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The Enchantment of Pandora

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When I read a mag, I start from the back



I missed bogging, I miss the clarity of getting your thoughts out of your head and I can re-examine them here. There is so much I'm feeling and thinking it can, at times being overwhelming.


I've been out and about today, this week has been busy. On Monday I had my first B12 injection and it went well, I haven't noticed anything or improved so far, as I'm still fatigued and so sleepy. If these injections don't work then I'll need a transfusion, I am trying,I try really hard.


I ache everywhere; my arms, legs, back and the bones in my limbs ache...it hurts so much, I have been in tears. My Son said it is because of my eating disorder depleting my body of iron and calcium for so long, now that I'm eating well they are now getting those nutrients and as they heal it does cause pain as I'm in a state of recovery.


I don't think when t comes to meals, I can't because I'd still refuse, for sure. It crosses my mind, not eating, but I have to think of something else. When food is so bloody expensive, as my diet has mainly speciality foods, I remember how inexpensive it was not eating. I don't get the sense of entitlement when it comes to food - - I did xyz so now I can eat < insert indulgence > I really don't understand, I eat to live, not live to eat.


More later, so tired.


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