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willfan

hello, my 15 yr old

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willfan

hi guys , need help with my 15 yr old who has been diabetic since she was 11months old, im at the end of my tether with her she wont do bm's or fill her book in , i just feel ive lost control of her any ideas.i feel so low at he moment :(

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Penny

She is at a difficult age, even if she didn't have Diabetes. I sure feel for you. Maybe you can find someone that she will listen to at this time......most 15 year olds will listen to anyone except a parent. :) There are teens on the forum, maybe you could get her to talk to them. In the meantime, here's a hug for you, I know you need it.

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Jamison

Well, I happen to be 16 and I do not fill in my log book and I have only had diabetes for 2 months. To me, It is just a waste. If I take too much insulin, my BS will go low and if I do not eat something before exercising it will go too high. If i miscalculate carbs or eat extra it will go too high so I suggest you let the log slide.

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willfan
Well, I happen to be 16 and I do not fill in my log book and I have only had diabetes for 2 months. To me, It is just a waste. If I take too much insulin, my BS will go low and if I do not eat something before exercising it will go too high. If i miscalculate carbs or eat extra it will go too high so I suggest you let the log slide.

 

she has to fill it in as the hospital like to see whats going on when we have to go every 3 months, then they decide what to do about her insulin, ive filled it in for the past 14 years but i thought it was time for her to take some of the responsability, but if she doesnt do her sugar levels how can i fill them in:rolleyes:

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PepsiLvr

Sometimes I think log books are a little over-rated. I was dxd at the age of 24 (5 years ago) I was never even told to fill in a log book and If I was, I probably wouldn't have done it. What I have is more of a psudo-logbook. It is the One Touch Ultra Smart meter. It has a built in log book and does graphs of BG levels and you can even input your carbs, meals, health, etc. Maybe she will be more interested in that? If all else fails, there is always the trip to the hospital to see and talk to the people who are really bad off (to explain the complications to come if she doesn't keep on track) ;)

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fgummett

Ideally the BG testing and log go hand in hand, but to my thinking it is more important that she is testing and using that to correct than logging... maybe if you back off on the logging she might get on with the testing?

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lgvincent

I went through the same thing at that age and I didn't grow out of it until after I had finished college. It was at that point that I realized I was doing myself more harm than good. I can't say there is any way to make her change her behavior, it's more of a learning process for her. Try to encourage her to take care of herself but she's probably going to have to learn these lessons on her own.

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Coppernob

I understand how you must feel and can imagine your frustration, anxiety and depression.

 

I identify with your daughter because I have been right where she is now. My real rebellion came during my university years when my parents could not see what was going on. In the end I realized that I was actually hurting myself and so got myself back on track.

 

Your daughter has been diabetic for so long and she probably doesn't see the point of it all - you know that teenage "I am invincible" feeling. I agree with the previous comments, especially the last two.

 

Just hang in there Mum and be there for her - I know it is hard.

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SueM

Your best bet is to have a word in consultant and DSN's ear without daughter knowing.

Then get them to sit down with her and have an adult talk.

Not give her the complications blurb all it does is make teenagers more rebelious.

Explain that bs readings are needed so that insulin can be altered to keep her healthy and also above all so that she can hold a driving license.

At 16 she can hold a moped licence but no control no licence.

A diabetic hormonal teenager :eek: Good luck :D

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RobiJo
hi guys , need help with my 15 yr old who has been diabetic since she was 11months old, im at the end of my tether with her she wont do bm's or fill her book in , i just feel ive lost control of her any ideas.i feel so low at he moment :(

 

she has to fill it in as the hospital like to see whats going on when we have to go every 3 months, then they decide what to do about her insulin, ive filled it in for the past 14 years but i thought it was time for her to take some of the responsability, but if she doesnt do her sugar levels how can i fill them in:rolleyes:

 

Use a program to upload the data from the meter. It's much more useful than logging ever will be. Lifescan, Freestyle, etc all have programs. If she has a MM pump, use Carelink. If this is not possible log it together. Kids scream that they won't freedom, but many really want freedom from the responsibility of D. Make using the program/log book something you do together... and (hold your breath) don't "yell" at her for what she's not doing, rather set goals. Make it a routine. Always upload/log together on Sunday mornings for example. It should help keep her accountable as well.

