Well got a workout at PT this morning. Foot was swelled around the ankle like a fat sausage roll and it hurt a lot oh yes. I have 9 more to go. I ask Jessica just exactly how this was going to affect my neuropathy and the pain of it and she said "none." I think I went into some state of shock at that moment. Why am I here then? "To strengthen the muscles and tendons in your legs because they are hard and tight with knots and adhesions. You will still have the neuropathy pain because nothing we can do for you will help it but your muscles will be more flexible and you will be able to balance and walk better." I guess it beats a blank. I guess my hopes were way to high. So there will never be another pain free day. How sad is that. I know I need to get into one of those riding carts at the store but when I do I am sure I will cry the first time. Kinda like giving up a smidge at a time. It makes me wonder how many smidges I have to go.
That's all good and well what she said but I felt like crying and this ear pain didn't help anything. So after all of the hour I came home unhappy and whipped. I am so thankful I am getting my BG's in control. I know at least I will be able to walk longer and the future will not look as bleak even with the pain. I won't be in a chair. Embrace the pain Barbara. My new mantra is ohh. Ohh ohh ohh ohh while seeing the beach and hearing the waves in my meditation I told the PT. She likely believes I am nuts but I am really only hanging on by a thread trying to keep the depression at bay. I cannot allow myself to get depressed. No not !