After being able to get through the last couple of months without any or minimal problems, my eating disorder has being creating havoc the last couple of days. Not as bad as it has being previously, but then again she could be just getting started. I have a really uneasy feeling and starting to notice difficulty around meal times...I don't want to eat. I deprive myself of anything 'nice' as a form of punishment I guess I don't know but when I have problems I tend to really deprive myself to the point I'm really quiet hungry then I have a decent meal then the ritual starts again and again. When will this stop? Will I ever be ok? Will this horror haunt me for the rest of my life? I feel so full, another common thread is this, which tends to fool me into pushing meals back and back...with a hope in not eating at all. I wish I didn't though right now, I am so full and feel bloated...I don't like where is this seems to be heading but right now there doesn't seem to be a way out. I've stopped seeing my Psychologist because I could never get a face-to-face and the Psychologist I was advised to see it seems charges for appointments which is out of my budget...so I'm in a catch-22...forever damned if do/don't. What am I going to do?