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seanmarr

I was 15 once and I did something similar. You just get fed up with it. Someone suggested that an UltraSmart is like a log book and acutally I think it would solve the log book problem - I know I rely on it absolutely. I havn't checked what country you're in but I know they can be had in the UK for around £20 max (possibly free if your DSN has a secret stash).

 

My advice would be to let it go - its not worth the stress arguing over it. Unfortunatly you cant ever go on holiday over diabetes and I personally think that everyone should just stay as happy as possible.

 

The fact that you are writing that 'she needs to fill it in so that the hospital can decide on her insulin' shows there is a clear need for education as she, or you as her carer (if indeed you see that as your role) needs to make those sorts of decisions.

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UpNorth

I didn't have diabetes yet when i was 15, i was diagnosed days before i turned 19... But if i had been diabetic when i was 15, i'd most likely be quite pissed off if my mum was naggin on me all the time about diabetes related things, especially if living with the disease for so long. Maybe it's time to let go and let her deal with it on her own. After all these years she should be able to manage it brilliantly as long as puberty doesn't cause too much trouble for her. Also, some, or maybe even quite many diabetics can pretty much feel at about what level they're at. I know of Type 1's who ONLY test when feeling completely off and don't know if it's a high or low causing it. The rest of the time they just go by feeling.

 

Get your hands on a meter that records the test results, the OTUS is a great choice in this case.

 

But the main thing with kids in the teens... Encourage, but NEVER nag about things. Nagging usually just means the teen will do the opposit, so if you nag on your daughter to test, she'll most likely test even less. I know i was that way anyways:o If mum told me to clean my room, i watched TV instead :T

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Alice

After 43 years of this...I probably hate "logging numbers" more than the disease itself! I think it's "ok" to not log...if a few compromises are met...

 

Such as backing up a doctors appointment with an excellent A1C test. If that number isn't so great...then a two-week log would be needed, minimum.

 

A doctor should understand teens and "logging"...which is different than testing. I test all day. I just hate the extra step of writing it down or downloading...whatever. It's a mental fight for me.

 

Yet, I still manage to take about two weeks of numbers to the doctor each visit. Especially to a new doctor. Sometimes I pull them out, sometimes not...but I'm always prepared.

 

I find the numbers are confusing for the doctors since they tend to concentrate on one particular day they like or don't like...it the case of my last doctor, she only noticed the first log number...the rest just didn't sink in with her and that's understandable.

 

Also, it helps if you come up with a "fun" way to log. Stick a chart on the bathroom mirror. Or set up a special page on the computer...something to catch a few numbers.

 

Ideally, you would have a pre-meal number and a post-meal number for all meals...but I often have a few open spots.

 

I hated those "little log books"...instead, I just grab my daily planner and jot the number there...then transfer later for a doctors appointment.

 

Key, just find something that works...even if it's a compromise at this point.

 

til the day I die...I hate logging. Not testing...logging.

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kstreeter513

I am 21 and don't log. I quit logging when I was around 15. This was the time I realized it was unnecessary. I do log for certain circumstances though. If making adjustments on my pump I definatly log so I can see what changes need to be made. Also for the 2-3 weeks before a Dr. visit, I will log just for something for them to see. I don't really even know why I bother with that anymore, because at this point in the game, I know just about all they can tell me.

