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right2fight

Here we go again!

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right2fight

Well, let's see, school #9 since 3rd grade, presently in 7th and having a bunch of fun until, my son stands up for himself in regards to privacy and his IEP. The teacher who has been a wonderful person up to this point becomes rather snippy. It's a defintie pattern, when the mishaps occur, the educators always take the defensive approach, but the child is expected to own up to their mistakes and take responsibility for their actions. My biggest concern is that my son will explode as he has had enough discrimination for ten lifetimes and I am so exhausted. Thanks for listening, any suggestions would be appriciatied.

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HollyB

Hi,

 

That must be so tough, and on your son especiallyl! So many school changes...

 

Maybe tell us a bit more about your situation? It's hard to offer suggestions without a little more detail about what happened.

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right2fight

Thanks Holly B. Currently it's the privacy issue and his IEP, which has to do with hand writing ability, so my son is not required to write the questions and answers, but the other students are. they want to know why, he has only to write the answers and after dealing with so much for so long, I guess my son has had it, he feels and is correct in that his IEP is private and the other students do not need to know information related to his IEP, yet the teacher said, "if any had ?, to see her after class." that did not sit well with my son and he expressed how violating it was. It always gets to this because they cannot seem to understand that once you have been violated repeatedly, it becomes a survival instinct when you see it happening again and again. It's so difficult to get the educators to understand. As usual they feel backed to the wall when the child is simply defending and protecting his rights. Now 13, my son was dx'd at 7 and been stripped of his childhood because of the ignorance that exists in our schools. Exposure is key and I guess I have a real hard time understanding why organizations such as the JDRF and ADA, who have the ability to get it out there, just don't. Thanks for allowing me to vent but I fear another school switch on the horizon. Please pray that my son may finish this school year, as he has finally formed friendships and is having a great time just being a teenager.

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HollyB

That does sound tough. I am realizing, reading other parents' stories, how lucky we have been to have support from Aaron's school and complete acceptance from his friends. It really never occurred to me that kids in this day and age would be subjected to some of the things I have heard about.

 

One suggestion -- make sure your son really wants to switch before doing it. In the teen years, a good group of friends can make the difference between and happy kid and a miserable kid, even if the school set-up is not ideal.

 

Here in Canada we have recently introduced privacy laws that have made everyone more careful. They are actually a bureaucratic pain sometimes, but in this case would be helpful. It should absolutely be your son's decision what he discloses about his IEP, and to whom.

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right2fight

Hi Holly B, We too have privacy laws here in the US. We are now embarking on our 3rd visit with the OCR. Sent back by the DOJ and we should hear something by February 16, from their preliminary investigation. It has been completely draining and most do not understand. I feel that if more parents took this approach and forced the school districts to follow the laws, we wouldn't be in this position. While I know this plight will not help my child, it will help the next child with diabetes and their families receive the education they deserve. My son is his own best advocate, having been violated so many times. A shame!

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Belinda

Ok I am still confused here. I teach special ed and do a ton of IEP's. What is your child's disability? Is he Learning Disabled (LD)? or is his handwriting just bad? does he have Cerebal Palsy etc....I must have missed some previous post or something. With an IEP there are 16 different disabilities so if you could tell me which one is on the IEP then I might understand a bit more and tell you how we handle situations like these in our school district (by the way I teach 8th grade resource....so my students are only with me for certain classes).

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samsmom

Makes me very thankful that my son's school has gone out of their way to accomidate us. I know it seems like it, but please remember that there are a lot of schools that do a good job with D care. Although I dont think that the handwriting issue has anything to do with diabetes (concerning the jdrf and ADA), I can see where you would be frustrated with the whole process. I would ask the teacher just what she was planning on telling the other kids about the handwriting thing, maybe she was just going to tell them "different rules sometimes apply"..that is what my son's aid tell kids at his school....how do the other kids know that your son is not required to write everything out??...Either way, the school (teacher) needs to come up with a response, even if it is "none of your business"....she is bound to have more children with IEP'S in the future, she better get used to it...good luck with the situation, let us know what happens....

 

shannon

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right2fight

Hi Belinda, The primary exceptionality is "other health impaired" he is also gifted, has had both speech and occupational therapies. Regardless of which I believe my child has his right to privacy concerning his individual education plan, don't you?

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right2fight

Shannon, for the most part, Florida has some real issues accomodating children with diabetes. My child is one of many and we have been at this for 6 years, making some great strides for other children with diabetes, it's just that they hate me, because I forced them to follow education laws and I won't quit until they are stopped in using their retailatory measures against children and parents of children with special needs. It's totally disgusting!

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Belinda
Hi Belinda, The primary exceptionality is "other health impaired" he is also gifted, has had both speech and occupational therapies. Regardless of which I believe my child has his right to privacy concerning his individual education plan, don't you?

 

 

Yes I do believe he has his rights for his needs to be meet on his IEP. I was just confused as to why a diabetic had an IEP and not a 504. In TN we do not write IEP's for gifted children putting them under the special ed umbrella. If he is still getting OT then I assume that he/she should be in on the IEP's goal and objectives and has an input. You can always call a meeting/conference with the teacher and ask her what she was going to say. Other health impaired does not cover students with diabetes either. I have had several students with other health impaired which is usually ADHD and the parents don't want to medicate etc.......but what about all the other kids that are ADHD that don't have an IEP? and are medicated etc......one is that the parent does not want them under the special ed category. Since new Federal guidelines have gone into effect the rules of putting ADHD in resource is coming to an end...so is putting learning disabled in resource if their needs can be meet with modifications in the regular room. Can you imagine all the grumpling from regualr ed?????

