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Eri's mom


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I had more--I wasn't finished!!! Sorry--I musta hit the SUBMIT Button by mistake!


SO--Don't look for Eri to get hit by some magic-bullet of maturity. That will not happen until sometime in her 20s--IF you're lucky! I know how difficult raising kids is, and I'm glad you take this seriously. She may be still small (and immature, and manipulatable) enough to institute what we call in Special Education a 'Token Economy'. In a token economy system of behavior modification, the child is given something (stickers, points on a chart, tokens of some sort...), something to keep track of her successes, and to dock her for her failures. So, for instance, you never reward good tests or punish bad tests, but you give points for doing the test, and deduct points for refusing to do it. Deduct even more pointsd for lying about doing it... The points (tokens, whatever) are saved up, like cash, to purchase something that she really wants--be that a trip to an amusement park, new bicycle, a camping trip, video game, clothing, sleep-over, whatever you agree on. Set it up so that it'll take her a good long while (many weeks to a few months) to accumulate enough points to earn a substantial reward. Lesser rewards may also play a role--a CD, book, toy, etc. I've used this type of system at work to very good effect, but she's got to take ownership of it, and it's got to reward her with things SHE really wants, and thinks she can actually get. Then, her motivation to test becomes, in a sense, internalized--she may not wish to test for the result of testing (good control) yet, but she'll have her own reason to do it, something more meaningful and immediate. You might want to do some research on "token economies for behavior modification" on Google to get a background before you talk to her about it or try to set it up. I don't think she's too old for it quite yet--in fact, I've used it to bribe immature 16 year old delinquents into acceptable school behaviors!


Good luck!


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Eri's mom

Hi and thanks Michael...that's awesome advice.


She does try to bribe me...but I can see where this type of reward system...point system...will be of GREAT use(especially considering where she wants to shop for new school clothes and how often she wants to go to Busch Gardens....it will be a GREAT incentive.


Thank you so much!!!


God bless :)

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