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The Enchantment of Pandora

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Walking On A Cloud



Yesterday was quiet a day...I firstly received news from my GP that blew my mind, I was not expecting to have an A1c result of 5.8 - but I did - I went in to that appointment with the expectation of it to reflect positively that the NR and Lantus were/are working together to bring my results down and it more than did that. Now I can't wait to hear from my Endo's registrar to see what my Endo thinks of it; but if my GP's reaction is anything to go by, I think he'll be just as thrilled.


After the Doctor I had to test my bg and was also due for morning tea, which was about an hour late, I found this interesting cafe. When I tested I was having a hypo, my second one for the day so I ate the jelly beans and waited for fifteen minutes...relieved that it had gone up to normal I continued on with my morning tea and flipped through the newspaper. Then by the time I got home, I was almost due for lunch and again tested to find I was having another hypo...bloody h3ll how is this happening...my third for the day and in that 24 hour period I had five, one more and I would have to go to hospital. Not only was it alarming to be having my third hypo for the day, it was also the lowest I've been and quiet seriously the next step from there is hospital.


The Eating Disordered part of my brain has being taking the diabetes information and distorted it so I was getting a f%!^ked up interpretation of the information. When my eating disorder gets information on that all the information I was focussing on was carbs and sugar...cutting the carbs down to almost nothing and not having any sugar at all...so I was eating yeah, but I wasn't getting anything from the food because Ana was in-charge. It's kind of hard to explain, but was still restricting myself and controlling things but in a different way but the same disastrous results and I could have ended up in hospital yesterday.


My lantus dose has being cut back, as Ana also liked me to have basically no sugar in my blood stream at all so I was trying to get as low as I possibly could without having an actual hypo. No more. So this morning I was 4.6 and I have to get happy with being under 100 instead of 'fine lining it' chasing the sweet spot. The hypo's I had before - getting into trouble - were quiet serious, it was like I was 'drunk' like if you didn't know I am diabetic you would assume that I had being drinking as I was unsteady on my feet and really nearly fell over, shaky as all heck and I was freezing cold [still am today actually] but I had a chill down the length of my spine like my spinal fluid was freezing cold, I was not in a good way at all.


My eating, well the last few days had being alright, but as I've just said Ana has being in charge so while I was eating it wasn't the best. So now I have to make sure I eat without being restrictive and get enough energy from the food. So last night I made a baked dinner with pumpkin, sweet potato, carrot and chicken drumsticks and I even left the fat on the drummies...I was thinking of everything that Kit and Mike have being telling me and so I left it on and ate it too. After having the baked dinner my bg was 5.7 so I was pretty pleased with that and inspired me to take better care of myself. I technically, should not have had a hypo after the Doctor appointment yesterday as I ate a normal breakfast without restriction; then for morning tea I ordered a soy latte (i shouldn't have really had milk as it's a carb but I treated myself as I coffee only when out] I had to have the jelly beans and then had the biscuits I brought from home for morning tea [i have to take them with me as I cannot buy gluten-free & egg-free biscuits in cafe's here] so I don't know, it's in the past now I'm looking forward and learning from this whole experience. I hope this makes sense.


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