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nicole

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geegies

Nicole,

I contininue to think of and pray for you, Bobby, and the little baby inside of you. You must be very scared...

I encourage you to continue to be open to this little baby and the absolute gift that it already is.

I agree with Evermont- it sounds to me like you are filled with love and compassion, and that you would bless this child in an amazing way, just as it, no doubt, will bless you.

All the best!

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Psycho Penguin

Actually owlyn if you were a teenager and had unprotected sex and got pregnant then whined about circumstances, you'd probably get yelled at too for being stupid. That's life. What "support" does she need if she isn't even telling her parents?

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Evermont
...be prepared for both sides. ...

 

It seems to me that nicole is indeed prepared for both sides. She's certainly getting both and take note of how well she's handling it so far. Remarkable.

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genie86333
If I didn't want to hear what you all have to say I would have never posted this thread!

 

I posted it to get your advice and thoughts on it.. for example wether some of you would do it or not, or maybe some of you have and I wanted to know how it made you feel afterwards.

 

Not to be criticized for keeping my options open.

 

I haven't seen anyone criticizing your for keeping your options open - they're criticizing you for not using your brain in advance so that you wouldn't have to kill a child in order to keep your life the way you want it. Your options are open...but only as to what kind of a mother you'll be: one who gives the child she created a chance at life or one who doesn't.

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genie86333

I also wanted to add a bit more:

 

No, life won't be easy with a child, but it never is. Even if you're stable with a job & a good husband also with a job, having a child is tough. Your life changes. HOWEVER: your life has already changed, just with the existance of this child. No matter what you decide - your life will NEVER go back to the same as it was, so if that's what you're hoping for, forget it.

 

When you first posted about this, you made it sound like your boyfriend was happy about this & you said he's not happy about termination - If you do decide to terminate, that will be between you two forever. Also, you won't be the same person as you were before you got pregnant, because of the major, life-changing decisions you'll have made (whichever way you decide.) And also, remember that this decision doesn't just affect you & Bobby...it also affects the child you carry.

 

Being a mom can be the most wonderful experience ever... holding your child for the first time, happy yells of "mommy mommy mommy!" when you come home from a long day of work...It makes up for the tough times. Just ask your mom. I'm sure she'd be glad to tell you.

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EeyoreButterfly

Nicole, I will preface this by saying that I am Catholic and feel the only acceptable circumstances for abortion are cases of rape or when the mother's life is in danger.

 

That being said, I am glad that you are not rushing into this. Some women have abortions and feel just fine emotionally. Other women never get over it. I've heard women speak who say that they feel very guilty for ending a life. They look at their children they have now and wonder about the one that they killed. They see children who are the same age theirs would have been and wonder what their child would be like. These women bear this burden every day and they never get over it. Obviously this is not everybody, but this is something you need to take into consideration.

 

I went through the foster parent training in my state, and one of the thigns we had to learn about is all the programs out there. There is a program called Women Infants Children (WIC) that can help you out if you are in a tough financial situation with a baby. It helps you buy food and supplies for both yourself and the baby. There are also food stamps as well. Many states do have state sponsored health insurance for families that cannot afford it otherwise, and this would also be an option for you.

 

It sounds like Bobby is very supportive and will be there for you if you have this child. You already have a leg up over many other women in your same situation. You stated that you live with your parents. This leads me to believe that they will support you in this situation.

 

Abortion affects everybody. You are right, it will affect you the most, but your parents will also be affected by the loss of their grandchild, and they deserve to be in on the situation.

 

There is one other thing I would hope you would consider, I am posting it below.

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EeyoreButterfly

I think one of the most moving things I have heard was a speech a girl gave in my Oral Interpretation class about her own experience with abortion.

 

She became pregnant and decided to have an abortion. Abortion is not available in our university town, so she drove an hour and a half to get RU 486. Her boyfriend offered to be with her during it, but she felt it was something she should go through on her own.

 

She said that it was the worst night of her life. She said it was very painful, and at one point she was positive she was going to die. She even called the hospital and they told her it was normal. She told us that she still feels that she made the right decision, but it changed her life forever.

 

I could never judge a woman who found herself in that situation even though I do not agree wit htheir decision, but I couldn't imagine going through with it.

 

On the flip side, the president of our campus's Catholic Newman Center became pregnant her senior year, out of wedlock. Nobody judged her, we all supported her. She gave the baby up for adoption to a couple in St. Louis who could not have children. She has it so that she gets yearly updates and can visit the child. We threw her a baby shower and everyone was very supportive of her decision. She had a hard time giving the child up, but she has never once regretted her decision.

 

I wish you luck with whatever you decide. I will be praying for you.

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EeyoreButterfly

Oops! Meant to say the point of that last post is that regardless of your decision I think that you need to let your parents in on it. Whatever method you choose can have nasty side effects, and I don't know how it will e differnet for you (if it will) because you have diabetes. Your parents need to be aware so that they can watch you and get you help should anything go wrong.

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lugnut48
She's certainly getting both and take note of how well she's handling it so far. Remarkable.

 

If that's what you call it. I'm still confused by your adamant support of her.

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Psycho Penguin

Clearly I should go to an abortion support website and expect support for my diabetes. I'm sick of this "She's on DF, we can support people here!" Yeah, about DIABETES.

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notme

Clearly we can't seem to talk about any subject that has the least amount of controversy without it becoming an attack.

 

I am hoping people are just stressed this month and we can go on about the business of being civil soon.

 

I am closing this thread as it has gotten mean spirited.

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