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giggs

Any advice will do.

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marchez

People are complex. Life is tough enough on us without having to deal with chronic health problems.

 

Unfortunately, people who don't want to help themselves can't be helped.

 

Some people take longer to come around and when you have depression in the mix, it can substantially complicate healing mentally from a shocking and life altering moment like learning that you have diabetes.

 

I don't have specfic advise but removing stressors is key. Move to a better city/town, remove things that you have control over to lessen tension.

 

Best of luck and take care of yourself too...go get a massage and relax!

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Hikeandbike

Some one has probably said this but have him join this forum!

I'm newly Dx and don't post much but just reading a learning about eveyone else has helped tremendously. Was in a bad way but you all helped very much.

Rich

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Mick

Living with a diabetic, under ANY circumstances, can be difficult from time to time, and loving one can be torture occasionally. In the world of diabetes, it takes ONE--the diabetic--to command that particular universe. Unless HE is the Master of his Diabetic Universe, all is lost, forget it... BUT, in the world of successful relationships, it always takes TWO, and in equally present and responsible doses--or all is lost. I know this because my late wife married me IN SPITE of my diabetes, in spite of her parents disowning her because of my diabetes, in spite of her fears of my eventual future complications and what her mother told her would be a lifetime of caring for a cripple, under financial hardship, until she became a too-young widow. We eloped, ran away together at the age of 21, and to heck with everyone. We had an attitude of "Us against the world", and a lot to prove--so we did, we did it all--finished college, put one another thru graduate school, began successful careers, bought a house, tried to have children... HA!! Now THAT was ironic--the worries were always that I would have the problems--maybe I couldn't father children--but it turned out that SHE could not concieve. Didn't matter--we adopted 2 beautiful, smart wondeful babies, raised them into great young adults. I did not burden my wife (too much) with my diabetes--I took care of it, but WE took care of one another--IF I was having some "diabetes problems" (mostly lows), she was always there. But it was always mutual--I also supported HER various difficult patches, there was always a certain equality--that's what lasting, fulfilling relationships are built from. Funny thing is, what everyone told her all those 34 years ago was absolutely wrong. They are all dead now--every one of them, her parents, my parents, and my loving, devoted, patient wife, all dead and buried--I outlived them all, me the crippled, disabled, doomed diabetic. Damned if I didn't outlive them all just to prove them wrong about me! You just never know... It takes two, my darling--and it appears you are playing a mostly solo game here. It takes two EQUAL partners, two equal in devotion, in caring, in loyalty, in energy, in love and passion, to make a lasting loving relationship. Think about that before deciding anything...

 

Michael

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56sushi

I felt really sad, reading your original posts and replies. You sound so lonely. I have watched my son and his gf go through similiar struggles. He was Rx in Jan. , hit with the rare complication of insulin neuritis in Feb. (still can't walk) and much of his anger, fear and frustration falls upon his 21 yr. old gf to cope with.

I can only offer a few suggestions. You have a right to have your needs for physical and emotional intimacy met. You have a right to have some fun. It is not too much to ask that he attend a movie with you. If you want to tough it out a bit longer I would tell him about your lonliness. I would tell him that memories and love aren't enough, that you need nurturing too. If you can offer a few specific suggestion, like "I want us to go out 1 night every few weeks," or "i still need to be held."

You sound like a really giving person but IMO there is an element of self pity in his wallowing that he needs to understand is erroding your relationship. I hope you haven't established a pattern of denying your own needs that he has come to accept as the norm, because he is sick.

I also hope that you maintain other relationships and friendships. This bothers my son about his gf but I think it helps keep her sane and upbeat as he struggles through some things that may cause him to become permanently disabled.

I wish you the best and hope that he is able to see what he may be losing.

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