very bothersome and even cause injuries at times because of my underlying disorder. But other than those issues, my quality of life has actually improved some, as weird as that may sound! I used to have very intense pain in my hips and knees but since my injury, I no longer physically feel that pain, although my body still reacts to the pain so it doesn't mean I don't have to treat the pain. It's a relief to not feel it at least. It's really difficult to explain it all. If you've seen the movie The Intouchables you've seen the phenomenon at least as there are scenes in the movie where the paralyzed main character has moments where his body reacts to pain that he can not feel because of his injury.   Anyways, when I couldn't sleep I just spent some time watching videos on YouTube and reading some on my iPad while waiting for my spasms to calm down. Being awake of course also meant checking glucose levels from time to time, both on myself and hubby. Hubby takes his Levemir before bed and has been considering back and forth to split his dose or change to take his Levemir in the morning instead because he's afraid of night time lows, but the most likely is to split his dose because he finds it doesn't quite last the 24 hours it's supposed to last, it's more like 18-20 hours for him so he tends to need to take a bit more insulin with dinner and/or a small correction later in the evening depending on how his blood sugar is doing that particular day. Not getting the full 24 hours kinda makes it tricky to take the Levemir only in the morning, but on the other hand, with not eating for many hours it may still work okay unless he gets hit badly with DP. On the nights when I have checked on him, he does seem to have some DP in the early hours of the morning but not very much, on the other hand, he's only been diagnosed for a few weeks so the honeymoon period could begin at any point and he still has some insulin production on his own as well, morning, evening or both is something we'll figure out, but he seems keen to split the dose so I think he'll try that over the weekend already because he's been talking about it for a while now. Guess he'll try to call his team after breakfast to talk with them a little about his plans. This past night I had to wake him because he was beginning to go low at about 03:00, not very low but it could have turned into a full blown night time hypo if both of us had been asleep. He had some juice and a protein bar before going back to sleep, the protein bar has 11g of carbs out of which only 0.9g is actual sugar so it works pretty well for keeping the glucose level up when wanting to prevent a hypo or avoid going low again if the next meal is many hours away. At least that's my experience and protein bars are easy to have by the bed, taste like candy- mmmmmm candy! It's also quite filling. I tend to have a protein bar as a bedtime snack if I'm slightly below my comfort zone even though I'm on a pump with CGM. It's just so unnecessary to have to wake up to eat something as even the Smart Guard isn't a guarantee for having no hypos, when you can just eat something before bed instead of gambling with your sleep quality!   Now I should get up and have some breakfast before trying to get a nap.   Hope everyone in any blizzard area will stay safe!

SweetAndBendy

SweetAndBendy

 

Late night low

On nights like this, I'm really grateful to have access to a CGM and a pump that communicates with it. Hubby and I were just thinking of going to sleep when I got a warning of sinking blood glucose levels. I'm currently at 4.0 with downward arrow, something I'm definitely not going to sleep with even with the Medtronic 640G at my side. I'm hungry anyways and am in fact beginning to feel low as well.   Now 4.0 isn't very low so I would have eaten something for it even without my CGM and pump, and I always test manually just before sleep anyways to make sure that I'm at a safe level to go to sleep on. But one thing I wouldn't have gotten without the CGM is the arrow, I would only have seen 4.0, but not in which direction my glucose is heading, is it going up or down or is it level? Now I know it's going down, and since I'm already 4.0 and with a downwards trend, the Smart Guard in my pump has kicked in and suspended the basal until my glucose reaches a pre set level again, at which point it resumes insulin delivery. And yes, it suspends at a higher level at night than it does in daytime, simply because it's easier to manage a hypo in daytime than at night.   But if I had been asleep now and didn't have my CGM and pump that responds to it, or didn't have a CGM at all, then I could have woken up with a nighttime hypo quite soon, with the risk of having all day tomorrow ruined by a nighttime hypo.   As I'm typing this I'm feeling slightly shaky and still heading downwards but my mind is still fairly clear so I don't need to hurry to eat something, and thanks to the pump being suspended I'd likely be fine without eating as well, if it wasn't for the fact that I have some IOB still from a snack earlier and *hangs head in shame* must have taken a little bit too much insulin for it Right now it's probably the IOB that's messing with me since I keep sinking. But oh well... Things like this happens sometimes, it's just the good old life of living with type 1 diabetes!   Now for the big question... What to eat to bring my glucose back up again? A sandwich and glass of milk? Some cereals with milk? Some candy and nuts? Juice and nuts? I know what I do NOT want at least: GLUCOSE TABS!   It's taken me about 30 minutes to write this down, as I started writing I was at 4.0 and now I'm down to 3.2 and really beginning to feel hypo... Darn you IOB!   Note to self: Remember to set Smart Guard to kick in sooner if having IOB as you're wanting to go to sleep   Now I really have to eat something! Sandwich and milk it is!   Kinda having a diabetic fail tonight    

SweetAndBendy

SweetAndBendy

 

BCBS/DP/Neuro

Blue Cross seems to be okay for the medication part plus if I do a health survey and health coach goal thingy I get almost $200.00 on a wellness card to use toward medicine or medical doctors and purchases. Other than going to Meijer's and take advantage of their free medications including Metformin I can use it for co-pays or a heating pad LOL Now if they would just pay more on test strips life would be much calmer.   My BG's were 148 this morning when I got up. I did eat supper at 6 and had a dill pickle before bed. I know here soon it will be under 100 since I just ate breakfast a tad ago. I am no going to try exercise 2 hours before bed and one night I ate a can of Vienia (can't spell the dang word) sausages and the FB was 124 next morning. I may start trying that also.   Neuropathy in the foot still keeps it red and swollen but the legs seem not to be so painful as long as I don't cut my carbs under 30 so I am remaining at 40-50 even it my BG's are a tad higher. Sure miss wearing cutie shoes and sandals though and knee boots with a high heel on them. boohoo Going to try and be more active during the day though that often causes more pain later in the day. Pain is pain whether I do exercise or not so bring it on!   Until then peace on earth good will to men.

kooka

kooka

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