 

How are your daughter's blood sugars? If they are good, is there really a need to log? Honestly? If they aren't so good, then logging definatly has it's benefits and should be done, but if your daughter is responsible enough to test regularly, and maintain good control, then I really don't see a need for logging.:)

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Eddy

I don't log. I tried, but it was too time-consuming. (Of course, had you seen the "estimated IOB" graphs and other insanity that I included as "logging"...)

 

Does she want you to help her track? It's possible that she feels overwhelmed or abandoned. Hopefully you and she could talk about her taking more control, even if gradually.

 

I generally am a "do it in my head"-type person. I mentally track my food, insulin, and environment, and figure things out as I go along. I was the same way at university; rarely did I take notes, as that tended to distract me from watching and listening.

 

She might be the same way. The bottom line is: How well is she managing her condition? Is she avoiding wicked spikes and drops? How about her A1c results?

 

Not testing blood sugar would be another matter. Although I usually have a decent feel for where I am, I'm still wrong often enough that I (admittedly not a long-timer) average eight or nine tests per day.

 

Perhaps she doesn't like the hospital trips? I certainly wouldn't. I greatly prefer self-management, and believe that's the best (only?) sustainable method. Her next set of labs could well indicate her ability to self-manage.

 

Finally, just remember: You do your best, and that's the best you can do. She has free will.

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Dina

I was diagnosed at age 4 and I have to admit that from the ages of 16 till just recently i really didn't take that good of care of myself:( I had the most supportive friends and family (as I am sure you are for your 15 year old) here are a few things that started to make me take care of myself

 

A person that now doesn't have a leg due to not taking care of himself- told me that even though I feel fine now in the long run the side effects of diabetes will catch up to me...I mean imagine losing a leg:eek:

 

Another thing that happend...and this was the most intense..is

my family talked to me- most of them cried! they told me that me having diabetes affects all of them because they love me. They told me how they worry day and night, and how I need to take better care of myself, and stop being self-fish, because it is not always about me, but about the people that are in my life that love me! Now, they compliment me on how well I am taking care of myself :)

 

It really takes 20 seconds OR LESS to check your bs and write it down! I don't think you are asking to much:D

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toriavic

I am 21 now and I don't log my blood sugar either and I never really did- my mother always did it for me until I took control of things as I got older. I've made a promise to myself to start writing things down- it is the only way to see what insulin dose is working best.

But I do always carry my insulin with me everywhere and I test my blood sugar as often as possible. As long as you can make sure she tests her blood, then you can write down her numbers for her because most monitors keep a record of the last 20 times she tested with the time. When I was 15 I was out of control with my blood sugar and I could have caused damage had I not grown out of that phase of my life. I also switched to lantus at 15 and it saved me because I had to worry so much less about fluctuating blood sugars throughout the day. I never wanted to wear a pump because at 15 it didn't fit in with my wardrobe! But tell your daughter that testing her blood sugar is so extremely important for her not to have poor control later on in life. I was also very embarassed to tell my friends at that age that I was a diabetic which I think was a mistake. Encourage her to inform her friends- I found that when i did begin to tell my friends they either didn't care or were supportive- no one will think negatively of her for it-

The best advice I can give is don't let her control things herself unless she is going to make an effort to do it properly-an example being if she wanted to stay out until a certain time tell her she can't unless she is going to test her blood- even if she hates you for it- she will thank you when she gets older- I didn't understand how hard it was for my mother at that age but I do now and I really appreciate it

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lindapumping

Ok, I am at that place where my 16 year old daughter who has had diabetes since she was 2 1/2 is learning how to drive! Its very scary, i am forever worried that she will go low not have a drink box handy etc. So i am already putting all the mechanics in place to make sure that she has everything in the car before she goes any where, i am stressing testing before driving (but you know once they get the license you can't be with them all the time, any advice suggestions?

