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Very frustrating...

Vilya

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Even though I am still eating much lower-carb than the usual Standard American Diet, I still can't keep my BG down to where I want it. I know intellectually that that's how it is, and that my body does not handle carbs well at all, but it still annoys me!

 

I feel like I'm going to have to keep carbs down forever to 15-20 per day, if I don't want to go on insulin soon. I don't know if that's possible, though. Staying that low is not something I think I can do forever.

 

The obvious solution is to start exercising and lose some weight, which in some ways is a less-attractive option than insulin. That's how much I hate to exercise. How pathetic is that?? I'm the stereotype that everyone quotes when they talk about diabetics: fat and lazy.



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Vilya,

 

You are not pathetic.  I also saw your blog about relapsing which, I think was a blessing to me.  I was recently diagnosed as a T2 a little over a month ago.  I am obese.  I was 5'11 and 311 lbs. when diagnosed.  I had not gone to the doctor for years so I don't know how long I have been diabetic.  In some ways I am fortunate, my A1C was 8 and my first morning testing my BG was 291.I have changed my diet, exercise 1 hour a day by walking at least 3 MPH.  My weight is now in the low to mid 290's and my fasting BG is in the 100-110 range.  I sometimes get a 98 and am shooting for 90's consistently now (like golf).  I have worked on reducing my carbs to around 60 a day from where I used to eat 200+, probably closer to 300 truth be told when I consider I would eat a whole medium pizza or a whole box of Stove Top stuffing or boxed mac and cheese in 1 meal and THEN have dessert.

 

What has happened to you can happen to anyone.  Life happens.  I certainly do not judge you because I could easily see this happening to me.  It took a lot of courage to post the truth.  That says a lot about you and does you credit.

 

Use the past to learn but do not dwell upon it.  Yesterday is finished and today is always an opportunity to start or renew something whether good or bad.  Tomorrow will just have to take care of itself.  I could pine about how I should have exercised more or eaten better and maybe I wouldn't be obese and diabetic but I didn't.  I have no regrets, I enjoyed all the food and I look at this as being a time to finally pay the piper a steeper bill than most others.

 

Exercise - I certainly am not going to brag.  I exercise because I have to. I hate it while I am doing it.  I can become tolerant of it and work it in as a routine for the day but I don't think I will ever enjoy it.  The diet, on the other hand, I am learning to adapt.  If the DOCTOR orders me to eat more good lean proteins, that I can do.  I love fish, chicken, and lean beef and the ways to prepare them are infinite.  I am starting to see that the carbs I though were so great are just cheap fillers.  I could be buying STEAK with the money I save not spending on carbs.

 

I don't know if this will help but I certainly wasn't walking 5K in 1 hour when I first started.  I started around the block at a slow pace with my daughter.  I realized that, while this was a good start, there would be little benefit unless I pushed myself.  I worked up to 1 mile, then 2 miles, then exercise for 45 minutes, now 1 hour at which I must keep a 3MPH average or better.  I am at 3.4 or 3.5 on a better day and I now hope to start jogging slowly after I lose a little more weight since 290 lbs running on 50 yo knees doesn't sound like a combination to succeed and I need my knees to last!

 

I have this horror of losing my feet to amputation.  At this time, I have no reason to fear this in the short term.  I have just seen this happen to people with diabetes and it frankly freaks me out.  By God I am going to use my feet and legs before I lose them if it comes to that!

 

Start slow, build up, try and redevelop it as a habit.  Your BG may or may not come down as you like but it will benefit you.  I would be a fool to say that I don't feel way better about myself today than I did a month ago.  I look at a bag of potatoes and realize I don't carry that around anymore.

 

Might I relapse?  Yes, of course. That is in the future though and I have little control over that.  I can look at today though and when 430 rolls around I weigh myself, put on the shoes, fire up the tunes on the BT headphones, set the exercise app, exercise, and hate it lol...
 

I too do not want to take insulin.  At this point, medicine, diet, and exercise are working but diabetes is progressive and this might not always be so.  Don't look at taking insulin as a defeat.  It might just be what you have to do to live with diabetes.

 

Truth be told, as positive as I talk, I wish I was not diabetic.  It has made me make some good changes that I otherwise would not have made but, it still sucks that I have it and always will have it whether well controlled or not.  As much as life with diabetes sucks though it beats the alternative of pushing up daisies before my time.

 

It has been my observation that the members of this forum are caring and encourage success.  I wrote this reply with the same attitude.  I hope I was successful.  Please let us know how this goes. ~ Mike

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Thank you so much for your kind words! They are very, very much appreciated. :)

 

When I was dx'd 4 years ago, the only exercise I did was walking, but I did build up to doing at least a couple of miles several times a week. Now, though, it seems impossible, and I don't know why. I know it's not impossible!

