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i'm not entirely sure of whether i'm depressed or just burnt out...

Elizabeth51988

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Well, where to start...my name is Elizabeth, I'm a 27 yr old T1D since 1997, I've had an insulin pump since I was 14, and out of nowhere, I just haven't felt like myself. I guess I'm stressing over making sure that my son's ready to start 1st grade but I look around my house and started hearing my parent's voices saying that I need to clean my house more, that I should be on top of my bills, and if I don't watch my BGLs more closely, I'm going to end up in the hospital in DKA again; I've gotten back to the point I was at exactly a year ago because my house is a disaster, my BGLs are out of control, and the bills just keep on coming...I'm working at a nursing home (mostly night shifts), doing some paperwork for the family business, and I'm considering taking a 3rd job as a certified hemodialysis technician while my fiancé is in-between jobs due to his epilepsy (no one wants to hire him because the epilepsy makes him a liability to the job). Last year, I developed DKA and I didn't notice until it was almost too late...I had lost a lot of weight (I went from 148 to 132 in 2 weeks), I wasn't taking my insulin or counting carbs like I should've been, and when I went to the doctor because I wasn't feeling well, they gave me a steroid injection (but no one realized that I was already in the beginning stages of DKA) and my BGL skyrocketed from bad (200-300) to worse (400 and higher). From what the doctors told me and my family, my BGL readings on my pump only showed that I had checked my BGL 10 times in a month...they labeled it as a "passive suicide attempt" because I hadn't intended to but I almost killed myself. I'm very lucky to be alive but now, I'm feeling burnt out again...maybe I'm just stressed and need to take a breath and relax.. I need to get my head on straight, if not for me, for my son...any ideas, thoughts, or suggestions would be greatly appreciated...thanks :)



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Hi Elizabeth. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Depression is rough, and there is an association between it and diabetes. If the docs haven't already gotten you on meds and therapy, be aggressive in getting them to do so. Be aware that it can take a bit of time to get the mix right, although in emergency cases there are some more things they can do.

 

It probably doesn't feel like it now, but it WILL get better. Ask for any support that you need from the people around you. Also look for depression support groups in your area.

 

This D is just as much a physical illness as the D you're used to. It's not all in your head and you can't "think your way out of it."

 

If you can, get out in the sun every morning, take walks and be sure you're eating right. DON'T beat yourself up if you can't do it. I've been there and some days it was a major feat to get out of bed. This is a REAL illness.

 

This post is kind of hidden here in the blogs. You may want to repost in a forum so you can get more peoples replies.

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I get swo depressed sometimes too with this DPN but there is always something to be grateful for. Even a nice breeze on a hot day is a reason to be happier. Sometimes we need to look at the small things for a while and forget the big stuff.

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Its hard when you naturally want to be In control of your

Life and you realize life is controlling you. You can still gain back much control a little at a time one day at a time . house cleaning and bills is enough to make anyone go crazy on top of dealing with sicknesses and being a wife and a mother. I would like to encouraged you to write down a list of good habits and bad habits you have .goof habits help you to appreciate the efforts you are making and bad habits to put in perspective whats bothering you .seeing things on paper helps to put things in perspective. I actually do this myself!

Start one thing at a time that you would like to work on . be realistic with your circumstances and again only focus on one goal at at time. Like cleaning the house you can't do everything at once so maybe a goal would be I'll do the bathroom this week .and write it down it helps to keep you from being overwhelmd with not knowing where to begin . we get beat up n the world and home has to be the place for comfort so by cleaning gradually it will relieve much stress and when accomplished a little at a time you feel eager to set and tackle other goals you set for yourself .

Maybe your first goal maybe to foscus on bills putting them in order with a calendar . writing down the due dates and if you don't have the money calling arranging a dif payment date. So then you start to gain control of the situations . that's just an example. My goals I wrote out for this month are better eating habits and I write it down in this cute little Victoria secret pink calendar book when I eat to much or eat just right. I can see my progress and setbacks and I feel like I'm gainng control. So get a nice writing pad and write those bad habits and good habits down and be realistic and focus on one at a time I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

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