 

thanks linda

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kstreeter513

Your daughter is 16 now. She is growing up an becoming an adult. Along with this maybe you should back off her a little bit. Not trying to sound harsh here, but at 16 she need to be taking some responsibility for herself. If she can't remember or is too lazy to make sure she has the items in her car to be a safe responsible driver, then she should not be allowed to drive. However if she can prove that she is adult enough to ensure her (not to mention the other drivers on the road) safety, then you may want to let her take more control of her own life. How else will she learn to live on her own? Sorry, but the fact is that you won't be there for her forever, and 16 is plenty old enough to take responsibility for one's self.

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RobiJo
Your daughter is 16 now. She is growing up an becoming an adult. Along with this maybe you should back off her a little bit. Not trying to sound harsh here, but at 16 she need to be taking some responsibility for herself. If she can't remember or is too lazy to make sure she has the items in her car to be a safe responsible driver, then she should not be allowed to drive. However if she can prove that she is adult enough to ensure her (not to mention the other drivers on the road) safety, then you may want to let her take more control of her own life. How else will she learn to live on her own? Sorry, but the fact is that you won't be there for her forever, and 16 is plenty old enough to take responsibility for one's self.

 

Ohhh. Now there's a thought... Keeping a1c in line, numbers in line (or proof of testing--downloading meter etc.) in order to get an keep your license. I wish my parents would have thought of that.

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HollyB

I know we can't always know for sure that our kids are testing before driving. But you can sure insist on it during the practise driving period (a year in Ontario), just like seatbelts. As far as I'm concerned, driving without testing and having supplies in the car is in the same ballpark as driving after drinking -- it's not just yourself you may be hurting, but other people. Not OK.

 

There are a couple of stories on this forum, if you can find them, of people who had some very frightening near-miss experiences becoming disoriented after going low while driving. You might dig them up and have your daughter read them. Because, you know, it's so easy at that age to just think, "I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen!"

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Tattoo azz

I have to agree on the last two posts, also i've had t1 for 25 years now and during my teens i failed to keep logs (sometimes i just used to make them up so my mum wouldn't yell, but the doc always new cos the numbers didn't match with the A1C, lol stoopid azz again). If she hasn't got a meter which connects to the pc get her an ultrasmart but only on the understanding that if her numbers aren't under control then you'll take away something, like pc time for example, ultrasmarts are about £19 ish without the tax. Also, is your daughter a member of DF? It may help her to understand a bit more if she can read for herself the mistakes lots of us long time D's have made rather than have you tell her (i know you love and care a lot for her but when i was a teen i just didn't listen to anyone who didn't have 'D' even my doc).

Hope things get better soon

Azz

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volleyball

Not having to deal with type 1 but being a parent, My only ideas is to maybe make a deal, test often, show me your numbers and if they are ok, maybe logging is not needed.

I could see where having to log separates her from the crowd she is so desperately trying to be a part of.

I am glad to see a transfer of responsibility to the teen, Actually, I think as soon as they become a teen, it should start. My little just got out of college and many of her friends are so scared of being an adult because up until the day they left for college, they were babied. Parents bailing them out throughout college and now the parents say off with you, you are an adult.

The license thing is an excellent thing if the kid is into driving.

Make a deal, she can shave her head if she keeps a log book, what ever works.

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HollyB

I actually keep Aaron's log book for him. He does pretty much everything else (except order his own supplies, which are on my credit card lol) and it's a tedious job guaranteed to be hated by a teenage boy. I'm happy to do it and it allows me to keep an eye on how his numbers are without having to constantly ask. And not sure if there's research to back it up, but the current thinking among leading pediatric professionals is that that continued involvement/support of parents tends to protect teens from "burnout" and encourage better control. (even when they claim to be irritated by it.)

 

Well before he leaves home we'll be getting the software so he can download his meter onto a logging program. At that point he'll be in charge, since he has the PC (Plea to meter companies: mac-compatible software, please!).

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weejules83

hi there i really feel for you as my toddler was diagonosed last year and this is one of my fears as he grows up whether or not he will look after himself properly hopefully its just a stage shes going through and shell come round.

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