 

This disease messes with your head something fierce. It's such a roller coaster, and I can go for a long time feeling OK about it, and then suddenly be mad as heck and start feeling sorry for myself.

 

It helps a LOT to have you and and other members of this board in my corner. No one can understand this except the people who deal with it day in and day out. Thanks for lifting my spirits! :)

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Vilya,

 

I understand a little bit about this messing with your head.  I went through something like the 5 stages of grief after I was diagnosed.  Denial didn't last too long when I tested at 291!  Then bargaining.  I thought I could still eat anything I wanted, just less of it.  That worked to a point since I did see overall improvement when I started exercising and trying to eat healthier.  I figured I could still eat things like bread, potatoes, drink Coca-Cola, just way less.

 

My observations quickly pointed out that these foods would not be compatible with losing weight and having good BG numbers.  The choice was continue on and be more healthy than I was but less healthy than I could be or just try and change.

 

I decided to try and change and there was anger and depression over foods I could no longer have very often.  One day, though, I had a lunch with my son and saw that he had mostly cheap starches for his $10 lunch while, for $12 I avoided the carbs by purchasing some ala carte items.

 

But, I hear you, you have diabetes 24/7/365.  Test when you awake, after eating, before bed, watch what you eat.  Stress when you eat something you know is not right.  Don't get cut because they don't heal as fast.  You might just have a heart attack or stroke just because!  You might do everything right and it can still go all wrong.  If that doesn't mess with your head, you are crazy...

 

Please stay on the boards and let us know how you are doing.  Every day you wake up is a win for us all.

 

As far as exercise, start at a 1/4 mile and work up.  Soon you will be doing 2- 1/4 miles or you might set a time limit.  As you build again mentally and physically, increase the challenge.  As much as I hate the exercise, I am supremely satisfied when I make my goal and even more so if my speed was faster than yesterday.  On those days I am slower, I am still burning glucose so suck eggs diabetes!  Exercise is more mental than physical I think.  I would have quailed in fear at walking 3 miles a day when I first started even though I could probably do it physically then too. ~ Mike

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Staying low carb takes work. Stress causes the sugar to rise. Just do the best you can on the LCD. Once you learn what foods affect your by's you will be able to add some more carbs on. It will be okay.

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Kooka - Thank you.  I love a challenge so being low carb is, in a way, up my alley.  Today I saw an beautiful rotisserie chicken at the store and got it.  They brush on a type of soy sauce here in Hawaii and there might be a miniscule amount of sugar in the small amount that is brushed on while they broil it.  I don't even sweat that. 

 

In the past lunch would probably have been chicken, rice, and possibly mac salad (we call this a plate lunch in Hawaii) which is little wonder why we lead in obesity and T2 but I digress...

 

I also found some nice asparagus.  The nice slender stalks that will not be too woody.  So I had the makings of a fine lunch with chicken and asparagus.  I then had the idea to cut up the chicken, put the asparagus on top (after lightly steaming it), putting a slice of swiss cheese on top of that, microwave for 30 seconds to melt the cheese to bubbly, sprinkle black pepper on top and voila!  I made a small side salad of kale and tomato and dressed with a little lime juice and red wine vinegar.

 

Lunch was delicious and I know from experience this will hold me through dinner since I will keep too busy to be hungry lol...  I feel "perfectly" full and I know there is nothing in there to wig out my BG.  Total carb was 7.2 and a good portion of that will be fiber.

 

In all honesty, some of these meals have been the finest I have eaten in a long time.  It is so easy to crank up the stove and make Mac and Cheese or Stove Top.  Pop a potato in the microwave.  Even easier to throw rice in the cooker with some water and turn it on.  While those were satisfying, I can honestly say I had the better lunch today with just a little brain work.

 

Breakfast used to be tough but I have really come to like a kale and cheese omelet.  Mushrooms when I can get them.  There are so many ways to do an omelete that I don't need the rice, toast, or hash browns.  If I want something simpler or quick, then cream cheese and peanut butter mixed together seems to work.

 

Thank you for the encouragement.  Getting off the carbs is a challenge but I am finding there are better ways to eat!  1/2C white rice or 1/2C of steak is a no brainer choice.  Steak!

 

After I lose a significant portion of weight, I might revisit allowing some carbs but, for now, they will not help me. ~ Mike

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Well the cravings will come back at their own will so you are doing good. I kissed rice goodbye 11 years ago. Such a sad farewell. It often knocks at the door but alas we shall never meet on a plate again.

In a goofy mood. Have a great day!

 

 

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