one of my cats - in fact the one i am using as an avatar right now - has the most amazing attitude. his name is d'artagnan, or d'art for short. he has other nick names which are not as polite, because he only has about three brain cells. total. there is no telling when they will actually all fire at the same time.
but, god love him, he's the friendliest, happiest cat i know.
when he looks up at me, i notice two things right away. one, he is breathing out of his mouth. again. it happens every time he looks up or sleeps on his back. two, there is nothing but love in those big blue eyes. go ahead - take a look at my avatar. you should be able to see the undying, unconditional love pouring out of his slightly crossed eyes. please don't get me wrong. i am not d'art's only love. he loves everyone, even other cats who can't stand him. (i can't figure out why they don't like him, so i'm not surprised d'art hasn't figured that out either.) one of the funniest things i saw was scarlet's initial reaction to him. she wanted to give him a sound clout and drew back her smacking-paw, but then changed her mind because hitting him wouldn't do any good. there is no teaching him.
when it rains, d'art wants no part of being outside. that's understandable because cats generally don't like being wet or hearing loud sounds. however, once d'art's in, he wants to go back out and play in the sun. even if it's raining buckets and thundering, he asks to go out and then asks to come right back in. we don't have a magic door into beautiful weather, but poor d'art can't quite get it. after all, mumma and puppa (myself and dear husband) work magic all the time.
to d'art, every day is a totally new day because it's a day he's never had before. life is one big, happy adventure full of everybody he loves.
there will never be another cat like him. most likely, there never has been a cat like him!
i take a lot of supplements in the hope they will support the prescriptions and all the health issues that need to be addressed will be. for instance, i take cinnamon to help lower my blood sugar. i have been taking that since before the "Big D" diagnosis, so i don't know how much good it has done. did it stave off the diagnosis? don't know. did it have any effect? imponderable. i take vitamin c to help stave off all the beastly viral and microbial stuff that the kids drag home and cough everywhere. again - does it help? imponderable.
by the way, i realized just today that i should NOT be taking red yeast rice pills. what the h3ll was i thinking?? as soon as i got the "Big D" diagnosis, i should have thrown them away.
but something else happened today, and it was really strange. i had taken my prescriptions, vitamins and supplements about ten minutes earlier. i had a teeny burp -
and a small cloud of cinnamon came out!
instantly i had some small notion of what it is like to take the cinnamon challenge. yikes! if anyone asks, i'll "just say no"...
there are so many interesting, funny, talented, wise, and wacky people on this forum. i didn't know what to expect when i signed up. i still don't know what to expect!!
and that makes me smile every time i sign on...
self-centered people have never been my cup of tea, no matter how they express their self-interest (drama queens, attention-seekers, crime, etc.). my life has been measured by how i treat others. i'm a natural-born altruist.
life on this planet is not just day-care. we're not just supposed to exist here until we exist here no more. we're not just supposed to sit tight till daddy comes to take us home. i'm convinced we're supposed to learn something while we're here.
what is it we are supposed to learn? i've always believed that compassion is the most important lesson. since i'm a compassionate person, i keep wondering what it is that i am supposed to learn - i have that one main lessson down pretty good. especially now, since i must pay so much attention to myself, i am puzzling over this. what exactly am i to learn from this? (by paying attention to myself, i mean my diet, my feet, my eyesight, my medications, etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseam.)
i acknowledge that i am responsible for every bite i eat, and that i should have stood my ground more when faced with opposition about my choices. ("is that all you're going to eat?") i admit my faults: i procrastinate about anything i'm not paid to do. (my reports at work are on time. my laundry waits until my clothing choices are slim pickings.) i think the best thing about me is that i love people. i love animals, too (but that is a lot easier since they don't judge). i feel like i'm cracking my head on the wall with this question, when the answer is probably something simple like learn to be happy or learn to love yourself. (i like me, but i'm not all that sure i love me.)
maybe i just need to add myself as a friend...
I suppose I should do an intro post. I am creating this blog to keep track of my numbers until I get a feel for where I am eating various foods. So things may be boring for a while. But I hope to inject (yar har, diabetes pun) a little life into it once in a while with tidbits here and there.
I am 46 years old, female, and am pre-D (highest FBSs on labs at 103 and 107). I believe I am gluten intolerant. I had a scare recently where my vision blurred badly after a carb binge. After that, I decided to get serious.
Nice to meet you all.
I need to get myself under control. It's been a year since I have posted on here and the same amount of time since I have taken my meds properly and even ate right. I just started again on 6/30 with my fbs being 183
07/01 ~ 173
07/02 ~ 164
07/03 ~ 160
Not great at all, but I read where I had posted that it was 216 when I first started before so this is a step in the right direction. I hope to stick with it and save my life because I know that I need to for my children and for me. Praying for better days.
Fungal infections and Florida seem to go hand in hand and I try to not use toxic stuff on food plants.
I found Actinovate works very very well and organic gardening control of the assorted fungal diseases.
It's a bacteria powder you mix with water and spray the plants with. A 2 oz packet last me all year as a little goes a long way.
And as a bonus it seems to hammer root knot nematodes too.
When I was little, I would lay in bed at night and worry about the monster who lived under the bed. Back then, in my dark and magical room it was a very real problem. Back then, everything was magic and the hard boundaries of reality were fluid with creative imagination. I would lay in bed and wait for it "to get me"...a nervous anticipation of the moment when it would come and claim me and drag me under the bed.
Tonight, right now, I feel like that little girl again. Losing friends and family to complications of diabetes, it brings up fear and dread of the unknown. I'm mad and want to fight everything that has to do with diabetes, all of the insidious complications, but I don't know what to do sometimes. I am tired of being afraid of dying young, or even worse, of being a burden to someone who I love. I think about dating and wonder if I should. Sort of like selling a car with a bad engine...you'd hate to put someone in a bad situation. I need to vent. I want to fight this and I don't know how to finish the chapter. Sure, I can control my sugar (and do) but there has to be more I could do to escape the monster.
Tomorrow I go to my friend's funeral. Tonight my sister is in the ER 10 hours away with internal bleeding and there is absolutely nothing I can do to help. More than anything, tonight I feel helpless and I hate that.