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diabetic and depressed...

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i'm not entirely sure of whether i'm depressed or just burnt out...

Well, where to start...my name is Elizabeth, I'm a 27 yr old T1D since 1997, I've had an insulin pump since I was 14, and out of nowhere, I just haven't felt like myself. I guess I'm stressing over making sure that my son's ready to start 1st grade but I look around my house and started hearing my parent's voices saying that I need to clean my house more, that I should be on top of my bills, and if I don't watch my BGLs more closely, I'm going to end up in the hospital in DKA again; I've gotten back to the point I was at exactly a year ago because my house is a disaster, my BGLs are out of control, and the bills just keep on coming...I'm working at a nursing home (mostly night shifts), doing some paperwork for the family business, and I'm considering taking a 3rd job as a certified hemodialysis technician while my fiancé is in-between jobs due to his epilepsy (no one wants to hire him because the epilepsy makes him a liability to the job). Last year, I developed DKA and I didn't notice until it was almost too late...I had lost a lot of weight (I went from 148 to 132 in 2 weeks), I wasn't taking my insulin or counting carbs like I should've been, and when I went to the doctor because I wasn't feeling well, they gave me a steroid injection (but no one realized that I was already in the beginning stages of DKA) and my BGL skyrocketed from bad (200-300) to worse (400 and higher). From what the doctors told me and my family, my BGL readings on my pump only showed that I had checked my BGL 10 times in a month...they labeled it as a "passive suicide attempt" because I hadn't intended to but I almost killed myself. I'm very lucky to be alive but now, I'm feeling burnt out again...maybe I'm just stressed and need to take a breath and relax.. I need to get my head on straight, if not for me, for my son...any ideas, thoughts, or suggestions would be greatly appreciated...thanks



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