 

I am fortunate that our school works well. We have students all the time asking about why this student has this or that, what is wrong with him/her? There are special ed discrimination laws as well. I do know my student resource that is fend for themselves and explain it to their peers as to why. They also will go up to their reg ed teachers and ask for copies of notes, not to read aloud unless they know what it is before hand to get assistance with hard words. they are their best advocates and usually will fend for themselves when it comes down to it. It is easier to come from the kid than a teacher...kids take it better.

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right2fight

while I understand that the 504 is more medically related, we have had the IEP soon after dx. Other health impaired was the category for diabetes when we drew the IEP up, I don't know if it has changed since. As far as my child advocating for himself, he does so wonderfully. Problem, after 6 years of ignorance and stupidity, it gets very old! Anyway, thanks for your input and I will post after February 16, when I receive OCR's preliminary determination. Please keep up in your thoughts, as the answer will help all children with diabetes in school.

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Belinda

Now I am really confused.....you had it after dx and at the time he had speech and OT through the school? If so, then that explains the IEP. Now if he is not getting speech and OT and has it just for his diabetes then your school is completely off somehow....or at least I think so. Your son should have a reevaluation every 3 years to determine eligibiliy if this has not been done since dx and they are using the diabetes to write an IEP that is so wrong....as you know the IEP is an Individual Education Plan for mostly educational needs. Medical needs are covered under a 504. I just know that in middle school it is hard for kids in generally.....what a growing time for them BUT I do know to that none of them want to go to high school with special ed labels. Now if they are writing an IEP becauses he is gifted then that is another story. We don't write them for gifted students. Good luck to you.

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56sushi

I'm a little confused reading this and don't know how to use the quote buttons yet. Do I understand correctly that kids were questioning why your son didn't have to write the entire question and answer on the assignment and the teacher's response was "if you have questions about this you can see me after class" Your son interpreted this as the teacher discussing his IEP with other students and voiced his objections? (possibly stridently and with other students present?) The teacher took exception to this and your son was disciplined in some way? When you discussed it with her she got "snippy"?

Is that what happened?

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Erin

right2fight,

 

I was at one point a 7 year old with diabetes, and then later a 7th grader with diabetes, and am currently a 1st grade ctt (collaborative team teaching) general education teacher. I work closely with my special ed partner, and 8 special education and 15 general education students daily.

 

I OFTEN ask students to speak to me privately regarding their questions about other children's disabilities. The teacher may have been advocating for your son. I obviously do not go into depth about the other child's problem, but I do tell the student "different people need different things to help them learn best... how do you think _______ feels hearing you ask that? Do you feel like he might think you were making fun of him?"

 

I understand how it must have felt to your son... but think about this from his teacher's perspective. She was trying to get the spotlight OFF of your son when others were questioning his needs publicly. He had NO way of knowing what she would have said after class. THEN he starts standing up for himself (I assume loudly, and again publicly?) and you fault her for feeling backed up to a wall??? All she was trying to do was get the class to STOP talking about your son, and START doing the classwork that they all needed to do.

 

Then instead of having an honest discussion about what happened with her and your son, and figuring it all out, you went directly to the DOJ... not even the Principal of the school?

 

And you wonder why she's on the defensive, and may be acting in a retaliatory way towards your son? Teachers are PEOPLE, and they make mistakes even when they are trying in every way possible to act in the best interest of their students.

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Erin

And.... completely unrelated.

 

Look into getting your son typing lessons. I've experienced older children with OT issues can often type much more easily than they can write. This will enable him to complete more classwork, and ^ his marketability once he's old enough for a job.

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samsmom

Very well stated..not everything needs to be so much drama. Even though past expierences may sour you towards the school system does not mean that every action by the school is wrong. I also know that tone of voice by a child can weigh heavily into a situation. With only your son's word and the teacher's word on how things were spoken, you are stuck between a rock and hard place on who to believe.

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right2fight

Hi Erin, I was surprised to find a response this morning to this old thread, thanks for your thoughts.

 

The teacher is a wonderful person and we both understand at times the teacher must make decisions on the spot and there not always correct. Teachers are human and make mistakes, we all do.

 

Your assumption that I went directly to the DOJ because of this incident is wrong. One does not "knee jerk" to the DOJ. You must work your way up the chain of command. It has taken 6 agonizing years, enduring violation upon violation to get there.

 

Hence, my son speaking up loudly for himself, the result of the constant violations since the very tender age of 7, while attending school having not only to tend to his own diabetic needs but putting up with the ignorance and the failure to provide "due care" as prescribed by law. For example: school nurse treated a BS of 48 with a diet soda, injected him with insulin at 8:30 am not pursuant to doctors orders and told my then 8 year old son he would have his leg amputated. In other words just trying to stay alive!

 

The teacher, as I said is great! At her request I will be chaperoning a 16 hour field trip on the 22nd. I can't wait.

 

Erin, it takes a special person to be an ESE teacher, keep up the great work!

 

Margaret

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Erin

Sorry, It seemed from your post that you were going to the DOJ because of this incident.

 

I remember similar problems with school nurses when I was a kid.... I just dealt with low bgs on my own... but that was back in the dark ages, before kids really needed to take insulin in school (NPH had that "wonderful" peak that covered lunch).

 

I think things will work out for you and your son... good luck.

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right2fight

Thanks Erinn, I too think all will be fine. The process has certainly taken its toll on us, yet the care for children with diabetes in the local school district is so much better and I am believe firmly that persistence always pays off.

 

Margaret

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